TWENTY!!!!! Gosh, I did my son's room out some time ago and was proud to get eight. Mind you, it looks as if it needs doing again 
That's great that you have your room almost complete. Have heard the Snow White film is good, haven't seen it yet myself.
So you are thinking of moving the wedding abroad...well you would be able to have a smaller gathering if you did that as well as perhaps being more certain of the weather, what country were you thinking of?
Hi Louise
Well having the wedding abroad is just going to be me and my partner thats the plan anyway and were looking at Greece,Turkey, somewhere nice and warm.
The moving in date is getting closer and the g/f and her son have used a wall chart to mark off the remaining days before they move to make it exciting for him, its gonna be a busy time with moving the contence of there house and changing schools, child care 
hope all goes well and better luck second time around fingers crossed.
Stuart
Oh that all sounds fab. You're right, it is a big step but the both of you have got a lot of wisdom from what has gone before so there is no reason for anything but a wonderful future 
Hi stuart, nice to hear from you, good to hear that the children are all doing well and things have calmed down - presumably your ex has got used to the new situation?
So there are changes with the wedding plans, you know that if you go abroad, we all have to be invited, don't you 
Where have you considering going?
Afternoon Anna
Well after some holiday looking and wedding planning we have come up with the plan of getting married over here just me my partner and the children,then the children going to there respective other parents and us two have a hooneymoon in some where like cyprus or turkey were at the looking at hotels stage.
Sorry guys and girls there only enough room for the two of us on the holiday will send a post card though wishing you was here lol.
Stuart
Ha ha, you so won't! We won't even cross your mind!
So how are the children adjusting to the new family members, I guess it is still early days as they have not yet moved in, but how will they view your wife-to-be?
Daddy's girlfriend or their stepmum? What role do you want her to play? What role would she like to play? Have you had this discussion yet?
hello Anna
They call her by here name and refer to her as dads girlfriend at the moment but will have to talk to them after we marry they can call her what they feel comfortable with and she is to,they still call there mums husband by his first name dont class him as stepdad seeing as they have a dad already.
My children are fine they are just waiting for the moving in day as the rooms have already been sorted out and over time the g/f has moved things into mine slowly.
The roles well active supportive roles fingers crossed, family life as we all know never run soothly 
.
Big steps for us all coming up after the past experience as you all well know just hope better luck second time round.
Keep us posted, as it is good to hear all your news
Hi stuart, it is good to read that they recognise their parents girl/boyfriends as just that rather than step parent, although this may change once you have been living together a while. One or some of the children might want things to be different.
I was just wondering about discipline, because if you are all under one roof, do you then have the right to tell off one of her children (as the boyfriend?) or will that be her job.
Do you talk about how you will parent together?
Hello Anna
Yes we have spoken about discipline and the way we both deal with childrens out bursts. The rule is if theres any over stepping the boundries sending them to there room with no tv or games console works for me in are home and the same works in with her child in her home and that will continue under one roof, we also all sit round the dinner table at tea time just for that short space of time as a family unit we are both big on that,we have taken are time to move things in slowly and reasure the children along the way whats happening.
The g/f sons dad has been involed all the way with changing school visits child care providers and date of move,he can be awarkward as so can my ex at times but my ex has been quiet for a while now (fingers crossed).
My children dont call there mums new husdand dad or step dad i believe because they have a strong conection with me if they wanted to then it would be there choice but that conversation never came up,same as if they wanted to call my partner mum step mum it just seams to work that way for us.
Just want things to go smoothly and then settle down in to a family routine again.
Stuart
That sounds great. I certainly found that sitting round the table together was a big help with my two, as before that I was feeding them and just getting myself something later on. I started just with Sundays so it wasn't too much of a culture shock
Of course it is really important for the two of you to discuss your different/similar parenting styles and I am really glad that you have done so.
Its all sounding great stuart, are you taking a summer holiday this year all together?
Hi Anna
No holiday this year its the moving in together then the saving up for the wedding and hoonymoon.
Its just a week some where hot with out the children bliss.
Stuart
Sounds like a slice of Paradise!
Hello ladies
Just to keep you up to date my partner and her son have now moved in, it was last saturday and it took only three trips in a van but my how do we collect so much stuff over the years.
I am off of two weeks so i am enjoying the piece while my children are not her and my partners sons on holiday with his dad.
Ohh it finally happened How are you all settling in together? I hope your enjoying your time without the children!
Ooh, how lovely, just the two of you settling in together before the children come home, that sounds fab.
I hope that you are having romance and bliss in this beautiful weather, while you get the chance!
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Hi stuart, how was your holiday in the summer?
Did you have a good birthday?!
How is step family life?
Hope you are well
Hello Anne
Holiday in the summer lol what summer ? It went way to fast and i was glad to get back to work.
Yes thanks i did i went out for birthday tea and got some new man utd clothes.
The step family life is going ok it has it ups and down and settling in,the new partner has just taken a new job and is having to do training around the country (london,leeds,Newcastle) for 8 weeks its the career she has always wanted to do so were all supporting her at the moment.
Yes, it does have its ups and downs, especially with children from different birth families living together. That sounds fab about your partner's career and I am sure she loves it that you are supportive of that.....how about your own work, are you happy where you are?
Interesting bit of info I heard yesterday from a woman who supports step families and blended step families (ie yours!)
The step parent should not discipline the other children for 4 years into the relationship. It takes that long for a child to accept, trust, love and respect another adult into their immediate life.
Just thought I would pass that on!
Hello Ladies
My work yes i love it but just like a bit more from it.... have been asked if i would like the office managers role when two members of staff retire soon.
My partners career at the moment is hetic as she has to travel the country for training for what is 8 weeks some times with over night stays which we find hard, and yes i support her she didnt want to do it at first as we had just moved in together,but it was a opertunity to good to miss.
My daughter is now looking at her options for when she leaves sixth form,she has been looking at uni courses.
Hi stuart, glad all is going well at work for you as well, so did you accept the promotion?
Works schedules can be a pain on relationships, it's great that you have a positive attitude this will make things easier. Does your daughter have anything specific in mind to do at uni?
Hello Sally
Yes my daughter wants to do a sports coaching degree as she is at the moment doing a sport be-tech course at sixth form.
Yes i have accepted the promotion and looking forward to it.
When all the settling in and training is over we can look a just having a quiet wedding service with me partner and the children (still undecide on how where and when yet)
Congrats on your promotion, Stuart, will it be more hours?
Lots going on in your family at the moment and some big decisions for your daughter
Hello Louise
No the core hours will still be there same just more responabillity and increse in pay.
Yes my home always seams to be busy, but would not have it any other way.
How are all you ladies and gents getting on ?
Hi stuart! Great news about the promotion - great timing too!
All is good here, lots of new people and different stories being shared.
My daughter dropped out of school in January 2nd term into her A Levels, it was all very stressful, but I knew that I just had to trust it was the right thing for her to do. She has done a few courses since and has now started at college and enjoying Media Production, she is a hard worker, but I am surprised how uninterested the other students are, I think she is finding this pretty frustrating as she is aiming for distinctions all the way.
Does your daughter find this?
Hello every how are we all
Just have a little problem any advice welcome.
As you all know my children live here and go and visit mum every other week end and half the holidays.
Has been a constent thorn in my side for the past 5 years and i have logged every threat, harrasment.
Now because she can not claim tax credit she is refusing to return the children after the half term because she can not afford to return them and there due back at school monday.Its in the court order that the collection and return of the children is her responibility.
If i go and collect them its then making a rod for my own back and the childrens that it will continue in the future as you can not reason with a un reasonable person.
Planning to seek leagl help again i think and present all the 5 years worth of contact unreliabillity.
Hi stuart
I totally get what you mean about making a rod for your own back if you set a precedent by collecting them. However, the fact remains that they need to get back and I know their mum has not always cared overmuch about them missing school. I agree you need legal advice but in the short term you may need to collect them or meet them halfway...and think about them going on the train as a possible option, on their own now the oldest is a lot more grown-up...once one is 16 they can get a Family Railcard with them as the adults and the others as children, that is something my boys did.
Do you think their mum would meet you part of the way back?
Hi louise
Theres no chance of them getting the train they have no money remember and they would not get on it anyway theres a 10yo remember.
I have offered to meet have way but still no responce its going to be a trip to the solictors monday and back to court i think hope the 5 year log comes in handy.
If they miss school i will inform the schools thats its a matter for them to deal with mum refusing to get them there.Something needs to be done to stop this nasty crazy woman calling all the shots and basicley doing what ever the feck she wants theres got to be a way to put a stop to this.
Good idea to speak to the school. You also need to speak to the solicitor.
Sorry you thought I meant they should come home on the train, I didn't!!! I meant that is something to think about for the future. My boys did that from being 16 and 11.
You have been more than reasonable in saying you would meet halfway. This will be really upsetting for the children, too.
Hello louise
Low and behold they were returned sunday afternoon with out a text or phone call sayinh they where coming and no communication at the drop off.
I know you did not mean they get the train you was just giving advice and possible solutions.
As for having no money they went shopping all day saturday and pizza hut mmmm how bizzare lol.
Took them all the watch the new james bond on sunday evening nice to have them back and spend quality time with them.
Glad they got home ok! So do you think she was trying it on? How about emailing our Legal Expert to see what to do if a similar thing happens again?
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Good Day ladies
Not been on for a while so sorry hope every one is doing fine.
The children are growing fast, having a little trouble with the oldest teenager though as she is due to leave sixth form soon and was applying to uni and had some responce but now has desided that she dont want to go. Thats fine as i have been talking to her for the past few years what is the rules about turning 18 in my house hold. She refuses to get a part time job and if no uni get a full time one. So she has desided to move to her mums to try and go to college there.
Besides that the rest of us are fine the new partner and her son have settled in nicely.
Hi stuart how great to see you back on here, glad that all is going well with the new partner and her son, but what a shame about your daughter wanting tomove to her mums because she did not want to follow your house rules.
I have said very similair to my son more recently as he is applying for sixth form places, i said that he can do educationally that is what he wants, even if he has to try a few different courses etc, but i was not going to have him sitting around the house doing nothing, i can understand if they can't get employment, but i said that he could still do some voluntary work.
Did you have a good Christmas? Have you had much snow?
Hello Sally
Well my daughter has quiet sixth form with 4 months to go and moved to her mums really disapointed. Its a combination of mum wanting her to go there and daughter wanting a easy life.
Mum has a real nasty desire to have all the children there,even after 5 years there still bitterness.
And daughter playing both parent off tell each one different stories, even though i have residence of the i still feel powerless to proctect them from her till they finish school and then can make there own mind up where they want to live, as then i feel i have done my part in getting them a stable home and education.
But mum just wants them all to live where she is after 5 years of being apart.
What a shame, stuart but I agree with your family rule and I have always had the same one here. They do need to have a work ethic and to understand that they need to earn what they have. Disappointing that she has moved to her mum's but I am thinking it will not be permanent. Very often I have seen this happen, where a teenager moves to live with the "other" parents, often to punish the parent who normally has the day to day care, but they soon find out the grass is not always greener on the other side. Do keep good communications going with her so she always feels that she can talk to you and is welcome back
Hi Louise
I agree with you my daughter has been explained to her for a long time what the house Rules are if your an adult and want to live here. and it does not help when the absent parent is not backing you but undermining you. End of the day I see my daughter as being a young adult and she has been given a easy option and taken it.
it does not help when absent parent is obstructive and wants all the kids to move and live with her have seen evedence off this one one sons phone.
With daughter moving the boys have been move comfortable and are spending more time down stairs with us all you can feel that the tension has gone from the house.
So maybe it is a good thing in some ways, is that the verdict? There is usually good and bad in everything it seems. Important to keep a good relationship with your daughter wherever she is, she is almost 18 now and will soon be living independently anyway.
Hello Louise
Yer the house is a lot calmer with out a moody teenager but the way it happened has upset both me and my partner.Have been told my my daughter that i made her life hell and spoke to her like some thing off the bottom of my shoe, thanks for that after all the past 17 years of supporting her cheers.
They ex partner is now trying to bring my new partner into it by saying she was un supportive of my daughter, do these people ever get a life and get over things ?
This woman is mad and yet can still be disruptive rude a lier and un co-operative and theres nothing you can do about it.
Makes your blood boil some times.
Hi stuart, I can hear how frustrated you are.
It sounds as though you have always put your children first and kept their best interests at the forefront of all your actions, so I am not surprised that you are feeling cheesed off for the lack of thanks or support from your ex (and your daughter!)
Your daughter is a teenager, she is going through an awful lot of emotions, she may well have had her nose put out of joint when your fiancee moved in. But in the long run, she will understand.
Is it possible for you to take your daughter out for a bite to eat one evening? Keeping communication open, if she is feeling hard done by, then all we can do as parents is keep showing that we care, regardless of how they behave.
Hello Anna
Yer i have sugested that and hope she accepts,seeing as shwe is in birmingham and where in preston its going to have to be a weekend, she not happy at the momment as she thinks i treated her badly but was ok to ask for concert tickets for her birth day.
My partner has just had a family bereavement she has just lost her mum so she aint in the best state of mind.
End of the day as you say my daughter is nearly 18 so she can trot off in to the big wide world, but thats not what i believe she is ready for yet some wish her all the luck.
End of the day i gave up plenty at the begining but now have a life of my own and if even the other two decide to go and live with mum when there older i can except that.
Hi stuart, sorry to hear that things are still tense between you and your daughter, hopefully she will except your peace offering and eventually come to understand all that you have done for her.
Also really sorry to hear your partner has lost her mum.
Thanks Sally
I will have to wait and see as now shes with here mum the posion will be every day turning the children against me, will have to wait till my daughter wises up to the mind games.
The children have two loving parents that want them living with them, even though at the start the mum left and said she didnet want them until she had cermented her new relationship.
Never had a penny of maintenace as she is a lady of lesiure and refuses to work to give money for her children, but if the shoe was on the other foot i would have to pay mmmm it stinks but guess ever ones circumstances are different.
Even after 5 years myself and ex can not get on even though i dont want to have any contact bar the childrens contact.
I have seen things written on her face book about getting the children she is hell bent on being distructive not constructive.
Happy days just doing the best i can till there all flown the nest.
Stuart
Hi stuart, it still surprises me, even after all the years that I have worked with single parents and been a single parent myself, just how two people who share the most precious beings in the world are unable to be civil (was going to say to one another, but it is generally only one uncivil participant). It is such a shame as the person that get hurts the most is the one that they both love the most. 
Did your darling daughter get the concert tickets? Perhaps you have to encourage her to meet you at Crewe for the afternoon or somewhere close by, tell her you want to spend some time with her, then you hand them over?!
Hello Stuart
We haven't heard from you in a while and I was wondering how things were with you and the family. Last time we chatted you were settling in with your partner Ok but worried about your daughter as she had gone to live with her mum and been horrid to you. How are things now?
Hello Anna & Louise
I am still alive :) and things are well.
Daughter is settled in with mum and at college, we dont have that close relationship any more but its fine shes a young lady now and is doing things her way.
The two boys are now 14 and 11 both at high school and seam to be going through that swimmingly.
So its just family life and living the dream at the moment.
Happy Days
Stuart
Hello louise
Yer the room is done we are sleeping in it, its so quiet up there. Just got to do the other half install a sofa and tv set in there and its a fully usable quiet room.
Went to the cinem to watch snow white and the huntsman, took g/f son to the beach with a metal detector good fun.
Gutted daugters room got 20bags of old rubbish out of it nightmare.
Stuart