Introduce yourself!

Bubblegum
DoppleMe

Hi, hello, welcome and all that.

Fancy that! by a strange coincidence, I plan on drinking some Rioja this evening. Its Friday, my son is spending the evening with a school friend and I have cunningly spent the last four years training my daughter to be a master of self entertainment, so I shall be free, free, or as my daughter once said much to everyones amusement, 'I'm free, free, free as a grape'

Maybe you had to be there : )

And now I must go and get them from school.

Posted on: May 15, 2009 - 2:29pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Rioja and welcome to One Space, good to have you with us. Please join in the chat or start a thread on a topic that interests you or about which you need some support. Have a good weekend

Louise :)

Hello Bubblegum, I hope you enjoy your glass or three :P I have my eye on a Valpolicella ;) Louise

Posted on: May 15, 2009 - 6:57pm
lemondrop

hi everyone
i have a lovely beautiful baby boy who is almost 21 months , ive been a single parent for a week now!! :)

Posted on: May 16, 2009 - 9:26am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hi lemondrop

A week as a single parent! How's it going? There's so much to be sorting out, isn't there.

I hope you are ok, and the support and advice here is brilliant.

Do take care.

Best wishes

Posted on: May 16, 2009 - 12:03pm
lemondrop

its been very very hard but ive done a week now!! loads to sort out as im a sahm too so i have had alot to get my head around x :D

Posted on: May 16, 2009 - 5:08pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Well done for getting through the week. :)

Posted on: May 16, 2009 - 7:55pm
lemondrop

thankyou :) it can only get easier i guess lol xxx

Posted on: May 17, 2009 - 8:33am
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi lemondrop

Welcome to the boards. WOW, you must still be in shock after being a single parent for such a short time. You're right, there is loads to get your head round, and so much to take in. The main thing is to keep getting support and asking for what you need, and taking care of yourself in all this. Let us know what support we can give

Louise :)

Posted on: May 17, 2009 - 8:57am
shellk

hello all i have just come across here via a link on a blog i was reading
my name is michelle (or you can call me shell like my username) i have one daughter who is 4 and have been a single mummy for about 2 1/2 years

Posted on: May 17, 2009 - 11:17pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello shell

Welcome to One Space, nice to have you here ;) I have sent you a longer message on the "Your story" thread. Please join in the discussions and we look forward to getting to know you

Louise :D

Posted on: May 18, 2009 - 9:31am
Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi everyone! I seemed to have missed lots of new people coming on to the site - apologies, life, work, money, children, the usual excuses. :?

Great to see some new faces/posts!! Hope you find what you are looking for on the site, if not, let us know! Also take time out to complete the Relationships Matter in the Announcements - Get your voice heard!

Speak soon :)

Posted on: May 18, 2009 - 11:45am
afrofunk

Hi i'm afrofunk and mummy to my 1yr old son, i've been a single mum since he was born. I find whether u have been a single parent for a week or x amount of years, it still is'nt easy doing it all by yourself, i think we all deserve a medal!

Posted on: May 18, 2009 - 12:06pm
Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hey afrofunk, I think you are absolutely right, we DO deserve a medal! Its just a shame that the rest of the world don't recognise it! :roll:

Welcome to One Space, I hope you enjoy! :)

Posted on: May 18, 2009 - 1:58pm
michelle

hi im michelle, i have four chrildren daniel 8, charlie 6, megan 4,frankie 21 months, i have been a single mam since frankie was 7 weeks old , :!:

Posted on: May 22, 2009 - 1:35am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

HI Michelle

I have four children - but they're quite "old" :lol: now at 17, 15, 13 and 10. I've been on my own since my youngest was 5.

Posted on: May 22, 2009 - 10:43am
Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi michelle and welcome, you have quite a brood there! ;)

It sounds as if sparklinglime is 10 years ahead of you!! She always has loads of useful tips and experiences that she shares on the site, along with others, so any questions, queries or just a good old moan feel free to share it here!

I hope you enjoy the site! :)

Posted on: May 22, 2009 - 11:15am
justthetruth

Hi, going through the hell of seperation after my wife decided to have a liason with her work colleague, previously widowed.
My boy of 11 and I are being threatened with homelessness, god only knows where it's all going to end up :cry: ...
Scotland.
Any family support group/chat ect info appreciated, local or otherwise. Cheers.

Posted on: May 23, 2009 - 6:28pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hi

I'm so sorry that you're facing the prospect of homelessness. My children and I were declared homeless after my landlord sold our home to be a holiday house! I know its horrid and my heart goes out to you and your son.

I hope that it doesn't get to this stage.

I was lucky in that a friend's husband who worked within social housing became my Advocate - couldn't speak for myself as I was too preoccupied with crying. Everyone I met was helpful and very sympathetic. We were homeless for just over two months. We were lucky as we did fall on our feet being given a housing association home.

You will certainly find support here.

I was married for 20 years, and had to loose the family home to pay off ex's almost £50k of debt, so having to move so soon after that was really hard on the children.

We have survived though, and my children love it here and now seem settled and happy.

My very best wishes to you and your son.

Posted on: May 23, 2009 - 11:36pm
Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi justthetruth

Difficult times for you and your son, have a look on our homepage at the Advice Finder, I have had a quick look in Scotland:

http://advicefinder.onespace.org.uk/?filter0=380&filter2=3&filter3=&op=Search&q=directory-results&form_id=Directory_search_form

It would be better if you refined your search to your area, but hopefully you will find a number of organisations that can tell you what support there is local for you.

You will get through this, we are here as well, feel free to have a rant/moan online. You will always get a friendly response. :)

Posted on: May 24, 2009 - 8:55am
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello justthetruth and welcome to One Space.

It's early days for you and your boy but you must feel very isolated right now. :( In fact 10% of lone parents are dads but this is not always reflected in the support services available. There is lots of friendly support here from parents from all walks of life. You might also like to look at
http://dads-uk.co.uk/main/news.php for some specific online information.

Keep posting!

Louise :)

Posted on: May 24, 2009 - 11:42am
MAYJACK

Hi im Mayjack
I have one son he is 17 months I have been a single parent since his first birthday

Posted on: May 24, 2009 - 12:27pm
petrie

HI i'm petrie, am single parent with two children who have left home. why do i need this site u asked, because one of my children is quite abusive. Unfortunatley quite dangerously abusive. She's angry, possesive, violent physically or through third parties via intimidation, very complex and challenging.

But we love each other although i honestly would like to run. I'v decided to look at my self and any possible fallout from my sometimes destructive behaviour and so i've joined a 12 step healthy relationship group.

What i will learn will take some time to implement wholly in my relationship with my daughter. I heard abuse from children to mothers is on the increase. I'v talked to a social worker who basically said - there are no excuses that are acceptable, she has to take responsibility for her own actions.

I 'm slowly changing and its showing everywhere accept where my daughters' barriers are concerned. She's brilliant in her life but when she visits she drives everyone away so she can be abusive (8+yrs this has been going on for now). I worry about how this spills in to her relationship with her husband but i'm learning that its her worry not mine.

Very emotionally tired. Ive read posts and replies and feel relieved that this site was created.

Posted on: May 24, 2009 - 9:47pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hi petrie

I hope she learns to control this abuse. It's good you're taking positive steps in trying to help the situation.

I have a foster sister who's 49 who'll take her frustrations out on me. Now it's verbal on the phone, but was physical when we were growing up. She feels that she is very much a victim in everything that has happened.

Best wishes.

Posted on: May 25, 2009 - 11:50am
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello Mayjack

Welcome to One Space! I imagine a 17 month old will keep you on your toes, they are into everything at that age. Feel free to join in the discussions or start your own topic.

Hope you are having a good Bank Holiday?

Louise :D

Posted on: May 25, 2009 - 1:46pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello petrie, you are welcome.

Violence in the family is never easy, whatever its source and I am glad you have found a helpful programme to assist you. You have a right to be unmolested in your own home (or anywhere!) and in your home, your rules must always apply. If your daughter finds things very difficult then it may well be that you can say you do not want her to visit until she has completed an anger management programme (The GP can refer her to an appropriate counsellor) Sometimes violence from child to parent happens because there is more general anger around and she may feel "safe" to take it out on you. That's not acceptable and you must take care of yourself, come on the boards for support anytime

Bets wishes

Louise :)

Posted on: May 25, 2009 - 1:51pm
Livy's Mama

Hi i'm Livy's mama. I have one little girl aged nearly 14 months. I have been a single parent since she was 5 months old so nearly 9 months now.

Posted on: May 26, 2009 - 2:48pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello Livy's mama and welcome to the boards :) Hope you are enjoying this busy time in your little girl's life, despite the struggles you have been through and continue to go through. I have a grand-daughter of 16 months and I know how lively they can be at this age! Do join in the chats, it's good to have you aboard

Louise ;)

Posted on: May 26, 2009 - 4:09pm
ecoknits

Hi, I'm Kris and mom to three girls, 9, 7 and 5, and a 2 year old boy. I'm newly single, still going through the wringer of sorting out which stuff belongs to who and trying to find answers for the kids. You can't tell them their dad is having a midlife crisis can you?

Any pointers towards websites that tell me what I'm supposed to do next ie, legal, financial, gratefully received! :)

K x

Posted on: June 5, 2009 - 9:31pm
Bubblegum
DoppleMe

SOLICITOR!!!!

:)

Just thought I'd say that.

That's what you need though no matter how amicable things seem to be going.

But for everything else Citizens Advise Bureau, when I was first on my own with my two they actually came to me house : ) talked to me about money, myself, my kids, how to deal with everything and lots more. I don't know if its standard for all CAB offices but mine had a single parent specialist...

I wonder if there is an actual course to go with that: ) ?

Posted on: June 5, 2009 - 9:44pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hi Kris

As Bubblegum says, it is wise to go via a Solicitor if you can.

There's loads of support on here too.

Looking forward to getting to know you.

Best wishes

Posted on: June 5, 2009 - 10:20pm
Bubblegum
DoppleMe

Seriously, get a solicitor, now! get it down on paper so to speak, now! That way, and call me cynical, but! when they turn round in a few months/weeks/what ever time and say, no I didn't say, do that, this, or what ever... you will then have something to stand up with : )

Trust me, people lie : )

Posted on: June 5, 2009 - 11:23pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello ecoknits and welcome to One Space :D

You do need to think about getting the best deal for you and the kids right now and this does involve legal advice. Go to http://www.clsdirect.org.uk/en/directory/directorysearch.jsp to look for a legal adviser in your area.

There is also lots of information on the homepage here under the "Info Library" section on the left hand menu and look at http://yorkseparatedfamilies.jimdo.com/advice/leaflets/ to download a selection of helpful, free leaflets.

In the meantime, there is lots of support here. Do join in the threads!

Louise :)

Posted on: June 6, 2009 - 1:50pm
beckyb

Hi im beckyb and I have 1 daughter aged 3 and a half and I have been a single parent for 3 years x

Posted on: June 6, 2009 - 7:46pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hi Beckyb

Good to see you've found the board. Hopefully you'll find some good compny, advice and support.

Posted on: June 6, 2009 - 7:54pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello Beckyb and welcome to these boards and groups. Hope you get a lot of information and support.

You have coped with your daughter on your own for most of her life and as well as getting support for you, you may also be able to help others who are just starting out on this road, please do join in the threads and make your voice heard!

very best wishes

Louise :)

Posted on: June 7, 2009 - 8:50am
newby34

hi im newby34 im 34 and a single mum to my daughter who is 8 months. ive been a single parent for just 3 months now.

Posted on: June 7, 2009 - 10:04pm
Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi newby34 and welcome to One Space, how are you enjoying single parenthood? Did you know it was coming? Was it your choice? How are you coping with it?

Look forward to speaking with you :)

Posted on: June 8, 2009 - 9:39am
Bubblegum
DoppleMe

I love being a single parent : )

I get to make all the decisions, my kids generally don't actually listen to me but at least I get to make the decisions all on my own and feel important.

: )

Just thought I'd share one of the many benefit of being a single parent, when I think of some more I'll share those too.

There are some more I assure you, maybe someone should make a list.

: )

Posted on: June 8, 2009 - 10:34am
Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hey bubblegum,

There IS a list! I have just bumped the topic in the 'Just for Fun' group, have a read through and add some of your own. Please remember though it is not a man hating exercise, it just so happens that most of the single parents are women.

:D But I am sure you are well used to that by now :)

Posted on: June 8, 2009 - 10:59am
Mumof2girls

Hi I am mumof2girls, as from my username you can guess i have two beautiful girls 21 months and 9 months old. My husband walked out on us two weeks ago after a few very hard months of him lying and stealing from me and my family. There is no going back this time.

Posted on: June 9, 2009 - 7:29pm
Bubblegum
DoppleMe

Anna wrote:
There IS a list! I have just bumped the topic in the 'Just for Fun' group, have a read through and add some of your own. Please remember though it is not a man hating exercise, it just so happens that most of the single parents are women.

:D But I am sure you are well used to that by now :)

Funny you should say that : ) But here is a thing, I generally get one of two responses from girls or women before they actually get to know me. There is the the ohhh isn't he wonderful doing all that on his own, or I get the feeling that they think I must be doing something wrong as this is a job for women only and how can a man do it.

: )

I've been on quite a few courses and group things for single parents over the last four years and I do generally have to work harder at making friends with the single mothers who have had a hard time with their x partners : ) And I have found that a lot of the women I meet cannot get past the hurdle of thinking I am only after seducing them.

Later : )

Posted on: June 10, 2009 - 7:31am
Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Yeah, I guess it must be tricky. I know that I have been guilty in the past of looking at a man pushing a buggy and going 'Ahh, isn't he great!' Although I now I have grown older and wiser, and recognise that 'Ahh ALL single parents are great!'

I think single mums create quite a strong bond pretty quickly between each other, so when they meet a single dad, it can seem a little un-nerving for them perhaps? That you can talk and share experiences, but you are a ......man!

I do think its SO good for women who have been in difficult relationships and have issues with men, to be around 'decent' men to learn that 'you' are not all the same. So keep up the good work! I suppose the same goes vice versa? I think everyone we meet when we are single, we assess what are good qualities and what aren't so great.

Also wanted to add that a girl friend of mine was raised by her dad alone and she is the grooviest girl (woman) I know, she doesn't succumb to b*tching, gossip or tale telling, she is down to earth and balanced! And I am sure it is because she has grown up with predominately testosterone beliefs :?

Anyway, both men and women can do the job of parenting, whether it is done well or not is down to the individual.

Posted on: June 10, 2009 - 1:10pm
multey65

hi i am multey 65 i have 3 children two boys and one girl age are 11/9/6. this sunday there is a fun day celebrating refugee week there will be dance /music /art it stars at 1.00 at 1.30opening ceremony tibetan monk. look to do drumming workshops this is free event at queen sq bristol bs14gbtime 1-till8pm

Posted on: June 12, 2009 - 11:48am
Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi multey, welcome to One Space, thanks for the info on Refugee Week celebrations in Bristol on Sunday. Are you going? I hope you and your children enjoy it!

Look forward to speaking more.

Posted on: June 12, 2009 - 2:08pm
cookiewave

hi my username is cookiewave, i have 4 children, 27,26,24,and 15 3 boys ,1 girl, single 6 years

Anna wrote:
Hi there, welcome to our site, please introduce yourself!

What is your username?
How many children do you have?
How old are they?
Are they boys or girls?
How long have you been a single parent?

(No conversations here please, just a useful tool for us to make friends and share a little about us and our families!)

Posted on: June 12, 2009 - 4:06pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello cookiewave it is good to see you posting :D It sounds as if you have some solid parenting experience to draw on there and it would be great if you could join in the threads to give your views or you are welcome to access support for yourself too

best wishes

Louise ;)

Posted on: June 12, 2009 - 4:23pm
lilphyl

Hi everyone, i'm lilphyl, mum to 3 boys 12,13 and 18, single mum for 9 years

Posted on: June 14, 2009 - 7:47pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hi lilphyl
Great to 'see' you here'.

Posted on: June 14, 2009 - 9:39pm
daddyrory

hi, my username is daddyrory
i have 3 boys aged 1,3 and 10 (very soon to be 2,4 and 11)
i have been a single parent for 2 months now after suddenly being widowed
i felt it is now time to talk to new people about me and my family

Posted on: June 15, 2009 - 10:09am
Bubblegum
DoppleMe

Hi!

More single dads, I like it : )

I have a daughter 4 and a son 6 we've been a one parent family for just over four years and it's great : )

Posted on: June 15, 2009 - 10:19am