Hi all and WELCOME!
I was away over the weekend and its great to 'see' so many new faces, I am sure we will have some interesting discussions, with such a huge amount of children between us!
Look forward to your experiences, stories and joys of the BEST JOB IN THE WORLD. Whether we have chosen it for ourselves or life has just dealt it to us that way.
Hi. I'm Ifyouseeher, I'm 19 (so still a baby myself) and have a beautiful 4 month old baby girl.
I've only recently become a single parent having left a 4 year long, very controlling relationship.
Struggling a little but am ready to take whatever life throws at me. =D
Hiya Ifyouseeher, I love your philosophy of whatever life throws at you! There is plenty to come! But hopefully from what you have experienced now, the future can only be golden!! :D
I bet it feels great to be feel freedom again after 4 years??
Welcome, I look forward to talking to you :)
My username is Me and the boy. I am 25 and I have one son who will be 2 in 5 weeks! I have been a single parent since i told his dad i was pregnant.
Hi all...Im melanie..username is speedbird. I have one 13yr old son, been a single parent for 12 years now.
Hope to chat sometime! :)
I have been a single parent since i told his dad i was pregnant.
Hi : )
Don't take this the wrong way but that made me laugh : )
Good for you and unlucky him : )
(him being the idiot who ran away when you got pregnant)
later.
Welcome to speedbird and Me and the boy
It is great that you have joined us and I hope you join in the threads and get to know a few people...there is a lot of support here and I am sure you will have a lot to contribute. Look forward to gettting to know you both better
Louise :)
Hi Me and the boy and speedybird, very nice to see new faces! :lol:
I hope you are well and looking forward to the weekend ahead, do you have any plans??
Hello
I am new to this site but not single parenthood.
I am 40 years old single mother to a lovely 8 year old boy. Two years ago I discovered a lump in my left breast and it turned out to be cancer and I had to go through hell and back but I have survived to tell the tell and how my life has changed. My son who has been amazing really did get me through it. He has been my rock.
We live in South East London near Blackheath.
Are there any single parents in this area with children my sons age or even older or younger that would like to get together.
Sally
Hi Sally
I hope you get some responses from people near to you, although I can also recommend netmums.co.uk.
Welcome to One Space! There is some great support here. You must have been worried sick going through your illness and thinking about the future, especially where your boy is concerned. That's great that he has helped you through :D I am glad to see you coming out the other side and hope you are now feeling well (although I know maybe never the same again?)
Take care
Louise
Hi there HappySally, welcome, I hope you find this site useful and friendly. :)
You might want to add a post to Local Info requesting friends in your area?
Look forward to talking to you on other threads :)
Hello. I'm AccidentalTourist. Seems a while since new members have posted a hello; hope I'll start a trend. I am 46 years old and have been a lone parent for 4 years; my son is 11 and my daughter is 5. I enjoyed and am inspired by some of the stuff I've read on here and plan to pass it on. Nice to see that good sense still exists! Thanks for this.
Hello Accidental Tourist and you are very welcome here! I am glad you have found the site useful and look forward to getting to know you as you join in some of the topics. You have the same age gap beteen your kids as me; I really liked there being a bit bigger gap as it was like having two "first" children. Was this your experience?
Take care :D
Hello i'm Corinne
I have one little girl Ava she is 5 months old. I have been a single parent since 7 months pregnant or conception depending on how you look at things.. its complicated!
Hi, welcome Corinne, how are you finding single parenthood, sure it is hard, but are you enjoying it.
I think being single before the baby is born means that as emotional and lonely as it can be, at least we know where we stand.
Does your ex see his daughter? Do you have an amicable relationship now?
Hi i'm Katie, I am 29 and have a 2 year old son. I have been a single mum now for roughly 18 months.
Hi Kate : )
Hi kitkat29, like your name!! How are you enjoying those terrible twos, are they happening or do you think it is society's idea of a joke to scare mums all over the country! ;)
Hi all, i am a newbie, Kezee. I have a beautiful little girl is is almost 4. I have been a single parent since she was 6 months old. Lookig forward to meeting some other single parents on here :) xx
Hello kezze, you are very welcome to One Space! Looking forward to getting you know you a little better and hoping you will join in some of the chats. Do you think being a lone parent has got a bit easier as you have gone along?
Louise :)
Hi kezze, looking forward to getting to know you and sharing the highs and lows of single parenthood! :)
Hi! I'm Kate, 28. I have a daughter called Holly, 4. I've been a single parent for a year.
Hi! I'm Kate, 28. I have a daughter called Holly, 4. I've been a single parent for a year.
Hi Kate
Lovely to see you here. I've got four children 17, 15, 13 and 10. I've been on my own for 5 years :D
Hello Kate
Thanks for posting and welcome to the boards, I hope you find some new online friends here. Please join in any of the threads or start one of your own if there's something you would like to discuss
Take care
Louise :)
Hi Kateshine, great you found us!
My best friend in school was called Holly, I love that name! I hope you enjoy the boards, look forward to getting to know you.
[=#008080]Hello!
Mum to two boys aged 7 and 9. Newly divorced after ex decided marriage was over. Recently moved house for a fresh start. Still smiling, but find it really hard at times. ;)
Looking forward to making new friend through this site! We live in North Wales where everyone knows everyone - honest!!!
Hi and welcome! We have a few people from Wales online, I hope that you make some friends and find the boards useful, please feel free to ask any questions or have a moan if you want!
Keep smiling! :)
Hi mama i ddau
Croeso!!
I'm a North Walian... :)
Gosh you've really lost me now........ :lol:
sorry - croeso is welcome...
hi :D
im new, im 2boysmum.
im 26, i have 2 boys 2yrs and 6mths. i have been separeted for 6mths :( , and have just filled for divorce.
sorry - croeso is welcome...
and Mama i ddau = mum of two, or mum to two : ) I think.
Hello 2 boys mum, nice to "see" you here, you are very welcome. Sounds as if you have some rough times at the moment if you are going through the divorce processes, not easy or quick :( There's lots of support here and please join in what 's going on.
Louise :D
Ok you two bi-lingual peeps, I am dead impressed....... :roll:
Hi my names julesgee I am 40 and have 2 sons aged 12 and nearly 3. I have been single for 12 months following a relationship which was violent. I left my partner in July and he stalked me and broke into my house in September and tried to murder me, he used a hammer and left me with fractured skull and slit my throat. I am a positive person but am finding it really hard to move on my self esteem is shattered and I am acting out of character and seem to hbe hel bent on destuction(of myself) Can anybody tell me if this is normal after such a traumatic break up. I adore my boys however my eldest has jst toild me he wants to live with his father full time and i am devestaed.
hello julesgee
Firstly you are welcome and I am glad you found your way here :D Hope you will join in, find support and some new friends as well.
What a terrible year you have had! Your self confidence must have been shattered with all that went on. Have you had any proper support through Women's Aid? or do you think seeing a counsellor would help you recover from this trauma? Have you heard of the Freedom Programme? Have a look at this website http://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/freedomprogramme/index.cfm to see what is running in your area. From the reports I have heard, it can really, really help. There is also a thread about it on these boards; please look at the "Relationships and You" section for a thread called "Freedom Programme"
I am not surpised you are so upset that your elder boy may want to go and live with his dad. It's quite "natural" in a lad this age to identify more with dad than with mum but that's not very helpful to you! I wonder if one of the aspects to this is that he not so much wants to be with dad as to get away from the situation at home, where-as the eldest- he might feel he has to be a bit "responsible" in the family. I say this because I know that's what happened to my elder boy and he felt mightily relieved when I was able to take the adult reins from him and he felt more secure. Just a thought ;) and maybe as you start to feel better yourself then he will settle down too
best wishes
Louise
Hi my name is staceyl, I have one girl who is 5½ years old and I have been a single parent for 5½ years!
Hi everyone nice to meet you! :)
Good luck 2boysmum with divorce procedings, not a nice time for you, I hope that you are being kind to yourself and treating yourself to lots of pampering?!
Julesgee, as you yourself recognise you have been through a very traumatic breakup, it is no wonder you are feeling all over the place, not only with the fear and apprehension you would feel after such a vicious attack, but also the pain of the breakdown of your relationship and becoming a single parent. Life has thrown an awful lot at you recently.
I am presuming as this is such an extreme case that you are involved with Womens Aid, if not, you must contact them right away. They will give you direction and very specific support in your local area. Call free on 0808 2000 247. You can also always call the Samaritans when times are feeling particularly difficult, say in the middle of the night. Reach out as much as you can.
Your son is probably hugely upset over what his father has done, but is desperate to see that you are ok and strong and will live/survive through this/handle the situation. If he sees you wobbly, this will scare him and might think that he would feel safer (inside) at his dads. Which would be a disaster for him to be around such a violent man. He needs counselling, support and understanding too.
Please keep in touch and let us know how you are and whats going on. :)
Hi staceyl, you have a good few years experience of single parenthood! What do you make of it? Do you enjoy? Let us know on other threads, look forward to chatting with you. :)
hi
yes i do recognise it was slightly more traumatic than some breakups however i feel like i must tell people im ok and over it despite feeling far from it. have I am juts going back to gain further counselling from Sefton Womens Aid. I went for counselling and had 2 sessions but i feel now so engulfed that i need to gain more support.
My son who is 11 is to my first husnadbn who is a nice man despite marrying my ex best friend and next door neighbour shes very manipulating and has caused masses of problems shes now manioutlated tom into mocing in woth them as she has the abiloity to buy affection. The mediator we saw called her actions towads me provocative and she really is so nasty and causes lots of problems for me. I have ason AJ to my violent exwho is nearly 3 he never asks about his father. I do recognise the wobbly thing i fear tom may see me as acting out of course and thats and the constant manipulation and bad mouthing of me by his step mother has caused this reaction.
|I have contacted SWACA today and have been offered a counselling appointment as a matter of emergency next week so I am really glad about this as i feel its a positive step in the right direction. Thank you for your reply x
Report this postReply with quoteRe: Introduce yourself!
by Louise on Wed Jul 01, 2009 1:53 pm
hello Louise thank you for your reply.
|I have had 2 counselling sessions at Sefton Womns aid and today have rang them to tell themi am not coping i go back to start again next weeek.i have not heard of the freedom prog but i will check out the link thanks for this x
I am so grateul re the responsible adult thing for tom i think thats just whats the problem well that and his nasty stepmother who has cajoled him and maniputlated him in the extreme. hopefully once i am more happy with myself and try and regainsome self esteem he will be more comfortable around me. i think hes just having a paddy and wants some attentions whoch he fights hard to get from his dad due to his new over bearing wife.
I have today made some decisions and taken some positive steps to change my life and the lack of confidence and self esteem i have after the event so hopefully finding people on here who can identify with my feelings will also help
\julie x
That's great julesgee,(TRUMPET FANFARE!!!!!! :P), you have to keep moving forward if you can, and the counselling will really help you. One of your biggest motivations will be your elder lad, to get strong again for him, as Anna says :) Try and give him what reassurance you can, even at this stage. Things like "Sorry I am not at my best Tom, it is just because of what has happened, I am getting much stronger now, it just takes a bit of time, I do love you so much"
I am not surprised you are feeling engulfed, quite apart from the legacy of the violent relationship in general, extreme incidents will leave you with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which needs special help from a counsellor. The theory behind PTSD is that the " event" is so dreadful, it is so far out the "norm" that our mind has to play it over and over in an attempt to make sense of it......and that's when we can feel engulfed.
Do keep posting so that we can all support you through this, and take good care of yourself
Louise ;)
thak you Louise to be honest i felt rather stupid still feeling i wasnt over it as its 10 moths since the attack but the legacy still effects me ire being made bankcrupt, i lost a tooth during attack ao hae to havesurgery on my mouth and i just feel i cannot have any kind of relationship with anyone as as soon as sombody trued to get close or does something nice im looking for the reason they are doing it i think living with such a vile and evil man who would stop at nothing to gain his own ends (judges description at trial)has damaged my perception of peopel so badly i have become so paranoid and scared of hidden meanings. i feel a bit like im gong uts so its really nice to chat x
You're not being stupid, 10 months is hardly any time at all. I was raped when I was 8 years old and I'm still not fully over it. Being attacked by someone you trusted is one of those things I think will always leave some effect on you, the trick is learning to deal with it. It's something that has happened in the past, something you had no control over and by not allowing it to control your future, you've won.
There are plenty of wonderful, agenda free men out there (I've met at least one and I left him because he was "too nice." Silly me.) Try to stop looking for the reasons and just enjoy life, god knows I'm sure you need it after having such a terrible time.
I know that I've offered hardly any constructive advice and it's all commonsense but maybe seeing it written down has helped. I don't know. I prefer seeing things in black and white. I find it helps to make more sense of everything.
ifyouseeher
thankyou i do takestrength from your response i was feeling so isolated and alone but this is really heping me understand how imfeel in normal after such an event thank you for taking time out to respond x
I agree, 10 months is nothing and you are not stupid. These events may well affect you for life but your task for now is to find a way to cope and to look to a happy future :)
If you see her, I am sorry to hear about what happened to you.....HUG from me.
Ah it's something that happened in my past. Barely bothers me anymore, can't change it. I did all the fretting years ago. I'm just glad I have my health and my little girl.
Ok "if you see her" but these things are never easy and thank you for sharing your view on here, to help julesgee :)
candle
im colin single dad who has 4 boys i look after them full time
all boys
they are 2 then 4 in oct 6 in sept and 7 in aug
been single for 1 year
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
It is good to 'see' you here.
My very best wishes