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Everyday Assertiveness

Welcome to Everyday Assertiveness

This course is a mixture of pages to read and tasks to do. It works best if you take your time over it. As you learn new techniques, try them out in your daily life before returning to do the next part of the course.

The examples used in this course are aimed at single parents, but this course is suitable for anyone wanting to learn how to be more assertive.

Even if the idea of being assertive makes you feel nervous, keep with us and you will find that there are real benefits.

Everyday Assertiveness Worksheet

You will learn more on this course if you record your answers. We have provided a worksheet for you to use, but you can create your own document or write your answers on paper if you prefer.

Choose the file type that is best for your computer/device (right-click to download): Everyday Assertiveness Worksheet (Microsoft Word version)Everyday Assertiveness Worksheet (Rich Text Format)Everyday Assertiveness Worksheet (Plain Text version)

Let’s get started!

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    1. Assertiveness and you

    What does “assertiveness” mean? Oliver Twist in Charles Dickens’ story wasassertive enough to ask for more food If we look in the dictionary, “to assert” means “To state a fact or belief with confidence”.… Read more

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    2. Making changes

    If assertiveness is difficult for you, you may find that many of the things you find difficult in life are linked to a lack of assertiveness. In your worksheet, answer each of these five… Read more

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    3. How does it feel?

    How does it feel to be assertive? What do assertive people believe about themselves? Here is a list of “assertive rights”. Print them out (here is our printable version) if you can and remind yourself… Read more

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    4. Assertiveness, passive, aggressive or manipulative?

    Broadly speaking, the way you respond to a situation can be Assertive, Manipulative, Passive or Aggressive. Any of these methods may achieve the results you want, but some of them cause problems later on!… Read more

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    5. Self confidence and self esteem

    In the last exercise, did you spot some of the ways you communicate? Are you sometimes aggressive or passive or manipulative? If you are feeling a bit nervous about what might happen when you… Read more

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    6. Saying “no”

    Many of the world’s woes are caused by people saying yes when they should have said no! Worry, exhaustion, overwork, letting people down, anger, a lack of pride, spoilt brats… Passive people find it… Read more

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    7. Saying “no” in your life

    Making No mean No! Are there any things in your life that you are agreeing to do which you think should not be your responsibility or are causing you harm? Write them in the… Read more

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    8. Assertive body language

    There is more to you than a brain! Communication is not just the words you say: Your whole body communicates your feelings and state of mind. This is known as body language and it… Read more

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    9. Negotiation

    There is more to assertiveness to than saying “no"! And you can’t expect to get anything and everything you want just by asking for it in a calm assertive way. The three line method… Read more

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    10. Listening and “feedback filters”

    When people talk to us, we have a kind of “inner translator” that processes the message. Like the game of Chinese Whispers, sometimes the real message doesn’t get through. If you have low self… Read more

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    11. The bad translator

    When people speak to you Your “inner translator” might beup to some devilish tricks! Remember the bad translator we mentioned on the last page? The good news is that we have time on our… Read more

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    12. Feedback: making it work

    This last section is to develop your giant-killer skills, for all those times when you wish you could make a complaint, or tell someone how you feel or what you think. Here are two… Read more

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    13. Let’s go!

    Well done for getting to the end! Let’s go out there and use our new assertiveness skills! Here are some final tasks for you as you set off into a more assertive and confident… Read more