Am I going Mad ? | One Space

bourne

Hi, My name is Steve im 41 and a single Dad. I live on my own now but see my youngest daughter who is two and a half every wednesday overnight and every saturday 7pm to monday morning. I split up from my wife recently after six and a half years of a very difficult relationship. Now i love to have my daughter over but when shes not there i dont know what to do with myself. I roam from room to room washing pots, i go into another room and play a little guitar, then im up again shortly after roaming into the kitchen, living room watch a film, off i go again and so on.
I have good family and freinds but they all have partners and i hate to intrude on their lives. I have many interests Art Galleries,Travel, Photography,Cooking, Music, I do Martial arts and go to the Gymn. i Dont drink or smoke.
So i think im quite a normal sort of guy, non confrontational, easy going. Now i dont mind being alone and im very independent. Id like to meet a nice woman of course but ive convnced myself to focus on my job, my daughter, my house.
Oh and keeping myself fit and healthy.

My question is this (sorry about the rambling i was trying to give you a picture of who iam), does anyone else find themselves roaming from room to room for no apparent reason or am i going mad ??

Now ive got to go to boots to buy some swim nappies as i take my little girl swimming on a sunday.

Id be interested in some opinions, but be honest if im going mad tell me!. Thanks for reading my message, its my first one so i dont quite know if im doing this right. Thanks anyway. Bye.

Posted on: August 1, 2009 - 3:16pm

Pansy

Hi Steve,
really glad you decided to post here. It does not sound like you are going mad to me! It has got to be perfectly natural to roam around the house not knowing what you are doing. you are having to adapt to being on your own. How long ago did you part from your wife? It takes along time to adjust to a new way of life.
I am really glad to hear you are able to see your youngest daughter, have you older children too?
sorry about all the questions, don't answer if you dont want to.
Many of us on here have poured our hearts out on here, but not everyone chooses to & that is fine, & some may not need to either if their circumstances are different. I am sure you will soon adapt to your new life & I bet some of the men on here will have wiser words than me, maybe Sy or bubblegum ?
Paula

Posted on: August 1, 2009 - 3:57pm

zane26

Hi borne

I'm Gemma my hubby left me after 8years 5 weeks ago and i have two kids. I totally understand how you feel. I will make a cuppa sit down then get up and go clean the kitchen or something forgetting the cuppa. I don't sleep at the moment so spend the night in and out of bed. I go to bed find i can't sleep and go do something to be back in bed an hour later. Nothing keeps my focus for long it's all become mundane, but without it what do we do? Sit and think, and we all know how bad that can be.

Anyway i'm sure someone with be alone soon who can help you better than me. Untill then welcome to the site

Hugs Gemma xx

Posted on: August 1, 2009 - 4:00pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

People who are going through the same thing are the best help of all, Gemma ;)

hi Steve

Welcome to One Space, glad you have found us, there are plenty on online friends here for you. When I was first a single parent, I would stay in the same room but I would PACE.. I never liked sitting down, even in company, I would stride up and down. I think it got on peoples' nerves :oops: But then gradually I calmed down. Your moving from room is a sign of your restlessness and not quite knowing what to do with yourself. It will take a while to get used to a new way of life, I guess.

That's great that you have time with your daughter and I do hope you enjoy your swim tomorrow. Is it a special family session or one with floats? I bet it will be noisy in there with all the children!

Please do keep posting, we all support each other and give each other a boost when we can :)

Posted on: August 1, 2009 - 4:20pm

bourne

Thanks. The split was about 5 weeks ago but it was "On the card's". I had to call it a day whilst knowing id be sacrificing time with my daughter, the hardest decision i ever made in my life.

My eldest is 19 and i brought her up on my own from age of five, she lives in her own house now and im in regular contact. Her sister my "Middle " Daughter lives with her mum and again she is in touch regularly.

Paulasgems I dont mind the questions, im very open and honest even if i have to critiscise myself. I appreciate your response and Talking does help, Maybe im anxious at what the future holds being 41 and in this position isnt easy on the mind, maybe my weakness is just that.Thanks.x

Gemma thanks , i can print that off and stick it on the fridge to proove to myself maybe im not mad. But yes im doing the same as you. I dont know your circumstances but i expect your going through a difficult time. Although i knew i had to make the decision its still difficult, I keep doing stupid things like running a bath and forgetting ive run it, putting my washing in the cooker (almost did). Thanks again and hope things get easier for you.x

Louise thanks for the welcome, im quite surprised anyone replied but glad they did, I must be restless like you all said.
I know sometimes too that the picking up and dropping off can be an anxious time for single parents as you have to face your ex, so i do understand that all these factors dont make life easy. I have to pick my little girl up in two hours and it makes me uneasy but ive made the right decision its the emotional conflicts it can cause that play havoc with your life.

I may find some good freinds on this site and talking really helps. Thank you all so much.

Posted on: August 1, 2009 - 4:43pm

bourne

Just realised i cant stick anything on the fridge as i have no fridge magnets !, and yes Louise its a swimming lesson her first so she may be a bit scared. thanks.

Posted on: August 1, 2009 - 4:46pm

Pansy

Steve,
if you look in the divorse & seperation section on the board list you will find alot of threads from us, some of us who also have only split between 3-6 wks ago. Some worth a look at are hello, the rant room, & others! I split almost 5 wks ago myself now & have found tremendous support from people here!
keep posting :D
Paula

Posted on: August 1, 2009 - 6:49pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

And PS Steve, treat yourself to a couple of fridge magnets, you could find ones that give out funny or positive messages to make you smile....Also the "hello" thread is where a lot of the day to day chat goes on. You will find it in the Introduce Yourself section, which is the first section on the board index :)

Posted on: August 1, 2009 - 7:44pm

Anna

Parenting specialist

Hi bourne

Welcome to One Space, how did the swimming go? What are your handovers like? Are they passive or confrontational? Just as everyone else has said, all this will just take a bit of time to adjust to. It sounds as if you have plenty of hobbies to keep you going!

You mention that your friends all have partners, so you don't want to intrude in their lives, but you know they might appreciate a little intrusion?! :) A break from the norm to join in with one of your hobbies??

We should never second guess our friends, and as I have said before on these forums, couples are very rarely as happy as we 'imagine' them to be. If we are feeling low then we think everyone else has got their lives sorted and I don't believe that is necessarily true.

So have a lads night, round at yours or out and about. Invite all your friends and find out what days they are free for other activities.

Good luck! Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. :D

Posted on: August 5, 2009 - 1:14pm

bourne

Hi Anna,

The swimming went well and apart from stubbing my toe it was event free. Lots of fun.

The pick ups are uncomfortable for me as i always feel akward for other people as well as myself. It must be much harder for others though, especially when theres a new partner around. I have one big story to tell and although im not perfect i went through hell. Its nice to be able to talk to people who understand.

There are many people who probably will waste their entire life being with someone that doesnt give much in return, it takes courage to make that move. My "I am going mad post" helped me to share my current state of mind. Now i can embrace the extra time and be productive. I now have a new worry about my future life on my own. Some people are lucky to find someone who appreciates them i feel i have a lot to give but it will go to waste. I think i better buy a pet cat.

I had a cat called nemo once but he left me to live next door, the neighbours had a huge open fire and he decided that was the place for him!

Anyway im rambling on as usual, thanks for reading my post.

As for a night out with the lads, Im not a lad bloke if that makes sense. I do socialise and can mix with anyone but im more of a go and see a band play, movies, etc...

Now its raining and i have to get my jeans in

Posted on: August 6, 2009 - 7:00pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hi again bourne

Good to hear from you. Yes those handovers can be awkward..... :oops: But you're right, so often people stay together for the flimsiest of reasons.

The energy and the "lots to give" is a normal feeling and you can put this into projects you like, whether this is music or a new pet. I have heard it said that we cannot choose to own a cat, it can only choose to own US so maybe that is what happened with Nemo. In time you may feel ready for a new relationship but as has been said before, you need to feel happy in yourself first :)

I agree with Anna that your friends will still be glad to hear from you even if they are in relationships, give it a try!

Posted on: August 6, 2009 - 7:29pm

bourne

Hi Louise nice to hear from you again.

I put my jeans out on the line this morning went to work, started raining and guess what, they are still wet!. Great.

Your right, I need to throw myself into a new project. I have ordered 5 canvasas to do some of my own artwork ( I have 7 litres of acrylic paint i havent used yet!) so that may be the thing to do, besides the gymn, sayoc kali, silat, work, housework, decorating, gardening, eating, breathing and oh yes sleeping!. I love to try new things when i can. What are your interests ? do you have a family to look after ?.

I saw a painting once called morning by dod procter, you must see it sometime. That one painting encouraged me to visit galleries and travel. Have you ever been inspired by something so simple ?

As for cats you know your stuff. Cats choose not us.

Maybe id be better off with a budgie !

Posted on: August 6, 2009 - 7:58pm

Pansy

Hi Steve,
nice to hear from you again. well done for having so many interests! that is where I need to learn a lesson! I have been so busy in my life with my children, for years I just have not stopped, I need to somehow 'get a life' as they say. Dont know where to start to be honest. I am glad that you have your interests. I am sure, as others have said, that your friends will be pleased to see you. Keep us posted how you are doing.
take care
Paula

Posted on: August 6, 2009 - 9:56pm

bourne

Hi paulasgems,

Yes im still awake at this time !.

I think you sound like you are in need of something new, a hobby. I suppose you firstly have to sit in a quiet area and make a short or long list of things you enjoy or would like to do but never have.

Look at me. I always wanted to play the guitar, but just one song. Wonderwall by oasis.
So i bought a guitar and i taught myself how to play it, i never wanted to be someone who watched other people do the things i want to.
(By the way i now can play many more songs, sometimes they sound good sometimes i make a real mess of it but i enjoy it).
I recently bought a piano (£60) for my little girl who is two to plonk around on. How nice to have a piano in the living room. I always wanted to play clocks by coldplay and so now im learning slowly.

I think you should decide to do something youd like to do, throw caution to the wind and do it. Dancing class, cake decorating, martial arts, archery ?? Then work out the time you need and work around it.

Money a problem ? sell the things you never use or do something you can afford to do.

If everyone spent 5 minutes writing a list of what they would like to do or even see in this short life i think they would be surprised at what they want to do, sometimes its subconscious.

I would watch martial art films and say gosh that was good, i wish i could do that. well guess what i can. I watch the bourne films ( my nickname at work !) and know that i understand the moves and can defend myself against a knife (sayoc kali)... etc.

write that list and tell me whats on it !!

start this year before its over.

Posted on: August 6, 2009 - 11:40pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hi bourne

Those sound like inspirational words you are sending to paualsgems and all of us!

I had a look at that Dod Proctor painting you mentioned; I do like paintings of people rather than scenery. When I went to London i really enjoyed The National Portrait Gallery, although i tend to be more inspried by music than art.

As for me, I am one of the Moderators of this board and have been on here for just over a year. I only have one child living at home now and he is.....(ssssshh)...a teenager!

You certainly have a good range of hobbies, bourne, and I was about to ask about the sayoc kali but you explained it :) Good luck with the piano and guitar; I am a bit oif a piano player myself and when I was bringing up the boys on my own and every penny counted, I gave lessons in the evenings.

Maybe you could tell us why your work nickname is bourne sometime?

Take care

Posted on: August 7, 2009 - 9:35am

Anna

Parenting specialist

Hi there bourne, I agree the pick ups can be difficult, but hopefully if all can be kept amicable then in time it will get easier. Please feel free to share your story in the Introduce Yourself group in the topic 'Your story'.

Paulasgems, my friend insists that everyone should read the Artists Way, as it helps you find the Artist within. She read it and is now writing short stories (she even won a runner up prize for it!) amongst many other interesting bits and pieces! Including making little creatures with plasticine, she is 37 and has no children, but she always seem to be having a great time. Another of her projects is to go for a walk with her digital camera, she takes pictures of plants one time, then trees the next, shop windows etc! She says it makes her go out for a walk and she doesn't mind going on her own as it looks as if she is really busy. She is always amazed at the little things she sees that she has never noticed before! Here is a link to her basic tools! http://www.theartistsway.com/tools/the-basic-tools

What will you be painting bourne? Please feel free to add an image of any of your paintings, or your daughter on the piano, to our Family Quilt here: http://interactive.onespace.org.uk/quilt/

Posted on: August 7, 2009 - 1:41pm

bourne

Hi louise

Thanks for the kind words.. piano teacher eh.

I saw an ad in the local shop window. A piano teacher. She sounded ideal, would come to your house and was fully qualified. I was about to book her until someone i knew mentioned that she would suddenly burst out singing at the top of her voice!, I decided to leave it for a while.

What songs do you play ?

as for the teenage years, they drained me. I would rather spar for two hours than argue with a teenager, but i got through it with my eldest daughter. If you recall i brought her up from 5, not easy and i made plenty of mistakes. But one piece of advice from me is this " never take the spirit out of the child".
I would let my daughter express herself fully before i explained my reasoning calmly but firmly. Then and only then would i let her go off in an almighty huff!.

What do you do now for yourself ?

Hi anna

how are you ? I checked out the link to theartistsway, quite interesting. If only i had time in a morning, i hate alarm clocks and so rely upon my own sense of time, more often than not im up on time, but sometimes im so late i have to miss my morning bath ritual and dive in and out of the shower literally, i like the idea.

Does paulas gems exhibit her work ? she sounds like a busy lady to me.

Do you have any interests?

Anyway thanks again, i enjoy talking and its stopping me roaming around the house.

Ive got to find the betterware catalogue now, the local seller isnt happy ive lost it, i think its betterware, i usually just sling them on top of the fridge!.

take care all.

I will try and post a pic of me and mt little girl later when i work out how to,

bye , oh and thanks to anyone who took the time to reply or at least read this thread,.

Posted on: August 7, 2009 - 8:30pm

sadsy

hey there steve,

Quote:

My question is this (sorry about the rambling i was trying to give you a picture of who iam), does anyone else find themselves roaming from room to room for no apparent reason or am i going mad ??

Yep, I do that. And yes you ARE going mad.
I find it's better than staying sane. I can recommend it.

I'm finding I'm talking with invertebrates from north Africa lately. Must be the next stage.

hug for you (manly type hug - like rugby players, lots of coughing etc)

Posted on: August 7, 2009 - 9:59pm

Pansy

sorry been a bit slow replying. I thank you for your words Bourne, yes I do need to find time for the things I would like to do & yes I should write a list. This is a quick one sorry because I'm in a hurry at mo. catch up later. hope your doing ok.
I will let you know what I have written that way you can keep on at me until I do it, ha! :D
Paula

Posted on: August 7, 2009 - 11:20pm

bourne

Well sadsy thats two of us that appear to be barking mad.

I appreciate your input here, I am still roaming from room to room and now Ive even ventured up into the loft!. Ive decided to embrace the fact that its good to be a non normal conformist. We should set up a group called room roamers, we could visit each others house to expand on the adventure and roam around more rooms, yep ive now lost it!.

Anyway thanks for the man hug. The last time i got a man hug was when i met my father at watford gap services about a month ago, so ta, cough.

Take it easy sadsy.

Hey paulasgems, nice to hear your writing your list. Im going to do a new one and i know that i will be adding a few things, I want to take a few canoe lessons !, i cant afford a canoe but id like to try it out.

Well im off out now, done my washing and room roaming.

Talk later, oh and does anyone know how to descale an iron ?

Posted on: August 8, 2009 - 9:15am

Louise

Parenting specialist

Descale an iron? :shock: do you mean there is a load of stuff on the iron plate or that the innards are silted up?

re the piano I haven't got it anymore, due to space restrictions, I have an old keyboard instead but don't get much time to do it nowadays.

Are you seeing your daughter this weekend?

Posted on: August 9, 2009 - 9:29am

bourne

Hi louise,

My Iron has gone to Iron heaven (The bin) I bought a new one as the descaling operation sounded a bit too serious to me.

Yes i had my daughter this weekend. I feel ill everytime i go to pick her up as i feel anxious and would rather not see my ex. I just want to get my daughter and go.

I really feel for the people who have more intense situations. Anyway I picked her up and we went home.

Sat night : Home 7pm, Cereal and harry potter, Harry potter to scary cue Stinky Pingu, Bowl of cornflakes, wants harry potter back on, falls asleep, me too 5 mins later, carry up to bed.

Sun morning shes in bed with me, (from 4am) im clinging to edge of bed, shes sideways, wakes up "Daddy theres a spider ", no spider its a tiny fly.

Breakfast, wash, (me quick shower) dressed, do some drawing, watch martian child, garden, sit in playhouse together with an orange lollipop each, sunny. , Have dinner ,watch martian child again, go swimming, home , play, Have fishfinger sandwich!, play, trampoline, utube watch laughing babies and babies falling over, bath time, tea, tidy garden together, singing into my guitar amp, tidy upstairs together, harry potter, too scary cue kung fu panda, falls asleep great!, godfather 2 and a cup of tea.Put her in bed, me here now.

Shame you sold the piano, do you work full time ?

Not heard from paulasgems, she must be still writing her list.

well i expect this thread is almost done, have i rambled on too much ?

Posted on: August 9, 2009 - 9:27pm

Pansy

cant write my list at the moment (i have changed name, shhh) life doesn't feel worth much at the moment :cry:

I had not seen ex since he walked out almost 6 wks ago, but he came on thurs & went back today. He had to stay here because he is now living about 16 hrs away! We had to do lots of talking because I didn't get any closure on our relationship because of how things happened. I still love him & at the moment cant see when I am ever going to feel different, infact I feel really bad!

I will write my list if I ever feel like I want to get a life again. Really sorry to be so miserable on your thread.
No Sy here tonight to make me laugh

I'm glad you had a nice time with your daughter & it's nice to ramble, you carry on. we all like ramblings here! :)
from Pansy ;)

Posted on: August 9, 2009 - 9:53pm

bourne

Hey, You sometimes have to roll with the punches and remember tommorows another day.

Your bound to feel this way and its not easy, but inside your tougher than you may think.

Sorry you feel so down at the moment but remember this, when i felt so crap and so low once i just burst out laughing because i knew i couldnt get any worse , the only way was up.

Life is a challenge sometimes and we have to duck and dive, but then one day something clicks and you realise that your life is worth something and you dont waste energy thinking about things, you act and you get into first gear. I promise youll be ok but for now , roll with the punches.

I give you a big virtual hug. Feel the hurt but dont torture yourself. Eat, drink, keep yourself tidy, just keep things ticking over for now, everything will be okay, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. Be strong, write down how you feel to yourself. ok x

Posted on: August 9, 2009 - 10:26pm

sparklinglime

I'm glad you had a good weekend with your daughter.

Funny how it's us who end up clinging to the end of the bed though...

Posted on: August 9, 2009 - 10:26pm

bourne

sparkling lime, Have you ever had a foot come crashing down on your throat in the middle of the night ? Or an elbow to the nose ?

Its tough having to share a bed with a little one, I do end up on th eedge then i swop sides, but she pushes me the other way !, I try to sneak her back into her own bed but im so clumsy i wake her up.

Sounds like your in the same club !

Posted on: August 9, 2009 - 10:29pm

Pansy

thanks bourne.
I find it helps alot coming on here & writing it all down. just knowing people are there & no one has to say much, just knowing they know how I feel is a help.

yes tomorrow, another day. And I will always get up & put make up on etc, no matter how crap I feel, kids keep me going & knowing that my cup is always half full, I still havn't lost faith in my good old half full cup!
Pansy

Posted on: August 9, 2009 - 10:38pm

bourne

Yeah, Tommorows a day closer to the day when you will be happy for good.

Could be 10 days, or 100 days it wont be 1000 days.

(Just swotted a wasp !)

I will be online tommorow to make sure your ok, Your life is yours.

Have a goodnight, I cant put make up on to feel better though !.

Goodnight. Be strong, horlicks or Hot chocolate eh.

Posted on: August 9, 2009 - 10:50pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Yes, guys, stay strong, it's not always easy :shock:

Bourne I am glad you had a good time with your daugher, even if you had to sleep in a tiny little space (why is it that they spread out like starfish when they get into our beds? :roll: )

Pansy I am sure you are emotionally wrung out with the events of the last few days. Take it steady and remember that half-full cup (even if it IS Horlicks :) )

Posted on: August 10, 2009 - 9:37am

Pansy

Hi bourne,
thanks for your words of support.
I have decided I'm NOT actually putting any make-up on today :o , I'm taking it easy! pleased to hear your not either :lol:
These wasps must be everywhere then, we have had wasps in the house during last couple of days too!
After today I will try & keep me & kids busy. Then maybe when I'm in last week of summer hols away on beach for the week, I will write that list. Thanks.
Pansy

Posted on: August 10, 2009 - 11:34am

Pansy

so what happened to bourne then?
hope you ok bourne.
probably somewhere getting a life!

Posted on: August 12, 2009 - 6:01pm

sadsy

Hey there bourne,
come back mate!

Posted on: August 12, 2009 - 6:32pm

Pansy

you have frightened him off for good now! :lol:

Posted on: August 12, 2009 - 6:35pm

bourne

Erm stop talking about me i can hear you!.

Well hope your all okay, ive had a tough night tonight, Yes im up late your all tucked in bed and im keeping the world spinning around.

I picked my daughter up from nursery.
We get home.
Neighbours replaced front hedge with fence, great.
I tear a strip of the lady next door, should have discussed it with me first, shared hedge blah blah, she appologises but im not having it,
Her husband comes over , i tell him to button it, ive got my daughter with me, dont want no shouting. They both go off bewildered.
I go inside still mad, (not like me by the way im usually very placid).
I sort my daughter out, choc ice (i do feed her fruit and healthy food , i eat clean as i can myself , but youve got to let them live a little).
colouring books out, into garden water tomatoes (peppers definatley in a coma, lettuce last rights, courgettes everywhere but ive gone off them, weeds doing well) She insists on watering the weeds.
Bath , bubbles everwhere, supper, harry potter.

Then i realise ive been a wally and i take a note around to neighbours asking them to call in so i can appologise in person.
(I dont want my 5 minutes of fame to be on that tv programme neighbours from hell!).

They arrive and before i can say anything they tell me i dont need to appologise and im overwhelmed by their niceness.

They thank me for inviting them in, I say i must be under some stress that i wasnt aware of, i feel sad and i fight back tears, they say they noticed i was alone now and if i need anything they are there for me, this nice couple in their fifties.

I realise im suffering inside but i appologise, im not confrontational. Yes i know my martial arts but would never be violent or irresponsible. I thank them and they leave.

Harry potter, asleep take her up to bed.

Im left feeling a bit fed up with myself for being such a fool, i loved that hedge but there are more important things in this world to worry about, i mean people are starving to death for gods sake.

So my freinds i think im suffering a bit and took it out on the neighbours. I am now having a nice cup of tea.

The fence looks nice anyway.

Now back to my origional question, I think im going mad help ?

Do i get a prize for being up so late.

Why am i typing, your all asleep, help me anna !!

Posted on: August 12, 2009 - 11:24pm

sparklinglime

You're not going mad.

You're adjusting to a whole new way of life.

I'm so glad you have good neighbours. Although I have to say, I wouldn't have been best pleased if I'd come home to find my hedge gone. That must have been a shock!

Hope your cup of tea was good.

Have a lovely time with your daughter.

I went for a drive with my daughter and youngest to meteor spot - and we did. :D Wow!! Eldest stayed at home with the 13 year old.

You're not a fool. Be kind to you.

As for me being up so late - seems that when I get low I can't sleep. Too many people being missed at the mo.

Not quite sure what to make of Sy's kisses though... ;)

Take care

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 3:10am

sadsy

Hello bourne,
I'm on slippery slope with these kisses. Moderator mention about setting my privates alight with sambucca (is that a type of match?). I'm not having any of it, no matter what One Space guidelines say. No underwear BBQ! Might need those appendages one day.

Not sure of your situation, when my kids go back to loony louise ex, house very quiet and I have down day. Empty children's beds. Be kind to yourself. I need to read your posts to understand better.

I'll look up a Karate kiss. Effective defence against mongol invaders 200 bc, a big smooch is. Legions of smoochers crowned the hills above Beijing. Defiantly stood in the defence of their city. Before they were cut down and slaughtered before delivering their pouting deadly kiss. Cult of the kiss never made it any further in history. One exercise was climbing walls, ONLY, by using their lips, such was their strength.

Don't feel guilty about hedge. It was thoughtless of them. Good that they recognised this and valued you for a friendly meet up reconciliation.

Which Harry Potter do you watch?

Hope you are feeling better today bourne.

Martial arts kiss on the forehead.

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 9:23am

Louise

Parenting specialist

Oh sparkling, I have been trying to meteor-spot , but haven't seen anything. Last night was clear up here but still no luck :? Glad you saw it all.

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 9:24am

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hi bourne

What a night for you!

I agree they should nothave just put up that fence without at least discussing it with you, but FANTASTIC they have realised this, well done to you for making a move to regain the peace, and even more fantastic that this is a new breakthrough in your neighbourly relationship. Maybe you could foist some of your unwanted courgettes on them? heh heh Seriously, this could really be a good support for you as time goes on.

If you want to understand why you felt as you did, my guess is that with the stress you are under at the moment, you are feeling extra-territorial.

By the way, top courgette tip....pick them, wash them, cut them into chunks, put them in boiling water for 2 mins on the stove, drain, and freeze in portions for the winter. They are especially delicious with tinned tomatoes to make a ratatouille!

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 9:41am

Pansy

Oh bourne,
what a realisation that was for you ! funny how we can think we are ok then something like that happens.

I think it wonderful that you put that note through door like that, that is the sort of thing I would have done too BUT they were wrong to do that without asking!! so you did have a right to be angry. Am really glad they came in & said sorry too.
But only because YOU set a good example first.

I like hearing about your veg in garden, so am going to bore you to death with mine now!
I too have lots of courgettes that now look more like marrows! :roll:
tomatoes have all flopped over & did not get pinched out, so know tomatoes on!
I have very nice cucumbers though & kale & brussel plants that are looking good, but I bet when the brussels come they will be manky! umm...what else, oh cauliflowers (not sure if pigeons have eaten them though) runner beans and lots & lots of weeds. Plus!! the garden grass is very, very long.
Yes sadly, because of 'him' walking out on me the poor garden has gone to pot, I dont have time for it anymore or our animals, so we are rehoming our chickens, rabbits & g-pigs :cry:

I would have loved to of seen the meteors last night, but it was cloudy hear in Dorset!

Hope you are feeling much better today bourne.
Pansy

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 9:53am

sparklinglime

Louise wrote:

Oh sparkling, I have been trying to meteor-spot , but haven't seen anything. Last night was clear up here but still no luck :? Glad you saw it all.

I think I saw four or five, and the children a few more. That was in 2 hours! We were lucky I think - so much for their 80 meteors an hour theory... At least over Anglesey.

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 11:54am

Anna

Parenting specialist

Hi bourne welcome back!

It sounds like your daughter has a lovely time when she is with you. The neighbours obviously recognise that you are under a huge amount of pressure at the moment. Great idea from Louise about sharing the courgettes!

Be careful with sadsy, his kisses get more and more intimate!! I thought men liked to give each other Liverpool kisses!!

No meteors for me either far too cloudy, I might have a peek on the internet to see if there is any good footage. :o

Glad you thought to come and post on here in the middle of the night bourne, although we may well be all tucked up in bed (although from this rabble very few usually are!!) we will always get back to you.

Have you had a look around some of the other groups? Would you be interested in starting a conversation up in Just for Dads perhaps??

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 12:15pm

sadsy

What's a Liverpool kiss??

I'll google it.

OMG.

I'll never get that right, reckon we'd just crack heads and I'd knock myself out.
Sticking to karate kiss for this week. Shame the Chinese martial art of the "Kiss" died out.
Would like to see them climbing walls with just their lips. Frightening.

pout

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 3:45pm

bourne

Thanks everyone,

Im getting a bit concerned about sadsy, rekon i will sleep with the lights on again tonight.

Cant believe sparklinglime saw a meteor ! how cool.

sadsy my freind i have no idea which harry potter i am watching at the moment, I bought a box set of 5 but everytime it gets a little scary she swops discs so i think at the moment im watching "The secret golden prisoner of phoenix "!!.

It sounds like your a potter fan, my daughter calls him harry potty ( i dont correct her in this case).

Louise your advice about the courgetes is a good one but i think i will lay low for a while.
One of my courgetes is rather big and long and i think they could be offended if i left that one on their doorstep!.

By the way Louise you know your veg. I used to be a chef when i was a younger man ( 17-20), I worked in an italian restaurant. I could tell you things that you wouldnt believe but if i do i swear the costra nostra will track me down.

Pansy do you live on a farm ? sounds like youve got a whopper of a garden. I ve lost interest in my veg at the moment, but i am off for a week soon so i will sort the whole house and gardens out. I understand the lack of interest though.

Hi anna,

To be honest i feel comfortable here talking to you all, but i may move to another topic, but i hope you all stick with me youve all been so nice and funny.

I appologise if i dont ask too much about you all but would like to know more. Whos idea was this site ?

Im off to have a bath noe but ill be back later after ive :

ironed workshirt , done pots, hung out my smalls, watered the tomatoes , oh no i cant be bothered , ....

hey ive just realised your all from dorset, kent, im from up north have i crossed into forbidden territory ?

Im from Yorkshire but i have no accent, im what you might call an englishman, born in hannover (father in army).

Love all things italian (think ive got italian blood).

thanks all,

now bath.

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 8:17pm

sadsy

hi bourne,
there's no territories in cyberspace. My great great great grandfather was bare knuckle fighter in Yorkshire.
Apparently. No picture of him though, they were very poor. No change there then.

Hope you all settled tonight. Is your daughter with you all the time?

Mine is coming on Saturday, I go collect her and and my son. They stay over 1 night. Must tidy up tomorrow and see what food there is.

Those Harry Potter movies are quite scary in parts.

Quote:

The secret golden prisoner of phoenix

lol, that is confusing. I've never read books.

Only one more day of kiss week.

OK, what about a viking warrior kiss where I kiss back of my hand and salute into the wind to our ancestors?

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 8:41pm

Pansy

No dont live on farm bourne, although it feels that way at the moment. The garden is an ok size not not huge. I have lost all interest in veg too! I'm not doing it next year, I'm going to have a go at living life outside my box for a change!

I love the harry potter books & movies, I am a big kid.

Watch out for that Sy, he is getting a name for himself! :lol: :lol:

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 9:13pm

bourne

Hey sadsy,

Hope you have a good time saturday, is it an akward situation ?

I have my little girl wed night, sat to monday morning, I have to drop her off at nursery which is nice but also sad.

I used to have my eldest daughter full time (shes now 19 and has her own place), one morning when she was about 6 i was about to drop her off at school but she was upset, she had a hole the knee of her black tights, quick thinking me got some boot polish and rubbed it into her knee, voila, couldnt see the hole.
When i collected her from school , all the mums were pulling strange faces at me , tutting and shaking their heads. When i got home she told me she had p.e and had changed into her shorts and had to run around with one black knee. The teacher was puzzled and fetched the headmistress to examine it and before you know it , it was all around school. I was known as the boot polish dad.

Now ive shared that with you i feel so much better.

Do you find that you feel under the spotlight some times as a single dad ?

Im for the scrap heap sadsy,

You must have yorkshire blood eh, im the only northener , northenor, god that doesnt look right, nortenner, no thats definately wrong.

..........................

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 9:15pm

bourne

will do pansy,

yeah im not bothering next year too, maybe next year i may meet a nice person to build up a freindship with. Why on earth did i try growing strawberries when i love to go and pick half a ton in a field !, i got three strawberries this year and one of them was the size of a pea.

youll have to post a pic of your garden !

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 9:20pm

Pansy

:lol: you really wouldn't want to see it! It is now an overgrown mess. I live in a Dorset village & the house is at the top of a bit of a hill, so the garden sloops & is very bumpy, it is murder to cut the grass & I have only done it once since husband left me six weeks ago, he used to do it. I just cant fit it in with everything else. I know what you mean about strawberrys! I have them too, but have still been buying from the shops.
Pansy

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 9:28pm

mousie

I also have courgettes that look like marrows and massive tomato plants with about 3 tomatoes on...was going to give it all up when huband left as did nothing for first 3 months and weeds took over, however now when HE has my little girl I am incapable of doing anything except taking iT out on those blasted weeds, have dug my allotment to death over past couple of months (plants still tend to grow in minature though, except courgettes) find it very therapeutic being able to at least kill SOMETHING!!!

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 11:26pm

Pansy

mousie wrote:

I also have courgettes that look like marrows and massive tomato plants with about 3 tomatoes on...was going to give it all up when huband left as did nothing for first 3 months and weeds took over, however now when HE has my little girl I am incapable of doing anything except taking iT out on those blasted weeds, have dug my allotment to death over past couple of months (plants still tend to grow in minature though, except courgettes) find it very therapeutic being able to at least kill SOMETHING!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

yes how therapeutic!!!

Posted on: August 13, 2009 - 11:36pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hi mousie, what a brilliant direction for your anger, sorting out the weeds. Serves 'em right! ;) Re your veg, see my top tip for ratatouille earlier in this thread....

Bourne you're not the only northerner, there are plenty of us including yours truly, but as sadsy says, there are no boundaries in cyberspace. You made me laugh so much describing your neighbours' possible reaction to the huge courgette! :lol: :lol: I think your boot polish knee was a really good idea. It is only the same as women painting their legs with gravy browning during the war when they couldn't get stockings.

Sadsy I think the Viking thing sounds very ennobling!

Pansy, you will do your garden when you feel the need, you do right to take a break if you're fed up of it

Posted on: August 14, 2009 - 9:56am