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Awww. Hopefully after spilling it all to your friend, things will get easier for you. They might carry some of your load, if you know what I mean. I don't think it was a bad thing at all that the boss saw you crying. I'm sure now they know how you're feeling, you will have lots of support from them.That was lovely of your friend too, no work for the evening, which is what you need.
A few weeks ago, C's teacher broke down, and she had the Head and another teacher in with her. This is her 2nd year, she's very young, no kids, but I think she needed support from the others.
I think what happened yesterday is a good thing for you. At least now others can help. I really hope today is good for you.
Take care
xx
It's good that there are staff there who care, understand and listen. That sounds such a positive - and they can see you're a hard worker.
It is their experience that can help you find a way to make things manageable.
I hope today will be a better day.
Yes, hope today is better,
I, too, see it as a real positive, maybe there is some more support that can be put in place to help you through thsi first year.
Hi. Was wondering how you're doing? I really hope things have improved for you since your chat with the boss and your friend. Not long now until the xmas hols. Is your son getting excited? Is he doing a nativity at school? C is the narrator AGAIN. Have to say though, he does love doing this.
Take care, hope you're keeping warm in this awful weather!
It's costing me a fortune in gas! about three odd quid a day, that's a bottle of cheap wine, twenty one quid a week! but then I do like to walk about the house in a T-Shirt despite not still living in Spain.
I'm sure my dad is spinning in his grave going put a bloody jumper on.
brrrrrrrrrr we went for a lovely walk this morning in the snow and the sunshine then a lovely pub lunch sitting beside a real fire - fab Sunday :) really cold now tho back at my house trying to plan my lessons for tomorrow. Still struggling at school to be honest but hoping this is the worst term I will ever face, what with everything being new. Somehow need to find the energy and the courage to get through the academic year then will take stock of how I feel.
Yes, son is getting excited about Christmas, and his play clashes with a free period I have at my school so I'm really hoping I manage to get myself there. Spending money far too quickly at the moment but I guess sometimes its just like that. Also what to buy the perfect boyfriend for xmas???
Hope you are all staying warm somehow x
Bubblegum, I like that!
Hi Pink, lots of the schools are closed here today with the heavy snow. You're rightm, this is the hardest term and the hoilidays are in sight.As for the Christmas shopping, I would just do the boring thing and ask him what he wants 
Not good, heavy snow. It's so bad there for you.
Beautiful freezing morning here. Youngest is home with a cough - which for him leads to asthma. I don't let him out my sight really when he gets asthma, as he goes downhill so quickly. His first day off high school.
Keep warm and safe, everyone.
On my second snow day!! I love teaching again, lol. Finally getting chance to get caught up with stuff and feel human again :) hope you are all having fun with your little ones in the snow
Hi
Glad you are having a bonus couple of days off, probably just what is needed to boost you for the run up to the Christmas break!
That is good to know.
hmmmmm very fed up.....can't seem to do anything right.....wish I had more patience...reluctant to post all details on here as bit nervous who might read it...any way that I can change my user name to something more anonymous??
Make another account?
We can change your user name if you like. I will email you at home so you can reply to me directly with a new name.
Sending loads of hugs.
Hi Pink
I have just read your posts, it has been a very long term and it definitely has its ups and downs espcially if the kids can't get outside for some fresh air. They are like caged animals lol, I started in the January term, which in my neck pf the woods they class as the worst as it is when you have to get all you exam classes and coursework completed. i took over from the retiring HoD who did nothing with the kids, no discipline, work or targets, so when I went in as an NQT who could change the world (well no, I was battling with the fact I had to go to work and leave my 7 week old baby) I nearly left in the first week.
I had a meltdown and two of my colleagues coincidently came to my classroom which was quite isolated. They told me that there was no way I was failing as these kids didn't even choose to do my subject they were dumped there as it didn't have an exam and they should all get at least one GCSE. It really helps to talk to other teachers about the stresses although I get a bit fed up with, "I don't know how you do it, work full time and bring up 4 children on your own." BECAUSE I have to is what I want to scream back.
Hopefully now you are having a well deserved break to recharge your batteries and get ready for Christmas with your son. I set myself half-termly goals, then it became termly. My boss tells me I have signed up for life, but, no I am doing the next term as I am entitled to a golden hello payment and after getting all of those kids a GCSE I think I deserve it :o)
I love teaching, maybe one day I will go back to it, getting through that NQT year was my motivation, as at least I know that I can go back into the profession. If I didn't do it now I don't think I would have done. I am very proud of my achievement and you should be to, I did mine through SCITT which I think prepared me quite well as we were in school from day one all the time with the odd residential.
I used to count down in observations lol as I knew I needed one per half term so that was 6, when I got to 4 it was so exciting to know only 2 left. Not that I mind being observed, I always looked forward to the APs as well and seeing what grade I was given for that term's work. Having my final one and unofficiallly being signed off at the beginning of december was fab, you will get there xxx
Thanks for that, second time. The voice of experience! I am sure it will help Pink grapefruit to know that you understand. You will have seen by the threads that we have been following her progress through the course and now at the school.
Pink grapefruit, hope you are now enjoying the Christmas hols with your son and WELL DONE for getting here!
Hi Pinkgrapefruit. Hope you've had a good Christmas with your son. Do you both go back tomorrow? How are you feeling about it? I'm sure you'll be fab. Don't forget, we're all here for you
Hi Alison, Thats so kind of you to think of me this evening - I'm feeling really down about going back to school tomorrow :(
I've had a great Christmas break with my son - he's growing up so fast and is such good company. I'm terrified about all the hard work thats ahead of me, I've done no work at all over the holidays and even this evening I'm panicing rather than actually being productive! I think I just need to take it one week at a time and plan some good stuff for the weekends and fingers crossed it will be half term and I'll still be surviving.
How was your Christmas? Bet your son had fun - is he back tomorrow too? You dreading it? Thanks for your amazing support
Glad you had such a good Christmas, pink grapefruit. Good luck for the new term
Hi pinkgrapefruit. Our christmas was lovely thankyou. At times I did feel like elastic, being pulled from cooking to playing. Found that stressful, but survived. Yes, C is back at school today, and I missed him as soon as he went in. Going to knuckle down for the maths course, due to start 24th Jan. I have to do it, as will be going from IS to JSA anytime now, and hoping to get a TA job at his school. I've been volunteering, so fingers crossed that something turns up.
Hope today goes ok for you both.
I don't want to go to school tomorrow!! Friday was terrible. My classes were appalling and a run in with one boy in particular that I don't feel I handled particularly well. I'm fed up of always rushing around. Always being in a bad mood. never having enough time for anyone or anything, never mind for myself. Kids are so cruel, at first I could just let the insults wash over me but I was having a bad day on friday and all the nasty comments every single lesson really started to get to me and I'm still dwelling on them today (you're a rubbish teacher, you don't teach us anything, no one listens to you, hate your clothes miss, whats your husband like miss - oh i bet you haven't got one, you pick on me etc etc etc) . I haven't found any sanction that really works with them, in one class I have 35 pupils that just chat and chat and chat, and get louder if I try to speak to them - if i do a whole class detention then i get inundated with complaints by the better kids, if I pick just a few to discipline then they complain that they have been picked on as everyone was involved. I've asked my boss to help, he says just yell at them. I've tried and they think its funny. I can't stand the thought of having to face them again tomorrow :(
I wish I knew what to say pinkgrapefruit, and I know that being "jolly" about a count down is not appropriate.
Your boss isn't helpful, is he?? Is there anyway you can tell those who want to learn to stay and those who don't to go in the hall - and your boss can deal with them?
It's ridiculous that they're leaving you in this situation, knowing that this is your first year.
Loads and loads of hugs. Any chance of another school? After all, with your subject, I would have thought you were so valuable, they'd be doing all that can be done to support you.
Hi pinkgrapefruit. I'm so sorry to hear you had such a bad day, and not surprising that you don't want to face it tomorrow. I would approach the Headmaster again, after all, he should be helping you, when you've actually asked for it! If the kids don't want to learn in class, can you then set the work that should be done in class as extra homework. Detention for those that don't complete, double detention if they still don't. Perhaps that will shock the little buggers. It will also show you mean business. They may be wasting your time in the classroom, but they're the ones getting extra work for home. Does this make sense? Or missing breaktimes. They wouldn't like that either. It is such a shame that all this is happening. Sending you lots of hugs and strength for tomorrow.
Could you, as Sparkling suggests, change schools. Perhaps a Junior one?
thanks ladies - just hoping and hoping things can't be as bad tomorrow. Finding it very difficult to bounce repeatedly back tho.
Yes, I am not surprised, it sounds an absolute nightmare, and as sparkling says, your boss sounds less than helpful!
Did you ever get in touch with that organisation I gave you the link for, that supports teachers? Here it is again, I think it is worth getting in touch. Just being able to talk to others in the profession might give you some extra techniques or at least the knowledge that you are not alone.
Good luck today, thinking of you
Hi pink grapefruit, how did it go today?
It sounds as though you are being abused by these children, bullied about your marital status is not OK.
You say that you have talked to your boss, can you go higher than him, the head teacher perhaps, as you know that yelling won't solve this disruptive behaviour.
Do you get supervision? Is it possible for you to have a mentor? Are you a member of a Union?
PS. I have just had a look at the website Louise suggested, it looks great, it has a stress test and an area for newly qualified teachers, do have a look :)
I'm thinking of you loads today.
xx
Hi pinkgrapefruit. Hope you had a better day today. Keep your spirits up, even though it must be extremely hard for you to do so right now.
x
Hi pinkgrapefruit. Hope you're doing ok. Hows your son? Really do hope things have settled down at the school since you last posted. Take care, thinking of you.
Hi - like the name hazeleyes;)
School is very up and down, some bearable days but many very tough ones. And never enough hours in the day. I'm totally shattered at the moment and can't see the wood for the trees. Don't get much support from others. My boss is also my mentor, we have weekly meetings but the advice he gives isn't particularly helpful so am having to just cope with things the best i can. wouldn't want to rock the boat and go above him to anyone else, i need to pass this year to continue teaching and its my boss that has to sign me off.
got a massive week coming up next week. can only cry when i think about it. am such a misery guts and totally exhausted. must go now and sit looking at my blank page of paper again - trying to work.
Hi
At least there are days that are bearable.
As you say, you need to have this year signed off. You've come to far not to, really - and boy, you need to be so proud of you for achieving so much.
Is there anyway you can split next week into copable chunks? Sorry your boss is unhelpful. I'm sure he must appreciate how hard it is.
xx
oh my goodness - I have the worst case of the sunday night blues ever - feeling totally petrified about the coming week. So stressed I can hardly breathe.
Hi pinkgrapefruit
I do hope this coming week will be ok for you, it cant be easy but you are doing soooooooo well, keep going xxx
Hugs
xxx
Sunday nights can be the hardest time as you face the week ahead. Hope the week is better than you anticipate!
Hi pinkgrapefruit. Thinking of you today. Hopefully the week will be a good one for you. Doesn't sound like the boss is much help at all. That is disgraceful. He should be there to support and encourage you. I really admire you for seeing it through, for not quitting, and for facing it. Good luck.
Hi pinkgrapefruit
I hope your week is going better than anticipated. Do you have any mantras that you can say to yourself to feel calmer.
I am a good teacher
I love my job and want to inspire children
I always do the best I can do
My life is not my job
Let us know how you are getting on .....did you ever contact the Teacher Support Network??
thanks for your support.
Monday was ok compared to today that has been appalling. Boy arrived being rude, continued to criticise me very loudly for the first 10 mins, then when I was standing at the front he threw something towards me that terrified me, turned out it was only a pen but at the time it scared the life out of me. Needless to say enough was enough so i removed him to work somewhere else. he then complained to my boss that i pick on him and i had to sit down with the 2 of them and ask him nicely to think about his behaviour. This is about the third similar chat i've had with this individual. The whole incident really has upset me and affected the other classes i had to teach today - with me very sensitive to behaviour issues. Just can't see that i'm cut out for this. Really tempted to resign and walk out in this ridiculous lesson today.
i have looked at the support network website, taken the stress test, and of course it said my stress was high and i should see my gp for some of the symptons. i feel i can't so that tho, its essential i pass this year and any time that i have off that is stress related might be taken as evidence that i'm not up to the job (which is probably pretty true i suppose). i haven't been brave enough to contact the support network, supposed i can't see how what they say can change what i have to face day in day out.
I can't believe your boss has not supported you with this lad.
I'm just sorry its such a nightmare for you, I really am.
xxx
Hi pinkgrapefruit
This is possibly a daft question but could you ask to move schools? Are you in a union.
It makes me so cross when good people who really want to be great teachers are treated so badly!!!!!!!!!!!! Please do reconsider contacting the support network thats why they are there and I am sure you wont be the 1st to ask for their help.
Thinking of you xxx
Hi pinkgrapefruit. Really sorry you had to face such behaviour. I'm still appalled that your boss isn't offering you the support that is needed. If you can get through to the end of the year, is it a possiblity for you then to teach a Junior school maybe? I know it's still hard, but at least the children are younger, and you might be able to get more respect out of them. You're having such a tough time at the moment, and not enjoying it at all, which is so sad, considering all the hard work that you put in. Are you still in a relationship? Is he being supportive? How's your little lad? Thinking of you loads. On a brighter note, it's Friday, and only a few more weeks til half term.
Hi pinkgrapefruit. Hope you're having a nice weekend with your son, and not being bogged down with lesson planning etc. How are you feeling now? Really hope you're ok. Take care.x
Hi, great weekend thanks hazeleyes, done no work and had lots of fun. Just about to start doing some work now. Yes, still seeing boyfriend, he's fab and very supportive but deserves a medal for listening to my moaning about school. I get frustrated that I can't keep school and home seperate and that I get so upset during the day that it spills over and spoils my evening, I want to try to start leaving the problems at school. Also need to find some time for 'me time' but its so hard between working full time and spending time with my son. Time is coming to feel so precious, far more so even than money!
Son's great thanks but i wish i had more time to spend with him when we're not both exhausted. only 3 weeks til half term tho!
hope you've had good weekend too
x
Hi pinkgrapefruit. I guess with any job, if you've a problem there, then it's bound to spill over into your home life too. Don't worry, I'm sure it'll all pan out. You're doing so well. Your boyfriend is being supportive, which is also brilliant. I'm sure he doesn't mind you moaning (not too much anyway, hehe). Yep, only 3 more weeks, so you'll be able to spend more time with son.
We've had a good weekend thankyou. Didn't venture out, but he's had my undivided attention!!! I'm still doing the Math sigh. It's the 2nd week of the math course this afternoon. Adults are there for hour and half, then the children are brought in. Bit wierd actually, as I cannot see how I'm going to get a GCSE from this, too easy, but I'll wait and see as the weeks roll by!!!
x
Take care, the best of luck for this week.
xxx
Did i say in the previous post math was too easy. Wow, I spoke too soon. Yesterday was tricky tricky tricky!!!
Hi hazeleyes, glad you're sticking with the maths, I'm glad it started off easy as maths really needs all the basics firmly understood before you can build on that. Also, like anything, everyone finds different topics easier / more difficult. I'm great with numbers but rubbish at shape stuff (terrible spatial awareness....) so thats always quite challenging for me.
Feel a bit wobbly today, school was bearable, no major disasters altho I did have to slam the door pretty hard at one stage to get my year 8s to notice that I wanted their attention. Just wobbling about working full time, not seeing as much of son as I'd like, and my relationship. I get so stressed at school that I've been very snappy at home. I already now this is wrong, my boyfriend quite rightly dislikes me doing it and has said he's getting tired of it as I seem to be nice to everyone else except him. I know I do this, the only people I snap at are my boyfriend, my son and my parents - none of which deserve it but maybe as those are the ones I'm closest too those are the ones I'm daring to lash out at. I hate it as soon as I behave like this - its nothing massive I say but I know its the tone and snappiness that is upsetting. Really want to train myself not to do this but I react so quickly that I can't stop myself. Anyway its causing me to feel wobbly today, I don;t want to lose my boyfriend and I don't want to treat my family like this. My self esteem isn't too great today as a result! Anyone else do this when they are stressed or is it part of my special-ness??!! Anyone any ideas how I control it.... Its not as much as anger, it literally is the occasional snap response if things are going badly. I just feel I can't cope with anything else added to my burden.
Thanks for your support x
oh dear, really tough day today - felt miserable from the moment I woke up for some reason and this stuck with me all day. My boss picked up something was wrong and came at the end of school to talk to me, I explained how tough I was finding it all and then embarassingly started crying. Thankfully he was great about it but I asked him to leave me as I didn;t really want to be like that in front of him. Anyway half an hour later he came back to check on me and his kind words just set off the tears again! Thankfully he then went home but not before obviously telling a female teacher that I get on with really well that I was upset. She came to find me and I just cried and cried to her for about an hour, rambling on about everything that I find hard, mostly balancing the job with my son. Even tho she doesn't have children she was great and ended up marching me to the car park without any work so that I have to have an evening off. Altho I really didn;t want to cry at school I feel much calmer now, maybe it has done me some good and perhaps its no bad thing that the teachers know I'm finding it tough. They were very supportive and have given suggestions as to how to make things a bit easier and also said they think I'm doing a good job so thats encouraging in a strange way. Oh dear, I don;t want to have another day like today for a long time tho!