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Thanks Alison - wasn't it horrible getting up and ready for school this morning? My son seems to have had a good day tho, hope yours has too. I was dreading teaching today for some reason, few hiccups but generally ok, well I survived anyway! Got an assignment due in at the end of the week, suspect it means a late night on Thursday but determined it will get done somehow...then i'm hoping the course will get much easier for the last 6 weeks or so. Busy job hunting for Sept at the mo, haven't actually plucked up the courage to apply for anything yet - waiting for something 'perfect' , not too sure if that actually exists tho! Spoke to my uni tutor today about it, he said i just need to start applying and stop thinking so much! Still have days when I think i just want to be at home for son tho, its sooo tough juggling everything...there never seems to be a happy medium tho...
found out one of my close friends is pregnant with her second child today - very pleased for her and her partner but tiny bit jealous too - do any of you ever wish you had another child but because of circumstances it looks unlikely? I was so caught up in being miserable cos of my partners behaviour when my son was tiny I never really just relaxed and enjoyed that precious time...too old and too single for that tho now! Will have to hound my friend I think and make sure I benefit from lots of baby cuddles when it arrives!
Right bedtime for me, got to teach first thing in the morning
ps I miss the maths thing!!
xx
Well done on getting through the first day. Time has surely flown on your course, and I expect you can't quite believe it as there have been so many hurdles for you to overcome.
You were talking about your friend's new baby and wanting a second child. I adore my two boys but when my marriage broke down, one of the things that made me sad was thinking "I will never have a daughter, that's it now".....so I think I understand how you feel.
Your son is going to be so proud of his Mum, especially as he gets older and appreciates all you went through. Life does not always deal us the cards we expect but we can still play a good hand!!
Hi, welcome to Term 5!
7 (4 - 3) + (8 x 8) - (10 x 7) = --------
I hope that makes you feel a little better!
I was just reading the latest posts and the one I started on on this thread was you saying how everything feels good, I think it was the end of term and all was well in your world and you had had a glass of wine! Then how strange some days can feel so good and others so rubbish. I too wonder this often!
I always wished that I had a little brother or sister for my daughter, but I have to say once she turned 10, I felt completely different. I now saw that she was getting older and life was going to get a little easier. You are so close to finishing your PGCE that if you had another one, you would have to retrain all over again. Although I do understand that feeling of, it would be sooo different if I had my time again, not only because I am a lot older and wiser, but I am so much more aware of the mistakes I made and definitely wouldn't repeat them.
I hope that you have started your assignment??
Thanks for the maths Anna, I do love my numbers - lol.
Assignment completed and handed in today :) now 'operation get a job for september' starts. The school I was on teaching practice at before xmas has been in touch to say they have just advertised and are keen for me to apply - really really hope I get it!! The closing date isn't for a couple of weeks so got a while to perfect my application, am keeping my fingers tightly crossed!!
Had a day at uni today, nice break from teaching. Arrived in a great mood, sun shining, ready to hand in my assignment. Then a 'friend' turned up, hes one of these people that seem to think that you should just insult everyone and no-one will take offence, well normally I just laugh it off but today I thought - no - that is not how friends behave and I find it offensive what he is saying about me and his attitude generally...so i kept out of his way, having lunch etc with another group. Well this evening he has been texting and texting saying why did i avoid him etc. So i've replied and just said i know he didn;t mean too but i found some of his comments hurtful and offensive today so i chose not to be near him. He says he is worried as he doesn't remember saying anything and people frequently tell him that he has offended them. I'm not replying anymore, but now i feel a bit down, hate conflict etc. Not that i've argued with him, just been a bit assertive and explained why i was upset. Lets face it, if i wanted insulting all day i could just ring my ex!! Maybe i'm super sensitive but i think i've tolerated this kind of behaviour for too long. Maybe my teaching etc is making me more confident again and i can finally see how i should be treated. But i wish he would just leave me alone and bother someone else!
lol sorry about the rant!
Hope everyone is well and looking forward to a sunny weekend. I'm going to treat myself to a shopping trip, might even splash out on an interview outfit - is that wishful thinking??!!
Take care
xx
Firstly well done on the assignment! Secondly that sounds really exciting about the job application. They are clearly interested in you and know and like your work. Yey, you go for it!
I also take my hat off to you about that bloke. It is not your responsibility to solve his problems so I am glad you backed off in the end but it was good to stand up to him and refuse to engage with his hurtful banter. If people let him get away with it then he will just carry on regardless.
Hope you can enjoy the sunshine. Let us know how you get on over the weekend
I'm so glad you've got the assignment done. Well done!!
Go for it - and I hope you do have a shopping session and find a nice outfit!
Enjoy the weekend.
Well what a gorgeous day.
Went shopping, got some bits for summer and a dress for teaching - altho its quite short so i might not be brave enough to school, enough to worry about then without wondering if i'm flashing too much leg!! It was only £5 tho from one of these Next clearance shops and I just couldn't resist it. Think it would be a good date outfit but as we are fast approaching a year since i've been on a date then its likely to stay in the wardrobe and get dusty I suspect!
Anyway then this afternoon did some gardening and used one of those little disposable BBqs for tea for son and me - saves cleaning the whole BBQ when there is only the 2 of us! He loved it, after we moved into the house last summer I had so much to sort out, unpacking etc before going to uni so this is the first time that we have been able to relax in the garden really. And I totally love my house and garden now. Its much tinier than the old house but its all mine and its perfect. I still get people coming round that comment that I must find it hard after living in such a beautiful house before, but its so nice to honestly be able to say i don't miss it at all. I don't think I could ever leave this place - i see myself growing very old here which is quite a nice feeling after all the upheaval of recent years.
still putting off filling in my job aplication form, having a relaxing weekend instead, must make a start on it next week tho, along with the last 2 weeks of lesson planning.
Thanks for all your kind words and support
xx
ps tried to find son some new clothes today - had to march past the baby section - everything was so cute - hmmm - i love my big boy to bits but i do miss those baby months / years. Strange, at the time i was so impatient for the next stage all the time.
Ooh all those broody feelings.....
Your day sounds lovely, and as for the short dress, would it go with leggings?
It's a fine thing to be contented in your surroundings, although it is not all to do with the actual place, it is also about peace of mind, isn't it? I am just thinking about what sparkling lime says about her home.
Enjoy the peace and don't forget it is Bank Holiday next weekend so an extra day for us all.
I used to have a big place. This place is teeny in comparison, but we're doing ok here.
I keep thinking that when I'm on my own it won't be too big for 'just' me!
How opposite from broody can you get??!
The down side is that the three boys share the main bedroom - which I don't think is particularly nice for my eldest.
It's Ok to be the opposite of broody, sparkling lime, and because you and I have older children, we are not even THAT far away from being grandmas, perhaps (phew bet that is a scary thought! teehee)
I know you love your home. I didn't realise that the three boys share, but you couldn't do it any other way really. My eldest came for tea last night (his Uni is only in the next town) and was hinting to the youngest that he could move out in the next couple of years and he himself could then move back in to the second bedroom (third bedroom little more than a cupboard here)
Its great going shopping and finding some bargains isn't it!
I was in Gap kids at the weekend and my daughter said, oh you should have a baby, these clothes are sooo cute, she was right they were. When she was small I didn't have any money so I relied on friends cast offs or cheap shops, I used to feel that life was sooo unfair. However while I was in that shop I was silently grateful I was broke when she was small as I would have spent all my money on these gorgeous clothes!!
Louise - grandchildren?? What are you thinking? Are you already looking forward to babysitting??
Hi sparklinglime, its so nice when you are 'HOME' and you know no-one can take that away from you!
Hi, yes i often wish i wasn't so very sensible. My son's clothes are generally from the supermarket or bargains i find in other places, i occasionally see a really well dressed boy and wish i spent loads on the cute trendy stuff but its so hard to justify. And as he spends most of his time flinging himself around playing football or on some dirty adventure in the garden I'm sure expensive clothes would turn me into a right old nag! Maybe i need to treat him to the occasional nice outfit tho just to satisfy my inner broodiness, lol.
2 more weeks at this school. Hmmmm i hate working every evening! still lesson planning tonight - well pretending too, just following my usual pattern of messing around on the computer until about 10pm when through sheer panic i will then cobble together some lessons :( i never learn!
xx
You're doing fine :-)
As for clothes, apart from the hand-me-downs, I got into a real pickle when my eldest was about four. Although not a lone parent at that time, my then partner was out of work and we were really broke. I did a trawl of the charity shops and was disappointed to find that there were NO trousers available (of course, as Bec says, boys of that age just totally ruin trousers with all their rolling around so there aren't many decent pairs left to hand down)...anyway I bought a couple of pairs of aged 8 with elasticated waist and did some serious hemming at home. The trouble was that the body part of the trousers was longer than his body and so he spent that autumn walking like John Wayne. However, not being fashion-conscious at the time, he did not object!
Ha ha, lucky he was younger then, I hope you have photos to embarass him now though!
I used to have a single parent friend who I was very envious of, she always had her children in named brands and I never understood where she got the money from. (I think that that was what was important to her, so found the money)
However she was a really stressy person and used to freak out if they got their clothes dirty or creased. I think I mentioned before somewhere on these boards, but one time I took them for a walk at the back of her house and there was a stream, I jumped across it and so did my daughter, but her friend was soooo paranoid about doing it, she hesitated for a long while, we eventually encouraged her to step on the stones and jump.....of course.....she fell in (it wasn't deep!). She was in absolute floods about what her mum would say. I felt really sorry for her and from then on always got my girl dressed as scruffily as possible when visiting them and going out and about and actively encouraged her to get dirty, just to prove a point. Was that cruel of me?
I think it sounds like healthy role-modelling, Anna.
Another mum I knew had a child to stay overnight and this child had an accident while they were out playing and her husband had naturally brought him back to the house to get cleaned up. She told me all about this afterwards, saying " I was really cross, there was some blood on my carpet"!!!!!!! I was a bit naughty and countered this with "...and how was the child after his awful accident?"
well I've finished the toughest part of the course :) now back at my first school, also applied for job there which is proving rather awkward...the department keep discussing the applications and passing the cvs around when I'm there but try to check I'm not listening or haven't noticed etc...its all just very awkward, when I walk into the office I see them hide this big blue folder that obviously has the applications in :( Bit anxious as not many other teaching jobs around in my area at the moment, turned down the chance of an interview elsewhere tomorrow as the commute would be 40 mins and with my son I figured I'm not happy travelling that far (every moment I have to travel is another moment for him at breakfast and after school clubs) but now all my eggs are in the one basket - ie the school where i am now. I just want to hide to be honest tonight. Feeling very stressed and worried and lonely. Roll on better times soon. Sometimes I want to not work for a while and see what happens but that seems wrong when I've worked so hard this year.
PS does anyone know how i can find out roughly what benefits I might be entitled to if I didn;'t work for a while? I don't want to make a formal enquiry and get involved with all the form filling yet, just find some ball park figures to help me think about this further. Also, is working full time or part time better from a tax credits point of view? I've always thought working full time was the only answer but someone mentioned if I work less than 16 hours I might be just as well off??? Anyone know how i could find out more??
Thanks
xx
Hello
You must be exhausted. Well done for surviving the toughest part of the course! Not long to go now.
Thinking about the financial aspects, as a single parent with a very young child you are entitled to Income Support. You would also get your Council Tax paid and if renting, your rent. However, if you are buying then there is no help towards the mortgage in the short term. Any child support you get will be taken off the benefits you receive, apart from a disregard of £20 per week. You can also earn up to £20 a week as a lone parent.
If working, if you do 16 hours a week you would receive Working Tax Credit. the amount varies with your wage level. At the 16 hours a week level you would probably still get some help with your rent and also continue to receive free prescriptions/dentist etc. Sometimes you are scarcely better off working fulltime, it depends on the job and the pay.
For more detailed information, email our specialist 1-2-1 money adviser privately using this link. None of the information goes on the boards; you will be sent a personal reply
http://www.onespace.org.uk/one-one-advice-0
Good luck, let us know how you get on
Hi, it is good to keep all your options open, DO email our one2one advisor, she is EXCELLENT and has worked with single parents for over 30 years.
I also came across a website recently and it has this Benefits Checker.
Well done for completing the toughest part of the course! You are doing brilliantly. I am sorry that you are feeling so alone with all of this, but we are all here rooting for you.
Let us know if it is worth your while going part time.
Strangely enough I was on benefits checker earlier...
Loads of hugs.
At least the "hard" bit of the course is out of the way now. I can imagine how worrying this next bit is for you.
My fingers are crossed for you, they really are.
xx
hi - thank you all so much for your kind comments and help. I will email the one to one adviser. Had a really stressful week. My job interview is on Monday, initially the school really encouraged me to apply but they received far more other applications than they were expecting. They have shortlisted 7 and we are all being interviewed on monday. Got to teach an hours lesson, do a presentation to staff and pupils about why i want to be a teacher, then formal interview, lunch with dept etc. Then at the end of the long day they tell us who they are offering the job too. Will be glad when its over and i know one way or the other. But i'm worried that if i don;t get this job the only other jobs available at the moment are a long journey away and it is getting very late now for more jobs to be advertised for September. Really should have started applying earlier.
Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine
xx
probably me doing something wrong cos i'm tired but...i tried to send a one to one message using the link and I can't view the form, when i try to login or register (why the page tells me i need to do to see the form) i get a message that access is denied...is there a problem with the site at the moment??
thanks
I don't think so but if the problem persists we will get the technical people to look at it.
In the meantime WOW, good luck for your interview!
Hi, the very best of luck for your interview on Monday. Fantastic that you were one of the ones to be shortlisted. That alone says a lot. I know you will be very disappointed if you don't get this job, but there will be others I'm sure. Maybe, like you said in a previous post, you could take time out. Monday will be a long day for you, but at least you'll be given the decision, so won't be left wondering. Fingers and toes will be crossed for you.
Hope you have a lovely weekend with your son. Any plans?
Take care
Alison
x
I will have everything crossed for you on Monday. You have so much to offer teaching, including your life experiences, which, I'm sure, will make you far more understanding of the way things can effect the students.
Hope you manage to relax and enjoy at least some of the weekend!
Hi,
wow its been a busy week, but....I GOT THE JOB!!!!!
Really really pleased, haven;t stopped smiling. The school is literally a mile and a half down the road so really easy in terms of time it takes to travel etc. They interviewed 7 of us, it lasted all day and was incredibly nerve racking, almost hugged the head teacher when he said I hadn't put a step wrong all day and was just the person they were looking for. It was sad to see so many of the others being disappointed tho. So very happy and relieved I don't have to look at other alternatives at poorer schools further away.
I'm on placement for the final bit of my course at the same school as I will be working in but not supposed to be actually teaching at the moment, just doing a project for uni. However when I arrived on Tues the head of dept asked me to take one class over immediately and then start full time at the end of June as soon as the course finishes. That is perfect for me, helps fund the long Summer break and also means I get to get to know the kids and all the procedures before I start properly in September. So this week its been nice taking the one class (who have 3 lessons per week), getting to know them all and telling them that I am their proper teacher now! Its also really odd to see how other members of staff are treating me very differently now to the rest of the uni students there, much chattier and including me in everything. I know its going to be stressful a lot of the time but hopefully its going to be a job I love and get plenty of satisfaction from.
Thanks for all your support - and lindsaygii, if you read this, keep going, it feels great when you get there!
xx
WOW AND DOUBLE WOW!!!!
That is so fantastic, you have done so well and I bet you are extremely proud of yourself. We certainly are very proud indeed of your achievement. You really deserve it after all your hard work, patience and sacrifice, what wonderful news
(TRUMPET FANFARE)
Congratulations. You so deserve it. You've gone through lots of stress, hard work etc, but now it's paid off. Well done. Your smile stretched from the top to the bottom of your post :) You're going to make a terrific teacher. I bet your son is doubly proud of you too. Hope you're celebrating at the weekend.
Take care
Alison
x
I'm so very happy and absolutely delighted for you!
I really, really am.
Here's to the future.
xxx
Thank you! Just returned from a nice holiday over half term and seen all your comments - they mean a lot, thanks. Was nice to be away and know that I have the job I always wanted ready and waiting for me. Son had a great break too - back to school for every one tomorrow boo hoo :( whilst I love teaching I hate the first day of term when I miss my boy soooo much!
Hey sorry its a bit late, but FANTASTIC NEWS!!!
Woop woop!
I am thrilled to hear you got the job, well done you. the next phase of your life is just around the corner....you did it!!
Did you manage to get through to the One2One advisor, please let me know, as I would hate for you to miss out on her knowledge and wisdom if you are in need of it.
I have just noticed that your original message was a year ago today!! How funny! Oh how life moves on, I hope you get a chance to sit back and reflect on the emotions and struggles that you have faced and overcome.
Star girl!!
Thanks Anna, I'm only just starting to calm down!
I didn't manage to get through to the one2one advisor, the web page kept telling me access was denied - not sure why, could have been my internet settings perhaps rather than the site itself?? It isn't urgent tho, I think if I hadn't got this job at this particular school then I would have seriously looked at part time options / benefits etc but with this school so handy I'm going to stick to what I always planned and work full time for a year or so and then assess if its feasible long term or if its just too exhausting etc. I suspect that if I started part-time I would never be brave enough to crank it up to full time so I think for me, this way round is best. Also this course has been full time with lots of uni work on top so surely it can't get any worse and at some point must get a whole lot easier, ie when I start teaching the same topic again and again etc.. I did have a quick look on direct.gov to see how my tax credits would change with the part time / full time option tho just out of interest really.
Thanks for all your support over the past year. I feel like after almost 3 years since my ex left I'm finally turning the corner - have moved house and now totally changed career, hopefully the biggest upheavals are behind me and I can just enjoy my son and my new job and have some calmer periods! Am sure will still have plenty of ups and downs on the way tho!
xx
Hi, its been great having you on board, I hope you stay around!
I was really nervous moving from part time to full time work, not only because of all the hassle of benefits changing, but wondered if I can cope. However after a while you get used to it and (as usual) take it all in your stride! I think this has been an incredibly tough and challenging year for you, but you have got through it. You are right, the hardest times are behind you. BIG CLAP ON THE BACK :)
Does this mean you can now relax for the summer? Have you got plans?
You been out celebrating yet?!! :-D
Hi, such a nice feeling, just got a week of half days at uni this week then course is finally complete on Friday!
Start my proper teaching job the following Monday (bit scared - can't use the student teacher excuse anymore...). Just teaching for 4 weeks then got the lovely 6 week holiday, planning to catch up with all the friends that I haven;t seen so much of this year due to all the studying.
Oh and isn't it funny....as soon as I feel really happy just being me and not worrying about being single...I have a date yesterday, another one next weekend and been contacted out of the blue by an old friend too... who said men are like buses, its so true isn't it?? I'm really not that bothered about a relationship unless it feels totally right, yesterday's drinks date was nice tho. Am keeping an open mind about him but certainly not rushing into anything, hes a single dad tho who obviously adores his son so thats good :) Just going to take it slow.
right i'm off to bed for an early night, i feel shattered at the moment!
I'm so glad you're 'almost there' with the course. So happy that you have this job too.
So proud that you have achieved your goal.
Enjoy the evening outs. Maybe not look at them as dates, but a social evening?? (Like I know what I'm talking about! lol)
Loads of hugs for this week.
Thanks Sparklinglime, really appreciate all the support you have given when I have been a grumpy miserable student!
Hope things are good with you, are you still contemplating looking for a job??
xx
Hiya
How lovely that you have half days this week, the weather is sensational and promises to stay that way - at least for the next 5 days anyway!
You have done soo well, I imagine that when you get in front of your class, because you are not a student teacher you may find that you have even more confidence, that you are the real deal and there is no messing around with you!
Your summer sounds like it is going to be fun filled what with all the free time and dates too!
I think sparklinglime is right, see this dates as social events, no strings attached, get to know people as friends and don't lead anyone on, its good to state what you are or are not looking for, so that you aren't suddenly in a difficult position.
Its great that you are meeting up with different men too, it can good for the soul to have the attention of the opposite sex! Enjoy yourself, but do keep us updated of any revelations you have along the way, we are all ears!
As you have half days this week does it mean you can enjoy the sun, or is there work to do at home?
Hi,
Well the half days are even better than I imagined as even when we are at uni all we have had to do is work outside in teams and devise a maths related treasure hunt. Tomorrow another team does ours and we try someone elses. Good fun and means the tan is coming along nicely!! On friday we have a photographer taking some official course photos and a farewell lunch. yesterday I let my son bring his friend back for tea after school as normally i can't do that midweek and tomorrow i need to take the car to the garage but its nice not feeling quite so frantic.
I am going to the cinema tomorrow evening with the guy i saw on Saturday - so far so good. he seems to be someone i can be quite honest with but will just see what happens. I am not interested in rushing things this time and he seems to think the same way so its all good so far. He has loads of different interests and spends a few evenings going to various clubs etc which i'm relieved about, i wouldn't want someone in my pocket all the time, i realise i do need my own space to do my things.
Monday and the proper job is coming round all too quickly but i'm not worrying about it...yet!
Hope everyone else is enjoying the sunshine too
x
Romance is in the air for you then. Whoopeee. Your life is really getting on track, and it sounds as if you're in a happy place right now. Have a wonderful time tomorrow night. Keep us informed :) :)
Its lovely when the children bring friends home after school, but I sooooo love shutting the door on them after hehehe.
Take care
Alison
x
uni sounds like fun! A bit like the last few days of the summer term at school when you don't really do much work and every one starts getting excited about the 6 weeks of freedom ahead.
It must feel soo good to be able to invite your son's friend over, your time is yours for a little while. Hopefully the days of frantic-ness are behind you!
I hope you have a fun evening tomorrow, you are so right to take your time, there is no rush, you have the rest of your lives and this part of romance is the best! Don't give too much of yourself away just yet, learn to be friends and most of all, have fun and enjoy the attention!
Hi everyone, thanks for the nice messages.
Mini rant tho now that I just need to get off my chest and unfortunately this is the safest place to do it!!
1) School in boring. They insisted i start as soon as my course finished but they have no real role for me until Sept. There is a lot of hanging around and then suddenly being dumped into lessons that I haven't prepared for cos no one bothers to tell me I'm needed. I keep asking what I can help with but that doesn't seem to get much of a response. Its just frustrating to be there and not have anything to do.
2) 6 weeks ago I began helping at Beaver Scouts, supposedly as an Assistant Leader. The 2 leaders always ignore me tho. Every week I am super friendly, offer to help, ask what we are doing the following week etc but just get told its all in hand. Literally all there is that I can do is stand at the side and watch. I'm reaching the stage where I'm going to say - look you said you were desperate for another pair of hands and for people to volunteer, so try to include me! oh and they ignore my son too, they routinely give out stars etc and even tho he is the only child actually behaving he gets ignored everytime - so frustrating to see!
3) my son is very upset tonight as he says school is too noisy and busy and he can never find anywhere quiet. He doesn't like play fighting (probably my fault, I don't encourage it!) and gets upset when thats all the other children are doing. he has been crying for about an hour. I hate seeing him so upset. I've offered to talk to his teacher about it but he said that he is happy to speak to her first. I suppose at home he's used to quite a calm environment - just him and me - and he struggles with the general noise and busy-ness of schools - have I done the wrong thing sending him to quite a large school ?
4) Had a great time at the cinema last week on my second date with nice guy - supposed to be seeing him again at the weekend. I'm feeling needy tho and altho i know its healthy that we only speak every few days I could really do with him cheering me up right now. Am sticking to my guns tho and not ringing him as i know i'm not in the greatest mood.
Sorry to be miserable
Hello
Lots going on for you!
Hope you feel better for getting that off your chest?
1. Yes, that does sound boring, and frustrating too. Luckily there are only three weeks to the end of term. Hope you can take something to do in between in terms of a book or something else interesting. You will get your place in September, thank heavens.
2. You know the thing you feel like saying to the two of them? well.....why don't you say it?
3. It's hard when your child is unhappy isn't it? You can talk to the teacher, maybe don't leave it too long, even though he says he can handle it. As for the large school, sounds to me as if you have done the right thing. If he is used to calm at home, then it is good for him to learn about different situations.
4. As for your date, hopefully you will feel a bit more comfortable further down the line to share your worries and frustrations, you're right that it is early days.
I bet you are looking forward to the summer hols!!!
I'm so glad you enjoyed the cinema. I'm guessing I shouldn't really comment on romance though. I still have an ex b/f who is a friend but who likes to tell people we're still an item.
Puts me off men for life, I'm afraid. Even the friendship is being pushed, but I'm stuck as the children love him to bits.
Two weeks left to go with school. Would you be able to prepare some quizes or maybe start a topic for debate? Then when you are chucked into a lesson with someone going "surprise" you can reach into your bag and feel - I don't like to use the word smug... I just feel everyone is on the wind down and finding enthusiasm for anything is difficult. It shouldn't be an excuse though, I know.
I'm sorry that your not feeling welcome in the Beaver Scouts. I know the assistant leader in the Beavers here has a hard time with the leader. In theory, there's no reason why that can't tell you what's going on next week as they should have a programme planned. If it were me, I wouldn't stay. However, if you lived by me I'd be pleading with you to do Scouts... ;-)
Hi, things will improve lots for you in September, so bear with it for the last few weeks.
When I read about your tearful son, it soooo reminded me of C. I didn't encourage play fighting really either, so when he started school, like your son, mine loathed it. He didn't feel comfortable at all. Two years down the line, he now joins in or starts the game off!!!! It does get a bit rough for him though I have to say. Its great that your son feels able to approach the teacher for himself, so grownup. As for the busy-ness of the school as well as the noise, he will adjust to it. My friends son loathed sitting in the hall for lunch because of the loudness of it all, but he's settled down now.
Have fun this weekend with the new guy.
Take care
Alison
x
Hi, I agree with all of the above!!
Just wondering if your son would be interested in some sort of martial arts, I fully agree about not wanting him to be violent, however it seems as though this is a way that boys communicate and I was wondering whether it was a case of your son really just not liking it, or whether he didn't know how to??
This is not advice, just thinking out loud as I have never met your son.
I hate it when they are unhappy and I do far too much to see my daughter smile. I wonder if there is anything else bothering him? (Oh no, I hear you cry!! )Don't worry not in a big way, just something else on his mind that he can't put into words??
Is he happy you going out with your date? Does he feel excluded? Can he sense your excitement, frustration, neediness, boredom, all your emotions that you are feeling at the time of writing your message, regarding, school, beavers etc?
It may be a way of distracting you from your worries? I only say this as I have been pondering this of my own daughter from when she was younger.
Sorry to bombard you with that, I hope that all those feelings have now moved on and you are ready for a school free weekend! Light hearted chats with your date and relaxing fun with your boy :)
Hi,
The job situation sounds very frustrating...is it worth whenever you get really fed up reminding yourself how great it will all look on your CV?
I'm a bit pushy so feel free to laugh at my opinions but i would have a word with the Beaver leaders. Perhaps emphasis a skill you do have and make a proposal 'I'm thinking of running a cake making session, shall we do this next tuesday?'
It always makes me a bit sad that we're pressured into thinking our boys should love to fight and be noisy. Its wonderful that your son is an individual; why shouldn't he be able to express his sensitivity? Perhaps the school should be looking at how they are supporting him; individuality is really central to the modern curriculum.
http://curriculum.qcda.gov.uk/
Plus aren't you an NQT? You could dazzle them with somecurriculum related statistics!
The bullyingUK website has some useful stuff advisnig parents on how to engage with schools when they have concerns about thier children.
http://www.bullying.co.uk/index.php/parents/
Have you tried selecting some liked-minded children and inviting them round for tea? My kids friends tend to be very very nice to them leading up to a potentially extremly fun playdate.
I love the idea of outside interests as well...does your son have any hobbies?
HelenT
Hi, thanks for all your lovely messages.
Thankfully things seem much better today. I sent a note to school today about the issue and the teacher spoke to my son at length about the problem, as did the head teacher. They are all going to work together about how they can create some quiet areas and activity areas at playtime. Son feels really involved in it all and keep thinking up ideas that he is going to pass on next weekend. Helen - its not that he has no friends. He is one of the most popular in his class, he regularly has a range of people to play and gets invited to others houses too. he goes to swimming and football as well as beavers, no time for more hobbies! I think the martial arts suggestion is good, I did try to take him about a year ago as I thought it might make him more confident with physical contact but he hated it. I think he was just too young at the time. Will probably try again when he's a bit bigger. Oh and yes, I am an NQT but in a secondary school.
Beavers - I'll wait to see what happens next week. Will definately be more assertive tho!
My school - much better today, really its a good opportunity to get to know everyone and all the procedures before sept and I just have to make the most of it.
Date - he rang last night! and i managed not to grumble about my day, felt loads better after a nice normal chat with him. he just seems like a 'nice bloke' and believe me, I've not dated many of those before! Seeing him on sunday evening :) been a long time since i've had a third date with anyone! still going to take it slow tho. he's so reliable - ie makes plans and sticks to them but doesn't bombard me with texts or calls etc in between, suits me perfectly as i have too much going on to drop everything for anyone and wouldn't want to anyway. he has lots of different interests and spends loads of time with his son. oh and he's pretty gorgeous, clever and funny too ;)
Hope you all have good weekends
Sounds like things are feeling a bit more resolved in your mind. Hope you have an enjoyable date on Sunday and also a fab weekend with your little one
Awfully quiet here today without my 7 year old. He had a lovely holiday, and I so wish it could have been longer. Despite my moaning, haha, I do really miss him. I hope your day goes well at school, no hiccups or anything!! Also hope you managed to get your work done.
Take care
Alison
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