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Best wishes Imdoingthis
Thanks sparking x
Night out to free myself from stress me thinks x
Brilliant Imdoingthis, what a great insight. Yes we do have to make our own mistakes and yes we do make them, but they are our mistakes!
My ex used to be very good at wallpapering, when I moved into different accommodation my neighbour wallpapered the baby's rooom and made a right botch job of it. I was furious. When I moved to this flat, I did the wall papering, ok so it wasn't perfect but it was bleeding good and I botched when I needed to!!
Generally I think this is what life is all about....and parenting too, we make mistakes, but we learn from them and grow, however at all times we must remember to NOT berate ourselves. Everyone makes mistakes. We just need to own them and learn from them!
Any news on the pregnancy?
Anna Im not pregnant, again I learnt from my mistake , I need to be a bit more responsible.
But I'm onto it.
It's freezing here and I'm wearing a dress tonight :-/
Is this another mistake ;-) ??
A dress? That is brave. Hope you managed to have a night out ok, IDT
Yes we all makes mistakes and all we can do is learn from them.In fact, I reckon by the time I have learned what I need to know, I will be 90, haha.
Have the children broken up for half term now? Wonder if you have any plans, remember that recent day when you were all out together, that sounded fab. We have some snow here this morning!!!!
Snow! Jeeze
I bottled the dress in the end it was just a bit too cold ;)
Had a good night out with a friend x
My children was off for half term last week they go back Monday.
Got to keep on being good now and putting my children first, feel like I need to rebel and be bad ;( well like I said time to grow up x
aha I know that feeling of wanting to rebel. I sometimes feel about 13 again and it is particularly stong in me when a load of people are telling me what to do, which is what has happened to you lately!
Glad you had a good night out, just what you needed. Onwards and upwards 
hi im doing this aw glad u went out,u deserved to, was u cold lol, its sunny ere ,no snow,how are u doin so glad u get to keep ur kidsx
Got to go baCk to court for two day final hearing yet.
It's crap why are these men allowed to do this?
Someone please tell me
Feeling so upset I carnt put it to words I lost my ability my confidence doing my nut as to what to do I'm stuck I'm trapped
hi hun how are u, aw u seemed b bit beta as well, xx
I don't know what to do
Kiera do u see it like he has a free ticket to get to me ?
I have been told not to ring police not to do x y z I'm confused the police are ment to help me and now I don't know what to do anymore
I'm upset now
hi hun not to ring police ,police are meant to elp u, cafcass man ad ago at me sayin how ringin police as prob effected the kids, and it isnt gud, and i said so shud i just do n othin then when im scared, u cant win, u ring police hun if u feel u need to s*d wot courts think, they dont av a clue they are not in ur shoes, ad drink hun,brandy so myt spell wrongx
The courts or caffcas don't know what you had to live with for years and years, and when your that scared it's b*llocks. It gives them a free ticket and children are sent a very confusing message today, so some say don't live with dv get your kids out the police SS say it's wrong but on the tail end including the caffcass courts they send the 'opposite ' message to children and victims of dm, you carnt F*CKIN win it's joke Cafcas support dv and perpetrators yep round of a plaids to cafcas load of shit. Putting children first ha ha yep ok. Kiera you carnt win x
Stuck carnt do right for doing wrong
Ring the police or don't ring the police?? Well been advised not to FFs nothings normal anymore
So effectively he's got a free ticket so yet again the courts the 'system' is allowing him to continue SS he knows dame well I won't be pressing my alarm or 3 9's
So if he turns up here? I ignore him
If he's trying to get in I'll have to call them
If he leaves things ignore it?
If it's knifed again, roport it?
Morning IDT
What reason did they give for telling you not to ring the police?
I'm harming the children with the police involvement, lately it's been to try to get to my children with good reason like keeping them off school for a week and not going to a gp etc
hi hun thts wot cafcass said to me tht it wasnt gud for children to see police at my door all tym, i said i tym i felf scared and i needed ring police i said it wasnt tht simple ,i saisd i didnt ring police for a laff, like u said hun u cant bloody winx
u rright im doing this u cant win, u feel confused and the authorities dont av a clue at all, ope ur ok hun, xx
It like you carnt win if you don't report things SS get involved tell you your not protecting you kids and it was heading to maybe protection plans then I report stuff and carcass say I'm wrong yep this helps family's and children to understand it all. Ahhhhhh want to scream like I said stupid f*cked up system
I just want him
And people to leave me alone and let us get on with our lives, well it's him dragging us through this my kids told him they don't want to live with him and he said that's not his choice ... Well hello it it as he's the one taking me to court !
i wish everyone wud leave me alone, wish didnt av to go court and wish cafcass wasnt cumin to see me, avnt we bin thru enuffx
Yes we have but these men seem to us the system to carry on putting us through more, The problem is that the system and the courts etc don't see this do they xx
no they dont, i got told i failed to protect my kids as i kept avin him back thts after hearing tht my ex ad new baby and girlfriend and violent past, like tht isnt enuf cafcass tell me my kids are emotionaly damaged, like it was all my fault, i said they are not damaged their school reports show tht, as they don fantastic, then i ad go in court and face tht scumbag, x
ex lied on coiurt paper sayin im refusin him acess to our litle girl cos he finished it with me, ha wot joke, i ended it and he harssed me for weeks, he asnt stopped lieing,
It's just all wrong Hun x
All I can say that is when this is sorted out I won't be entering into a relationship again, what's mine belongs to me and my kids now and I'll never have 'joint' asets again!
I will not be wanting a man under my table again ether
When's court?
nov 21st, i ope lady from sure start can cum with me again, dont want to go on my own, did u go on ur ownx
My friends came with me, can you ask the sure start lady soon? Might put your mind at rest a little xx
hi im doing this well i wrote letter to lady boss to ask cud she cum woth me to court for support, so wait and see,how are u today, xx
Hi Imdoingthis, how are you this morning, it sounds as though you had a bit of a melt down yesterday.
I agree with kiera, if you need the police you call them. However if they ask you to press charges, you say Yes.
Have you spoken to Womens Aid recently?
PS - great news about not being pregnant! Right now I am sure it is the last thing you needed?
Duty bound to trip and fall.
Tied by him
Wound and wound
Black sash bound
Little by little
Piece by piece
Her aids to save her
Stride to reach
Blinded by light or
Afrad to touch
Out to grasp her
To rock their piece
Gagged and bound
Tounted sole
Reach deep my baby
Your sashes have hold
Drifting away
Her aids tonight
She's gagged herself
With no insight
He's watched in delight
To see her burn
tie and Hang herself
by his cruel turn
Her help, her sourse
Her bed of gold
Her grass greener
Her life on hold
No body
No help
Which way to turn
Run baby run
Burn baby burn
Arrows point
Left , right
Every directions pulls her gags tight
Tighter and tighter
They draw her skin
Her heart stops trying
To escape him
The more she tries
The more he grins
This cheshire's grinning
From end to end
The moral of this
Is simply this
Don't even try it
Don't attempt to leave.
Thanks for sharing that.
Don't attempt to leave....You mention this quite a lot over this thread. I am wondering if you are questioning that in reality or it is just something that goes on in your head.
That if you went back to him all of this would be over....or whether actually he is still all over you?
Anna I don't understand the second part of what you wrote,
hi im doin gthis well angel on this forum as said sum really important stuff, like courts av facts bout my ex and caza on ere er ex,we av dun nothin wrong our exs av, its my ex with the long violent criminal record not me ,its my ex who ad secret life and lied to me and my kids in a massive way not me, only crim ei did was keep takin him bk, and wot, uav dun nothin wrong hun yet u feel like u av, x
Hi Imdoingthis, what I wrote does sound a bit odd sorry. What I was meaning was are you thinking that if you went back to him that court, cafcass, etc would all be over.
Or, is it because he is harrassing you and part of you thinks it would be easier to let your defences down and let him back into your life full on?
kiera, littleangel has been great hasn't she, I am glad that you feel inspired by her and what she has written. There is a lot to be said about looking at it from a different angle.
Imdoingthis, littleangel has been describing her experience of going to court was for her and the bottom line is - You have done nothing wrong, you are just trying to protect your children. (I know that you said you have done something that you wish you hadn't, but that was in the past now) From what you have said on here, you are trying really hard to move forward and away from under his cloud.
Anna yes it would end the court process etc.
I want it all to stop.
Attempt to leave Anna I mean like
Because at first I didn't think I could
Then things got worse
Then I had no leave
Realised I could and had to
This needs to be done with me in one peacewith my children and free to LIVE a happy in order for it to be successful.
You Can Do This - I 100% believe in you.
Thankyou
I don't believe in the system it's ment to protect me but most important my children it's sad.
Yes I agree the system is just unbelieveable.
How are you this morning IDT? You were strong and got through the court day, I know it feels like it will never end but you are moving forward, slowly but surely.
We were talking on another thread about doing little things to cheer ourselves such as buying a bunch of flowers, do you fancy doing that too?
hi im doing this how are u cafcass woman cumin round monday to do risk assessment, i feel ok tho, did cafcass cum to ur ome xx
Hi I'm ok today had support worker here today but she's closing my case now ;(
Things to do for yourself hmmm I will think but I'm not really a flower person.
Kiera yes cafcas did two visits to my home, less than 2 hours in total, she cancelled my last app.
She was very friendly and made me feel at ease.
well she does seem really nice on the fone, she said to see risk towards me regardin contactx
Well that seems good then that are doing the risk assessment x
Let us know how u get on x
i will hun thanks ,mean i dont no wot he as dun to his other family, but cafcass wil noxshe is cumin wed not monday, forgot got take my son to hospital mondayx
Morning IDT
Not a flower person? what is a nicer treat for you then?
The support worker has signed you off, good on the surface but it sounds like you feel fed up about that?
Im nededing help Im I don't know
I'm ok thanks exhausted and doing some thinking.
I have a lot to think about my behaviours not been the best although it's been induced by him, I have to be a big girl now, remember my poem about being tucked under his wing? Well iv never had chance to make mistakes and lern from them never had a life outside my prety prison so I needed to do that, now is time to grow up for my children x