Could be my letter has had some sort of effect, (long may it carry on). C was hit by the boy yesterday, witnessed by other children in the playground. When C told his teacher, the boy was kept in for 5 mins of the next playtime. I shall still note this down, so I can refer back to it, if need be.
x
Five minutes...
A start??
I personally think he should be kept in for the whole of the playtime, increasing it each time, until eventually he is in all week, should his behaviour carry on. Is that a bit harsh?? Not in my books, hehe.
I know in primary school here they lost their whole playtime.
I'm guessing this is down to teachers wanting their breaks! (This was a lot of what happened with the change of Head in the primary. The teachers were "always" there and seemed happy to be. Free to talk to parents, and definitely an open door policy. With the new Head, she stopped them mingling - and the door was slammed rather loudly).
So no. I don't feel you're being harsh.
Good that you have noted it down. I think the time the boy is kept in should escalate until he understands that it is not Ok to hit other children!
Cannot find anywhere on School's website, as to where to send letter to Chair of Governors. Guess I'll just have to take it into school, and ask the secretary. I am requesting copies of C's school records, and want them sooner rather than later. ACE told me that they have 15 days to send them to me.
Yes, ask the secretary and if you have any bother then contact the Local Education Office and ask them the contact details of the Chair of Governors.
I am really sorry to hear your son is suffering at the hands of this bully again this year. Have just read through the thread (well, only this years ) to catch up.
It made me mad 
I hate these situations, have been in them quite a few times myself & had to write letters of complaint etc. These schools all seem to behave the same way, try & sweep it under carpet & make light of it & then the more you have to go in the more of a pain they make you feel you are! this is how it often made me feel anyway.
I hope you get somewhere with your letter. It is good i suppose that your son still wants to go in! 
but i wonder, do you think he is internalising it all? or does he not show it for fear of looking a wimp? I have to wonder because my children did not want to go into school when it happened to them, although they did have other issues with school as well, where as if your son likes school in general then maybe that is why he puts up with it.
Goodluck with it Alisoncam.
was up late with my son last night, he was actually crying about going into school on Monday, (it takes a lot for that to happen, it means he really is at his most anxious) he has spent the whole weekend worrying about it, he did last weekend too, but when he went in on Monday he came out ok, although he was more stressed than usual but he SAID he was ok. The pattern is forming like it was before. will see what happens.
Pansy x
Hi Pansy. I'm so sad for your son. He was really looking forward to starting school, and then, a setback.
You are right about schools making you feel as if 'we' are a pain for complaining, but I won't stop complaining until this is sorted out AGAIN. Year 1 and Year 2 was an absolute nightmare. C loves school, is extremely bright, and that's what they were focusing on, because he never showed that he didn't want to be there. It wasn't the teachers that saw change of behaviour, sleepwalking, grinding teeth in sleep, etc. I pointed this out to them a number of times. I have always told C not to show the bullies that he is scared or anything, as that would mean bully had won! Also the same with attending school. Why should a bully stop a child enjoying all other aspects of school!!!
Now he has just started Junior school, (which is attached to the Infant school), the pattern of this bully begins again.
I really hope your son has a better day today, and the thought of school doesn't weigh down on you both. It's heartbreaking isn't it?
Best of luck to you both.
x
Its dreadful when children are so anxious about school. I hope your son feels a bit brighter today Pansy. In times gone by, teachers could hit and bully children. This was quite rightly nipped in the bud. It seems, however, as if it has gone too far the other way as some children now seem to get away with all sorts.
In my own experience, it is somthing to do with schools not wanting to admit they have a problem. Therefore a good tactic to take might seem to be any bad publicity that might result from them not sorting it out.I know when I visited my boys' secondary school before eldest started, I asked about their anti-bullying policy. I was met with a cold stare and the statement "We don't have any bullying here." Yeah, right.
No better today i'm afraid 
it is all he can think about.
Trouble is he was not supposed to be at school, his educational Psychologist stated that he was not able to cope with a school situation & so did a Dr, but the 'out of school service' got a new manager & she said NO he has been home educated therefore we can not help. The reason he was being home educated was because he could not cope with school, then he could not cope with doing any work which made me realise why he was not coping at school. He is capable but like my eldest daughter & some other children with Aspergers the anxiety of everything is to much.
My eldest daughter could not go to school & at age 11 was taken on by the 'out of schools service' who began by sending her a tutor to the house once a week, this bult up to her doing outdoor activitys & then going into a small centre for some lessons until during her last two years there she was going somewhere everyday but still getting her two hrs with her tutor on her own once a week. it was the best thing ever & she has thrived & grown in confidence & is now at college.
I am really cross that i have tp put him through this in order to get some where!
I had hoped that maybe now he was older he would cope, but i know him better than anyone & I knew deep down that all day at school would be to much. he has come out every day & said he loves it & he does! But he still can't cope with it.
I will talk to them tomorrow & see what they can come up with, IF i can get him there without him having a meltdown, if that happens he will hide his face & not speak, he could not sleep last night & is not eating properly, he just wants me to tell him he does not have to go, which i can't. my plan is to get him as far as i can & hope he comes out of school & says it was fine again. it will happen again but maybe after time IF we get that far, it will die down. we will see.
Have been for an hr walk with him & dog in the fresh air & sunshine, he is very down.
Pansy
Oh my gosh, not at all Pansy. That's what this thread is for, bullying and children, how parents can deal with it at the school, (or not as the case might be), etc etc.
I think the system stinks. I thank my lucky stars that C is handling things. It's so unfair on all those concerned. You're doing all you can for your son. I really wish him well for tomorrow.
x
Hi HelenT. I didn't give a time-scale for my letter sent in on Friday, but if I've not heard by next Friday, then I shall enquire. The Chair of Governors, ACE told me that I should hear something within 15 days. I've yet to get their address so I haven't even asked for copies of son's school records yet!!! Have to say not looking forward to him going, he is fine though, it's just me!!!!
Hi Helen. When I wrote the letter on Friday, I added that I would be requesting C's records from the chair of govs. I didn't actually realise until today that I have to go through the school, ie, write to the chair of gov, put his name on envelope, and school do it from there. My friend who came over tonight used to be Head teacher, and she filled me in on it. For one reason or other, I don't actually say too much to her regarding C and school, but I happened to mention it to her.
Thankyou for the links.
x
He did thankyou HelenT. The child in question has also been moved from my son's topic table. I actually feel that this time I'm being listened to, but I guess only time will tell.
x
Glad that C had a better day, alisoncam 
Yes I do find it all draining, but I won't give in. I was concerned last week about the fact that I will be starting the volunteering again, and hoping that a job will come out of this. My concern was because when I mentioned it to the Head, after giving him the letter, his words were 'shouldn't affect me volunteering, rather than won't. C's welfare obviously comes first, and if that meant that I would not be allowed to continue volunteering in his school, then I would have gone elsewhere. Like I say though, I was concerned.
Am hoping to start the volunteering again this week. Just waiting on C's teacher to confirm the days. Next week I shall be starting again with year 4.
HAY! alisoncam! when ever I have my six monthly 'why haven't you got a job yet' interview at the Job Centre Plus®™ the (justifying my job) woman there always mentions class room assistant, is that what you do?
Sorry if I've got the wrong end of the stick.
: )
Cos I thought you got paid for that and you say 'volunteering'
Just wondering.
Hi Bubblegum. I've chosen to do volunteering at the school, (not paid), with the hope that something will turn up at the school for me, (paid work for 16 hours). I didn't want to go to college to do the course, and I know someone that did what I'm doing, and eventually she landed a classroom assistant post. She's been doing it for 10 years now.
All I do is, have children sent out to me, one at a time, and I listen to them read. These are called 'catchup' children.
Is this something you are thinking of doing? I think it is the best option for school hours etc, and I won't have C sent to a childminder. That's the plan anyway.
My son gets that, 'catchup' business : )
I'm the same though I don't want my children being sent to childminders through the holidays, before and after school, I don't think that's good for them, personally. I think they should be at home or wandering the hills with me, not stuck with childminders watching videos & DVDs, which is my experience of the child minding services mine have used during the courses I've been put on.
Good for you though and I hope it goes OK, doing some sort of job like that is ideal for single parents that way you get the holidays off with them : )
Have you been changed over already Bubblegum from IS to JSA? What courses have you been sent on?
No I'm still on IS, my daughter is only just six so I have nearly a year to go. When I used to live in Llangefni which is a small ish sort of market town I went on lots of courses, the kids were about around two to four at the time and so they used to get to go in various crèches for an hour or two, the one at Bernardoes was good and the staff played with them and they painted and drew and had stories but all the other ones they were just sat down in a room with a DVD player and left to vegetate, they became bored and played up.
Bernardoes was good though, in fact Bernardoes is where I first went when I was on my own and asked what was there for single parents and I did lots of stuff through them, amazing charity, I don't know if they are country wide but in Anglesey they do a lot and go around the out of reach rural areas, not just for single parents but parents and kids in general.
: )
I went on a parenting course and some sort of art cources, just stuff for parents, getting them out and doing stuff and a few of them involved taking your kids and playing with them, reading with them and making stuff, those sorts of thing. I loved it : )
In my past I've been on numerous how to write a CV, conduct yourself in interviews, apply for jobs type courses. I've done ECDL twice : ) on account of I didn't tell the second lot I'd already done it, I have some Microsoft certificate to maintain networks of some sort. There is a whole industry of get people back to work type things but all the ones I've been on are just part of a mechanism for shuffling unemployed figures around. At one time I got ten quid a week extra and my bus fair paid, went to some college every day and was no longer classed as unemployed.
It was kind of disheartening to see lots of middle aged people keen and eager to get into work and week after week still there, still doing courses and getting qualifications that had no real word value what so ever. I spent my time teaching them how to download movies and music and cracked software.
I expect when I go to the Job Centre Plus®™ the (justifying my job) woman there probably looks at my page on her computer and sighs at my lack of direction and general motivation in getting a proper job over the last thirty years.
She's probably reminded of Victor Meldrew as well, or Alf Garnett even :)
I know I go on.
You do have to be careful about childminders, creches and the like. The only thing I ever used was the after school club at the boys' primary school; they played outside if it was fine and if cold or wet, there were activities like painting and model-making or they would do a play with the dressing up box for costumes. They both really enjoyed it.
I also had a friend who would have my youngest over to play and my employers were good enough to give me odd bits of money so I could pay her, if they wanted me to work later, but I stopped that after I arrived back to find that my child had hurt his hand in the patio door when the mother "had just popped to see a neighbour" and had therefore left them alone in the house!
OMG, no wonder you stopped that Louise. This is precisely why I don't trust anyone to have C for me.
Bubblegum, could you perhaps get some sort of work (from home maybe) to do with computers. You're a whizz on them, and know the technical stuff etc.
I do that anyway... for free! to friends and family and friends of : ) I'm on a one man mission to bring down PC World.
Seriously though, I'm not really bothered about money, I mean I need it but it's not important and I have enough more or less, I mean I don't have everything I want but I have everything I need.
More or less : )
What I do computer wise keeps me in wine from time to time, so I'm happy.
Hi Bubblegum,
I have worked in education and echo your frustration at so many of these 'courses' which are valueless in applying for work and education, I do worry about when they are made compulsary
I too have had some bad experiences with childcare but also some really positive ones. All three of mine have been to the same (wonderful) nursery which ten years on has the same staff. My elder two children remember it really fondly and love collecting thier younger brother with me as it brings back all sorts of memories. Nursery isn't right for everyone but for me it was a case of finding the right one.
HelenT
Cannot sleep!
C was pinched and pushed yesterday at school. The same boy also did similar things to other children too, so this morning, there are at least 4 of us Mums (that I know of) who are going in to complain. I have half written my letter to the teacher, as I want her to have mine in writing. I spoke to her on Monday about this boy kicking C three times last Friday.
Hi,
Good luck : )
I just woke up and can't get back to sleep so I'm playing on my computer : )
I found this, TVCatchup you can watch TV online, all the free view stuff you just have to make an account, it's free and then you can watch all the free view channels online.
Excelent : )
Another early bird eh Bubblegum. Are you ok? Just can't sleep? I shall take a look at that link, once I've completed my letter.
Letter finished phew. As I was told earlier this week that there is nothing in my son's file regarding previous complaints and correspondence from Year 1 and Year 2, I have written in letter for today, what C has put up with, ranging from hair pulling, punching, pinching, kicking, skipping ropes lashed out in back and tummy, plus have listed what has been happening since the start of September, (just in case, these complaints haven't been logged). Have asked that the teacher and I get together to discuss these issues at her convenience. Will wait and see on that one, as she didn't even bother replying to my last letter, and I asked for it in writing!!! I did end on a positive note, by saying that C is enjoying having her as a teacher, and despite what is going on, has settled into the Juniors well.
I do feel a bit cross, as my friend's daughters pencil case was drawn on last week by this boy, it was of a naked woman! Anyhow, friend went in, wrote a letter, and the teacher couldn't apologise enough, the school have taken a picture of the pencil case and stuck it to the letter of complaint. I do feel this matter was taken more seriously than my complaints of bullying. Maybe I don't come across as stern and severe when I'm complaining!!!
Anyhow, letter is done.
Thanks for the TV link, Bubblegum, my son will be particularly delighted Here's one that I use, it has BBC and C4 recent programmes and a load of old stuff, I watched the whole series of This Life again here and it is also free!
Hello alisoncam
That sounds a really good idea to list everything in one go and also you have been specific: you want a meeting with the teacher.Experts at complaining always say in their guidelines: be clear about what you are complaining about and be specific about what you want the other party to do. At the meeting I suggest you ask her why the pencil case incident received greater censure than the violence the boy is inflicting on C and others.
It is really good if others are also making the same complaints, keep a note of who they are and at the meeting you could also say you know that XXX (the other children) have also been picked on.
I know you are a lovely person but try not to be too lovely when you go to the meeting. You don't have to be angry or nasty, just work out a few phrases like "I would like to know what is going to be done about this bullying" and "So you are telling me that you are going to do XXXXX. What is the procedure for me if things do not improve? Is there one of the school governors who is particuarly interested in discipline?"
Helen T knows a lot about the procedures for all this so she would be a good person to ask.
Have to say the teacher looked very stressed and not very happy as she saw me approaching this morning, holding the dreaded letter. She had already seen 3 Mums before me!!!! I will see if I can have a quiet word with her at 3.30, even if it is just to ask when she thinks she can discuss it all. I do know she was quick to point out to another Mum that she wasn't at school yesterday, the children had a supply, and I knew that the 'bully' would have a field day, and had actually prepared C for this!!!
Thankyou for your pointers, I'll be sure and take notes etc.
One of the Mums said she felt quite sorry for this boy's mum, but I'm sorry, I've got past that stage. It has been going on for too long now with C. Maybe this Mother's permanant smile slapped on her face is a way of giving the impression that she doesn't care, maybe it is an embarrassed smile, but her child is looking up at that when the teacher is telling her what he got up to that day, and I'm guessing he's thinking, 'well, she's still smiling, so it's ok'. Just my take on it of course!!!!
Yes I have noticed that women in particualr tend to smile at unpleasant things; we are taught when small that we "should" please people and we "should" not be nasty. This can give the wrong message to others, if we smile then do we really mean what we have said? That is why I was suggesting you were not too lovely when you went in; a serious expression can give extra weight to your words
Thankyou.
I have my cane with me, hehe
C had a message from the teacher for me. I will be getting a letter tomorrow. I'm actually in the school first thing for a fun maths thing with our kids, so maybe she'll have a word then, or she might have chosen the letter rather than chat to me. Perhaps I am scary after all, lol
Glad to hear you will be getting a proper response!!!
That's good...
Thank goodness another parent is there with you. Hopefully more will come forward now.