Well... we're not going anywhere either :D
I'm sure the children will have a plan or two, but other than Scouty things, and ex-father-in-law's birthday tea (children aren't invited to his birthday party - his 80) that's it in our diary. And a haircut for the children.
Alison, do enjoy the peace of a week off.
xxx
Hi alisoncam
it would be worth having a word with the other mum and make sure she HAS written. People don't complain enough about things, in my opinion. I am a serial complainer. I also write letters of praise and thanks when the occasion arises. I went to Morecambe earlier in the year and went out for fish and chips. There were two teens running the restaurant. I wrote to the owner afterwards and said how courteous they had been and that the service had been outstanding. Getting back to your boy, hopefully the head will have to take notice and you can have a few late mornings in jamas next week!
Hi C-L
Enjoy your time away at your Mum and Dads. I'm sure the kids love seeing their grandparents, and it gives you a bit of a chance to have relaxation time!
I think I'm being battered from all sides this week! I have just posted something about trouble with BT. God, if it's not one thing, it's another. I think today, I am at breaking point.
Have a great time with your parents
Take care
Alison
x :)
Hi alisoncam
I don't know if we have discussed this before and I have given this link to you before, but it has a sample letter about bullying for the school and the whole protocol of dealing with school bullies:
http://http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/advice-about-education-for-parents/Bullying/tackling-bullying.htm
I wondered if you could show the other parent who's child is being bullied the sample letter? it might help them, some people feel very small against the authorities, it might help?
How has this half of term been for your boy?
Hi Anna
All has been fine since my son returned after the weeks break thanks. I have spoken to the other Mum, and so far, so good for her lad too. :D
I have seen that link before, but again thankyou.
How have you been? I see you are back and raring to go!!!
Take care and have a lovely weekend Anna
Alison
x :)
Hi alisoncam, thanks for your message, yes I am back and I am raring to go :? No really I am!!! :?
Glad to hear that is all is going ok with your son in school at the moment, have you considered getting on the board of governors, I think you would be excellent?
Hi Anna
Board of Governors??? Me????? :o My goodness, I would cause uproar I think ;) I also think the Head would resign if she saw me on it. :lol: :lol: Uhmmmm, worth thinking about it, just to see that happen. :P
Hi Anna
Board of Governors??? Me????? :o My goodness, I would cause uproar I think ;) I also think the Head would resign if she saw me on it. :lol: :lol: Uhmmmm, worth thinking about it, just to see that happen. :P
I put my name forward to be a Governor, and was one for eight years. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was good to learn how the school worked, and I know what I did contribute was listened to.
The main reason I agreed to put my name forward as I figured it would be handy to be part of it all if my third child ( my special boy) got into a position where he'd be expelled :roll: :D
It didn't come to that though.
Got moidered by a few parents who I was sometimes a bit direct with, but it really was good.
I'd say go for it. You would be brilliant as you could bring in different view points, perhaps, to the others.
yes you would be a breath of fresh air alisoncam! although with what is going on with your sister, maybe you need to see how her treatment goes before taking on another commitment?
sparkling lime, I bet you were great on the Board!
I bet you were great too sparkling. And I think alisoncam would be too. They are advertising at my daughters secondary school and although there aren't really enough hours in the day, I am considering it. I think you have to be voted in if there is more than one applicant. :shock:
It seems to me that the Board that I know of consists of professional marrieds and I would like to stand up for the parents who are raising children on their own and find that £25 needed for a trip next week can sometimes prove to be impossible :evil:
And even though there maybe a hardship fund, some people have more pride than to approach them time after time, to only be told when they do, well, we like you to pay at least half, but pay what you can.....How about £2? that's all I have till next week.....!
Ooh a bit of a rant there! Was talking to a single parent friend yesterday who told me the above story, she was feeling quite stresssed about it, because she is already paying £10 a week to the school for a camping trip early next year.
Back to the topci - Why don't schools deal with bullies?' - Because there aren't people on the Board who are prepared to challenge the school and ensure it changes its ways.
I have to say that I felt I was listened to. Some of the more "professional" type didn't like what I had to say, but once it was said out loud, it was surprising how people seemed to then agree. A fear, I think, of being seen to be weak, perhaps?
I.ve been approached, but haven't had the courage to put my name forward for the Secondary School. It just seems too big. I could cope with the figures in the primary school budget!!
The PTA in the primary school was originally set up to help those experiencing hardship, but then was used for anything else but. I'm paying ahead now for youngest to do a camp thing, but last week wrote cheques out for:
Photo of my daughter, including her and one of her year £16.50
youngest - CD £10.50
- concert tickets for Nana and Grandad £3.00
Last week I paid £11.50 for youngest's photo and £2 for my ticket for the concert(!).
Still need to fork out for oldest's sixth form ball (all ready have the tux - got that last year when he went... That should work out well if all the boys go to sixth form!), his photo and youngest's panotmime.
Thank you Louise for the link.
I found out something very interesting this morning in a supermarket! I was chatting to a Mum whose son is in my lads class. She is having a lot of trouble with this particular boy that my son had problems with. Her son has also been bullied by ..... since year 1. (now in year 2). We had a lengthy talk, and nearly all of the Mums have complained about ....... It turns out that ........ mother is on very good terms with the Head. That explains an awful lot to me!!
This lovely woman this morning was saying about ....... mother, and how she seems to laugh at the fact that 'our children' are being bullied. Last Christmas, this woman was talking to the teacher about the bully, and the bullies mother reaches over with a bottle of wine, and says to the teacher, 'you'll need this after listening to all of that'!!!!!!!!!! She truely is something else.
I assured this woman that if it carries on with her son, and others, then I will back them all the way with letters etc, and instead of going to the Head, we will go straight to the board of Govs. Thankfully, my son has been left alone by this particular bully for a while, but I would still have my say.
It is outrageous that all these complaints have been given, not just in this year but the year before, and still the little bugger gets away with it. Unbloodybelievable!
I just wouldn't bother with the Head again. Letter straight to the Chair of the Board of Governors. She's had her chance....
Exactly. :)
Hi alisoncam
Yes you could go to the Board of Governors or even the local Education office. Another idea might be to keep a note of the names of any children you hear have been bullied by this child and then if your boy has problems again then you could approach the parents and ask them to sign a joint letter of complaint which you could send to the Governors. The letter could explain that all of the children of the undersigned have been bullied by this one boy and that you have all raised it with the Head, who has taken no action. Just a thought!
The boy doing the bullying clearly has some issues of his own that he needs help with and maybe his mum could do with some help to put some boundaries in place so it is not a case of demonising this boy, more a request that the school takes this seriously, stops the bullying and helps the perpetrator.
Hi Louise
That is a very good idea about the letter, and I would certainly do that, thankyou. I spoke to three other Mums yesterday, and their child has also had dealings with the boy. All of us have had some point approached the Mother, and all say the same thing. She finds it all amusing, and has also said it isn't her child, but that he himself is being bullied by our children!!!!!!!! I have no time for her, and there is definately a shift around in the playground away from her. I do have some degree of sympathy for him, as I know he has issues, and the parents and the school should have addressed this much earlier. Quite honestly I don't know if anything is being done to help him.
I reckon if the boy behaves in the classroom the teachers aren't going to worry too much (sorry if that's being negative).
The new Head in the primary actually stopped the teachers going into the playground during break time as she figured it wasn't their place to supervise the children. I've noticed that they do again now - but that could have been because it was alien to the teachers who'd been there for years not to supervise them.
I can even use my son with special needs as an example. He doesn't get the help he needs as he's good in the classroom.
Unless that child makes life difficult for the teacher in the class I can't see the school wanting to be involved - sorry if I've gone the long way about saying that.
I've been ill you know...
Hi
The boy in question is a constant distraction in the classroom, and doesn't listen to teachers either.
I know someone at the school with a special needs child, and she too always says her son doesn't get the one to one that he needs, and was promised! I remember viewing the school, and the deputy banging on about help that was given for special needs, and for children who were seen as gifted! What a load of baloney that was. I really thought this school was going to be promising for C........
I hope you are feeling better today Sparkling. Don't blame the illness on the long windedness, (is that a word)haha
Take care
Alison
x
Hi alisoncam
This really does seem to go on and on. Did you ever look at the ACE site? http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/ I think they are excellent.
I hear you saying that your son is being left alone by this bully, but it also sounds as though it is still affecting your life. Take the bull(y!!) by the horns and take action.
I agree, a letter to the Board of Govenors, with a list of names, or signatures, can not be ignored.
Hi all. Start of a new year, and the problems have started again. Same boy as in year 1 and 2.
There was a meeting last Thursday at the school, and parents were told if we had any problems or concerns, to go in and deal with them straight away, rather than letting it go on.
Not sure if I should approach the teacher, and just let her know of C's previous problems with this boy, or wait a bit. On day 1 this boy missed playtime, was sat in the corner, day 2 was the same, and now today with C. I loathe this child with a vengeance.
Oh no!
The bane of 14 year old's life - and has been all through primary - will still cause problems. He was coming onto our estate in the summer holidays (and we're well off the beaten track) especially to find C
While the school always acted, nothing can be done to change this appalling child's personality.
Loads of hugs.
Going to see the teacher seems the right thing to do. She/he needs to know the history between them. I know you weren't very happy with C's teacher last year so she may not have even recorded it, so flag it up with the new one.
Good luck!
Hi all. Thankyou for your comments. I have spoken to the teacher this morning. (I don't know her at all Bec). I explained that C has had trouble in the past with this boy, and there have been no end of problems, which I don't want again. She has assured me that it will be monitored in the playground, so fingers crossed.I've also said that in the classroom I don't even want them sitting near each other. I'm not that confident to be honest, as I've been told these things before. Have to say though, this teacher is very approachable.
Good, well you have done what you can. I wonder if it might be worth keeping a note of things eg 7th September-spoke to mrs X, asked that C and this boy ar enot sat next to each other...etc. Keep copies of any letters too just in case
I'm glad you've spoken to her. So glad she's approachable too!
Hi HelenT. I have spoken to the child's Mum when the bullying first started. She finds everything amusing, and treats it all as a joke. Her attitude is disgusting, and I'm really not surprised that this boy is the way he is. Two years of this, and I have had my fill of them.
The boy is question was doing stuff to my son today, the teacher pulled him up on it, and was told to apologise. Nothing much ever gets done, and this is why the child seems to get away with it. Both parents were left speaking to the teacher, but I can guarantee that nothing will change.
I have no idea what to suggest. I wish I did.
xxxx
I bet the mother wouldn't find it so "amusing" if it was her child on the receiving end! 
Sorry I just had to say that.
Helen T is right though, there is often a sad story behind bullying behaviour, although it is not entirely obvious in the case of the boy you have told us about, alisoncam
The mother certainly wouldn't find it amusing if it happened to him Louise. I have thought this often. Another Mum is going in tomorrow, as her son had trouble today.
If, and this is a big if, there is a sad story behind this bully, then it is down to the mum to find out what it is, instead of thinking it's ok, and stand with a stupid smile on her face. She was really staring at me this afternoon, and this makes me wonder if somehow she knows that I reported her 'little darling'. I actually think there is someone in the school that she is very 'in' with. I am not put off by this, or her, in anyway, she will not, and does not, intimidate me.
Sorry guys, but this really does make me angry.
There's some good info there, alisoncam. I am glad you are not intimidated by the mother!
Bad Luck alisoncam, this really does seem unfair on C.
HelenT has given some good info there. Did you ever contact ACE? They have great website and an advice line?
I really am so upset for you both.
xxx
I'm upset for us too!!!! Have just called ACE, thankyou Anna. They didn't actually tell me anything I didn't already know, ie, write letters, chair of governors. They are sending me out a pack, so I will have a good read up of that.
Today, the boy used C as a punch bag in his back. This was as the children were lining up to go into class. C reported it to the teacher, and she said, 'oh well, it has been dealt with'. How? when C had only just reported it, When? when they'd only just gone back into the classroom.
Yesterday, scissors were aimed at C's head, but the teacher simply told the boy not to throw scissors!
I am very very upset that it is all happening again. Those of you who have been through this will know how upsetting it all is. I could scream and scream and scream. It's so unfair
Education authority next...
I'm wondering how it would be warning them you will withdraw him from school until the matter is dealt with.
Thinking out loud here.
I just don't know Sparkling. I'm on a real downer right now, but C is really ok. Told me he is used to it. That made me cry, bless him.
Times like these, maybe a man would come in handy!
Did I really just say that, nooooooooooo
No disrespect to the wonderful men on this group.
x
If C is Ok then no need to withdraw him, but are you keeping a daily log, alisoncam? Head teacher is next, and to say that if they are not going to deal with the bullying then you are going to the Local Education Authority, as sparkling suggests. I always think it is worth doing these things by letter or email (rather than on the phone, even though it is more convenient) so you can keep a record of everything. You will have a right dossier!
Chin up, alisoncam, don't let this get you down, you have right on your side!
Have done a letter, will send one to teacher, and Head. Also saying that i'm writing to chair of govs for copies of C's records. Previous letters should be in this!!! Am so tired, so am going off to bed. Thankyou for all your replies and support.
x
Well done, alisoncam
I gave the letters to teacher and Head. I did say to the Head that I do volunteering in the school, and asked if this would affect it at all. He answered, 'no, it shouldn't do'. I had wanted him to say, that 'no it wouldn't'. As I was giving my letter to the teacher, another Mum was behind me, and had gone in to complain about the same boy!!! She didn't put it in writing though, but at least, there was a complaint I suppose. I have asked for a reply in writing as to what measures will be taken etc. Will wait and see now. Poor C, my heart really goes out to him, but, he is handling it well.
x
HA! that is good news that someone else was complaining about the same boy. See what response you get and at least you know there is another parent who you may be able to join forces with.....
Hi C-L
Have a copy of the school policy, but school tends not to stick to that!!! Am so glad the holiday is here, as I don't think I could keep my cool for much longer with them. I've had this problem since last year with the same boy, so it really is wearing a bit thin now. Glad also to have the support of other boy's Mum. She is now realising what I've been going through, and though sad for her son, at least I don't feel so alone.
Ikea???? Me????? I don't think so, hahahaha. I will leave that to Pansy and her Bf.
Actually, to be honest, I'd like to be taken somewhere, anywhere, butttttttt, that isn't an option for me. Oh well. Have you plans for the hols? Not too sure C-L, but are you a single mum, or are you just filling in for Anna? Whatever the case, it is nice that you are here. Have a lovely weekend
Take care
Alison
x :)