Hi I am a single mum but why do I feel so alone?
Hello Butterfly and everyone
Yes, it can be hard but as we have seen, it IS possible to rebuild you life and the interval between bouts of tears will gradually get longer and although there are setbacks you can move forward.
Everyone seems to be winding down to the end of term now and looking forward to some lazy summer days. Do your aerobics classes take a break, butterfly?
It will be nice to take your daughter to Italy and see...is it your mum you are visiting?
You need and deserve a break so it is worth arranging another teacher and taking some time out 
Which part of Italy and will it be very hot?
Hi Butterfly. Lucky you going to Italy 
It will do you the world of good going for away.
If I manage to fold myself in half, could you squeeze me in your case? I promise to be good
Hi everyone
Pansy you wrote a lovely post full of promise for Butterfly's future, thanks for that.
Butterfly it will get easier and we are right here behind you.
This is a short post as I have to go and argue with my housing officer about massive rent increase/mess they have made, ugh!
I hope you are all well, have a good evening.
PS Butterfly Louise's idea is really good, I have done it myself, every night try and think of 3 positive things that have happened to you and write them down too, then you will look back and see life aint so bad. I used to even write things like, I have new jar of peanut butter for my toast in the morning, sad huh! But it did mean I went to bed on a positive note rather than negative! Stay cool!
Hi Butterfly
Yes thank you I did sort out the rent issue! I now have to pay extra rent each month because of their mistake!! Hey ho, nothing new there!
I have a colleague who is passionate about mothers or fathers speaking their native tongue to their children, as she believes we express ourselves better and more heartfelt when we talk in our original tongue to our children and it deepens the bond.
I once met a mother who was Vietnamese and she only spoke broken English to her children, when the English father left, she was unable to discipline or command respect from her children as they were unable to communicate. It was sad to see, not only for the mum but for the children too.
Soooo, I encourage you to talk to your daughter in both languages, she is young enough to pick up Italian fluently and it would be a valuable asset to her when she is older.
Great to read that you are finding a little more peace within yourself, when do you go for your trip? Does your sister have children? Will there be friends for your daughter to play with? Is the weather definitely going to be good? Oooh so many questions!
Hey Butterfly, Uhmmm, 2 hours is absolutely fine. Sure I can fold myself for that little length of time, hehe.
Have a wonderful time, hope the weather is good for you. Just don't be boasting about your tan, when over here the sun is no where to be seen 
Take care, tell us all about your trip when you get back. 
Hello Butterfly and welcome back!
Glad you had a nice rest and recharged your batteries, did not argue with your sister but I am not surprised you felt cold when you arrived back in the UK.
Sorry to hear that you are worrying and feeling a bit insecure. That can come from past experiences or it can just hit you out of the blue, if your self-esteem is feeling a bit shaky. If it goes on, think about whether you would benefit from talking to a counsellor. You can get six free sessions of counselling through your doctor, although there will probably be a sizeable waiting list.
What did your daughter think of Italy?
Hey Butterfly
Welcome home! It is great to read that you and your sister didn't fall out! Also that your sister spent a lot of time with your daughter, not only so they could bond, but hopefully that you had a chance to relax!
It is always funny going back and seeing people, I once bumped into a girl from school who I always thought was gorgeous and liked her a lot, she used to be really funny! I saw her in the street and went over to say hello, she had 3 children looked very middle aged and had lost all the sparkle that she used to have! It was such a shame. It sounds as though although your old friends had aged, your relationships picked up from where they were. Must have been lovely.
You said that it was good to be home, that is such a great feeling huh! When you get into your OWN bed and feel AT HOME.
Do you ever think about going back and living in Italy? Did your daughter pick up more Italian? Does your sister speak English?
You mention that you don't value yourself enough..... you are on the first step to overcoming this, as you have recognised it
One book that I have found invaluable regarding this kind of thing, is You can Heal your Life by Louise Hay. I have just seen that you can get a DVD or CD's as well as the book. It is very self help-y, and probably not for everyone....and it's American, however it worked wonders for me.
I actually had counselling alongside reading this book and i would thoroughly recommend this. Are there any womens centres in your area where you could do a confidence course or something similar?
Hi butterfly
I'm glad you had a good time with your family and friends. They're so precious.
I know where you come from valuing yourself - and I am so much better than I have been in the past.
sparklinglime yousay that you are so much better than you have been in the past, do you have any tips for butterfly?
One of mine is to constantly say "I love and approve of myself" over and over again, the book says you should do it 400 to 500 times a day, it is so surprising how different you feel after doing it just a couple of days
I can't really put my finger on what it is.
I think getting away from negative comments was a start and its built from there. I don't hate myself anymore - ok, odd blips, but generally I'm ok. I can see my children are happy, so a lot of that has to be down to me as The Git sees so little of them.
And Scouts. I know I harp on about it at times, but that has given me a bit of a boost too.
Yes, your work with Scouts has been brilliant so I am glad you feel it has given you a boost too
Your children are also a credit to you. Butterfly, I imagine your daughter is a credit to you too!
Hi butterfly, I just read the post again further up, you say that you don't value yourself. You have your answer right there.
YOU need to start valuing yourself. Perhaps you could make a list of all your good points, all the things that you believe that are important in a persons traits, honesty, kindness etc.
We have to believe in ourselves before we can trust others, it also means that we won't let people overstep our boundaries. Meaning that if a new partner says something we don't like, we let them know we don't find that acceptable, (because we know ourselves) rather than perhaps laughing along and letting them get away with it, therefore giving them all the ammunition to walk all over us.
Did you have a look into any womens groups in your area, perhaps doing a confidence course, or raising self esteem course, could give you some more ideas about valuing yourself?
Hi Butterfly, welcome back. Really pleased you had a good time, and all was well between you and your sister.
Hope the sun is shining where you are.
Take care
Alison
x
Hi Butterfly. Must be lovely having your Mum to stay. Has she come over from Italy? Enjoy the rest of your time with her
x
That is lovely!
You have a brilliant time.
I am sure you have had a great time with your mum to stay We will chat to you when you are back online, enjoy the rest of the visit!
Look forward to hearing from you butterfly :)
HI Louise and everybody ,
Thank you for your kind messages. I am not sure what happened there! Maybe is best I do not!
My week end which I dread as I know lonleyness is approcing , was ok , I went to a nice pick nick today with my daugher and was relaxing. Still crying over my ex but at least it is not constant now and I try to apply all the lovely suggestion all of you have given me and everytime I get upset I think of all of you and the lonleyness and hurt is not so strong.
I am off to bed now as feeling tired and drained from the emotional rollacoster. How was the week end for all of you?
Night night
XXX