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The best thing about being a single parent is .........

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I do like my big bed, I have to say!  Although the dog likes to stretch out on the bottom now too!  She does curl up in the bottom corner when asleep though...

Posted on: November 24, 2010 - 1:08pm

wiseowl

Getting a chinese! Had parents eve last night, my girl doing very well, I am soo proud, when we got home I was exhausted and couldn't be bothered to cook, so we went and got a chinese!  My ex used to think that eating out was lazy, its funny that even now, 12 years on, i still get a little thrill!

Posted on: November 25, 2010 - 11:16am

Bubblegum
DoppleMe

Not having to live this life : )

Posted on: December 2, 2010 - 12:41pm

stuart
DoppleMe

 

Not having a nagging woman there saying do this you aint done that.

Not having to splash out on gifts to keep the other half happy can spend the money on what ever i want ( which most of the time is the kids lol.)

Not having to see crap soaps anymore the big tv is all mine YES get in.

Not having to think about anyone elses feeling but my own when your partner carnt make there mind up.

No more rows all peace an quiet when kids are in bed.

Not having to do things for the other and jump through hoops to make them happy.

Not having to put up with moods ie leave me alone its the time of the month grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.(well almost 15 year old daughter so half way there)

Having a large double bed to myself and not having to share the eletric blanket.

Not having to give up my friends and family for a relationship.

Not getting lost on a journey when your partner can not read the map (got to love sat-nav)

Not having to wait two hours to get in the bathroom to get ready to go out.

 

Stuart xxx

Posted on: December 2, 2010 - 1:45pm

paul_30

Well here's a blokes perspective on this.

Going out when I am ready and not waiting half an hour.

Having the bathroom shelves, wardrobe space less cluttered.

Doing what I like with the kids, i.e. sitting up late watching a special movie.

More space in bed for when they crawl in after a nightmare and my wife can no longer moan about being woken up.

Not having to cook an elaborate meal after I have already spent two hours in the kitchen cooking and cleaning.

25% less housework

Not worrying because she has spent £400 on a new handbag or shoes.

Listening to music in bed.

Not feeling guilty for helping my friends out in an evening.

Posted on: December 26, 2010 - 1:25pm

paul_30

Hey Bubblegum,

Saw your comment: all men are generally stupid and only interested in football sex and beer'

Was going to defend us then thought it through, I know a few like that!

But we are not all like that. I'm not bothered about football and drink in moderation, as for the other, only with women I love and respect.

Posted on: December 26, 2010 - 1:29pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Yes there are indeed a few blokes like that, and there are also a few women who are only interested in Celebrity gossip and make-up, it takes all sorts I suppose Undecided

Bubblegum is a single dad like you and has come across all sorts of prejudices against dads parenting alone.....and then also some people are patronising towards him. I don't know if that is also your experience? There are more and more dads bringing up children nowadays and 10% of single parents are men but there is still this weird attitude toward them sometimes

I had a chuckle at your comment about women taking ages to get ready. I was going out with a group of friends the weekend before Christmas and as there were beverages involved, I ordered a taxi to get there. The firm said they were booked solid later on but they could send one earlier. Ok I said......and had to be ready in six minutes flat! It was like in the Benny Hill programme when there is that silly music and everything is in fast forward motion Laughing

Posted on: December 26, 2010 - 2:30pm

paul_30

Hi Louise.

I can be guilty of faffing around myself when it comes to going out.

Ironic that Bubblegum is a man too, should of read through his comments and then would of figured it out myself.

6 minutes is a quite a record, I've had a few of those get changed quick moments.

Posted on: December 26, 2010 - 6:40pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

It was only managed because I had already decided what to wear. I think for a lot of we women that is what takes the time! Plus I never wear much makeup.

Posted on: December 27, 2010 - 10:37am

Bubblegum
DoppleMe

Hi Paul_30..

I'd just like to point out that the more space in bed thing doesn't happen, not for me anyway, my kids never sleep in their rooms, they sometimes 'camp' in the front room but at the least my daughter comes up to my room at sometime in the morning.

They are six and eight, I often imagine my self in my winter years with two twenty something adults squashed into my bed. But I suppose when they get a bit older and mention to their friends that they still sleep with their dad embarrassment will make them move to their own rooms.

: )

Posted on: December 27, 2010 - 10:58am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

hahah, my sister's two children were the same, Bubblegum. I always used to be  a bit concerned but she said "well they won't be doing it when they are 18"...and sure enough they moved when they were ready.

Posted on: December 27, 2010 - 11:07am

mamaoftwo
DoppleMe

Definitely the best is not having rows!!  I love just being really silly with my children when we put on some music and we just dance or sing together (heaven help the neighbours), or our 'movie nights' on a Friday when I let them stay up to watch a dvd and we bring our duvets to the tv and snuggle up.

By the way - if I do go out I usually end up putting my make-up on in between reading bedtime stories to my two :) - my couple friends with children and my single friends without children take ages to get ready now. They haven't mastered the art of speedy getting ready lol.

:)

 

Posted on: January 5, 2011 - 11:24pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Ah yes, I call it the Benny Hill school of getting ready (do you remember that really fast music that was on his show while everything went in fast motion?) I had to do that over Christmas when I was having my night out but there were no taxis so had to go early and it took me six minutes from scratch to get ready. Mind you my youngest is now 16 so don't have to see to him Smile

The rows, yes that is a really good point. And actually, research shows that what affects children most is NOT their parents splitting up, but the conflict around them....

Posted on: January 6, 2011 - 8:41am

mamaoftwo
DoppleMe

Ha ha - I think whenever I get to go out and rush around getting ready now I will have the Benny Hill music playing away in my mind :)

 

Posted on: January 9, 2011 - 12:25am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

It used to be a saying in my family when I was younger: "And so I had to do a Benny Hill", which meant you had had to get on with things really quickly.

Posted on: January 9, 2011 - 10:34am

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Smile

Posted on: January 9, 2011 - 1:38pm

Mrs Tyler

Well, if you had asked me this a few months ago I would've cried.  HOWEVER:

Best things are finding the old "you" again; 

having the confidence to do what you want to do with the children and when; 

not having to answer to anyone; 

knowing that the house will be clean the way you left it the night before; 

cooking what you fancy and not for anyone else; 

not having to lie awake at night until he falls in the door drunk at 3 in the morning;

not having to be told that you are boring when you know that you are not; 

not having to go out and then wait for the barrage of abuse when he is drunk...  need I go on??  

In time, I am realising that it's the best thing that couldve happened.  Single Parent City is lonely, hard, tiring, but it's also the best.  And when you're two children say "love you mama" - then you know that you are doing something right! xx

Posted on: March 27, 2011 - 8:49pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

xx

Posted on: March 27, 2011 - 8:50pm

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Mrs Tyler

I have just edited your post, I do hope you don't mind, I just put each great thing on a different line.

I loved it, I think it is a very therapeutic exercise when you start to recognise that actually life is a lot better than you ever thought it was going to be!

Posted on: March 29, 2011 - 1:16pm

Bubblegum
DoppleMe

: )

Posted on: October 7, 2011 - 7:31pm

crabby tomato

as an old hander (13 yrs of lone parenthood) I've foundsome of the best things have been so far

the extra close bond to almost psychic proportions-UNTIL aliens abducted her ie she became a teen

the fact that growing up as an only child with a lone parent has made her more caring, less materialistic " cheap and cheerful" is a mantra...

and that all the proverbs, olde worlde sayings and "at least..." expressions she has picked up are from me. At 6 at a family wedding she proudly announced she was "born and bred in Bolton" and at 11 she knew what meeting me halfway wasLaughing

 

Posted on: November 3, 2011 - 3:49pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

What a fab list! Yes, the advent of the teen years can indeed feel like an alien invasion!! Surprised

Posted on: November 3, 2011 - 4:43pm

kiniusia

When I read all those posts I had huge smile on my face.I just notice I was always thinking what I will be missing when he gone and now when I can think about all those positive things it is just easier for me.Good job girls.We are strongSmile

Posted on: November 4, 2011 - 11:09am

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

YES we are! Boys too Wink

kiniusia, hiya, I haven't said hallo to you yet, welcome to One Space! Your message is really special, because you have pinpointed the reason why we created this thread and proved that it works! So thank you for that! Hurray! Can you now think of something good that you enjoy now you are a single parent? 

crabby tomato, I have to agree with you on the almost psychic abilities we have. Very bizarre! It happened to me and my daughter the other day, we both laughed our heads off and then I told all the times it had happened when she was small, as you say it has been pretty rare during the teenage years!

Posted on: November 4, 2011 - 11:51am

kiniusia

Hi,

Well the best thing is his mess gone.But for me is too early,we only 2 weeks not together then I still need time to figure out what make me happy single mum. 

Posted on: November 4, 2011 - 12:17pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

yes it is early days kiniusia but stick with us.....

Crabby tomato they do eventually become "UN-alienated", I promise. My eldest is quite human these days Smile

Posted on: November 4, 2011 - 5:39pm

Bubblegum
DoppleMe

My nephew, who is 22 now, often comes out with stuff at the dinner table that makes me and my sister laugh... sort of realisation comments, life stuff, stuff that he was told as a kid but didn't absorbe, the sort of things you say to your kids that your parents say to you that you don't understand untill you are older and at the time role your eyes and think yeah, yeah, wot ever.

In fact! my seven year old daughter said to me just the other day, while being admonished on her short behaviour towards her brother... 'wot ever' while waving her hand dismissively at me. I laughed.

Probably I should have told her off, but it made me laugh : )

I expect it will only get worse over the next few years. : /

Posted on: November 5, 2011 - 10:47pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

It may well do.......mwahahahahahahha (evil laugh)

Posted on: November 6, 2011 - 9:45am

elle81
DoppleMe

I think the best thing about being a single parent is snuggeling up on a saturday nite having our chinese takeaway in our pjs watching a dvd or the tv,knowing no ones going to come in and spoil it,its just me and R,

he also wrote me a loveley poem it was either early this year or last year i have kept it i will dig it out and post it on here its very sweet.

Posted on: November 6, 2011 - 2:12pm

betty boo 22

 The best thing for me is i dont have to cook big eveving meals when i dont particularly feel like it. 

 my boys giving me a great big hug and telling me "i love you mum", or"you'er the best mum". Makes it all worth it.

Posted on: November 6, 2011 - 11:08pm

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

YAY! I love being a single parent and I love hearing what you love too! It really makes me happy Kiss

elle81, I used to dread hearing the keys in the door, I lurve it that that no longer happens!

Posted on: November 11, 2011 - 5:48pm

Bubblegum
DoppleMe

Anna!

I used to love going to work, to get out the house and be with normal happy people where I could be myslelf and laugh : )

And! I too love being a single parent : )

Posted on: November 11, 2011 - 6:02pm

Mumto3

I could name about a million things but have to say my biggest is definitely no longer being subjected to watching sport on tv 24/7!

To name but a few I had to watch football, rugby, tennis, cricket, golf, formula 1, wrestling and sure there were loads more but my poor brain has blocked the memory out Tongue out

Then I used to get told he hardly got to watch anything! ha ha what a joke Laughing

 

Posted on: November 11, 2011 - 9:38pm

misha1983
DoppleMe

not having the stress of worrying about them, being a parent is stressfull enough!! its hard but sometimes i think being a single mum is a blessing in discuise!

Posted on: November 11, 2011 - 10:07pm

Lucy Parsons

Not having to have sex with someone you basically don't like and barely fancy anymore. HURRAY!!!

Posted on: November 11, 2011 - 11:54pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Good comment, Lucy Wink

Posted on: November 12, 2011 - 8:52am

loopylou

iv only been a single parent 4 a couple of weeks  but im already starting 2 realise some of the upsides of being single like:

no more worryin about saying the rong  thin in case he goes in the huff

being able 2 have my mates round whenever i want

noin that the fridge will b full a day after doin the  shopping 

and the best thing of all getting my confidence back as a mammy and not feeling like i have 2 rely on him 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted on: February 9, 2012 - 11:07pm

loopylou

ooh and not hearing the kids been called nasty names whenever theyve done something rong and having my little boy cry theres alot more laughter now

Posted on: February 9, 2012 - 11:11pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Ahhh loopylou it sounds as if your house is a happier place now with a better atmosphere, with a lovely full fridge smiley

Posted on: February 10, 2012 - 9:45am

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hooray! Great stuff loopylou!! You mention having your friends over when you want and I have to add another one!

Being able to have a party when you want one or when your child wants one and inviting as many people as you feel you can handle!! smiley

Posted on: February 13, 2012 - 2:40pm

littleredhen
DoppleMe

Meeting new friends on here wink

Knowing I can put the kids first and I come second instead of last

Not having to watch him get in a huff

Having the bed to myself

Learning to love myself again

 

 

Posted on: April 6, 2012 - 7:37am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

They're all brilliant things, LRH but I like the last one best of all!

Posted on: April 6, 2012 - 7:59am

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I have to say that I do like having the bed to myself :-)  Mind you, I do have to boot the dog off every now and then!!

Posted on: April 7, 2012 - 6:26pm

sal73ly
DoppleMe

The relationship between me and my boys. Totally diff to how it was when their dad was around, much closer. Fab days out without feeling guilty that dad is missing. Going where we want and when. Spending a whole day in pjs.

Oh and having the whole wardrobe obviously!

Posted on: April 7, 2012 - 11:09pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

AHHHHHHHH yes

Posted on: April 8, 2012 - 7:55am

Jacs
DoppleMe

I put off being a single parent for about 12 years because I didn't think I could cope - needed him so badly... (well, that's what he wanted me to think?) ??? and I put up with... well, that's my story...

nocturnal natters with teenage (yes, she talks) daughter...Saturday morning lie-ins, a natter and tea in bed

usual teenage 'stuff' and a bit more to deal with, but it's being dealt with consistently, slowly but surely

NO MORE DRAMA!! - yes, I'm shouting - from the rooftops... ooops! Is that drama Embarassed

 

Posted on: June 19, 2012 - 8:12pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Not a drama at all Jacs. Well done you. Made me giggle with 'nocturnal natter with teenage (yes, she talks)Smile Brilliant

Posted on: June 19, 2012 - 8:19pm

Surviving Mommy
DoppleMe

What a great thread! :)

Best thing is quality time with my children who are my sunshines! without a man around who feels jealous or left out, or who nags at my son (who is an angel) or goes in a mood when he's had a nightmare and comes into my bed at night. Just pure guilt free love :) xxx

Posted on: June 19, 2012 - 8:47pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

That's lovely Surviving Mommy

Posted on: June 19, 2012 - 8:52pm

Jacs
DoppleMe

yep, hazeleyes - she doesn't talk very much during the day, but when it's almost bedtime I get some pearls of conversations which reflect her inner thoughts - feel honoured (if a little knackered) to share these thoughts, reassure her as necessary, let her know that she has my unconditional love <3. Laughing 

Posted on: June 19, 2012 - 8:55pm