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Any best thing about being a single parent is second best. Second best to a loving caring relationship. Also second best to children being brought up by two loving caring parents.
Michael.
I think the best thing for my lot is the fact they they have one parent who is there 100% without the stress of having a second parent who isn't...
Loads of hugs Michael.
Hi Michael,
I understand why you feel as you do. I know that several people on here (including me!) get quite angry and upset at the attitude of the other parent to their children and wish, for the children's sake, that they had a good second parent. We all want the best for our children, of course we do :)
I don't know if you have heard this but all the research goes to show that the one thing that DOES affect a child badly is conflict...whether that is between parents who live together or those who have separated. And so, if the two parents cannot live together without conflict then it is better that they parent apart and the child is spared that conflict. It's quite a weird one to get your head round, I think, when many of us have been brought up to think that it is always better to stay together. Depends on the circumstances, I guess.....
G
I think the best thing for my lot is the fact they they have one parent who is there 100% without the stress of having a second parent who isn't...
Loads of hugs Michael.
Good point.
Michael
Hi Michael,
I understand why you feel as you do. I know that several people on here (including me!) get quite angry and upset at the attitude of the other parent to their children and wish, for the children's sake, that they had a good second parent. We all want the best for our children, of course we do :)
I don't know if you have heard this but all the research goes to show that the one thing that DOES affect a child badly is conflict...whether that is between parents who live together or those who have separated. And so, if the two parents cannot live together without conflict then it is better that they parent apart and the child is spared that conflict. It's quite a weird one to get your head round, I think, when many of us have been brought up to think that it is always better to stay together. Depends on the circumstances, I guess.....
Hello Louise, Thanks for taking the trouble to reply. Although I think my point was valid. I think I was being a bit grumpy. After all it was only a light hearted thing you were doing.
My answer now would be, the best things are that i've learnt to cook, organise domestic things, separate the whites from the darks when washing and tolerate the music channel. Michael.
Ah... The music channels 8-)
Totally with you on that one!
best things for me...
not sharing them(i hate sharing my kids with anyone the first few weeks after birth are the worst everyone wants a cuddle)
knowing that you and only you shaped the person they are
having the dogs in bed with you :D
sundays in bed with the kids cuddling, giggling, eating junk and watching dvd's
having no one to answer to
the way they look at you(knowing you are sole receipent of all their love 100% of the time)
being able to play my music with no moaning that it is rubbish
total control over the remote
no more apologising
I've lost control of the remote... To the children mind!
:lol: :lol: luckily they have a tv and dvd in their rooms plus in their front room, so i don't have to watch endless episodes of ben10 and spongebob
Hi Michael you weren't being grumpy, you were expressing your honest feelings, which is what it is all about. I just wanted to reassure you that the kids were better off not being in conflict :)
The bit about the laundry made me giggle. When I was young (about 1803?) I lived in a boarding house and whilst I was a permanent resident, the other guests came and went. A young man came to stay and I really fancied him and hoped that something would come of it. To no avail I made eyes at him over the coffee pot in the breakfast room....until one day he asked if he could see me in private. Intrigued, I followed him and he beckoned me into his room. I thought he was going to kiss me or, at the very least, ask me out for a date. He leaned towards me and whispered confidentially...."Can I put my whites in with my coloureds?" :lol: :lol: :lol:
Hi Michael you weren't being grumpy, you were expressing your honest feelings, which is what it is all about. I just wanted to reassure you that the kids were better off not being in conflict :)
The bit about the laundry made me giggle. When I was young (about 1803?) I lived in a boarding house and whilst I was a permanent resident, the other guests came and went. A young man came to stay and I really fancied him and hoped that something would come of it. To no avail I made eyes at him over the coffee pot in the breakfast room....until one day he asked if he could see me in private. Intrigued, I followed him and he beckoned me into his room. I thought he was going to kiss me or, at the very least, ask me out for a date. He leaned towards me and whispered confidentially...."Can I put my whites in with my coloureds?" :lol: :lol: :lol:
Louise.
You never finished the story. After you advised him about his laundry, what happened next?........................
.....aboslutely nothing, Michael!!!!!!!!! :(
the best thing abt being a parent is all of the above......
i also get to watch my tv in my livingroom as it used to be hooked up to the ps3 24/7 :x :x
i am enjoying every 2nd of having my girl all to myself i esp like wht u's said abt the no atmosphere we still basically do the same stuff but we dont get checked for it now or get told to grow up :lol:
am not anti man though i grew up with my dad he was a single parent, im glad i get to do all those things but i remeber how much i loved my daddy growing up and i dont want my girl to miss out on that, reading wht u's say abt men reminds me of why i like being on my own :D :D :D
leeanne
mmm. I was a daddy's girl, and always figured my daughter would end up being a daddy's girl. The Git has hurt her so much... Whether she's a mummy's girl though, I'm not sure. I just feel sorry for them being stuck with me! :lol:
Oh sparkling lime, the other day I was just telling you how lucky they were to have such a fab mum....
I get to pull two bicycles apart in the front room (and build one good one from all the bits*) and!! I get to use what ever kitchen implement I care to use with out worrying about it : )
*and I get to leave all the little bits in a box in the corner for as long as I want.
....and are you saying that another adult in the house might object to that??? :lol:
All of the above!!!!! :D
Being a single parent is great, and lets not forget it!
Hello jeejee
Glad that you are so positive, it helps a lot :)
Ahh It is great to see so many positive posts under this topic and so many humerous stories - its a real celebration to single parent hood. Lets all pat ourselves on the back!
C-L
I got talking to a very nice woman at my exercise class today. We were on the subject of babies crying in the night (you've all been there!) and 'controlled crying'. She was explaining to me how it works.
One of the hardest things, she said, is the amount of trouble and stress it causes between you and your partner as you both have different ideas of the best thing to do with a crying baby at 4.00 a.m.
Not me!
:lol: :lol: good for you!
Hi Lindsaygii - great that you got some advice and also great that you are joining in with celebrating about single parenthood as well!
C-L
The best thing I have found is I can keep the lamp on when I am in bed and having my bed to myself that is when my six yr old does not sneak in lol ooh and not having to scrub oil out of th bath (my ex was a mechanic) its funny really, he services my car now instead of me :oops:
:lol: :lol: :lol: furry tomato
Good one furrytomato - good to see the funny side even when things are difficult - you haveto keep laughing otherwise it can all get a bit doom and gloom so thanks for this post - naughty but nice!
C-L
my best thing about being a single parent is handing them over to the other parent for some hoildays me having some me time and then a welcome home dinner with my girls and a catch up
hello miss ma ma
That sounds good, as if you have the time they spend with their dad more or less worked out, which I know is a real issue with some people. Glad you are getting some "me" time :)
a wanted to share what my gorgeous wee cherub said to me yesterday i was nearly crying and had a wee lump in my throat. i was on a day health kick before i raided the biscuit tin again :lol: so i was doing some sit ups and she asked wht i was doing and i said i was tryin to get skinny did she want to help me.
she looked at me in disgust and in a matter of fact voice said ' no mummy, i dont want u to be skinny. if ur fat ur fat, if ur skinny ur skinny. what does it really matter? ur still a superstar to me and the bestest mummy in the world!' we celebrated by having a nice big bar of chocolate.
this is wht makes me glad to be a mummy, so innocent wish u could wrap them up in cotton wool sometimes so there attitudes wld never change
HOORAY!
I have another best thing, believing in myself! After years of questioning my every decision, I am now aware that the world is my oyster and no one can stop me!! :ugeek:
anna ithink this is one of the best comments av read all day, when i first split up from my ex i felt like every decision i made i was lookin for approval from everybody round abt me 2 make sure i was doing it right. now i dont give a s**t its my way or the high way am so much more confident in my role as a parent :D knowing that whatever decision i make i know that its in my daughters best intrest
Hello leefern
Way to go! Glad you are feeling strong and focused. That was lovely what your daughter said and sometimes we need them to "straighten out" our thoughts....
she looked at me in disgust and in a matter of fact voice said ' no mummy, i dont want u to be skinny. if ur fat ur fat, if ur skinny ur skinny. what does it really matter? ur still a superstar to me and the bestest mummy in the world!' we celebrated by having a nice big bar of chocolate.
I've lost over three stone since June, through exercise and health eating I might add, but anyway, I was leaning back in my computer chair just recently and my daughter was doing her usual sitting on me distracting me to get attention and one of the things she does a lot, not just to me, anyone, is grab their chest and go boobies boobies, can't possibly think where she got that from, no! wait a minuet, it was from me. Anyway, she goes daddy you've go no boobies any more!
Made my day anyway, I expect I celebrated by drinking a bottle of wine.
Another time I was stood in the back doorway swinging from the lintel waiting for the pooh machine, that's out dog, to finish doing it's business in the back garden and my daughter said, daddy where has your belly gone?
Tears of joy and happiness ensued..
On a slightly different note though, back in the day when she was about two and a half and my son three odd, it was when I had given up smoking and substituted fags with wine and I was putting on weight so fast I was getting itchy skin. Anyway, we were all in the bath and my son was going on about my belly and so I told him I was pregnant and was going to have a baby soon, ha! and he believed me, ha! for about a few months until one day he mentioned it to my sister who wasn't in on the ruse and she told him, no daddy wont be having a baby, men don't have babies unless they are sea horses. We were sat at the table and he sort of turned to me slowly and frowned in an annoyed sort of way (I could see myself) and said, daddy you lied to me..
How we laughed.
Just thought I'd share that with you all : )
I love it...especially the sea horses! :lol:
Hi Bubblegum
Good on yu for loosing the weight and adopting a healthy eating regime! It is not easy to do, especially with a busy lifestyle looking after children etc so well done. And I hope the compliments from your daughter just keep on rolling in!
I have recently got into yoga in a big way and have also changed my diet quite radically after a visit to a nutritionist (now on no wheat, dairy, soya, yeast or mushrooms!) and yes the pounds have just fallen off which feels great, plus my body is a lot stronger and more felxible than ever before.
My little girl is quite into yoga too as I teach it and have also done parent and children sessions. So she now sits her friends down on mats and pretends to teach them, 'Now then, put your legs like this and do the butterfly pose'! Get them into these things while they are young and keen I reckon!
Cheers C-L
leefern said: when i first split up from my ex i felt like every decision i made i was lookin for approval from everybody round abt me 2 make sure i was doing it right. now i dont give a s**t its my way or the high way am so much more confident in my role as a parent knowing that whatever decision i make i know that its in my daughters best intrest
FANTASTIC feeling isn't it! Glad you have made it! Now we just need to get others to get to that point. :D
A skinny bubblegum! You will be more of a wrigleys now eh!! :lol:
That's a good quote to apply to life in general : )
It's hard not to worry about what other think though, I have an air of don't care about me but I do really, on some level anyway : )
I think we all have SOME of that inside us. It's the only reason I do the hoovering 
But it is great if we can get to a position not so much of not giving a damn about what other people think but of being so confident that we are doing Ok as people and as parents and are doing our best, that what other people think does not really matter.
lol@reason for hoovering. Just like me!!!
No, I am much, much worse because I get my son to do it!!!!
I do the hoovering because I have a hairy perpetually malting massive German Shepherd. It only takes about three days to build up more hair around the house than I though the dog actually has. If I don't it gets everywhere, in the food, in my bed, all over the kids, I've even tried directly hoovering the dog but it's basically just a hair factory that eats and fills my yard with dog pooh.
:)
We now have a rescue dog. She's called Tiny - but isn't!
I was actually thinking of hoovering her, but having read this, I won't. The brush doesn't seem to have much effect!
We have a field behind us. And a spade... Say no more 
Being able to buy as many cushions as you want! lol
I have six pillows! Which get chucked about a lot during the night. My children often ask for one of my pillows and I refuse 
I'm not mean - they do have pillows...
Bubblegum.
I used to have an alsation - soooo miss my boy. He was a rescue dog too but we had to give him away as he put my husband in hospital with his allergies (which only developed AFTER we had got the dog)
Know what you mean about the hair though. Twice a day vac in malting season. I still find hair in hidden places! lol
HI mimsy, I didn't notice you'd spoken to me, sorry : ) it used to be easier n the old forum as there was an option to list all the posts you'd made, or see them, I can't remember.
My dog has eased off on the hair for a while, I expect the follicles are having a bit of a breather, building up their energy ready for the new year so they can come back with a vengeance and make my life a misery again by clogging up my hoover.
I think we should keep that on permanent bookmark, for moments when different members feel low or fed up or "what's it all for?"
being finacially independent
watching what i want on tv (after hollie has watched her stuff.)
Having a double bed to myself bliss lol
Not having to tell anyone where im going or what m doing
Aha the not having to tell someone where you're going, I can so relate to that. When I was with my boys' dad, I hated having to report in like a naughty schoolgirl.
I guess it would be worrying if we DIDN'T question our decisions...it is only by doing that, we can become more confident of our abilities...