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Hello shaz
It turns out the expert has been away for a while, he is back now and you will be getting a response very shortly 
morning all not been on here cause have been unable to get on .ive not had a good time over the last two weeks parents evening went well for my little one and though i didnt see my ex at the school result we were able to get away quick he did drive past and pull up outside the house for afew minutes . i sat and i just nicely waved to him and he soon moved on . then last week wed i went to sign on my computer and i was unable to even put my password in so i called two friends and even spoke to the tec guys at the school asking for help but each came back to me and said computer as been hacked !!!
then on sat night a friend of a friend came to the house to have a look at the computer to see what he could do and bless him got it sorted and found the problem to which i was sick and ill . when my ex left my computer was checked and things took out that was related to him and files shares all removed but what i didnt know was that he had also sent them to the router so gained access through that and was able to change my login in it was there for me to see .
the guy who helped me said to get to this you have to be really good on computers and really know your stuff.
why and what would he get out of doing this ? not hurting me but the computer not working hurts the kids cause of their homework .
is he trying to make me look like a bad mom unable to provide for the kids like computer for schooling why scoop low enough to do this really dont get it
i have tried calling the police three times the first time i did get through and this lady wants me to speak to the officer who arrested him way back but have left messages but nothing back its time they need to step in and help cause he wont stop its a hassing now i feel
then when i think it cant get worse sunday my little one was helping and caught his thumb at first a cut and just saw but as the day went on it got worse swollen and ended up in a&e at the min thye said its not broken but got to go back fri for a check up to me i think it is though he is going to school this morning as he wants too.
then a really good friend as taken my car away to mot and fix it and lent me one of his and sunday the gear box went on it :( so felt bad with that but he ok with it knew all about it but thought would be ok for abit so till my car comes back its walking for me again have to laugh or cry lol
Ah shaz i'm sorry to hear your having a run of it, sounds like you have had your three though so you should be o.k. now.
It maybe worth it to keep hasseling the police, it's not right that your ex has done this, you maybe able to get some sort of restraining order check with our Legal Expert to see if they can suggest what to do. Thankfully your friend was able to fix your computor.
Hope your sons finger is better soon, when is your car going to be sorted?
I agree you have to persist with the police, I had a lot of trouble getting them to take action when my ex was hassling and stalking me. There are now police commissioners for each police force (lay people) click here to find yours. Contact them on the basis that you have reported a crime and have had no appropriate response. Hopefully a contact from them to your local station will mean they HAVE to do something. You also need to ask the police for an incident number (this is a crime reference number and means they have had to log it properly)
morning well the police did ring back and to them yes hacking is a crime but they could say that he is only gaining his files from when we were married so tech he as done nothing wrong so when i asked to go in and completely enable my computer and change the login user name thats ok its a grey area !! plus to come out of parents evening and drive around is not wrong well tech he could say he was on the way home yes i do get this but to do this is way out of his way . well they are comibg tonight to hear me and take down all the recent things he he is leading up to something but its the what ? never thought he would after so long go into the school or do this to the computer its not good .
louise ive had a look and my area west mids i have not got one this time i rang i was given a crime number i did say will it take a another hitting or even them to come out to me with a body bag before they listen to me im trying to stay calm and carry on but this sat as upset me lots cause to do that is sad and what could be his next move ?
got my car back last night little one went to school yest but found it really hard and i still think he has broken it but see what they say fri when i take him back
Hopefully they will do an xray on Friday, Shaz, though when my son broke a bone in his hand they just strapped two fingers together and said keep it dry (that was jolly fun trying to help an embarrassed 15 year old in the shower and it was just before his GCSEs too!)
Good that you got your car back.
The driving around thing is annoying but the computer thing is really invasive. Do hope they come tonight
well police came the computer thing they say is a grey area and could he be only looking and we were married so were they his when we were together plus changing my login well thats been sorted and it only stopped me as he not taken anything from say my bank they not doing anything . they have had a word with him and warned him about harassing me and if it carries on then they will arrest him and charge him and to keep to his court order about the kids . well he was told about little attending a&e and plastered it on facebook and mouthing about me on there so dont really think he will take much notice but there is hope . well its logged and i have a number so least they are aware of it and if anything else should happen il be calling again but hoping no more now .
off to inform the schools this morning to keep them informed and upto date hope everyone is well another wet and dull morning here
Well done shaz 5 for dealing with this and they will warn him again, he will know it has been investigated. Hope you can start to feel a bit more peaceful now 
morning all my sons thumb is healing slowly just the swelling to go down but that is slowly but can use it more .
yes with ex hopefully things will settle though last fri he did write to me a nice letter saying thankyou for keeping upto date with his son but wants me to email or call him instead of posting a letter , there is no way he is haviong my email address and to call well i shall have to find a telephone box cause i changed things so not to keep getting nasty calls and emails so not going back . he wanted to know about the one if still recieving counselling and schooling but funny enough apart from saying thankyou about the little one didnt ask about him. i have sent a short polite reply back but im not going there writing etc ive moved on and as for telling the police wantiong to be friends and come around for coffee with her too well im sure thats not going to happen at all he still i feel as no idea or choices to block in his mind what he has done .
i need some advice here been thinking about starting up house cleaning on my own and packing in the lunchtime job but not sure if i can and able too with recieving working tax etc . just wanted to know as i am looking into it and before i make the long call to the tax people whether anyone knew if i could still get them ?
hope all is well with everyone
Glad your sons thumb is healing nicely shaz, great idea to use the phone box so you don't get any funny phone calls.
As far as i know you can claim tax credits and be self employed, tax credits are more dependent on the amount you earn rather than working status, have a look at this link it explains about self employment and tax credits. Here is a link about setting up your own business i thought might be helpful to look at as it has some useful tips.
Well done shaz5, the thing to do is be polite but not be drawn into anything, you have been so strong.
Sally has given you some helpful links regarding the working tax credit. You still need to work the 16 hours minimum per week but this includes time for doing your admin such as accounts and things like canvassing for business. My top tip is keep a record of everything, and receipts for everything...you don't need an accountant if it is just you. You also need to register with your local Tax Office if you become self employed. I went to a really helpful free workshop about things, click here to find out about these.
Hi Shaz
Good luck with the business idea. I hope you're ok.
morning all hope you all had a good christmas ... well yet again was building myself up to knowing he would do something but in the hope that he would do this time what the police had told him but ha no way during the early hours of christmas eve i had a visitor . cause i was worried of what he may be up too i had not slept well so when the outside light came on i was up at the window and saw him dressed in a hoodie dropping off cards through the door . but he was warned not to come to the house by the police the other week and it is in the order to go through the post but think he as different idea of what of post is !!
well i rang the police as was told to but they said ye si was right in ringing really cause he didnt see the kids and being christmas should let this go i was upset i know what they are saying but why cant they see that it is upsetting and really he is not going to listen at all .
after kicking up a huge fuss over me not telling him straight away about when our son broke his thumb there was no note asking how he was hope he is ok no nothing just a card with £30 in vouchers in there not even the gift card from game like was agreed . the vouchers were in shops really not suitable , it hurt really as really now he is out to hurt me and really after a year of not writing to them now is he bothered with them anwser is no .in my heart i knew this would happen but cant understand why after now he as begun to kick up a fuss for what really
after i wrote asking him to go live his life but a gentle reminder to say look who asnt wrote to the boys nothing it is sad .
the first christmas he sent loads and loads but never got his friend to come and get them and exchange them last year they had a gift card of £40 selection box and i was threaten to use csa to get the boys a bike or he would take me to court over extra csa payment now to just £30 says it all really
he coming and seeing that the boys knew i had to call the police again brought it back to out first xmas alone and it has not been nice really and feeling taking tree down and the police keep saying get a injuction but that is going to cost lots and lots ive not got and to top it all my own dad cant be bothered not heard off him for awhile so last monday i sent a text just saying my parenst to me are a joke and what ever happened over 44 years ago was not is not my fault well they say truth hurts and may be ive hit a cord with him so this xmas i felt alone more than i did before and with my aunt not being here its hard
wish my ex would crawl up somewhere or i go around and have it out with him which is what he wants me to do and not going too but seeing the boys upset hurts and i do what the police officer said any more and call us for what not able to do anything it will take him to hit me or go to the boys for anything to be done now
Hello shaz how upsetting for you, you felt safe and this has been undermined. Added to that, you feel sad that the boys' dad has not bothered with them much and has given them less than you thought.
I do think he knows he that if he approached you directly this would be taken very seriously. I understand why the police thought it was Ok for him to deliver cards BUT I truly sympathise with you though, the thought of an ex at your front door is awful. I went through a phase like that, with notes dropped off at 6am and silent midnight phone calls etc, as you say it is a case of wishing they would just go away and never come back. Sadly when we have a child with someone then we almost always have a tie to them until the children are older and although it seems a daunting task at the moment but now, looking back, it has gone quickly and before you know it, the boys will be older and things will be easier.
How are things going with the possible new business?
morning and happy new year to you all yes it was not nice to have him there but he wants to get at me and this is his way of doing it he will not like the police telling him what to do so i shall keep logging it and calling them if i have to
at the back of his mind he would be thinking why as her aunt not wrote or texted me telling me to back off but she would have had she been here :(
im going to write the cards today and post them through some shops and wait and see if anything comes of it
Keeping a log in situations such as yours is always a good idea, shaz.
Good luck with the business - my friend worked as a cleaner for years (before starting another business up) & really enjoyed doing it. I hope you have some phone calls from potential clients soon
Happy New Year shaz. And I'm sure you will do well with your business venture.
morning all sorry not been on here but been trying to get things done and been busy , had my older sons room decorated just got to find someone to put up some shelves for me asked a friend 3 weeks ago this is where i get upset cause unable to do it .
job wise only heard off one for the cleaning but she wanted me to work for here and be self employed but then that caused problems for my job that i clean on the night so now i was given a job by the lunchtime school extra 8 hours aweek not ideal job sweeping the playground cause trust me its very hard work and back breaking and not nice in this rain either but it will help and once i get used to it il do ok im just getting used to it .
we all have had this terrible cold and cough and im still trying to get over it which as wiped me out over the weekend , roll on half term least i will trying and rest even though cleaning have to go in for as it is deep clean the school while there are no kids .
well ex is still driving past and hanging around on certain days sick now of it never will learn and calling the police well give up no one seems to listen the test will be thursday as my little one as parents evening see if he shows up outside the house again like last time and i waved to him . you would think by now he would give up been having afew troubles with the electrics in the shed and i was convinced he had something to do with it cause since his aunt came to visit that as all stopped too but think cause the alarm and computer was his doing think its hard for me to see any other reason as to why that would play up
well hope everyone is ok cold morning again
Shaz 5, helloooo! Lovely to hear from you as always :)
How is your hand? Is it the cause of you not being able to put shelves up? Does your son like his 'new' room?
Sweeping the school playground, does sound like hard work, but just think how fit you will become.......whilst earning money!
I am sorry to read that your ex is still bothering you, he is doing it to get to you, so I am thinking that the only thing we can do here is to change your own mind set. When you see him, rather than feeling agitated at it, can you turn it around to feeling pity? or something similar?
I too thought that my ex was responsible for things going missing and stuff breaking, I thought he had been tampering with things, but rather than him being my first port of call for reasons, I decided that I will deal with it regardless of how or who did it. Again this took away blame and I didn't spend days being cross with him.
It is so nice when you pop in and say hello and keep us updated. Have you 'Liked' our One Space Facebook page? No one can see that you have liked it, but you will be kept up to date with things that are happening on One Space
morning all thursday was parents evening at my little ones school again and yes ex came a different time to me but yesterday at work i got a call from the deputy head saying that my son was crying and very upset as my ex had wrote him a message in his book for him to read it was well done son love daddy x . the school are not happy as we are not allowed to write in their books so they are writing to him and my even think of banning him from further parent evenings . they have to give my son new books and took all his books away yesterday to go through .
there are no words i can say now if he wanted to write well done then why not write him a letter which to the court order he is supposed to do and as not when i think he cant shock anymore then he does but my son was upset and cried as soona s i picked him up from after school club .then of course after going to the school i had the normal drive by
as i see it i must be very interesting still for this to keep going on or he is still fixed on hurting me my hope is that one day he will get bored !!! but i have said this for awhile now and yet it keeps carrying on but not to hurt the boys now it has to stop cause its getting sick now and the police see it through the eyes of the law and what is he doing is nothing really though now it is harassement
Hello shaz 5, how sad for your boy to be upset but at least the school took prompt action. I truly believe the situation will get better but really understand that it must be awful waiting and wondering what next. Keep up the good work, you are doing so well and write these things down with dates in case you do need to take some action (on their own they might not seem serious but as a "pattern" that may be seen in a different light).
morning well after a year and half my x as wrote to the boys abit shocked bearing in mind they are 12 and 9 the older one he as asked him is he into decorating and doing up the house and where are you living now ? well yes he loves diy and lives somewhere other than with me lol and the little one when he broke his thumb which was a total accident he wrote to him asking how is your hand and this so called " incident " if was hope is better and as asked both of them to write back as he feels that they never get the letters so he wants something back to see . it is their choice not to write back but all letters have been kept in a box each for when ever they want to read them . the reason for not writing for so long is because he as been too busy with diy on his rented house ha really have to laugh otherwise go mad
i am shocked really what he as put and at a loss as to why now all of a sudden to start playing nice dad i have left it up to them if they want to reply this time
It's not easy, I know.
Hi shaz 5, thanks for sharing this. This is exactly the same sort of letter my daughter used to receive, once in a blue moon, it continued sporadically (once a year or less) up unti 2 years ago.
Try and see it for what it is, he isn't all of a sudden playing nice dad, he has just one day managed to pick up pen and paper, find a stamp and go the letter box.
Do the boys want to write back? My daughter did write back once and his return letter (about 2 months later) was all about how she was wrong for liking a certain type of music or food etc and that his way was better. She didn't respond to that, he'd taken too long and there was nothing for her (at 11) to say!
I would try to let it go over your head, you are in a safe space, legalities are sorted and your ex isn't being consistent. If your boys want to write let them, if he does want to be 'nice dad' then great (although personally I don't see anything 'nice' in his letter, but then I am not as close to the situation) but they will soon get despondent with it if he doesn't respond in a way that they expect or respect. If they don't want to write back, then thats fine too, life goes on.
morning all yes he did reply and let out afew things and told him that he would not be writing ever again and heard nothing else .
it was parents evening thursday and i have to say the school were really brill and helped me loads , he did turn up and was told to leave when it was my time and he was escorted off the school and hall doors were closed then as so he couldnt try to get back into the building .
it is sad in away that it as to be like this but school were really good and see what happens in 2 weeks time as to whether he shows up for option night as he will not be allowed to enter so hopefully he will leave without fuss if he comes !
That was reassuring, shaz, that you felt safe. As Anna says, all the legalities have now been sorted. I was quite surprised that he asked a 12 year old boy whether he was interested in decorating. You're right to keep the letters in case the boys do want them in the future, keep up the good work!
Thanks for the update shaz5, great to see that the school have finally taken on board the situation
morning all option night went well the other night my son as picked and it is going to be hard but it is what he wants to do and in the easter holis he wants me to take him to the army recruiment centre to get info on joining up and what he needs in exams to do the medical corp. i cant say im happy but it is what he as said he wants to do so i shall be beyond him supporting him .
though he is still young and time to change his mind like he said he as said about the army before and ive said no etc but i cant he as to do what he wants
the school wrote to my ex and told him he couldnt come to the option night as they could not give him a different time and sent him the info but not sure what he can do with it as its down to my son what he wants to do . he as asked for photos of him now and they will send him when they have them done but cant the last 2 something he as not asked for before nor as asked at my little ones school and yet he wrote to him after his parents evening but still nothing for the older one
well its his doing and he will see one day what he as done and one day apart of me thinks he is going to try and take the kids back to cafcass to try to see them but they are still stronmg in not wanting to see him
It never seems to get easier.
Hi shaz 5 nice to 'see' you
I can't have read your previous post properly, it was your eldest's 'options night' - wow! how quickly they grow!
I think it is fab that he has an idea what he wants to do and as you say, all we can do is support them.
Has your ex written again then requesting photos?
morning anna he as asked the school for photos but they have not kept my sons year 7and 8 photos its nothing to do with the school they have someone come in but they will send him from now on but was thinking he may have wrote to me asking but not as yet nor as he wrote asking what as our son picked for his options which i did think he would have but hasnt .
taking him to the cadets tomoz to see about joing and then this will see if the army is what he wants to do
It is great that he has an ambition, and you can go along and find out more about it...as you say, your ex is always surprising you with what he asks for or doesn't ask for isn't he?
Your eldest must be 14 now?
morning all well things have happened here and now my ex as wrote to us all in letters for us each the boys he is saying well done he is proud and wants to see them and that my elder son who girlfriend parents divorced too but she sees them both he wants this now as he saw them when he went to parents eveing . we used to know both of them when they were together . he also put that he was there for both parents evening and option night to which i know and the school knows he couldnt come to option night . he went on by saying though he has no say in what he wnats to pick he wants to know and help . asked him about judo which they dont do its streeet wise karate the younger one went on to say he as had some photos given to him by the school and he is handsome fella and asked what he likes doing and was his hand healed all to which way back in dec i wrote and told him he was fine and that they both swim and do karate . it is like im not here and me writing to inform him of things is a waste of space here !
to me he wrote have i got any further in getting the boys to see him as been along time since the court and i should have done something to improve it as he as rights to see them and if i think the court order where it states no direct contact only contact is via letter is no going to stop him and it is only me that provents him seeing them and i need to grow up and be a human and let him see the boys as ive made them stop wanting to see him .
i was not in the room with them when they were interviewed by cafcass and i have always said he could see them but id have wanted a contact centre because of the way he is and for the boys to feel safe
im so tired of this i cant begin to say things go quite then up he pops i have sat both boys down and again asked if they would like to see him but no they are both strong in that no .
im at a loss as what to say and do here i was under the impression that the court order in no direct conact was until they were 18 i have got to ring today and see where i and they stand for all i know he could be just wanting to scare me and try to controll me still but i really cant make them see him and it is their choice and their words not mine and never as been . they are both older now little one will be 10 this year and teh older one is 13 so they know their minds.
hope everyone had a good easter i took my son to the army to get info for him and to get his army boots ready for cadets . he was so pleased and i was so upset lol hearing he could start at 16 if he really wants to but think 18 upwards is best he wants the medical corp so he does know that much and now as to work for the grades .
just before easter my friend lost her son to cancer so sad he was only 17 but least the cancer didnt kill him it was a infection but he was too ill to fight but he had his wish that cancer wasnt going to kill him and it didnt and really he was only told in the aug he had cancer and died april so not long in pain but so so sad
well another day and off to drop son to school so best sign off
Dear shaz 5, lovely to hear from you, but a difficult time right now. Your poor friend coping with the death of her young son, devastating, which no doubt will have had an impact on you too.
I think you will find that your ex will pop up again and again over the years, mine certainly did! I suppose in the long run, it shows that boys that he tried and you should never give up! (not a bad quality, even though it can be annoying) It sounds as though they are pretty resolute about not wanting to see him though and that is where you can take your lead from.
He can only control you if you let him. I too presumed that no direct contact was until they were 18, so i would be interested in hearing what your solicitor says??
Hi shaz 5, great to hear from you but sorry to hear your having a tough time of it. Sounds like your boys are growing up fast, how awful for your friend to loose her son i'm sure your being a great support but as you say so sad for you all.
Regarding your ex contacting you and the boys i'm not sure that there will be much that they can do, even though it sounds like he has broken the court order, do let us know what your solicitor thinks!!
morning all my solicitor signed me off when it was all done so if i was to go to them now id have to start over again so i rang cafcass and they gave me a number who were fab and gave me info they wanted me to call the police but they wont do much as really they say he as not appoarched me or the boys he does things to bend rules .
they told me that the order is on the boys till they were 18 and no direct contact means no contact so him asking to see them is not good and want me to get a non molestation order .
i also rang the courts who were lovely and they too was not happy and told me that by him approaching the house he shouldnt and could be arrested so they also told me about the order and advised me to do that as it carries more powers and would stop him coming to the as he as been doing like 3 weeks agao i was about to go to sleep i heard a cars engine outside looked out there he was looking up at me things like this is becoming a pain and yet i laugh it off and say i must be important or very pretty that he shows still a interest but it could turn nasty i suppose if not nipped in the bud now as they say so im off to sort out the order tomorrow and what i have to do etc .
i dont mind him writing but to beg now to see the boys is much and to start wanting to play the happy father after so long is much he went a year without even writing to the boys he could have wrote to me asking about them and as not ive wrote to him when my little one did break his thumb and kept him upto date with what they were doing etc and then to blame me saying im stopping him from the boys is a no no he forgets that last oct he went into school asking to see the older one and they were on the ball and said no court order which then he denied having on him so while i have breathe and they dont want to see him as i have asked again and they have not changed their minds i will have to do something now before it gets too much .
Hi shaz 5, I am very impressed with your pro-activity! You have gained a lot of knowledge around this situation and now this can be turned into power.
I am interested to know who the number Cafcass gave you was for? They very obviously seemed supportive.
So tomorrow you are off to get a non molestation order, good for you! You really are holding all the cards now.
How are you feeling? Are you feeling more empowered? Or do you just have your head down right now, getting on and doing what needs to be done?
morning anna it was child legal aid line they were good but not sure if you can only do this if been through cafcass ?
im feeling numb cause i just want to live and not having to keep looking back and i had put all the paperwork away but im not getting at my ex but he really is not getting that it is not me but it is the the kids and their choice i just got them heard, but to do this i have to when he writes that the court case is not going to stop him then something as to be done . he will flip i know that but then hopefully he will leave us alone .
i have to say that when i found myself to be single i was scared everything really and i have had good and bad advice given to me and various things to go to get advice but i have to say and i really mean this here this site as been there for me and gave me adivce when needed gave me links for help and words of comfort too . we have all been at the same point at some time so can help others and this has . when i was going through my court ordeal and cafcass words here helped and didnt make it so scary so thankyou one space for being here when needed im glad this site is here and up and running :)))
Hi shaz 5, thanks for the info for the child legal aid line, I did have a look and wonder if it was Coram, we do have connections there and this post has inspired to me to see if we can work a bit closer together in the future.
It is so very hard when things have calmed down and then they rear their ugly heads again and we have to get back into the 'fight' mode. I always wonder where I ever got the strength from when I was going through the worst of it.
Your ex may well continue every now and then to try and push the boundaries, so it is important that you get everything in place and when it happens you be especially kind to yourself and see it for what it is. Easier said than done, but try not to get into a frenzy, just know he is trying to push your buttons, he is having a tantrum and this time will pass.
Thank you so much for your kind words about the support you have gotten from One Space, it means so much to us all, it truly does. We love watching how people grow and manage to find the strength to move on, so well done you!
Hello shaz5 just to encourage you, also. Anna is right, you have achieved so much. We are really proud of you
I do sympathise with how tired you feel with the whole thing. You are doing so well. Please be assured that he does not have a "right" to see the boys, the rights in law are on the side of the boys, in other words children have a right to a relationship with their parents, provided it is safe for them to do so...and in this case the court has ruled that it is NOT safe. You have already seen that the system is backing you up to enforce that and possibly get a non-molestation order. Stay strong, you hold all the cards 
hello all well im in front of the judge on thursday at 10.15 it so scary having done all the paperwork and made a 8 page statement to go along with the order it is scary thinking ive got to do this without a solicotor along side of me and ive got not only answer for myself but for the boys too . just hope that they see what he has been up to and stay on my side.
for me this as never been a win or lose game or any game at all but just about me getting and the boys getting on and living our lives now im hoping that this is granted and now finally things will stop and he will finally leave us alone and live . the boys are still strong in the fact they dont want to see their dad not then or now and with the things he has been doing as not helped so i really cant see things changing very soon either .
thankyou anna and louise for yet again for your encouragement i dont doubt he has missed the boys but what as got me that looking through all my stuff he is supposed to write to them every month and the whole year of 2013 there was not one letter wrote to them from him only just a card for birthday and xmas so really can he state that he is there for the boys and really being a dad i was shocked in that finding as i did think he had wrote good job i have kept everything it as helped but things like this needed to be kept if not for things like this but for the boys for when they are older if they want to look at it all . well 2 hours of copying the documents all done and ready for thursday now wow think my printer needs a break lol good job i had brought new ink not so long back now need paper lol
well hope everyone is well im off for a long cup of tea
Hi shaz5
Will have everything crossed for you on Thursday, hope you get the outcome you need
morning all well i went to court yest and was granted the order but it is only for a year and ive had to pay for a bailif to serve the order on my ex which hopefully is going to be done this morning but then next fri i have to go back to court and he should show to hear his side and thsi could be over turned . the judge was nice and he said in all what i have put it does look like there could be course for hassement but there is two sided to a story and yet he should not be asking the boys to see him where there is already a court order in place so i was shocked to find that ive got to go back next week and he could possibly be there that is not going to be nice at all .
it wasnt as scary as i thought going and doing this even though i did break down and cry as it jsut brought back things that i had put to the back of my mind and had laid to rest , whats more scary being able to do this and have no legal person there with you . i did bump into my solicitor i had when going through divorce and she was shocked to see me there and what had been going on she said he should ahve been arrested as coming to the house is not what he should be doing but you face a wall and i suppose its that words 'grey area' that the police find it hard to deali with or know what to do plus there are lots out there that like to brush it under the carpet so to speak and i really do get that as ive come across people that when you say what as gone on they dont want to talk or make a excuse sad really but it is the sign of times that we live in .
so he cant write to me , text or call me whic he as not cause no number cant come 100 metres of me or work not to come outside the house not to use soical networks to say bad things about me and not to get any other person to coemt o me to upspet me to keep to writing to the as part of the court but to only go to their schools if arrangements have been made so in all good but shocked that i have to go back plus he being there if he shows !
Hello Shaz 5, what a day you had, and you make it sound so like you are in control! You told an amazing story there, I know next week will be tough and there are some hurdles left to jump, but what an achievement, to go from deciding that enough was enough to getting a successful court hearing and a temporary order, and all in the space of a week! Well done you! AND without a solicitor!
It also sounds like you have has some good service from the professionals involved as well, it’s good to hear that there are some decent people out there that are prepared to give good advice and to listen to what you had to say. Stay strong about the next hearing, all the evidence is on your side, and that temporary order gives you a lot of power, they would not have granted it without thinking there was a good reason for it.
It sounds as if your boys are handling it really well, how are they taking it? They certainly sound as if they know their minds about all this.
Again, well done Shaz!
I agree with sergiozed, you do hold a handful of aces now. Good luck for Friday and is it possible to take a friend along for support, even if they can't go into the actual court with you, to sit with you beforehand? I would also suggest you contact the court beforehand and ask that you are able to wait in a separate waiting room, and explain that you have the non-mol in place.
morning both yes it was not nice to go into court again but really had very little choice the older one could not care as long as he doesnt have to see their dad the younger one well he as got upset and cried and gone back to being clingy but ive sat them both down and chatted and said look no one is making you it is down to you if you want to see him and they are more stronger in no .
no friday im not looking forward too but there is no saying he will attend he doesnt have too but i think he will just to get to me . dont think he could get a solicitor ready for fri but we shall see. im trying to get a friend to go with me but they work or live away so at the min its hard i shall ring the courts see what they say .
just when i had put all this behind me and boxed all teh paperwork away ive had to get it out and now trying to get a photo of him so i can take it into work so should he show they know what he looks like
one day he will give in and may be fingers crossed after this he will see there is no hope
on a different note the older one started cadets and likes it so thats good the younger one as just had a school trip loved that messing about in a pond but looks like a cold is brewing and ive got 3 jobs now so im totally shattered but good lol
Sorry to hear you are going to have to go back to court again on Friday shaz shame they could not have wrapped it all up on Thursday, you are doing a grand job off holding it all together, boys and 3 jobs not sure how you manage it all.
I would give Louise's suggestion about trying to get somewhere to wait ago..
I'm sorry that you're having to face this Shaz.
Hi shaz 5 I agree it is a worry about parents' evening and the school sounds a bit offhand about it all. Hope you get on Ok at the doctor.
I will speak to Anna today and ask her to chase up your legal query with the expert.