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Sorry things are difficult shaz. I've been wondering how things were going.
Strangely enough my lot are finding it hard me being out all day at work, and youngest is 13! Because I either ran a business from home or worked nights, or was home for a few years, it isn't what they're used to...
I was thinking of how things will be when my FiL dies (he is very poorly), and I've decided I won't be able to go to the funeral as it will be too difficult for a lot of people as I'm not a member of the family anymore. I figure my older two should go to represent the family... The extended family on The Git's side are not in touch with the children, even though they were very kind when I saw them at BiL's funeral.
It's a "funny" thing, isn't it?
It's all a weird thing, if you ask me! You have to think of these things, sparkling.
Shaz I can imagine how heartbreaking it is for you. In one sense your friend is right, the boys DO have to get used to it. However that is no reasons not to be sensitive about their feelings. After what they have been through, they will be feeling insecure and you are their anchor. You did the right thing explaining things to them, they WILL get more confident, but it will take time. All you can do is stay calm and keep reassuring them.
You are doing well with your swimming!
Hi shaz5, when our children have been through so turmoil it is only natural for us to protect them and every cry they make we are concerned. However, if you show your youngest that it is a 'matter of fact' that you have to go to work, he will find it easier to come to terms with. If they see or feel that it upsets us too, they will continue to find it difficult. Think of a toddler going to nursery for the first time. They will be safe, have fun and you will be back soon. This is similar. You gotta do what you gotta do.
You have an awful lot going on don't you. What with ex rearing his head, ex brother in law and then your uncle too. I hope that you are looking after yourself??
My ex's mum never took the branch that I offered her, I am still seen as the bad guy. Try not to let it get to you. Just remember they need to see their sons in the better light for their onw sanity perhaps??
You could run off, but these things never go away, but they do become easier to deal with and less important as life moves on and you have newer things to think about.
morning all what a horrible day outside is today looks like it will be wet play for me . i have had a good chat with my boys and they understand that this is how it as to be and yet in sept when my older one starts seniors the little one will be in after school club by himself so that is again something new he as to get used too . once they have done it afew times they will be ok , just all new to them . i think that hurts me the most is why people take sides when i always say i dont mind but there is two sides to a story and yet who was it that lied , cheated then they cant answer me funny that are well people like that do i need them answer no really . i have stopped saying what did i do wrong or where did i go wrong cause really he did the lying and the cheating it is him that as the peoblem in not talking and yet people can go along blinking that out then they are jsut as bad as him . i know i have gotten stronger but yet i know that im not out the woods yet as i have still got things to sort out and i will get there just now i dont seem to worry as much about them as i did before . to me crown court settled me and alot of things out for me
Yes it will take a while before you can start to feel calmer, shaz, remind me have you had some counselling yourself? You could maybe go/go back again when you start to reflect on all that has happened.
Brace yourself for wet playtime!
morning all well it was half day wet play and too be honest we all dread wet play but my class was ok last nite when i was at work i saw a colleague of my ex and i was asked how was i and the kids etc then i was told well i will get things sorted when we are divorced said thats done and he told me that my ex has told them that he came away from the court with nothing , i said no he was found gulity. my ex as even told them that he sees the boys ! now that is a laugh as he as not even asked to see them , only through my son and he didnt answer him as at court he was told that for any contact he would have to go through family court and he as not even tried for that yet. how do they live with them selves and the lies surely they dont think that one day it will bite him and the truth will come out . and yet again im made too look like the baddie and thats the thing i really hate and i feel like i need to walk around with a poster on me to tell people . last nite i was in shock as to what my ex as told them at work , he mate did say he didnt want to hear it or should he . in the job that he does he needs to have a clean crbcheck to do or enter places . now i know im well out of it and now i want the rest sorted as soon as poss and then i dont want to ever have any dealings with hiom again if i can help it
can this happen when they go like this ? or is it just me and mine
Hello shaz
Well I guess in a small community then it will always be possible for people to get hold of one side of the story or another. Infuriating as this may be, firstly you can hold your head up as you know the truth and secondly, you know the only reason he is making up these stories is that he is actually ashamed of the truth and knows what people would think of him if they knew it.
Try your best to rise above it, you are going forward with your life now!
It's not easy and it's something you can't control.
I know things were so different here as I didn't go through violence, yet The Git must have told some awful tales as those I thought were good friends never got in touch with me again (even in response to contact), and I know people think he's a fabulous father.
If they don't want to hear the 'other' side then I accept that. I was gutted at the time and probably always will be, expecially as two of the women were, I thought, really close friends.
Some people have found out how things are since, but I'm afraid I've been rather cold towards them, as there's no trust now.
With the CRB. They're only renewed every five years unless an up-to-date one is requested. We're starting a new contract with a national company and they're insisiting that all the CRBs are under three months old. In theory, the company will need to ask for a new CRB... Strangely enough its seems to be that its only sexual additions to the CRB that they're concerned about (going by the induction course we had this week).
morning all well things have not been so good at the min and made worse as i have got such a rotten head cold and cough that as gotten me down . i have recieved his e form yesterday and on them he has lied saying that he pays me money each week for the kids and that he wants half the house and he says that the car is worth more than it was and yet i sold that as that was too big for me and expensive! im was scared on the house bit and the car . also he has not put down the crown court bit , when i saw his bank statements i was horrifeid too say the least . within 10 months he as paid out over £900 on eating out plus i found other things that have been so upsetting and i have got to see if he as had the bailiffs come to him as he as paid out well over £1400 to them or more . i am scared for the out come abit now and im not sure if he is of sound mind if he can miss out on putting that he went to crown court and was found gulity!
it will be a phone call to the solic today and then there is cafcass, saturday i had the letter that in away i was dreading. i knew it was coming but still not nice and i know that this is where it will get nasty and i will have to be stronger now than ever. as if the courts dont take into what the boys want then i dont know how i would get them there to their dads ?
things have not gone too well with my mom either and i feel that it as to end . thursday nite she came over and told me that i was being a selfish ..... and that i couldnt allow others in to help and that i had 2 sides to the family and that i need to decide which is it i need and that i had to pick tonight . meaning my aunt who she had not spoken to for a couple of years due to her being jealous then saturday i let the kids stay there thought it be nice for me to have a break and boy do i wish i had not i had a son that was crying when i left and a son that was crying when i went to collect the next day due to what she had said to him . that when he doesnt get his own way he loses his temper and this is when he is like his dad and he will hit out like he as i went mad at my son first of just in case he did he did say that he was shouting as she was putting words into his mouth and that was all and he didnt go mad when he didnt get his own way i feel that my ex is sweet smelling of roses and im the badie again trying to stay up beat is hard at the min again
Hi shaz5
It sounds as if you need to keep yourself to yourself for a bit. You have a lot to deal with at the moment with the finances and CAFCASS. Make sure you tell your solicitor about the untruth of some of the things on the Form E. Try not to worry too much about the house, the court looks to preserve a home for the children, not for him. From an outsider's point of view (me) he is not coming up smelling of roses at all!
I'm sorry things aren't so good. xx
Hi shaz5, we knew these difficult times were to come. It can be so hard to keep going when all the pressures and fingers are pointing at you.
At this time, I feel you only need positive people in your life, who are there to support you and your boys. You have enough on your plate without people asking you to take sides or speak unthoughtfully to your boys.
I know that you feel right now that you have to be 'in control' of everything, but could you ask your auntie and see if she can help some more?
Have you been going to dance recently and releasing those hormones?? Great way to de-stress - as you know.
We are here for you through this next bit of your journey. I used to remind myself when I was going through all this stuff - 'this time next year it will all be different'.
Did you get to speak with your solicitor today?
morning all i rang my solic yesterday and she has already noted the large amounts coming from his account and would like answers monday when we go to court, not loking forward to that as he will be there . had my call from cafcass yesterday and that was not nice and i was really upset after towards the guy did say that at the end the kids could still be made to see their father and when i said then how the hell do i get them there all i got was we have to see just not nice again here at teh min when i think things are ok i just get hit again.
i cant ask my aunt much at the min as we were told friday that there is nothing more they can do for him other than make him comfortable so i dare not ask and i feel bad as it is talking about my problems when he is dying
i dont do the dance classes no more as i work and when i come out i wouldnt have much time to get the tea ready or sort the boys out before i had to go that is why i like going swimming friday but tehn again i have the kids with me . in away i was hoping that things with my mom would work out so i could have time on my own as i dont get a break but it asnt . trying not to go backwards in how i am feeling but it is hard
it is hard more harder than i thought but what choice do i have but to carry on others have done it so can i
Yes, you CAN do it and we will be right beside you. I agree with Anna that it is a good idea to avoid people that drain you, right now.
A suggestion about CAFCASS: if it comes to the question of them saying the boys ought to see their dad, explain that the boys are frightened after the violence and have had to have counselling to cope, and say that if CAFCASS think that contact should go ahead, that a programme of gradual introduction is needed and what can they suggest? They will probably suggest mediation and if you can be very patient then any programme of mediation may in the end prove too onerous for him to comply with. You need to appear to be going along with things whilst not actually having to do so. Also (ideally) could you get a letter from the counselling people explaining the boys' fears and how difficult things have been for them after the violence?
It's truly awful facing an ex in a court, I have done it myself, although as I say it is more like a headmaster's study setup than a formal court. Hold you head high and remember you have done nothing wrong and you have also told the truth.
Thinking of you shaz5 - yes you can do it 
We have...and are still here to tell the tale
It will get easier, I believe you have the inner strength to get you through this, youwill come out the other side shining.
hi i tired so much yest to post on here my wall and on some others that i was having troubles . i know that i wil have and will find the strength for us all but at the min i feel low again and so tired not helped with not being able to shake off this cold .
also got told last night that my uncle may only have three weeks to 3 months to live as the cancer has taken a hold now so that as got to me and not having anybody i can share it with or get a cuddle as got to me also
life is so strange at times and the more i read what he as put in his e form makes me mad and some points i hope that my solic can get answers for that is what i cnat get my head over is he knows he has lied and yet he can live with that . no facing seeing him in court is something i am not looking forward too at all yet i know this as to be done and i will do it as others have
Hi shaz
It sounds as if it would be great if you could cut yourself some slack this weekend, have a bit of a rest, give yourself a treat. I am sorry to hear about your uncle, too. Look after yourself and let us know what treat you can plan for yourself!
morning what a horrible weekend weather yesterday was bad yet another fence panel gone and now a leak in the conservatory roof added :( the boys have both been quite and crying teh older ones teacher appoarched me at school friday saying that he is not good there over the last few weeks . when i ask him he says he is ok but this as been since my mom came back and since his dad as texted him and they know that they could end up seeing him. to be honest im not too sure where to go for help any more they just say they dont want to see him and want to be with me end of but they will have to open up to cafcass .
court today and so not looking forward to that at all and to top the weekend my mom came last night which ended up in heated words and her being asked to leave . infront of me she said my son was a bitter little sad spolit boy who attacks just like his dad he was sitting there and screaming at her and crying . i asked her what is her problem with me and why she seems to attack me when ever she feels she can and like that thursday night when she told me i had to pick between my family she of course said that she had not sadi that and that it was me all bolis down to me being twisted and bitter and that is why my ex left and why i will never find anybody else . i stood up for myself against her but she will always come back and say she never say things or does things .its not good at the min in my household and not only to have to get the strength to do the divorce bits but i have to deal with what she has said and to deal with the kids and my uncle i now feel that it is only time now and it will be sooner than we think very down at the min and keep thinking that there will be a light just wish it would be here now
Don't let her back in to your life shaz. You tried, it hasn't worked.
xxxx
Hi shaz5, thinking of you today and sending you superwoman strength - I know you have loads of your own, but thought I would share some of mine too.
I agree with sparklinglime, you accepted a new relationship with your mother and not only have you been hurt every time you see or speak with her, your boys are now getting affected too.
shaz5, it is hard doing this on your own, there aren't any arms to wrap around you on difficult days, but you will find other coping mechanisms.
You and your boys are a strong unit. You don't need any negativity around you, it is already impacting on the boys. A few months ago, although you were dealing with an awful lot, you were doing so well. You believed in yourself and your actions - so although life was tough, you were braving it.
You are coming close to the end of this little journey, you have to keep going, but do not let anyone take the place of your ex - ie someone else giving you grief.
morning all thankyou for your advice monday at the court was hard and very horrible being that close to him and him smirking at me and what i have now got to find for the end of the month just seems like he is smelling of roses and me the bad evil one . least he as agreed not to sell the house till the boys of age but he as not agreed to pay the mortage or the maintance . and yes i know he will have too but that bit as yet to be sorted . then there was letters from his solic asking for the boys and him saying i have twisted their minds and stopped them from seeing him , writing or speaking or even texting i heard that then had to go to court and see him and i was so upset . to see him all kitted out in new gear and the things i have seen in is bank statements as got to me alot. i was told that the kids could be made to see him or even they be spilt and just the little one go on his own and that i may have to try it and that may even be in his own house where he now lives . and i was told to come home and try to explain that to the boys
it may be when we go on the 11may the judge may ask for a wish list off the boys but even then they can be over ruled . this as hurt me as i have always tired to protect them and now i feel i have not been good to them and i can help them any more in this bit. i know with both bits i have a way to go yet but i have never been this tired and worn out thought crown court was bad enough this is worse i think .
since telling the kids they have been ok but have blanked it out till it happens i suppose they have said that they are scared the older one as said if has to go to try it out he doesnt have to speak to him and he would keep asking to leave . for me hearing that my ex as said that i have twisted their minds hurt i guess it would be like this
yes i have cut her out again and ye s that has hurt as i thought i would get help tried to speak to my sister last night but again nothing why do i feel that im th ewrong one in all this ...
least here it is dry for now
Hi shaz, well done for facing everything you had to cope with, don't forget that your boys' dad will put things to the court from his point of view, even if that is not justified or true. It's good that it seems you will be able to stay in the house. He will have to pay child support even if this is through the CSA and it will probably be up to you to pay the mortgage although the company may insist he stays on the mortgage.
Re the boys, you will just have to play that one by ear.
Sounds like you have done the right thing in dealing with your Mum
Take care and you are getting there now......
Loads of hugs shaz
Aww shaz5, what a stressful court situation, but unfortunately not rare at all.
It is a mothers job to protect her children (a fathers too actually). So many of us have had to work especially hard when our little ones have experienced abuse from their other parent, it is heart breaking. However we pull ourselves together for our kids, find them support, keep going and do everything we can so that they are not affected too much. Then we get taken to court and be told that you you can't protect them and that they may have to have access.
Thinking of you
It is infuriating and destroying. Please don't ever feel you haven't been good to them. You have been their rock and you weren't the one to put them in this position. So many mothers feel the same way as you do right now.
morning all sorry not been on here for a while but have had a rough few days and i cant see it getting any better yet :(( very sadly my dear uncle past away friday night so still deeply upset with that . the kids have really been upset and with the court thing and that they may have to see their father they have taken to it badly and i have been at a loss as to what to do or where to go really.
with my older son he as been crying at school and his behaviour as slighty gone off the track so they have called me in and now they are going to wriet in his diary each day as to how his day as gone . he as not been too bad and the teachers have taken him aside to talk to him and we think he is going to be ok .
with the having my ex's bank statements here and going over them trying to make sense of them as caused me alot of upset and stress . each time i look at them i see other things that may need to bring up with the solic . to think while he as been living a high life eating out as much as he has he couldnt bring himself to send cash for his sons or even to take the xmas presents back to exchange them . then yesterday i get the cafcass report and that blew me in there he staes that he never hit me or had done before yet he agrees that our son would be upset with what he has had to deal with but he blames me in controlling them and twisting their minds and he could build up a relationship with them given time. the person who did the report as said that he feels that a wishes and feeling report would be best not sure what that is? and taht they do a deeper report , we got court friday and i have a very bad feeling taht he will go bad if he dont get the answer he wants . he has said that i am a bitter person and hurt by what as gone on with him leaving and im using the kids and where as i have said that i would like the boys to see their father in a contact centre he says that i have never allowed him nor would i let him see the boys . it is just such a mess and yet i have said that i would like the boys to see their father yes i have said that i would only like it to take place in a contact centre but i have not said that i dont want them to see him it as been the kids why again do i feel that im the evil one and im never going to get the truth why after so long can a person change and it goes like who never know them ?
sunday we had a visit from his uncle and aunt from australia and that was to say very emotional . they wanted to know everything and they were hurt by what he as done and cant see why or how he as changed and they are going to see him but dont agree with what he has done or how he as gone about it . like me i do feel when his nan died and his step dad switched something in him as when he was young his dad died at 42 and this is the age he was when he left though this is no excuse . as i see it now yes if he did feel like he wanted to go he could have talked not had the affair like he as and yet he says he as done nothing wrong and always be there for the kids but he would put her first and be on his phone .
i have felt trapped as with this going on i have not been able to talk to my aunt and i had leaned on my friends but when the kids go to bed it hits me then and i have cried alot just wish i could see the end and yet when i think it is coming something shows up to put it further back . just dont want to be me at the min any more . seeing what my ex has put in the reports hurts alot and yet we had good times and i cant get my head round as to why he be like this .
and to top it i cant shake the cold away sorry i have gone on again but right now i hate where i am and me
Hi Shaz, wanted to write some words of support for you. Just look at everything you have gone through and achieved up until now. You have had to deal with horrendous issues and you have done that for your children and you have been strong. You are not even feeling well at the moment and the weather has been awful, and these things add to how down you are feeling, but reading here I can see what a lot you have had to cope with and done so well too. Please don't be hard on yourself because it isn't going to be great all at once...but you have already been to court and you are sorting through your Form E ( which in itself is a feat to do)...you really have done so much, much more than I think you are giving yourself credit for). You have really tried to make your relationship with your mother work, but as others have said....you have done all you can, but just sometimes you have to look after yourself, and honestly you don't need anyone to be negative towards you like that.
You are doing such a great job, even though it might not feel that way to you at the moment.Things will get better...you are getting through the worst now I think...but have so much to contend with....Give yourself a bit of time to really gather strength and be kind to yourself too. As you are saying you hate where you are at the moment, that is actually a positive thing I think, because it shows your strength of character that you know you want to get through this....
Don't take too much time thinking about him though....why he has to be like he is...it's wasted energy for you..he wil say all sorts of hurtful and twisted things to try and make you feel exactly as you do. At the end of the day the Court will always look to see what the childrens' best interests are in all this, and they will make sure they have a roof over their heads.....try and see it as a business transaction that you are now doing between strangers....
Hang in there...and BIG hugs for you xxxxx
Hello shaz, Firstly I am very sorry to hear about your uncle, I know he had taken a turn for the worse but it is still a shocking and sad time for you. On top of this, you have had that CAFCASS report. Of course we knew that the boys' dad was likely to deny everything and allege that you have influenced the boys. They will want to think about a constructive solution in the long run...but having to read that report must have been devastating.
It's important that you keep your focus now, you are moving forward to the next court date and it may be that not very much will happen then and it will be adjourned for further reports. What does your solicitor say?
Hi shaz 5, poor you, you have so much to contend with - it often feels like we have the whole world on our shoulders.
I am sorry to hear about your uncle, that on its own is enough to make you feel blue for a while and everyone needs time to heal after a bereavement.
As Mich says, not only are you contending with that, you are also feeling poorly, so what with the weather and the school, the visit from Aunt and Uncle ON TOP of the court, solicitors, the emotional pain that you have been left with AND NOW the cafcass report. You can't really expect yourself to be feeling too chipper right now.
Regarding the CAFCASS report, I want you to try and ignore everything he has said. I know how deep it hurts when you read lies about you and your children in those things. I know that you are striving for the very best for your boys and wouldn't want anything less.
The things that your ex has said is just a continuation of his abuse towards you. Try and take a step back, I know your boys future and wellbeing is at stake, but carrying all this isn't going to help you. You knew that he was going to be unreasonable and you know that he is a liar.
I am sorry to have to ask, but remind me, did he get found guilty for breaking your hand?? He was on bail, but then what happened?
Shaz, I'm so sorry you've lost your uncle.
I'm glad the school is being supportive with your son.
I wish I knew what to say. I don't. I don't understand how, sometimes, people we love turn into strangers.
Loads of hugs.
morning all i would like to say a big thankyou for all your commets. yes my ex was found gulity even though he says he went gulity for the sake of our son. one day he will have to face what he as said and done as it will hit him one day . im trying not to be too hard on myself and went agin friday to court for the start of the kids . he was there with his new girlfriend and i was shocked as to how bigger she was from me and nothing as to what i thought she was going to be .
well he still cant see the boys they have got to do a wishes and feelings report and some more reports have got to be done and we go back in sept for the hearing then. he was not allowed to have them for the birthday or for fathers day but the judge did grant that he could write letters and send gifts only for birthday , he did ask as to what would be in these letters ex replied to say that he loved them etc judge did say that even though i could pass on these letters it was going to be up to the boys if they read them or reply and that he believed that i wouldnt make them read or not to read them and that he would just have to live with that and in the end the judge did say that the boyes wishes had to come first and that he hoped that the boys would come around in time .
i have got to get a statement made out as to how i could take over the payments of the house being on such a low wage but if he paid maintence then i know i could do it so that is my next job to do then till july i think i can breathe i know that there as to be a end at some point for this .
had a good weekend with my neighbours and their daughters went for a nice meal on sat and then bowling sunday got deals on both so that helped . said now the treats have to slow down till im clear on what i got . but it was the pick me up we needed for now
thanks for the update - well done - glad you had a good weekend - be kind to yourself
Sounds as if you know where you stand a bit more...
I'm glad you had a good weekend.
Hi shaz5, it sounds as though you had a good judge there. I am glad to hear that no access was granted and he/she made it quite clear that your ex wasn't to expect anything in return if he posts them letters.
It must have been difficult to see the new girlfriend but it sounds as though she isn't the wonderful amazing person you thought she might have been.
The fact that your ex was found guilty in a court of law means that CAFCASS and the judge will know that he is not the perfect father/husband that he will try and play out - that is why I asked.
That is really good to hear that with maintenance you could keep the house - fingers crossed wtih that one.
It sounds as though you are back on track and heading in the right direction. Thank you for keeping us posted.
I imagine the boys are in good form knowing what the judge has said - when do the wishes and feelings report start?
morning today is a hard day as i say goodbye to my dear uncle and it as been a year today since i found out about my ex and he left . wow what a year and alot as happened .
the boys are ok im not sure as to when the wishes and feelings report start . how many interviews do they do ? this one im not sure on how it will plan out all i know that the boys are still strong in what they want and feel and deep down i feel that the little one is going to go along with his brother .
after today i will be tiring to fight for this house and to prove that i can take it over by the end of the year i should be done and he will be out of my life for good x
thinking of you today shaz - be kind to yourself
I'll be thinking of you too. Never easy to say goodbye.
shaz 5, I hope today brings memories of happy times that you shared with your Uncle. Thinking of you.
morning wednesday went as well as it could really and he had a good send off . it was werid as we were in bright colours and jeans but it was what he wanted and to be relaxed. it was hard and i did break down alot but it was also a year on that day that i found out about my ex. and boy what a year it as been and to where i am now . i have had many ups and loads of downs still kept not there yet but i try not to let them get to me as much .
thursday i rang my mortage lenders to see if they could take me on for the house striaght no i got as im on a low wage even though on paper i can prove that i can take on the house so i wa told to either find a new lender or sale ! so i got back on to my solic and she as asked me to see if they will take me on with keeping his name on the mortage too but i pay for it so im waiting to hear from them if they say nope to both then i have got to get it in writing for both then i shall try to find someone to take me on but im not going to go down without a fight , im going to do this for the boys they need this house after what as gone on . as anyone got any advice on this and what i can do ?
well in court the other day he wanted to write letters to the kids and yet there is nothing still off him i would have thought he would have tired to do a letter by now for them as he wants so much to get back with them .
went swimming again friday got back in at 10 it was nice swimming chilled me out . not got much on this week just trying to sort the house out and get taht in writing for teh solic im trying to get all done so i can relax till july for court . i may go for a meal wednesday with the kids as it is my birthday im hoping my dad may pop over that will be nice
hope everyone is well and having a nice weekend x
Hi shaz. Glad Wednesday went okay. Enjoy your weekend too, you deserve a relaxing one after the week you've had.
Hi shaz
Glad that Wednesday went as well as it could.
Re the house, I understand that you want to keep things intact for the boys but think very carefully before you continue to have him on the mortgage as it ties you to him.,..and to be honest he might not agree, when you do the financial hearing there may be some dispute. Have you asked the mortgage people what is the maximum they WOULD lend you?
morning all i have got intouch afew people asking for help and just waiting for them to get back to me regarding the house . my solic as sadi that if i do keep his name on the mortage there is something that they can do their end to stop him going for it not sure what just got to look into other ways also .
well i had a phone text this morning off my ex wishing me happy birthday and he loved me and wants me to have sex ! nice i got to admitt that this is a worry to how his state of mind is now but that is for him not me .
the boys have gotten together and brought me a necklace they clubbed their pocket money and brought it . a little heart lovey it is and we are going for a meal later x
what a lovely day just done the garden now chilling before i go to work
Happy birthday Shaz!!! Glad you had a lovely time with the boys.
Your ex wants you to have sex with him.....or someone else???? Don't take any notice of him, you are moving forward with your life now.
Great that the solicitor is on the case and hope you will get the right info about the house now.
Are you enjoying the sunshine?
Belated Happy Birthday shaz, how was the meal?
I hope you enjoyed your birthday shaz xxx
Happy belated birthday shaz 5, i have been off for a week and just catcing up here. The weather has been amazing and I hope that has been an added bonus for you :)
Amazing isn't it how ex's can remember you and your birthday, but they can't get it together to write a note to their children.
Don't wait for him to write, deal with it as and when he does. Any news on the housing situation?
eveing i have had a letter from my mortage lender saying that they will have me for the house keeping his name on here for 6months and if i prove im ok then they will take him off and take me on on my own,i also have 2 other lenders that will take me on on my own now. now its down to him and the judge i suppose .
the weather as been nice but i have been bitten and i had to go to the docs yesterday as it is not looking nice.
yes i was thinking that anna he can remember my birthday and yet send nothing for the kids . what he sent was sick really
Wow that sounds really hopeful news about the mortgage!
I agree shaz5, very sad.
Great news about the mortgage. Is that another little chink of light brightening the future?
That is good news about the mortgage
morning all i have had a busy week and upsetting week . as i clean at a school i have had to go in and do a deep clean which was harder than i thought but my little one as got really upset and broke down crying alot and he was upset due to me going . he is right he has had me home with him at holidays and he he couldnt take it . i have had to sit them down and explain this is how it has to be now. the first day trying to get in to the car to go to my sisters was a night mare and then i drove away and saw his face crying but what could i do i need to work for food and bills but it was hard for me then i went to work and i hadnt got a clue what was work going to be like and then i dropped my phone into a bucket of water so that is not much good now so im using my old one till the contract ends, but of cause i couldnt ring the boys and it got to me . so when i got them i went for a swim with them and that helped . to be honest he as been upset with it all week and it as got to me then on the night my friend rang me and i told her and she said well tough really they have got to get over it and deal with it i need to be harder on them . i kbnow they have got to get on with it but they have had their lives turned upside too . when i told her he lied to them too and not everyone has the police and courts like we have she didnt like it , but its true we have been through alot and it hasnt been easy at all and i have had to keep strong for them as well as myself .
well i have done my first week cleaning and yes it was hard went for another lovely swim friday night and stayed theere for 3 hrs lol i had a shock friday as my ex texted me ! wanting to know why the phone had been returned back i have not replied and my solic said i best not as he was told to go to family court first but i have got to go and see my solic as he has finally but in his money side of the divorce so not sure what happens next then the kids get done and i know he will play up on that score and he will get nasty !
to top the lot off my uncle as taken a turn for the worse and is in hospital . then i heard my ex brother in law as had a heart attack he is 41 , when he was 37 he had a stroke and that was abad one . i did get upset but he hasnt looked after himself really still smoking heavy too and being a diabetic doesnt help either but i was told through a aunt it did hurt me in away but this is how it is now and i have got to get used to that and then i have been told that my mother in law is saying that i have stopped her seeing the kids and its me not taking them and its me stopping her from talking to them , but i did put a branch out to her saying that i would meet her in town for a coffee so she could see the boys and yet it is her that has not come or meet me or rang me at all but people cant see that when they tell me things but the ones who know me know that i have offered a branch out and this is getting to me again i like to run and start a new life where i cant hear these things but then would i be happy ? i keep telling myself that one day this will end
hope you all are well looks like its going to be a nice day sun is out so washing is going out to dry have a good day