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Neighbour, so far today has phoned three times and I've been in there for an hour before she went out for the day... She left at 10.15, the two phone calls were before then.
A who lives about 12 miles away - the one I went over to one evening when she was poorly. I've done that twice this year... I said we were struggling getting stuff packed. "No one ever helps me with anything" she says. She actually has six incredibly good friend who are there at a drop of a hat - seven if you count me. They help her paint, garden, shift furniture. She's annoyed me really, as she had said she would come here to help.
"What about friend who's pushing it?" she asks. He knows what we're up to as well.
Why is it that no one feels able to offer? Or even if I ask and they say they will, they don't?
Am I worth so little?
Why did she phone? For me to check out stuff she listed on ebay.
I am so totally hacked off. I also feel totally isolated and alone too. I really will be shutting at least two doors shut after this weekend.
I really do feel like s**t tonight. I really, really do.
To be fair, the children are doing well. The dog's missed out though as she's totally confused as to what's happening, and no walk!
xxxxxx
I`m so sorry you feel like that xxx
Whaddyda mean "don't read this"? you know we always want to know what is going on for you, dear sparkling lime. I am not surprised you are fed up, people are SOOOOOOO selfish!
On a practical level, there is not much we can do, but on an emotional level, I have to say that do hope that you really will shut some doors after this incident. I don't know if I have shared this before but I make a review of friends and associates from time to time, in other words to reflect on how things are going between us. I think about what I get out of the relationship. For example I might give a lot of practical support to someone but on the other hand they may make me laugh so much that I can't imagine not being their friend. On the other hand, I do drop people from my life when I see that they drain me. It is all about looking after YOU, you are important sparkling lime, not only for your own sake but also because you are the head of a small army there!
Hope things look a bit brighter this morning. Ignore the neighbour, thank heavens she is going away.
I feel I've reviewed so many friendships that I am now virtually friendless! I lost contact with a lot with the divorce, and two of those I'd have classed as really good friends.
I'm quite looking forward to the drive on Tuesday taking my neighbour to the station, I have to say 
We're doing ok here, really. It won't be ready, but the installers will have to deal with that. I'm sure the housing association, actually, will probably turn up and help if I phone them.
I need to go and get some more boxes. Daughter's in a state! Calmed her down by chucking some of those big ikea bags at her though, and showed her how much of my stuff I got in them 
Youngest with a hospital appointment tomorrow morning, but daughter's here, so that's ok. However, friends would like me to sort out electrical information for the final account. I can't say much really, as I've hardly been there for two weeks - or is it three??!
Fifteen year old has taken stuff to the garage, so I'm going to organise stuff. Neighbour has put her boxes on the floor - not stacked. I know its her garage, but she's going to find my boxes stacked - and hers carefully placed on top! She'll want her things back in straight away, where as we want to be painting.
One of these friend's was going to help me recover the bed settee. I need a plan B there. I'm cross with me when it comes to her, as she's very much a taker, and I know it. She will remind me of the help she gave me when I moved from Rhosniegr, in 2005. And she did help, as did two other friends, one of which has moved away and the other I don't see much now as our children were friends, and she now works full time.
We're getting there though.
Sorry for ranting.
And thank you.
xxxxxxxxxx
Glad things are a little easier this morning.
Time to think about getting some new friends if the old ones aren't all you would want 
. Yes, roll on Tuesday and the neighbour's departure. And phone the housing association on Monday DEFFO!
Hi Sparkling. Sorry, but I'm rushing this post! My advice? Take the phone off the hook. I know how you're feeling, especially when you say there is never anyone to help you out. Friend who is pushing it, could also be doing stuff for you, after everything you have done for him too. Disgraceful! As for the neighbour, well, at least she'll be out of the way soon for a while. Concentrate on you and your lot. Wish I could be there to help you, I really do. Take care. xx
Friend who's pushing it knows what's going on, but to be honest, I wouldn't expect anymore than him not turning up!!
Going to buy more boxes now - have to be plastic because of the garage not being totally waterproof.
All Scouty stuff can go into the Scout hut, which will be out the way!
I got these marvelous trug style things in home bargains yesterday - a bit too floppy to put goldfish in (which is something I'm considering, as we used to have a fish pond in the cottage, and the fish were brilliant!), but they were cheap!
I'll be ok, as in the grand scheme of things, this is nothing compared to what we've been through. Fifteen year old is busy having tantrums today.
I keep thinking of cancelling his DLA, as he does have good runs now. But days like today, I figure he does face challenges. Wish I knew what to do there...
Off to get youngest's school bag from the in-laws now! I could have done with not using this fuel, but it will be nice to pop in.
Sorry. Wittering on again.
Neighbour hasn't phoned yet 
xxx
sparklinglime, glad you are seeming a little more positive today xxx
Please dont cancel your sons DLA, you receive it for good reason, dont feel guilty about that. My friends son is just coming up 16 at the end of the month and he is mithering about his birthday every hour on the hour, where are they going, what are they doing, who is coming etc bless him, my friend escapes here for a brew regulalry xxx
Hope you manage to get the boxes you need and today goes as well as it can for you all xxx
Thank you.
I feel when we're out looking for him for hours on end it can be justified (as I get carer's for him too).
Mind you, he's having a major rage at the mo!
Hahahaha - or should that be agggghhhhhhh
Its bucketing down here. I keep hoping it will stop.
My friend also receives carers and it is well deserved, he has been causing major problems at his school recently so much so that he is now on a part time timetable so only goes Mon, Wed and Fri, biggest problem wth that is they actually gave him exactly what he wanted, more time with mum. He has got into a habit now off calling her from upstairs on his mobile to make him this that or the other, my friend isnt very assertive and was jumping to his every whim which wasnt doing him any favours, anyway we had a chat and now when he calls she tells him to come down if he wants something, if its a drink or a simple sandwich he has to make it, if its something cooked then my friend will make it, he has attempted cooking, once when my freind was here having a brew he "cooked" chocolate in the microwave and set it on fire!!!!!!!
She does sometimes think as you do about taking the extra money when her son is having a good run, but there is always tomorrow xxx
It is also pouring here today and quite cold, not nice at all xxx
xxx
Why can't she leave me alone.
Having something to eat, 22 minute phone call. I don't quite understand how she expects me to get on with things.
I don't actually care that she's anxious. I know her house is clear and packed up and know she's off to her son's. I don't care that she's putting stuff here or there or where ever. I've seen that its all safely packed. I ordered the boxes and the bubble wrap for her.
I know she's ok.
oldest shifting boxes now he's home. Actually looks hopeful.
Awwwh leave the phone off the hook and do not feel guitly for doing that xxx
Glad eldest is home and helping xxx
Just had another ten minute call!
Oldest and fifteen year old has gone to shift the tele.
Phone now off hook!
leave it off the hook, you dont have to listen and you dont have time to today xxx
Phew good job eldest is back, you can get some progress now. Leave the phone off the hook!
Phone still off hook.
Eldest tired - shame. So bloody miserable. This is just so horrible.
Moan, moan moan.
It won't be done. But tough. That's what happens when you bring something forward by three weeks. 
You have done your best xxxx
Good that phone is still off the hook leave it that way xxx
Hi sparklinglime, how are things today, I hope that the weather has picked up? Your posts sounds like you were getting to the end of your tether.
It was great to read that your eldest came in and took some of the pressure off.
Its so annoying when we have to take the phone off the hook, but needs must. If she does catch you unawares today, are you able to say "Sorry I can't talk now, as I am doing all this packing on my own, I will see you tomorrow at ***o'clock?"
I feel very dramatic in saying that yesterday, coming home was horrific.
We were out from the house at 8am, with the cat in her basket and the dog.
Daughter and I were in the Scout hut for most of the day.
We'd agreed on Tuesday for us to be home around 5pm.
Came back at 5.30pm (there were Beavers, so we needed to be out the hut because of the dog. Dog is lovely, but not allowed around scouts) after having chips for tea at the hut.
Sent away until 7pm, so I took them to a playing field up the road (eldest stayed in the little car to keep in touch with the work men). Youngest went to get his friend who lived close by, and luckily they persuaded me let him stay the night. I think the dust could well have killed him.
Came back at 8pm. Stuff everywhere. We'd been told that other than access to the light in the small loo, they wouldn't need to get in there. Well, they emptied it.
They were still hacking walls at at 9.15pm. We eventually got in at 9.30pm. I'd have a panic attack by then, C had run off with the eldest trying to find him, and daughter sitting on the grassy bank opposite the house with the dog.
I was told by the foreman that it was a difficult house as there's so much stuff to work around. I have had three visits and they were aware of how much stuff there is. All the furniture they've asked us to take out has been put in the garage - which is full of our's and neighbour's stuff.
I pointed this out to him. Also, had to empty the place so quickly, with my being busy with stuff the first weekend and eldest being away last weekend.
I told him that if they wanted us out (I was told ideally we should have booked a place to stay - my expense, of course...) accommodation for us and the pets should have been arranged, and leaving us standing outside the house (we were in the car most of the time) was ridiculous.
The men worked like trojans. They've done a fantastic job so far, and we can see how great it will be.
The dust here is awful. You can taste it in your mouth - youngest could never have stayed here. Fifteen year old is incredibly distressed.
Lots more to say, but they're here now...
What a total and utter nightmare. I feel really cross that there has been so little account taken of your youngest's breathing and that there is so much mess. Hope your 15 year old can be reassured (I know you have to do this over and over). Good that the men are working their socks off too, I agree that it would have been better if you had been able just to move out though!
Bet you can't wait till it is over, have you any idea when that will be?
Thinking of you LOADS 
Oh sparklinglime, how distressing for you all. I agree, they really should have put you all up in temporary accommodation for a few days.
How much longer are they supposed to be around for now? Can you ask them if they have any tricks up their sleeve on how to eliminate the dust after they have gone. An air purifier or something?
Thank you.
I've spoken to one of the manager's at the housing association this morning.
I did start off by saying how hard they were working and that on the whole they are great blokes.
I told him I didn't appreciate comments being made about the amount of furniture we have in the house when I've had three visits from the contractors and one from the HA to see.
I also reminded him that I'm disabled, son with special needs and one with asthma.
I said that it was too late for our family now, but consideration should be given to moving people out.
To be fair, he's totally shocked. The agreement is that they finish work at occupied houses at 5pm so families can move in.
They tell you that the work can take up to three weeks - which gives them plenty of scope!! The work will carry on into next week though.
The best piece of equipment I can see for the dust is a Henry! As cute as I think Henry vacs are, the layer of dust around the house is unhooverable. I was going around with a damp cloth as best I could. I'm just incredibly stiff at the mo and in a lot of pain which is stopping me doing more. No air purifier. They had the windows wide open too.
My daugher's being brave and is staying in the house. The're putting covers on sockets today, apparently.
Tomorrow they'll be plasterboarding the ceilings (half the ceilings are down downstairs) and skimming. I optimistically asked if that was it when they said that - no it isn't.
I'm seeing an OT this afternoon about the bathroom. That will be next on the list.
I'm reminding myself that I've been through so much worse. Talking to 15 year old, this is reminding him all too much of being homeless. I'm trying to get him to focus on all the nice new sockets.
Their lampshade has been broken (my fault for not taking them down), which has upset him too - only a cheap one. I've said that when we paint the room, he can choose a shade to match the paint.
Funny not seeing youngest this morning.
I feel bereft, which is so, so stupid when we're realistically talking about such a short period of time.
The manager was going to see if he can come up with any ideas, but I doubt he will.
I'll be writing to our assembly member too. It's a Welsh Assembly initiative, but they need to up the funding so people can have accommodation costs - and kennel/cattery fees coverd.
I've spent a fortune on plastic boxes because of the garage not being waterproof. So I told the manager this as well. £50 decorating voucher is not going to go far when the whole house needs doing...
Good for you, sparkling lime, ruffle some feathers. You would make such a good local councillor!
It is not stupid to feel bereft, when you think of what your home represents to you: finally some security after all the upheaval and worry you experienced, anything that threatens that (even though you know it is temporary) is bound to be upsetting.
*HUGS*
My dyson blocked on Tuesday morning, so I went out and used vouchers and money to buy a new vacuum. I got a vax. The thing hasn't worked for more than five minutes without blocking.
This evening I needed to hoover the downstairs loo, as there's about an inch of dust in there. Stupid thing blocked.
Took the bin thing off and dropped it, and its BROKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I haven't got a working hoover when I flaming well need one, and no money to buy another. I've sent a stinky email off to Vax as their helpline is closed.
It's as if there's one crisis (my friends) after another. Just when you think you can breath, you can't. Well, not without inhaling a tonne of dust.
I'm weeping like I haven't for months. And the workmen have moved - and I bet thrown out - my wire coat hanger, that I've opened up to clear any blocks in the dyson.
It won't work anyway now with this bit that's broken. There was also a broken bit inside, which I'm wondering could have caused problems.
I'm incredibly disappointed as I've had a vax wet and dry hoover for yonks, and it was superb.
Sorry for yet another rant.
xx
Awwwh sparklinglime, you are having such a horrible time, i`m so sorry, how is your son doing, I know from you previous posts he is realy unsettled, do hope you are all ok tonight xxx
My son was calmer, thank you. He was able to come straight into the house after school though, which I think helped.
In-laws for tea tonight.
I don't think sleeping on teh chair does me much good! Hopefully, they'll be able to plaster my room today and then clear the bed and change the bedding... or can I. I usually wash, dry and put it back on the bed. No washing machine... Dusty pillows don't appeal, although I do have a Beyblades quilt cover chucked over them.
I just don't understand how you can buy a vac and it doesn't do what it says on the box. Such a waste of vouchers too.
Youngest decided to squeeze into a space on the settee in the living room too. He wanted to be with me! I think he got used to sharing a room when we went away!
Daughter has another exam this morning. She sat in the garden with the dog yesterday revising (don't think dog revised, just daughter). It was a lovely day.
Unbelieveable the chaos you describe and I do so hope you will have the Vax replaced. Hope youngest's breathing is Ok and that you get your room plastered today and can at least sleep in a bed. They soooo needed to pay for alternative accommodation for people, I bet they did not realise just how bad it would be, I am glad you complained, you know I am a professional Victor Meldrew.
Thinking of you as you go through today
Thank you.
I'm in my friend's house. I've had a banana - and a pain killer! Awful pain with all thr running about!
Mother-in-law having a go at me as we could have gone there for tea. However, we had chips on Wednesday (day one) naiivly thinking it wouldn't be too bad!
Yesterday we had scouts anyway, so couldn't have fitted in tea too.
We are there tonight though - although she only cooks for the children! I've told her I'm dropping the children there, and then coming home though, as I'll need to lock up after them.
I've had a text from daughter, and her exam hasn't gone brilliantly.
Spoke to one of the men this morning - can't quite decide what his role is, but he does feel really bad for us, and seems quite sincere, unlike the chap the other night who I could have knocked his block off... They're going to make sure they run an extension lead for the washing machine so I can catch up with that.
Everything you touch though, you feel dirty. I have an untidy house anyway - well, a full house, with my lots things everywhere - but underneath its reasonably clean. I cleaned the bathroom on Wednesday night, and by yesterday you wouldn't have known I'd touched it. Even the loo roll has a permanant covering of dust.
Youngest was ok this morning, and I'm making sure he's taking a double dose of preventor.
It's so cold today - even here where its usually warm!
I'm taking stuff off the bed tonight though, as there'll be no mad rush to clear the floor again tomorrow morning. There will be someone coming in, but to re-tile the kitchen I think...
At least you have one of the blokes on your side, and a relief to get some washing done. Of course you have a full house, there are five of you, you are hardly going to live in a minimalist environment, and it must be heartbreaking to see the mess. Every day more is another day less, that is all I can say. Sorry about your daughter's exam, try not to do too much now, just let the children be fed and pace yourself this evening.
There's a problem with the hot water cylinder. The plumber was meant to be here yesterday morning to sort it.
As I left for in-laws, I asked if this was done now, as we'd been without hot water since Wednesday. 'No' he said, but don't forget you have your shower.
Bought a hoover in Asda for £31 yesterday. Hoovered all upstairs (with so much sitting down between hoovers). Got daugher to clear the bath and then I scrubbed that. Turned around to switch on the shower - no switch.
Not impressed - at all. Got my son to take a load of photos last night again, as I don't think I'm finished with the housing association yet.
I'm letting the children sleep until 9am, as I've been told the workmen are arriving at 9.30. I think the chap could see how wrecked we looked yesterday.
We're all chanting "it will be fantastic when its finished", but I think the hot water thing and not even able to wash my hair isn't good today.
If you have a small family, you can sort of impose on people, but not when you're a big family.
Not long now, I hope.
I'll get a child to bring the hoover down later and make a start on the kitchen. Yesterday I relented and after seven years I bought a deep fat fryer, a bag of potatoes and a load of bread rolls. We had a chip fest. My oldest and daughter made them, and they were thoroughly enjoyed. No idea where to put this fryer though, as we have such little work space. What better time to sort that out when the house is, um, empty?!
I have another headache today, although I am feeling quite calm about it all. Perhaps because there's no school to sort.
My mother-in-law phoned me back yesterday when I told her I'd be dropping the children off, coming back here, and go back to pick them up. She made me ommlette chips and peas. It was an absolutely gorgeous tea, and first proper meal possibly since last week.
I should be a stick insect really
Hooray you had a nice meal!
What a fantastic idea about the photos. I would never have thought of that, however if you get to written complaint stage then, as you know, I am good at THAT, so give me a shout if you want any help
The pressure is off a bit as no school, I agree
Could you wash your hair at MIL's?
I will give you a yell, thank you. I'll copy and paste it here before I send it, if that's ok.
I've spoken to the nice electrician as the stroppy supervisor was about. I was actually insistant! They'll put a pull switch in for the shower around lunchtime, so eldest can have a shower before work.
They're plaster boarding the ceilings now. They cut 2' strip out the length of the hallway, kitchen and living room. They reckon they're not painting. I've told them that I reckon they should...
The walls I'm not bothered about, as they did, on the whole, need freshening up anyway.
Been kicked out of the living room now while they plaster board that ceiling. They've done an ok job in here, but it will look awfu. I wonder how much artexing would cost.
Oh it does not bear thinking about....do you have any decorat-y friends, amonsgt the Scouty people I mean? Or are there any schemes locally that provide low cost decorating? This?
Yes do let me know about the letter.
HOORAY re shower!
I don't think I do have any decorat-y friends - gardeners, but not decorators. I'll ask my builder friend though.
Thank you for the link - that group painted the outside of the scout hut for us. Some were great characters! I really enjoyed meeting them. They don't do private jobs though, sadly. I'll ask the girl I do cubs with. She works in the council. They do have a handyman with a maximum £30 charge who will do some jobs, so I'll hopefully be able to arrange for him to come and put some curtain poles I've had given to me up.
I just don't know whether to apply for a budget loan. I read through and can't see redecorating as something they do. I'll need to replace the carpets on the stairs and landing too. Ruined when son lifted it up (again, the contractors will not take responsibility for anything).
I just don't see how they can rip a quarter of a ceiling down and refuse to paint... (ok, not ripped, cut out...).
Plaster over all sorts...
Hi sparklinglime, I dont know if you have a homebase near to where you are? They have a realy good offer on dulux emulsion, buy one 5ltr and get the 2nd for half price, that means you get 10 litres of vinyl silk or matt for £20.97p which is good xxx
Thank you.
There is one in Holyhead, and as I need to take eldest to work that way tomorrow I'll call in.
Electricians just gone. The shower has been reconnected.
The buy one get one half price is on the whites, I got 10ltrs of vinyl silk today, they also have a buy 2 get the 3rd free on dulux colours which again is a really good offer xxx
You always know the bargains, tiredmum!
Ha ha Louise, its one of my better talents lol xxx
Hi sparklinglime, how are you doing?
Hope tomorrow goes well for you all, I`ll be thinking of you xxx
Thank you.
We've been clearing the work tops and packing up extension leads ready for tomorrow.
It can't be worse... I'm sure it can't be worse!
Didn't get to look at paint today as I needed to get back to sort out washing machine. It decided not to work last night - the water had been turned off! Getting another load done now.
Everyone showered.
Neighbour has phoned me twice today! She's coming home on Thursday - so much for two weeks respite. We (me and children) popped in to see her house, and its coming along really nicely. She hasn't had the ceiling cut up as we had.
I must look to see if budget loan will cover redecorating and floor covering. I just don't have the money to do it, but it needs to be done.
Someone suggested the flexible paint for ceilings. They're a bit cracked already, and with the not brilliant skimming they've done, this stuff might work a miracle!
If I can get the essay out the way this week, then we can have a good painting and sorting session over half-term.
Thank you for thinking of me.
xxxx
Oh mi sparklinglime! 
What a weekend, I really feel for you and yours. It sounds like you are all just battling on, waiting for the end to be in sight.
If they have plastered the walls, won't you have to wait a while before they can be painted?
I can't believe you are having to do an essay on top of all this, you really deserve a medal!
Hey maybe you could all move into your neighbours with her, while the dust settles and painting gets done, considering all the things you have done for her!!
Hi sparkling, I have just had a though, I wonder if you could apply from some help via the Family Fund? I think you have had support from them before and wonder if they could help again?
Hi Sparklinglime, do hope you are all ok, have you heard of a paint called smooth over? It is very good for covering cracks and blemishes, maybe that would help with your ceiling xxx
I`m still thinking of you xxx
I think that's the one tiredmum that I'll need.
With regards to the family fund Anna, we can't apply to that again until October.
I can manage with things pretty well, so long as there are no extras. Can't quite work out yet how to cope with this.
No one been in today yet - well, other than calling in and leaving the front door open. Dust everywhere again, even after all the damp wiping I've been doing.
Everything feels so dirty.
I have been told they'll be fixing the hot water today... scratch that, it will be tomorrow now. I've not been able to have a proper wash since all this started.
Now they're looking at the plastering, and have decided it's a rubbish job and they want to sand it down. More dust.
Sorry to say, but I'm crying again.
Pathetic really, as at the end of the day its nothing life threatening.
Just not coping too well, really.
Awwwh sparklinglime, I`m not surprised you are crying,as good as the work was when it was done here we still found it difficult, as you say everything is so dusty, its not pathetic at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxx
I do hope things start to seem brighter for you in the next couple of days, when will or should they be done at your house xxx
Awwwh sparklinglime, NO NO NO you are worth a fortune, its others that are selfish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its times like this that you really do find out who your friends are. I`m really sorry that no one is there for you when you need them, I so wish I lived nearer I really would come and help you xxx