This is my story. My post-divorce relationship just ended. While I have to take that on the chin, I don't understand why I have no one to turn to. When married, I put all of my effort into the family so when it ended I had no one. Then I found myself, eventually, in a serious relationship and only had time for her, work and the children (50% residency), so when it ended I had no one. Not close to my family and the only friend I talk to lives miles away. I love my girls with every inch of my broken heart but there's only so far a Spongebob conversation can go. I don't seem to have time for a relationship and to maintain friendships. Now I'm feeling very isolated, so much so I have to seek solace on this forum, as I don't know what to do with myself. Am I just handling things wrong or is my situation normal? I live in Cambridgeshire.
Thank you, I just sent an email asking to leave. One minute I think this is a good idea the next I feel pants about not being able to cope better. How sad is it to seek help from people I don't even know?
I know that feeling well, it is as you said in your post on another thread becoming a very sad world where we are very insular and mistrustful.
I do hope you find the answers you are looking for and that you will find happiness xxx
Hi MoonMonkey
You are normal! and as for chatting to people you don't know, well if there was a super-duper single parent support service on your doorstep then I guess you would visit it but the Internet is a way of link us all up together.
Hope you stay with us, there is a lot of friendly support here 
Oh yes, you are normal.
I think eventually I've been able to reach that conclusion and accept that for now, this is how my life is going to be.
For now...
I have found that the topic of divorce either worried my brother and sister so much (they're a fair bit older than me, and I reckon they thought I'd turn up on their door step with my children or demand money off them) that I rarely hear from them. Friends while happy to listen for a while seem to get bored.
I did have one incredibly dear friend.
I discovered that forum life could be good company. This one is brilliant as everyone does understand.
And of course, you have that reassurance of being as anonomous as you choose to be...
On a personal level, I'd be lost without this site.
Even in the company of friends, at work sometimes and in social situations I feel like I don't belong, almost like I have no right to be there. I'm very socially confident but feel like I am alone and only the presence of my ex can make that feeling go away. For me, life is oh so much better when I am in a relationship. Should I have spent more time maintaining friendships at the cost of my relationship with my girlfriend? And if so, how do I do that? I can't seem to get my head around the difference between friendship and a relationship. Call me sceptical but when a man and a woman are just friends, there's always one or the other that wants more. My ickle brain can't cope with complicated scenarios so it always has to be better to keep it simple and not have friends.
Hi MoonMonkey, just wanted to welcome you along to One Space.
Thank you, it's a shame people weren't as friendly and understanding in the real world! Kind of hoped there would be some real time chat facility on here.
Sadly there isn't MoonMonkey, but someone will always answer your posts
How are you feeling today? Do you have anything planned? Even if it's just a walk, that does sometimes help a bit.
Hi moonmonkey, glad you are still here
I think men and women can be friends BUT as you say if there is an attraction for one person then it can be difficult.
I have both male and female friends and it is fine, have had problems in the past though, I would definitely say not to become exclusive to anyone, didnt always think that way but we live and learn
I've always been exclusive and while I think it's perhaps a mistake, I'm not sure how to be anything else. Perhaps it's a reflection of my own insecurity that I don't want the person I'm with to share herself. I decided last week to allow myself to become isolated. I figured if I embraced it rather than ran from it I might 'find myself' a little sooner - isn't that what people say? 50% residency of my girls, work and recently moving house means I am very busy but I think it's sad that I have so much to give, I'm a really nice man, I've never hurt anyone, I'm fit, don't drink, well-dressed and smart, relatively good looking, I have good standards and values, I work hard and I love to laugh but if something happened to me at home the only time anyone would ever know is if I failed to pick the girls up next week. I'm not feeling sorry for myself -it's just a statement of fact. If I go into something new, I'd like to know what I should be doing to avoid ending up in this dire and lonely place if things go wrong? I'm trying to be patient, I'm looking after myself, I'm not making any rash decisions, but I'm lonely and have nothing of substance to look forward to. I have a holiday coming up with the girls and I'm not even looking forward to that. As you single Mothers will know, going away is much like staying at home only busier and you don't know where everything is!!!
Your post has made me smile
From your description of yourself you are the kind of man most ladies would love to meet, BUT 90% never do, well not strictly true, if we meet mr nice we dont appreciate him, certainly true for me on occasions, possibly to do with as you are saying insecurities, I think we all have those to a degree, mine was always feeling unworthy of a nice man therefor ealways allowed a bad one into my life, not anymore though.
I do hope you have a good holiday, are you going somewhere nice? I havent had a holiday since my eldest was 18 months old, he will be 25 in November!!!!!!!
Being lonely is possibly the hardest thing to deal with, I have been lucky as I have always had my children, but have definitely missed the company of adults at times over the years.
Can you try making some friends first, socailising a little and see where that leads?
Yes I agree that making friends is a good first step, as the more peopele you know the more invites you get and you encounter everyone else THEY know as well. It does not happen overnight, it can be a bit of a long-term campaign.
Holidays can be rather UNrestful with children, but think of it as quality time with them rather than a "break" for you?
I understand that I need to socialise more but therein lies one of the problems. I do lots of man things but I don't drink and don't particularly like any of the single men I know. I prefer the company of women but when developing friendships it gets complicated (in my mind anyway). I have no desire to get drunk or go clubbing to chat up women, got the shirt etc, and would prefer a day shopping and My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding on TV in the evening. Love the theatre, cinema, art galleries, museums, exhibitions but I either take the girls or go alone. As it stands now, my life is full but empty! I guess you are right Louise, I have to look at this in the long term, just don't know where to start! Tiredmum, has it really been that long since you had a holiday? Why?
Again you make me smile, I can really understand everything you are saying, I as a lady would prefer the company of men(thats reads very bad) I do find it difficult sometimes to relate to other ladies is a better way of putting it, I also dont drink, have been to one night club in my life and that was about 5 years ago, never again ha ha, the theatre yes can relate to that, I used to love to go years ago, museums, exhibitions, anything historical and shopping well I think most of us ladies love that
I guess you have to decide if you can find a balance between the need to find something that fills the gaps and the lonely side of life and the other side of life which is full with your children and your work xxx
You ask if it has really been that long since I went on a holiday, yes really it has been that long, you ask why, gosh how long have you got ha ha, simple answer I had the "treat me like crap" tattoo emblazened on my forehead for years, happy to say its now been removed and I have grown my fringe!!!!!!!!!!
I have 5 children altogether 24,20,18,16 and 10, boy at each end and 3 girls in the middle, have had no family support for over 17 years now, my childrens fathers have all been a waste of time, only my eldest son has ever spent the night with his father so life has been very difficult at times and like you I dont feel sorry for myself, just tell it like it is.
I have come to a point where I now like myself and have found some peace in doing that, my children are all great children with good manners and values something that gives me a lot to be thankful for.
Do hope you might find the same one day soon xxx
This time you made me laugh. I'm still reeling a little from the things that were said during the failure of my last relationship and being totally open and honest about it, I made some mistakes and admitting that is a bitter pill to swallow! I find it almost shocking that at the age of 47 I'm still learning about myself and relationships. So I guess I'm not liking myself much at the moment. By comparison to your life, I have it easy and I am sorry that you've been treated so badly in the past.
Thank you for being so kind and engaging me in conversation, it's been very helpful x
One of my good points is that I can usually make anyone feel better ha ha
I am glad I have made you laugh, laughter is a wonderful medicine. We ALL make mistakes you know, life is a learning curve from the day we are born to the day we die.
Relationships are the hardest thing dont you think? It is good though that you can acknowlegde your mistakes, always a really good start that. I have made some humongous mistakes in my time, been homeless, been in a refuge, the list is very long, however ALL of these things have made me who I am today and for that reason I dont regret a second of it, the only regret and real sadness I have is for the times it has hurt my children.
I am now passionate about helping other people so do a lot of charity things here, I truly believe I was born to help people, it is what I am good at and what I absolutely love to do.
I am really pleased that you havent felt the urge to leave one space(you did mention that the other night) sometimes you know the kindness of a stranger can be a very powerful thing xxx
Hi Moonmonkey
I can definitely agree with the others in saying you are completely normal! We all are :)
I have two wonderful children but there are times when I need more than their company. I work full-time in a job where decent conversation isn't exactly 'on tap', my friends are either in relationships, or my single friends - with and without children (and I have noticed this a lot in the past few months) are more than ready to keep in touch and arrange to do things with the children, until they meet someone and then boof - they are not in touch in any more.
I know exactly what you mean about not feeling that you belong any where. I feel that too.
Some evenings I just can't wait for the children to be tucked up in bed and asleep as I need a bit of 'me time' but then when that comes I hate it.. the silence is absolutely deafening! I found this site. I have divulged information to people I don't know but you know what? It has helped a lot... and I feel I am forging friendships albeit online ones with people in similar situations.
Glad you have stuck to the site. Hope you enjoy your holiday. I took my two away on my own two years ago. It was the biggest thing I have done in my life. I booked a holiday abroad a week before we went (so I didn't have time to think about it) and when I got to the airport my stomach lurched! My children only had me to depend on in another country... what if I were ill? What if they were? How would I feel being on my own with just the children? I have to say it was one of the best experiences of my life. We grew so much together and really needed that week (I know that probably sounds corny) but it is true. I can't say I relish the thought of going on holidays with them on my own forever but it was a fantastic time .... a year after their dad left.
Chat to you soon
:)
Blimey that was brave mamaoftwo, I took my boys for four days in a caravan shortly after my separation and thought I was WonderWoman! 
well done, you.
And so we come to the question....would you actually LIKE a holiday, tiredmum or actually do you prefer the days out scenario now?
MoonMonkey the more you tell us, the normal you obviously are....although I totally appreciate your point about women getting the wrong message if you want to be friends and share time together.Sometimes it seems that no matter how honest we are, someone will misconstrue our motives. I agree that a great deal of the social life on this country is pub-based. As a first step, it might be worth thinking about an evening class? preferably in something light hearted rather than GCSE Maths, lol, or a group, where you might meet people who share your interests. Does your local theatre have a "Friends" group? Is there a "film club" where you view and discuss cult movies? A creative writing course? How about community things like the Young Lions and Rotaract? Ask at your local library and look in the paper for details of what is on. The long term thing again....even if you join a group and (say) it is full of older people then fine, still make some friends, they will probably have sons and daughters
Anyway it is good to have you with us.
Thanks Louise, I know your advice is good but I'm just not sure what activities to pursue. I like reading but am selective about what I read so book clubs are no good, ilike riding my motorbike but ridevalone so I'm not drawn into macho speeding and risk taking, I like DIY but no one wants or has time to help and I love shopping but I wouldn't be able to make friends doing that. I draw and thought it would be a good idea to do an art course so called EVERY local college and guess what? No courses on the nights I don't have the girls. So I have tried and I will keep trying. You are right, we have very much a pub culture in the UK and it would be much better if it was a cafe culture.
Rather oddly, I don't really have any issues, other than lonelines, taking the girls on holiday but their Mum does. It's always nice to get away and this year we've got a house close to a beach and I'm going to park the car and leave it, no phone, no laptop, no company! I was due to go with my ex and her children so I have mixed emotions about it at the moment. I would love to take the girls abroad but the cost is rediculous. I'm by no means poor but I don't have money to waste either. I did plan a trip to Spain with my girls and a female friend during one of the many splits with my ex but when we made up I decided not to go and it spoilt the friendship (I suspect she wanted more).
Writing on here has helped and I have a little more clarity of thought. I would like to thank everyone for your stories and advice, itvreally has helped just to write things down.
So Louise, tiredmum, mamaoftwo, hazeleyes and sparklinglime you all seem to understand me, how do I turn you virtual friends into real ones?
I took my four to Dublin on the ferry! Terrifying... A five year old and an 8 year old with special needs to keep track of.
I have been since, but they were older...!
I don't think you can actually see the point where virtual does become real. I just feel that when you know someone is there, and going to answer, listen and has an idea of what you're going through, I think they become as good a friend as you could want...
Not quite the same as having someone to share a glass of sparkling lime with, but still they are there.
I'm not very good with explaining things, which is why I never do well with essays!!
Hi moonmonkey, really glad you have found writing things down helpful.
Your holiday sounds good,Lousie you asked if I would LIKE a holiday, YES I would love to go back to either Malta or Austria/Switzerland, Malta is full of Churches all very old, had a lovely time looking at those, I also have Salzburg on my bucket list, I got within a few miles of it, could look down and see it all but never got to visit so its definitely something I would love to do, if it was a holiday here then it would be Wales I think.
What motorbike do you ride moonmonkey? I used to love riding pillion and went to many a rally ha ha, my eldest son is about to get his 1st bike a 600 bandit, I am not overly happy that he is getting one, things have changed these days and no one looks out for bikes but he is determined to have it, picking it up next weekend I think.
I`m not sure we can evolve from virtual to real freinds via here, I mean generally not just me, not because people wouldnt want to but the way the site works xxx
Hi everyone
I'm taking a well-earned rest by coming online for a bit. We decided that rather than 'play kitchens' this morning to actually do it for real... and as usual ended up cooking upteem things in one go. So while my kitchen is currently resembling a bomb-site I am typing safe in the knowledge that we've had a good time making it look like that. We have made cupcakes (just waiting for them to cool to ice them), rhubarb and orange trifle (not a great fan of rhubarb but have loads growing in the garden), and jam and chocolate crouissants (not mixed together lol).....
Louise I loved the holiday - didn't think I would be able to do it - but I did.. I didn't feel lonely at all as fortunately the place we booked (Mallorca) was like a holiday village with people coming and going all the time. There were 8 pools!!! However that sort of place isn't what I would neccesarily chose as a holiday destination - I had left it so late it was between there and Benidorm!! Strangely I don't think I could take them away this year without feeling lonely though. We had an action packed holiday including helping to rescue a drowing lady (it was like baywatch in action when we got her out of the sea) life guards rushing,coming on jetski's ...
Gosh - I think the food colouring and chocolate from cooking has got to me - I am typing like there is no tomorrow and totally digressing from the topic of this post (sorry Moonmonkey).
I have decided to do an evening course through our local 'Spark' for two reasons - one I need something new to do and hopefully it would be a little aside from my main job (I will learn to make silver jewellery) and two, I am hoping to mix and meet new people. However I have been told that the course won't start till September but I have my name down anyway.
Wow Sparklinglime - taking four away - now that is brave :). Tiredmum your holiday destinations sound great. Do you think you would get to go on a holiday soon?
I don't know how to turn virtual friends into real ones but it would be nice.
Right.... kitchen calling to be cleaned. xxxx
Hi mamaoftwo, sounds like my kitchen ha ha
I doubt that a holiday is on the cards anytime soon unfortunately, but my friend and I are at the moment trying to establish a not for profit social enterprise so that has to come 1st. I have put some info about it in the local section on here, just want to help anyone off here if possible.
Hope you are having a lovely day xxx
Well done on the cookery, mamaoftwo. I have made some rock buns today but all my own so not much mess. The jewellery project sounds fascinating! Good luck with that. I have just had a look at your uniforms section, tired mum
Hope you are having a good day, MoonMonkey
Just when I thought I was making progress my ex got in touch - set me back a bit! What is it with women wanting to end a relationship then keep in touch?
I know... Loads of hugs.
It used to finish off the day when The Git would contact me.
Hope you're ok
Oh dear moonmonkey, hope you are ok.
We are all here if you need to offload xxx
Thanks girls. I still love her and to be honest I am heartbroken. She doesn't seem to understand I need no contact to get over this. She ended it and called me twice today to say she was coming over to talk then again to say she wasn't!!! WTF? This hurts more than the end of my marriage did and I just can't understand why she has to be in touch. I went no contact but she seems to have ignored my wishes. I think she wants me to work through things with her but I don't think that works, it will be like me convincing her to change her mind and she has to have free will to do that. Every 6-weeks or so a little argument would get out of hand then she'd go off for "head space" to contemplate our future and I'd be sitting around with my thumb up my a*** waiting like a puppy for her to make her mind up. Over 20-months or so we were together, it must have happened 10-times. My interpretation of this is that she was never really committed in the first place, hence the need to constantly question everything. What do you all think? What should I do now?
Oh dear - it's a bit of a rollercoaster isn't it moonmonkey. Just when you think you know where you are a bit they get in touch!!
Good luck with the enterprise, Tiredmum. I will have a look at the local section on here.
Well the kitchen is done. It was in a bad enough way before then my son made my little girl jump just as she was putting sprinkles on her cake and she ended up dropping them all over the floor! Arrrggghh!!
Let us know how things are moonmonkey.
Moonmonkey, playing with peoples emotions really isnt on is it. Can you change your mobile number if thats how your ex gets in touch?
If you want my honest opinion, there are some ladies and indeed some men who cant/dont want to commit but they also want to know that the other person is still there just in case, it really isnt nice to be on the receiving end of such behaviour and you as we all do deserve to be treated better.
You say that in 20 months together your ex had to go off to have head space, was that in part due to spending too much time together? Does your ex have an active social life that she wanted to maintain, I know from previous posts that you like to be exclusive and also would want that from your partner.
I think you know the answer to your question of what you should do now dont you? If your relationship is built on having to question it all the time, is it really as good as you might have perceived it to be, is it that you crave the need to be in a relationship that you are ignoring or overlooking the flaws? I think a relationship should be built on complete honesty and trust and if you have to question either then its time to call it a day. Put another way could you be happy knowing that your ex is back in your lofe because you have influenced her to be there and could you settle, relax and enjoy the relationship or would itawlays be in the back of your mind wondering when the next head space would be needed?
I think this upcoming holiday will do you the world of good, no mobile, no laptop etc = no contact, maybe then you can have a little breathing space for you.
Do hope you are ok xxx
Moonmonkey - Tiredmum has hit it right on the spot! Playing with others emotions is just not on. You shouldn't allow her to do this, no matter how much you still love her. I understand how you are feeling, believe me I do, however in the long-run what do you really think would happen? You could be on here in a few months time saying the same thing...
As Tiredmum says some people want to know that the other person is there just in case, and it sounds to me that maybe your ex is doing that with you. You have to be fair on yourself and you know the answer - you need no contact, otherwise you it will take forever to get over her and move on... and then while your head is still spinning and you are stuck in the same place waiting for her to make up her mind then maybe a month, three months, five months down the line, she could have moved on completely, and believe me it is harder to get over someone that far down the line, when you cling to every bit of hope there is after it is over, and it still doesn't work, than it is to cut all ties now.
We spoke on the phone and she let slip that she'd exchanged mobile numbers with her ex. 3-times in the past I'd caught her out lying about contact with him. I don't think anything was going on but it's just not right she didn't tell me. So there were trust issues and the head space was from constantly questioning our relationship. She lived 55-miles away so it's not like I was in her face. I suppose I hoped we might be able to sort things and in a way, it's a good thing I found out because now it will be easier to turn my back on her. Do you think it was OK for her not to tell me about things like that? I expect total loyalty but is that too much to expect?
I think my head is going to explode!
Hi Moonmonkey
Just a quick reply as I must go to bed now as have an early start tomorrow.
Did she say why she exchanged numbers with her ex?
I think total loyality and honesty are a must in any relationship otherwise, what is the point? You will always be questioning and wondering about things, and that isn't a good formula for a relationship.
Hope you are ok.
xx
Yes she exchanged numbers with him. I hung up. Why can't people just be honest and have some damn standards?
Moonmonkey, I dont think that is right, as you say if it is something you have known about lets say that she and her ex had parted on good terms and they had always been in touch then there is nothing there to worry about but the not telling you is in my book unforgivable.
I am sorry that you are hurting but it is better to know now whilst you are not together, how awful would it have been to have got back togather and then found this out, what I dont understand is why your ex has been so cruel as to tell you?
Sending you a hug xxx
Thanks for the hug. She let it slip accidentally. I know there's no way back now. I feel s***. I don't think it's right to keep in touch with any ex unless you have to i.e. the other parent of your children. Thing was, I know she loved him and it broke her heart when it ended. Maybe that's why I was always kept at arms length? I don't think she ever got over it. I have values that I expect my partner to have; I never lie, I would never cheat and I always do what I say I'm going to do. Not too demanding is it? I really don't know why things keep going wrong.
I`m sorry you feel so bad, was she on the rebound when you met? You might not like what I am going to say but I will say it anyway, there is such as thing as being too nice you know, always understanding, making excuses for the other persons bad treatment of you when in reality there is absolutely no excuse whatsoever.
You really so seem like you are one of lifes good guys and deserve to be treated the same way by any partner.
No it isnt too demanding to ask for an honest relationship, they are the only ones that work anyway xxx
Maybe you just havent met the right person yet?
Hello Moonmonkey
Sorry to hear of your troubles with your ex they are trying time for sure.
Some people just want there cake and eat it and want you on the end of a lead as they carnt make there minds up what they want, dont want you or commit but want you as a safty net incase things go wrong cause they know or think you hold a touch for them.
I had that problem gave my ex all but still was not enough she cheated i found out throw her out go and do what you gotta do but i cut here off was hard at first but in time you learn to look out for yourself and better things come along believe me, fight for everything you value i did and i beleive that keeping my children with me was the most importent thing i ever did.
Stuart
Thanks Stuart, I actually used those very words "cake and eat it" on the phone to her. Tiredmum yes I think she was on thevrebound when I met her but I thought I'd give itv a go all the same. It's not the contact that bothers me, it's the lies about it. Stuart i hope you are rightcand something better comes along. At the moment I can't even see the TV through the tears. I sent her an email and it wasn't nice, see tiredmum, I'm learning not to be good already.
xx (for tiredmum)
Virtual man hug for Stuart
Awwwh moonmonkey, it is hard though isnt it if its not in your nature to be anything but nice, having a good cry is actually very theraputic as is punching a pillow.
I know its the lies that would get to me, I have always told my children tell me the truth no matter what or how bad it is and I will deal with it, lie to me and then we will have a big problem, thankfully it seems to have worked, my teen girls are very open and honest with me to the point of me cringing at times at some of the things they do tell me, but hey I cant have it both ways.
Just keep thinking of all your good points and that really in all honesty your ex didnt deserve you, look in the mirror and say I am a good guy and I deserve a nice lady!!!!!!!!!!!!
xxx, have to say your virtual man hug for Stuart made me smile
LOL thanks moonmonky as men we find it hard to show are feelings and emotions but thanks.
You have to stick to your morles and values and unfortunatly not everyone is as honest as you would like them to be (believe me i know that from experience my ex is still doing it now living a new relationship on lies but say nothing as rather him than me ). Some people just can not live on there own so need to be with someone.
In time you will rebuild your confidence and self esteem and get out there and do thing for you that make you happy.
Stuart
Man hug right back at ya lol
I think this male bonding is really good xxx
Stuart is right, but have to say all us ladies are not like that, it does seem that all the nice guys get the bitches in this world and nice ladies get the bad guys or thats how it feels at times.
Tiredmum you aint wrong there thats the way it seams to be. Just look at all the women on here that have had bad exs and how there exs have treated them it makes me so angry that they call themselves men.
My experience has had massive effect on me was so nice to have me time to just think about me as i have always been in a relationship than i meet my present g/f and she is amazing so different to every women i have met so far.
Moonmonkey do hope you are ok, please try and get some sleep tonight, not easy that either is it when you cant switch your brain off from whirling everything around.
I am going to log off soonish, have a busy day ahead tomorrow but will be around at various points through the day and evening as will others.
I`ll be thinking of you xxx
Stuart is does seem that way to me, not sure why it happens like that, maybe we jump in too soon at too young an age, certainly that was true for me to a degree although have to say I kept making the same mistake over and over. I believe that to a certain extent life is mapped out and possibly there is little we can do to change what happens.
What is the male perspective on this from either of you, I actually find it fascinating to read a male point of view xxx
I believe in destiny, but also that you create your own opportunities in life. For example, if you're meant to be wealthy you will be but you can't win the lottery without buying a ticket! I also think that there is something to learn from everything, not sure what I'm learning from today but maybe it will reveal itself in time. Can't sleep, just watching Queen, saw them at Mikton Keynes in '82, simple, single, happy days!
Thanks for all the support. Working a long day tomorrow, catch you all in the evening, love to all xxx/man hug.
Think I'm gonna be a bad boy.
By the way tiredmum, I ride a Suzuki TL 1000 R
Well my point of view is people work you out they have everything then when your hooked on them and love them they change they have everything and give up on the relationship take it for granted, after many years they get bored maybe forget the inportant things you got together for and instead of talking it through find comfort in the arms of someone else, to make them happy.the lies start they get what they want by lieing then contiune to do it as it becomes there way of life.
For me it was my ex knew i loved her and cheated too many times and my own fault to talk it through to safe the marrige but this time i had had enough and was time to cut the person out of my life she was like a cancer evil selfish to the core.
Hi moonmonkey, welcome to one space.
You are normal!!!!!!!!!!!, I think we all do more or less as you have described, is it right to put all your effort into everything else to the detriment of ourselves, probably it isnt but for those of us that do as you have done, we cant be different as thats who we are if that makes sense.
Please do stay with one space, its a great site where you will recieve lots of advice and support