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Just a tip here: in any dealings with CAFCASS, concentrate on how any contact would affect the child, not YOU. That is not to say you are not important, you are!!! but CAFCASS's job is to see how contact would affect THE CHILD. Therefore concentrate on things like threats of abduction, an unsafe environment for the child, not on what he has done to you, however awful that is and was.
well i never met any of his family no wonder as he ad double life, and residency order as gon thru at last, in my favour, bit more security really,hard init, ope ur ok hun, we wil get thru it togetherxx
im sorry but i dont understand tht at all, so a man cangerous and av history of violence drugs weapons yet stil b allowed contact with a child, sorry but any normal person wudnt want tht sort man nr their child end of, and i ant sorry for sayin it, system is all wrong
i know louise its hard to try and keep it that way but iw really will try my best i know its has to be all about the children nd not to make it about me and him , but at the same time it was thre things that happend between me and him that have given me the concerns its so confusing
i will fight my case cos over my dead boy is ex seein my little girl,
i told them he was verbally and racially abusive to my other kids and i am concerned of babys emotonal health
also our emotional health can have a direct affect on the children they did agree with me on that one
Thats a good idea anonymous mum!
Kiera, I am no way saying I agree with the system, I am saying the system is what we have to work with, so the best way to make the system work FOR US is to concentrate on the effect on the children.
louise i had a talk with litttleangel when she was advising me about caffcass is there any chance you could post the link back to that converstaion with littleangel and i may also be able to have anither chat with her if she sees the thread going again thanks
i found a link with her in it not the one i was looking for but hopefully she will reply x
thts wot cafcass lady said the effect it wud have on me and my saftey if he did get contactx and how contact wud b managed
ye they said to me to how it could be managed IF contact was appropriate
Hi anonymousmum, I have found the other threads you were looking for, have a look at my response in your thread Violent ex taking me to court for contact.
hi all, had court today and the ex got everything, guradianship, unsupervised access 6 hours a week and the barring order lifted, what do i do now!! i really dont understand what happened!!
hi hun no way, the violent man got all tht, its not ryt hun, are u okxx
no im in shock and so disappointed in the law that is supposed to protect us. the guards are still investigating him hitting my older son but the judge didnt even talk about that. what am i supposed to do now
Hi darsen, i am so sorry that court did not go the way you had hoped, do you know if you are you able to appeal against the decision? what about your legal people are they coming up with any suggestions as to the way forward from here?
hi did u av a soliciter, if so spk to er or him, im in shock hun,how can they giv man like tht all tht access its wrong, x
hi yes can u apeal hun, x
what would happen if i just dont obey the courts orders and not let my baby go to my ex?
Hi darsen if you don't go along with a court order then your ex could take you back to court to enforce the order. It is worth having a word with our Legal Expert about this, to find out all the ins and outs. Another thing to bear in mind is if this happened, would it be a new "matter" ie a new case and therefore not eligible for Legal Aid under the new rules? for him as well as you, I mean, so do ask this too.
hi darsen it wudnt look gud hun if u didnt obey court order, the procedings wud go ahead without u, i no its temptin its crossed my mind as well hun, x
cud u apeal hun,and fight it, and says ur concerns for ur baby saftey .x
Wow I am so sorry to hear this, sounds horrific.
But whatever you do please please please do not run away with the child or deny access.
You'll end up on the news for abduction even if you are the mother.
Deny access and you'll have a very hard time building a case or justifying anything after that.
You are basically then viewed as in contempt of the court and not just the childs father
You'll be starting off from a negative stance.
Try talking to people who have been through this or expert to help you build a case.
bare the contact for now, IF anything happens to the child during contact then you'll have a point to talk from.
Also as temptin as it may be do not LIE or Falsefy anything.
As the procedures are as such, You state your concern and why contact was ended, Fact finding reports are involved and if ANY thing does not make sense or is deemed false. It will blacken your credibility and you could loose your child.
Some men are evil to their ex partners but are loving parents try be realistic, if he is not hurting the child then leave it be.
The courts are of the view 2 parents is better then one.
You really need help with this case a barrister or something and perhaps counselling after such a traumatic experience.
My prayers are with you.
Play your cards right and sue the PANTS of them.
Its time to get your game up.
Oh sorry i thought you said 6 days in the week instead of 6 hours, Thats not even to bad.
Just think of it as your relaxation time.
My friend has an order like that, its every saturday and he has to collect from a public place and drop of in a public place and he is not allowed to even come anywhere near her house.
Her son had that contact for years an is a very healthy balanced young man now, He thrived having a father figure albeit a few hrs a week.
If he brings the child late Phone the police.
And if he is as bad as you said he was then i doubt this will last very long, missed visitation is another point to built a case from :)
Shocked mum makes a really good point there, darsen, he has been unreliable in the past and if true to form he will not keep up this routine either. What do you think?
ya he will mess up sooner or later i just hope nothing happens my wee boy in the mean time
Yes of course, a massive worry or you. I wasn't overlooking that, just wondering if you thought his unreliability would continue now. What does your solicitor say about appealing, is there an appeal process available for you?
i am seeing the solicitor on Tuesday so i will find out
hope everythin goes ok hunx
I have been trying to find this court case for you sorry i can't find it. But i will keep trying till I do.
This woman was in your boat the father got everything but he used this visitation in the wrong way, a oppertunity to hurl abuse etc etc he would sometimes not even turn up and she would report to her solicitor. and when she would terminate visitation he would re-apply to court and then the court ordered a Section 91/14
Which is basically a barring order preventing him from making anymore application involving the child.
As since he has now been given the oppertunity and he does NOT grasp it with both hands he will be viewed as a vexatious litigant.
I am still searching.
Keep your head up.
There is always a bright light at the end of any tunnel xxxxxxx
hi well thts wot appended with my sons dad,he took me court 3 times,and 3 times he messed up, and he got told in 2009 tht he musnt apply again to the courtsx
Hiya kiera, thats interesting.
What happeneds when you get a barring order?
Is it like a break from further litigation like a timed barring order.
or can you get it till the child reaches 18?
If i knew what i knew now i would have been so carefull who I had a kid with, its sucks so much in and out of court for years!
They should make teenagers aware of this torment as a form of precaution!
Hmm and I am really starting to think i was very lucky.
My case was from september 2012 and i was made aware of it in feb 2013 and by may 2013 the court said it had gone on for to long and it was emotionally damaging for me and dismissed it. Perhaps an exception and not the rule or they must have disliked my ex.
hmm
well ive bin in court since july 25th last year, ad 4 hearings, my soliciter said in court yesterday bout effect court procedings was avin on me, i actually started cryin in court i cudnt elp it,she stuck up for me and said i want this case dismissed, the dad isnt to b trusted he as lied alway thru these court procedings and failed 2 drug tests, and tht i am very scared of him, u no my non molestation order wil never end aparently,thts how much of rsik he is to me, and aven cafacss guy said same as my soliciter ,so tht was gud,so final hearin in august,cafacss on my side so shud b ok,im confused tht if he tht much of risk to me and my kids why is he stil livin in same house as his partner and 4 kids,im confused bout tht
Hi keira, that does sound rather conflicting that your ex is to much off a risk to you and your daughter but seemingly everything is fine for him to be with this other woman and her a family.
aparently cos only bin one domestic incident then it s fine forn him b there and the social trust her,even tho there as bin drug raids and drugs found in his house and in his freezer , social av bin in volved with um child protection for 7 months, case closed, but cafacss as reported him now for his canabis use,so socila wil b involved again, dont care i got rid of him, itys er who is livin with violent thug not me, feel sori for his kids x
Hiya guys,
I went did some digging because it just did not sit right with me how some cases go on for years and mines got dismissed eventhough it was less then a year as it would have a prejudicial effect.
WELLL Basically from what I have found out is because I had a letter from womens aid which had a time line and with that i mean what i have been through in the last 4 years and mentions cleary when i had a breakdown and the circumstances that lead to it and what happened afterwards. the child being in her grand mothers care untill i finished my counselling and was stable on anti-deppresants and unbeknownst to me they went of that and calculated how much I could take and said she can't take any more of this. and they were frightened i may have another break down and the child will be out my care which is not beneficial for her so they dismissed the case.
So they take womens aid very serious :) Keep your heads up everyone
Thanks for that Shockedmum, your post really highlights how important it is to get involved with a support agency, as professional notes and/or letters can be used in Court if required.
i told her that his mum left us unsupervised on two ocassions after i arrived there with out informing me before i arrived