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My 13 year old son is persistently late for school as, in spite of going to bed at a reasonable hour AND sleeping, he is extremely exhausted in the mornings - not just school day mornings, EVERY morning!
We've tried everything and the school is aware of the problems we're having. Unfortunately the Education Welfare Service is now on the verge of throwing the book at me. Last year I succesfully challenged their £50 fine for absenteeism and we were able to prove their figures were wrong. I'm worried that my son's current spate of latenesses (they get recorded as absences) are going to result in another fine - which will rise to £1000 and, if unpaid, a court appearance with the threat of imprisonment. Other single parents I know, have fallen foul of this legislation and one woman even lost her job over it.
The school suggests that I get a GP letter every time my son is ill but the GP says he's not authorised to do this. My son isn't even particularly ill, though he's definitely not well. He's had a set of blood tests in a bid to identify the cause of his exhaustion and pain but, although some of the results indicated a potential issue, we were told he was OK. Most mornings he has nosebleeds which take ages to stop and which can be quite frightening. He also falls asleep in class and gets very grumpy when made to stay awake. Needless to say... endless detentions for bad behaviour!
I'm at my wits end and really don't know what to do. I'm torn between holding my ground against the Education Welfare Service and going all out to find out what is wrong with my son. I know there IS something wrong with him as he's given up all his outdoor activities he used to love so much and he's become depressed and uncommunicative. Having had 2 older children I know this goes way beyond the usual teenage thing but how do I get help for my son rather than more punitive sanctions?
Hi again. I was just wondering if Chronic Fatique Syndrome has been ruled out by the GP. You said your son is exhausted and also pain was mentioned. This is an article on CFS here
I was also wondering that hazeleyes, my friends son went through a similar thing about 18 months ago, he was exhausted all the time and did miss a lot of school, they didnt actually diagnose what it was but his symptoms gradually lessened although he still has times where he can be in bed at 7/8pm and he is now 16.
Funnily enough he also suffered from chronic nose bleeds and still does xxx
I would go back to your GP and insist that there is something not right and that they investigate further, maybe he could be kind enough to write to the school to explain that your son is still seeing him as and when, that might keep them off your back xxx
Hi harissa
It is nice to hear from you 
You have been through the usual sleepyhead teenager thing, they can be terrible at that I know. My friend's daughter used to be asleep for about 16 hours out of every 24, there was nothing "wrong" with her, just her age. It is very worrying about him falling to sleep and feeling depressed though.
I don't know what he has been tested for? but as a completely non-medical PARENT I would be asking my GP to test for anaemia, thyroid function (especially as you have a thyroid problem yourself), diabetes, glandular fever (if he has had a sore throat) or mononeucleosis if he has been generally unwell and getting him assessed for actual depression. Plus hazeleyes has given you a link for CFS.
Your question, however, is which way to jump, to get help for your son. First port of call has to be the GP again. I don't know how things are between you and your son at the moment but are you able to talk with him, or do you think he would see Relateen? Sometimes going to sleep can be a way of avoiding things which are making a teen unhappy. A counsellor could also write a letter to the school, with your son's permission to explain how he is feeling and that they are helping him.
That link to CFS was interesting as it could be a possibility. Personally, I suspect thyroid problems because of the high incidence of the condition in our family. My son's thyroid test results were descibed as "normal" but, to me, are rather suspicious and DO indicate an issue. I'd like to request another blood test to see if there's any change in his thyroid levels, as one stand-alone blood test won't show up a trend. The thing is, it took me TEN years to get a diagnosis myself and I don't relish the prospect of going through that all over again. The GPs really did make me wonder at times whether it was all in my head and, even now, they are trying to cut my medication in spite it being at a level where my condition has stabilised sufficiently for me to lead a normal life.
The Relateen link is brilliant! I'm intending to follow that up when I have a chance as it does look that it could be of real benefit to us.
Have to go now to sort out an issue with the school...
Good luck harissa and let us know how you get on
good luck with this harissa.
We've managed to get a GP appointment for after school tomorrow. Son is pleased as he's just found out his school is on strike the day after that.
That's good, hopefully the Dr can start getting to the bottom of things from here on in. My son isn't pleased, his school is open, hehe.
Great that you got an appointment. I don't know how you feel about medical appointments but I always find it helpful to write down some bullet points and a couple of key phrases
Back from the GP. My son never made it there in person as he had another attack of the runs and ended up stuck in the loo. Still, I told the GP all of his symptoms and the wider family history and she will see him next week. She agreed that his condition has gone on far too long now.
That's good, they will maybe be ready to do some more extensive tests now. Sorry to hear your boy has a bad tum still. I don't know if he is eating normally but it is sometimes a good idea to stick to water and clear liquid (sipped frequently, not gulped) if he can manage not to eat for a while, to give the bug chance to clear...and go and see the pharmacist if it carries on.
Glad the GP listened, and hope things go well next week.
Is he any better?
Thanks to the school strike, we didn't have to go through the usual morning massacre routine. But... he's still sound asleep and even the prospect of a whole day out having fun with his mates has done nothing to stir him. The boy just isn't right! 
We've worked out what may have caused this current run of the runs, as it were. My adult son had given him a pack of sugar-free mints, on which the teeniest writing states "excessive consumption may have a laxative effect". It wouldn't explain the nausea and exhaustion though, so I'm glad I went to the GP.
In spite of the strike, the school pastoral care worker phoned me today so I was able to bring her up to date with the situation. It's a bit of a relief as her records will be invaluable should the Education Welfare Service decide to make a move on us.
Yes it will, it is all grist to the mill, as they say. Glad you are moving foward with this worrying situation
Saw the GP yesterday and my son is having further blood tests and is being referred to a paediatrician. It seems odd that a 13 year old will be sent to a paediatrician as I always visualise them as dealing with little kids!
Had the usual rigmarole this morning, Boy went to bed at 9pm last night, yet I couldn't shift him until 11am. Three and a half hours of yelling at him to get out of bed is exhausting and I've had enough of it!!
Hi harissa. I can imagine how draining it is for you. Just half hour of calling someone is bad enough!! It's good news that he is being referred to the paediatrician. I'm sure they see these until the age of 16 don't they? I do hope he doesn't have to wait too long for an appointment. I know my son waited months before he was seen. Good luck for this morning with getting son up.
Hi harissa
Thank heavens it is nearly the summer hols!
I am glad your son was referred, know what you mean about paediatrician, but think they see youngsters up til the age of about 16.
In the meantime you have a couple of weeks to get through, of school mornings. Can you think of anything that would motivate him in terms of rewards, such as extra X box time, a special meal or something else that you could use to "bribe" him out of bed in the mornings?
Just a thought: you say he goes to bed at 9pm, do you think he actually goes to sleep? My friend has a son who in the past has waited until his parents are asleep then was on the Internet for hours each night. It might be worth spot checks just to see if he really is asleep. Not just for going on the Internet but just if he is wakeful
The GP says I should hear from the choose and book system within 2 weeks, so at least we'll have a better idea of the time scale quite soon.
My son got in to school on time today! I still had to be on the ball in shifting him but it is nice when it is effective!
He generally goes to bed between 10 and 10.30. When he's exhausted, he'll put himself to bed at 9 or, on a couple of occasions recently, as early as 6pm. Whatever the time his head touches the pillow, he is incapable of stirring before 8am.
At his suggestion we even tried getting him up at 6am and then letting him play on the X-box before going to school. It even seemed to work for a while and we were both delighted as there was the extra benefit of him being super-mentally alert for his morning lessons. Alas it didn't last - exhaustion kicked in!
As a matter of interest, what time do other parents ensure their 13 year olds go to bed? Many of my son's friends go to sleep between 10.30 and 11pm. Thinking back I think I used to go to sleep around 10 to 10.30pm when I was that age. I'd snuggle up in bed with a book!
That sounds like a plan, to have him starting the long wake up process before he actually needs to... well done for this morning, you must be exhausted yourself.
Bedtimes. My son is 16 now, I am quite strict that he gets a last drink from downstairs at 10 and must have finished in the bathroom and be relaxing in bed by 10.30, doesn't have to go to sleep but the proviso is that the first time he does not get up on time, there is enforced lights out at 10.30 and then the last drink time is brought forward as well. I am very lucky he is so co-operative at his age! We also have a chart where the first column says "if you are at college/work in the morning at" and the second column says "you must be in by"....so if he is going out he checks the first column, say if he has to be at college by 10, then the chart says be in by 11. It saves a lot of argy-bargy as then I don't have to lay down the law each time, he just consults the chart, lol. Sorry, bit off topic but wanted to share that for people with older teens.
Hopefully some other people can shed some light on bedtimes for children nearer your son's age. My parents always used to get ready for bed after the 10pm news headlines and I was generally in bed with a book by then, apart from youth club night when I got in at 10.30 and was then straight to bed.
I remember being in bed by about 9.30 at your son's age harissa. We were allowed to read, no tv in our room of course, but normally asleep by 10.
Today has not gone well. Once again he went to sleep at 9am and, in spite of my best efforts, only became alert at 2pm. I had an important meeting at 10am, so had to draft in a friend to take over trying to wake him up and get him out of the do. We both failed!
The school has marked him in as "sick" today. It's getting ridiculous as he's missing so much education through this. I'm worrying again that the Education Welfare people will refuse to believe me and will send out a fixed penalty fine which I'll have to challenge through court. 
Thank heavens it is nearly the holidays and there might be enough time to get to the bottom of it during the break.
Hi harissa, nice to 'see' you again, although sorry to hear you are being stressed by this.
My daughter used to go to bed at 8.30 when she was 13, at 16 she still has to be in bed by 9.30, however I don't know what time she turns the light off, at her age I used to be up til 2/3 in the morning, because I could never put my book down!! I am still the same now!
My daughter is very good at getting up and getting herself to school, however at the weekends she will still be sleeping at 12.30 if I let her! When I have tried to wake her up, the only way to do it is to keep talking to her and expect a response, she eventually comes to. It is exhausting, but if I just go in and tell her good morning etc and leave, she will go straight back to sleep. A bit like me really!
I am glad that the doctor sounded concerned that not enough has been done in supporting your son with this. It sounds as though your son wants to fix this too, as he has been the one making suggestions.
Remember if you get any grief from the school contact ACE's helpline - 0808 800 5793, they will be able to tell you what you can do.
We MAY have an answer!
My son had a blood test yesterday and later we had an urgent phonecall from one of the practice GPs asking me to check him and see if he was conscious. It seems his blood sugar level was so low (2) that that the blood lab had contacted the surgery immediately to alert them their patient was at risk of collapse!
Fortunately my son was fine and had made it through the schoolday in one piece. The GP was very surprised to hear that he'd eaten cocopops about an hour before the blood test was taken, as that ought to have made his blood sugar high, so the plot thickens. She was pleased that the hospital appointment has been booked and says that more tests will be carried out there. She expressed surprise that he's even been able to stand up in the mornings, given the blood test reading, but added the result could be a fluke reading. However, his symptoms are so typical of low blood sugar, I think we may finally be on the right track.
Well done to you for being persistant too.
Have you informed the scool of this? Just incase he does collapse at school?
Yes, just did. I have to phone back when Matron gets in and discuss it with her.
At last! Not that I glad that there is a rogue result but that this may be the first link to the solution!!
Hi Harissa, yes, that sounds great, it can be so comforting to hear that you are not going crazy! There is actually something more going on with your boy than teenage laziness.
Keep us informed, won't you.
In case anyone else is in the same boat, I found this radio program very interesting:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0132l7b/Am_I_Normal_Series_8_Episo...
From the 8 minute mark, they talk about teenage exhaustion, and it sounds exactly the same situation as experienced by my son!
He had his hospital assessment yesterday. The paediatrician took his history and gave him a thorough physical and neurological examination. Physically my son is fine, which is some consolation, BUT we've been warned this is the first of many appointments. In 8 weeks time, he'll be recalled for the next set of tests.
I'm glad that the process has begun though harissa.
Had teh paediatrician heard of the topic on the radio programme?
Hi harissa, thanks for letting us know how he is.
I only found out about the radio program after we'd been to the paediatrician. However, the questions she asked covered the same territory as the program, so it was reassuring.
Good to know that things are being done harissa.
i hope you get it sorted. Has his nosebleeds stopped? I have nasal polyps, and as a result although I sleep for hours my sleep is intermittent as i keep having to wake up to clear my nose, which means I get no proper sleep. Im always tired, and suffer from nosebleeds too. I struggle to get out of bed every morning, and always end up napping throughout the day.
Hello alexandraelizabeth
Bit off-thread here but have you ever had your polyps cauterised? My eldest son had his done and scarely ever has a bleed now, though we used to be up in the night regularly with mess everywhere.
Hi Harissa. Lovely to see you here again.
My first thing would be to take him back to the GP, ask if there are other tests that can be done. Clearly something isn't right, if he is suffering nosebleeds, falling asleep during class etc. I'm sorry not sure what else to suggest. It must be extremely worrying for you, on top of your son's issues, also the threat of fines too. Have you spoken to the Head of year?