widowed parents
Hi justme, glad to see you back again! :D
I received an email about an event for those who have suffered the death of a partner early in life, here is the link http://www.careforthefamily.org.uk/adjday/
Maybe that would be of interest to you??
I hope you find others in a similar position to you on One Space so you can share experiences and learnings.
Sending hugs and best wishes your way mimsy.
Hope your oldest is settling well in school.
Hello mimsy
Thank you for posting. Did you have a look at that link that Anna posted in the message before yours?
How are things with you now? I notice you now have one child at school, another milestone!
Hi mimsy
Glad you like the site. We do try and look at things positively here, although there is room for many a moan and rant, and we support any single parent going through tough times too.
That's a big relief that your daughter has setted so well at school. I must admit I was not thinking of it from the other point of view, that you will now have some quality time with your son. My sons were born exactly five years apart so the eldest was at school by the time the youngest arrived.
There is no need for you to join groups etc if you would prefer not to, as long as you know some support is there if/when you need it. Have you got any local family?
Hope your day is going well.It is pouring with rain here....
Pouring here too!
I'm so glad your daughter has settled mimsy. It does help, doesn't it?
Hi mimsy, welcome along, its so lovely to read that people like our site! 
How is life treating you now? It sounds as though life has settled down for you after what I can only imagine as a horrific time. Did you join any websites or chat rooms for widowers?
Do you have any advice for other people who read this post and maybe finding times hard and see no hope for the future?
Hello mimsy
Thank you for that wonderful post and for sharing some of your thoughts and experiences with us. You're right in that everyone will deal with things differently and there isn't a "formula" for moving forward, as such. Very insightful comments about the grieving process as well! we all go through different levels of grieving with any loss in our life, from losing a job, to a bereavement, to broken relationships. I do feel sad that some of your memories are hazy but this in itself could be like a form of protection, ie to stop you feeling "too much".
You have done so well to carve out a life for you and your children and to run your own business, to say nothing of the school work! It's great you have family, friends and neighbours to call on, and that the children still see their dad's family too.
Bitter-sweet, yes.Brave....that too!
Hope your cold hasn't developed too much, and you will have a good day today.
Incredibly brave.
xxx
I have the same argument with my daughter! She's 16 now, but will hardly ever wear a coat since she's been walking to school, which is coming up to 5 years.
A neighbour actually came knocking on the door one evening, with a coat and some jumpers. She must have thought I couldn't afford a coat, and was so sweet.
I used to make my daughter go to the shop wearing this coat so my neighbour could see it being worn. However, she still won't wear a coat to school...
Hi mimsy, welcome along to One Space. Your previous post, about how you coped and managed to get through all of that is incredible. You're an amazing woman, and your children will have wonderful memories of their Daddy. It's fantastic that you have so many friends and family to support you on good and bad days.
I hope you're not feeling too poorly today. I had the same problem with my 8 year old son with his coat. Went out with a summer jacket on 
Gave up with the yelling, as I was wasting my breath!!!!
Take care, look forward to 'chatting' some more.
Alison
x
Hi there mimsy, I have been off the forums for a while, working behind the scenes! I have just seen your messages here now, as everyone else has said, thanks for the great post, it was really open and honest and I think will be supportive to others who may be finding the loss of a loved one just as confusing as you did.
Its funny how this thread has turned into how our children won't wear coats!! As the thread is called 'Widowed parents' I am going to bring it back round again, as I hope other users will find this topic and it can support them if they need it.
Please feel free to start another thread in another discussion room if you wish to talk about other stuff!
Mimsy it is interesting that you found a single parent site, out of interest do you call yourself a single parent or a widow? Or both? 
Awww, bless her, but what a lovely way to explain it.
xx
Hi Mimsy
I didn't know whether to laugh or be shocked at your story about the fireman. I will settle for a bit of shocked laughter.
I take your point about boxes on forms, and this has become more annoying since the Internet, which won't accept forms without every blessed thing filled in, Categorising us at every touch and turn! which is what Anna was asking about really. So many single parents (in whatever circumstances) don't like to say they are a single parent and yet you have experienced telling people you have been widowed getting yet another reaction.
One thing you mentioned in an earlier post, that you craved distraction in order to cope with what was going on and you found it hard to just be at home, is this still true do you think, or have you become a bit more relaxed as time has gone on?
Hi Louise
I'd like to say yes but unfortunately the answer is no! lol. I'm terrible at just sitting and doing nothing but I do think that is partly my personality as well.
I used to love relaxing with my husband and there is no way I would be doing all the work I do now if he was still around. I used to just look forward to him coming home from work (he worked long shifts) so that we could just cuddle up on the sofa together. I used to resent working in the evenings back then as I felt like I was missing out on 'hubby time'. I do still have to get myself incredibly tired before I will go to bed as I'm still aware that its on my own.
I know I need to learn how to relax...and when I have time, I will do! lol
On the plus side - it keeps my brain ticking over as I get a lot of new challenges! My children are lovely, but a 2 year old and a 4 year old don't provide the most stimulating of conversations.
It also means that i can successfully work from home as I can give it the level of commitment that is needed!
Working from home is so handy - I ran a business from home when my lot were small.
What a brilliant job! I hope you've had a productive 
Hi Helen
Its been raining a lot here too! We got soaked the other day when we visited Tropical World just running back to the car! lol.
I've got my fingers crossed for snow again. My youngest was a little too young to appreciate it last year so this year should be more fun!
If you find me quiet on other forums I am still here - I just don't know what to say in most cases! I think Anna asked the question - do I consider myself a single parent? My answer is yes still but it is different...so many of you still seem to be having trouble with ex's I've no idea what to say! Mark was my first 'proper' partner and well...we got married. (I did date - just never seriously! Think my longest relationship before Mark was 3 months) So i've never really had a split. lol
There may be still time though if I ever meet anybody else...
Hello mimsy
I expect the children enjoyed the Tropical World trip. We have one not too far away and my boys used to love it, there were fish but also different snakes and lizards and a butterfly house (nice and warm in there, lol).
You may not have had a "split" but you still parent on your own and we are here for everyone in that situation. Please do join in on other topics, you can just avoid the ones about exes if it makes you feel left out.
There is General Interest with everything from recipes to politics, Just for Fun for jokes and Parenting Support for.......parenting support Just click on the blue titles I have given them and you will go straight there.
So if we have snow this winter, can I blame you, mimsy? heh heh
Please no snow lol
If we do have snow, please can between 16 - 24 December be clear.
Thank you
Right, hope the weathermen have made a note of those dates.....
Hi mimsy
Sorry I have not responded to you for a while, I have been busy doing 'behind the scenes' work.
It was interesting what you said about the fireman, people have such negative ideas about single parents, it must be awful when you feel you are tarred with the same brush.
It sounds as though you are keeping yourself busy, however as Louise mentioned earlier, it is important that you give yourself time to relax,look after yourself and love yourself how about a pampering session? Treatment at a spa?? It sounds like you definitely deserve it!
You mention earlier about meeting someone else......have you been on any dates? Not for a serious relationship, just for the healthiness of someone paying you some undivided attention?!
It's so lovely when friends call round for a gossip. I miss those days - I think my lot are so big now, they fill the house and I think it can be overwhelming for those who do call.
My best friend died three years ago, and I do miss the laughter we shared, and I know the children miss her too.
We have sun here **faint**
This now sounds very sad, but I don't have anyone to ask around. One will pop around every now and then, but she often babysits for her grandaughter...
My children are 18, 16 (my daughter), 14 (he has special needs) and my youngest son is 11.
I think even should the children ever leave home, I migh just enjoy sitting in the garden and enjoy the quiet (in the hope I don't have noisey neighbours by then!!!).
Doing the Scouts though, I do have a fair bit of adult company, which has done me a lot of good, and has given me a lot more confidence too.
The 'come dine with me' competition sounds a brilliant idea!
If I lived near you Sparkling, we could meet up and discuss the important subject of how we are 'perfect' Mums It's great though that you have the scouts and other adult company, and of course you have all of us at One Space.
Like the idea of 'come dine with me'. Have to opt for others cooking though, and me being the judge 
Yes it does. My eldest did one when he moved in with a load of new housemates, so they could get to know each other better. Guess who had to design his menu? 
Mimsy you could sabotage the whole thing by giving everyone one point each TIMES TWO then you would be the winner!!
Peace and quiet, sparkling lime? That'll be the day!
Hello justme, nice to hear from you, I had noticed you hadn't posted for a while.
I hope you get to hear from other widowed parents on the site :)
best wishes
Louise