Suze (26) Oxford New Single Mum

simplysuze

Hey All

My name is Suze I'm 26 and have just become a single mum. I have a little boy who will be 5 in January and we live in Oxford. I was with my partner for 8 years and have just split after a very nasty break up almost resulting in my breakdown x

Love to speak with some other people in similar situations xx ;)

Posted on: October 30, 2009 - 11:19pm

sparklinglime

Hi Suze

I'm so sorry that you've had the need to find us. Hopefully we can give you some support.

I look forward to getting to know you.

I've been on my own for over 5 years now, and have no regrets.

Best wishes

Posted on: October 31, 2009 - 1:12am

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hello simplysuze

You are welcome here! I am sorry to hear about the devastating effect your break-up has had, it DOES get easier but I know that is hard to believe right now. There are lots of resources on here to help you as well as plenty of other members to support you. I hope that you will join in our online community and dive in wherever you like :D

Posted on: October 31, 2009 - 8:16am

hazeleyes

Hi Suze
Welcome to One Space. Sorry to hear that you've suffered so much. A break up can be so hard especially when there are children involved. I hope you are managing to get through this with support. Do you have family and friends around you?
I have a son of 7 and have been on my own since day 1, so I haven't been through your experience, but look forward to getting to know you.
Take care
Alison
x :)

Posted on: October 31, 2009 - 10:20am

Claire-Louise

Hi Suze and welcome to Onespace. I am also sorry to hear about your tough break up and I echo what others have said about it getting easier. I am sure you have made the right decision to bring the relationship to and end. I hope you are able to find the support and friendship you are looking for here. Do you have a support network around you/
Cheers C-L

Posted on: November 1, 2009 - 12:47pm

simplysuze

Thanks all for your kind replies x It's nice to know there are others out there who understand.

Posted on: November 1, 2009 - 11:27pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Yes, there is support here when you need it, simplysuze. :)

Do join in some of the other threads too, it will be good to chat with you

Posted on: November 2, 2009 - 7:45am

furrytomato

Hi suze I know it is hard to begin with and it feels like you will never get through but beleive me you WILL get through it and be a lot stronger for it too.

Just try to be positive for your son and try to find something that can distract you for a few minutes at a time(for example reading/knitting or even painting if you are creative but make it something you used to enjoy) then eventually whatever it was you started doing for a few minutes you will find yourself becoming more and more absorbed and this will not only pass the time but also help you to heal on the inside too.

all my best, furry

Posted on: November 4, 2009 - 7:49pm

lindsaygii

Hi Suze -- I'm like Alison, the dad has never been around. My heart goes out to you, it must be very very hard to have it all fall apart. Stay with us and we'll sort you out! :)

Posted on: November 4, 2009 - 10:18pm

hazeleyes

Hi lindsaygii
Did you persue things with the 'grandparents'? If so, how did it go? Have read your posts regarding the CSA. You are right to keep at it.
Since you first appeared on here, you seem so much stronger. You are doing well :)
How are the sleepless nights? Hope they are gradually getting better. If not, it will get easier.
Have a lovely weekend
Take care
Alison
x :)

Posted on: November 6, 2009 - 3:36pm

Claire-Louise

Hi All
How are things going today? It is raining here in Bristol and I am really tired so looking forward to the weekend. It is really good to see that people have grown and become stronger since first visiting this site and that people have been members for long enough to be able to see those changes taking place. I think it is a real inspiration to be able to be part of and witness a group supporting each other so strongly.
Cheers C-L

Posted on: November 6, 2009 - 5:21pm

lindsaygii

Well, things are better, and I put that down in large part to (a) me working out a way of getting more sleep (he naps at set times, so I'm able to get some zzzzz at the same time and (b) he's gone through a big change in himself and become much more fun as a little person, less of a babyblob (they are cute, but boring!).

As for the grandparents, the letter is written (I deliberately made it all about the baby, nothing about anything else) and I just got the last of the prints in the post at the end of the week, so I'll be posting it soon. I still assume the SD has lied about paternity to his family. Until he proves me wrong!! :)

And yes, I do feel MUCH better than I did. Maybe you only go looking for help when you're at rock bottom (I think that's true of me), and of course finding help makes an enormous difference.

For me, finding that I am just one of at least four in my situation on these forums alone makes a huge difference. I hope Suze is thinking something similar...

Posted on: November 6, 2009 - 8:30pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hello lindsaygii

I am glad to see you feeling stronger and getting more sleep! It deos help to know you're not alone and you in your turn have already given support and encouragement to others, thank you :D

Good luck wih the "The Letter"

Posted on: November 7, 2009 - 8:19am

Claire-Louise

Hi Lindsaygii
It is really good to hear that you are feeling stronger. it is amazing how much some decent sleep makes to ones outlook on life. it is no wonder that lack of sleep is a form of torture!
Good luck with the letter. I hope the grandparents are accepting and keep in touch.
Have a good weekend.
C-L

Posted on: November 7, 2009 - 6:35pm

Anna

Parenting specialist

Lindsaygii

Oh it is fantastic to read your posts here, it is SOO good to hear that you have been reaching out for help and receiving it too! I think you are right that where our child is at can have a huge effect and now he has moved into the more interesting stage, life might feel like its going to pick up.

Great to see you feeling brighter, look forward to hearing more. :)

Posted on: November 13, 2009 - 10:48am