I don't actually agree completely as I think both men and women fall into both categoris but here it is anyway, slightly out of context....
"But I will give you two examples to illustrate my point.
This one I learned intellectually ten years ago, but only recently actually internalized: when a man goes to someone and talks about a problem, they are looking for help. They want the other person to suggest ways to fix it, or validate their own approach. When a woman goes to someone to talk about a problem, they just want commiseration. They want someone to listen and agree that it sucks.
Well when a woman goes to a man with a problem, she just wants him to listen; he tries to fix it. If you've ever actually looked to someone for a shoulder and they tried to solve the problem, it's incredibly annoying. It can feel like they're trying to meddle, or they are dismissing your ability to deal with it. So take that feeling - that's how a woman feels when you try to help her with her problems. Now her reaction may seem insane ("Why did you come to me with a problem if you didn't want help?") but if you think of it that way, suddenly it makes sense.
Another one is the ongoing war over household chores. This is pure subjectivism - if two roommates take turns doing the dishes, and each one does exactly half the work, I'll bet you each of them thinks they're doing more than their fair share. Why? Because they only see their roommate doing dishes now and then - they aren't in the kitchen every time; but they are there every time they do the dishes. So in their mind their contribution is overrepresented.
Same thing with any shared contribution between parties in a relationship. Except now the person doing the bitching is female, so confirmation bias makes it "stupid woman doesn't understand what I do all day"
Yes, a lot of what women do is irrational. But so is a lot of what men do. We're all human."
That is very interesting and I do agree with it in general, BUT! What I was wondering is if this affects us when members post on One Space 
What I mean is, if a man posts do we suggest more solutions, and when a woman posts do we give more empathy and NOT suggest solutions? I know that I want to empathise with every poster and also work towards some sort of solution, whether they are male or female, although it is not the case of telling them what to do, more of looking at options.
Bubblegum, what are your own views?
Hi Anna..
I didn't write it, if you read my first sentence, it's something I found on the interwebz, I don't think men and women are quite that black and white and that for the most part we all exist in a grey area in between when it comes to saying x does this and y does that.
What I liked about it was the whole thing about the dishes and how when you live with someone it always feels like you are doing most of them, that and each person has their own level of acceptable mess anyway.
And the stuff you mention about clothes, it's my son with whom I have all those conversations, I can't wear this it doesn't match, what's the weather like, should I wear this, should I wear that. I just took him to the shop on a wine run and he settled after much debate for pink silk like pijama bottoms and a glittery sort of blouse thing that sparkles, with plimsolls. My daughter would still be wearing what I gave her to wear last month if I hadn't given her something between then and now : )
One thing I have notice about men and women, and again not completely black and white is when you are teaching someone something. Men will switch off about half way through as they already think they know enough and are busily trying to work out the rest for themselves because they are pretty sure they can now make it better and bigger and faster or what ever, women will listen patiently and then go off and do it happy in the knowledge that that's it done and dusted and now what's next please.
: )
AND! Louise.
The solution to most peoples problems seem pretty obvious to me but then it's easier to see the picture looking at something from the outside rather than when you are in the middle of it, that's just my opinion. I think you lot do a good job of diplomaticaly beating around the bush trying to gently push people in the right direction to find solutions to their problems.
And I see you all giving each other assurance and comfort which kind of makes me uncomfortable when it's directed at me ^^: ) but you all seem to like it so carry on : )
AND! I just thought, maybe some people come here and they know the answers to their problems they just need some conformation or reassurance..
..maybe, I dunno.
: )
..it was just a thought.
A lot to be said for reassurance.
What I find is that I have no one else to ask about some things - and know here I'll get good advice...
I guess I need all the positiveness and reassurance I can get!!
And we miss you when you're not about...
Thanks Bubblegum, lots of wisdom there, heh heh and you're right about the way it all works. Sorry if you sometimes feel uncomfortable, I know you take it in your stride. I do agree that people often have the answers to their own problems but it is much easier to see when you are outside the situation. As you know I also work as a counsellor and one of the ways that works is that the person is the "expert" on the subject of themselves.
And by the way, I am glad I am not the only one who has a son with a very keen sense of fashion!
Wish my son was more fashion conscience. C sounds like your daughter Bubblegum. He flatly refuses to wear anything remotely like pink, 'that's a girl's colour, no way am I wearing that'!!!! I did however pick him up some shorts with a mixture of colours the other day, and lo and behold, there is pink in them, but he loves em.
I usually have the answers to my own problems, but it's lovely to check in here, and ask others. I think I also need the reassurance that I'm doing things right.
When parenting alone, there isn't even the other parent to talk things over with so it is good to have each other in that respect, too 
so far, not one of my lot is fashion concious.
After seeing what fashion is like after my daughter's end of Year 11 do, I'm so grateful she's a tomboy...
Hi bubblegum, I realised it was something you found, I was just questioning why you were raising it! Perhaps you were looking for support over something, but not asking directly!! Now I see that you were just starting an interesting topic for conversation!
I think I have changed a lot over the years, when I was younger I was a real tomboy, no dolls for me, climbing trees and digging holes were my favourite past times and really only since finding myself with a daughter I stared to question my feminine side! But your point about how different sexes learn made me giggle as I very much listen for a short while, but then just want to get on with it!! Then ask questions when I am stuck!!
However i don't like to be told what to do, I like questioning everything and finding my own solutions, which is kind of our ethos at One Space as Louise says we don't believe in telling parents what to do, we want to empower people to recognise that they know the right answers for themselves, because they are the 'experts'!
My daughter recently had an incident with her aggressive father and it was really distressing, now I know there are lots of places to go and get support from, but I actually realised that I only wanted to speak to someone from a domestic violence charity as they would be the only people who would know where I am really coming from, rather just getting lots of ahhhh's, bad luck, poor you, how distressing etc etc, they were able to be straight with me, yet understanding.
I guess that is what we are here for, One Space is run by single parents for single parents and sometimes our 2 parent famiy friends, just don't get it, or our parents, just don't get it. So there is an empathy here, but I hope that we are also firm but fair.
You mention that you don't like assurance or comforting, is that because you don't need it, or you would prefer to hear it differently? Who do you go to for reassurance, or don't you need it?
Hi Anna,
I got the whole general thing about teaching people from the three things I have taught in my life, English, Guitar and Driving. Particularly with driving girls are much easier to teach, I dunno if it's because they automaticaly assume that because I'm a man I must know everything about cars (I don't) or what, I dunno : )
I think we spoke before, but I've lived on my own since I was 16, I had an argument with my mum and walked out and she let me go, I guess she thought I would come back in a few days but I didn't, I went and lived in my dad's semi-derelict farm house he was doing up while working abroad. So I'm probably quite independent and self sufficient and don't need reassurance, at least I don't think I do, maybe i do and I don't know. Maybe everyone I walk past is overcome with a compelling urge to give me a cuddle and reassure me, maybe I just cant see it, maybe I'm living in denial. : )
Seriously though.
Be yourself and don't worry about it, what other people think doesn't really matter, I think we all know in our hearts what we want to do and be if we just look : )
That's what I think anyway.
Hi bubblegum, very funny what you say about teaching women to drive, considering the ridiculous jokes that are made about women drivers!
We have spoken before about leaving home early and surprising our parents at how adept we were!
Maybe when I said reassurance I mean a shoulder to lean on, share your worries/fears/parenting decisions? Everybody needs a cuddle now and then, from a grown up, wouldn't you agree?
I absolutely agree that we know in our hearts what is right for us, however sometimes we need a little prompt to remind ourselves what we truly know, well I do anyhows! But I believe in me and know that I am ALWAYS right!! ha ha!
OK! I think I read about your first scenario in Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. I think it is really true, women want to discuss their problems and find their own solutions, which they get from another female, whereas you tell a male and he says "Do this" end of story! Without considering all the effects, emotions and outcomes different solutions might raise!
I'm glad that you have recognised this, now when your daughter is older and is troubling over whether to buy the red top or the blue one, you can discuss all the pros and cons of each option (price, length, quality, buttons or not, short or long sleeve, what other clothes goes with it, should she buy that other skirt that she saw that would look great with the blue but not the red?? would she clash or match with best friend, how often will it be worn, does one look better on her than the other, do she really need either, or should she get both?) .........instead of saying 'it doesn't matter', 'just choose' or 'get the red one' and move to the next shop!!!
I also agree with your second point! I have felt like that in the past, I do all the work around here! I think as well that we all feel that the other person has no idea what I do all day! Male or female, as you said!
So bubblegum, how/why did this became a realisation for you? Whats been happening?