This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.

Rights on taking the kids abroad

francesca

I'm thinking of taking my 6 and 3 year olds to Spain for 5 weeks this summer, during their "contact" time with me. I'm the custodial parent and I have ask the kids father for his opinion (by e-mail, as its the only contact we can manage at the moment). He is not responding and I'm a bit worried, as I don't want to get into trouble. Does anyone know what rights I have or what do I need to do to take them for a bit of well deserved fun.
We have not even file for separation yet, but he is been gone for nearly 3 months now, and only have seen the kids for a total of 2 and a half days.
Advice please!

Posted on: February 5, 2009 - 10:59pm
Back to the top
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Francesca

The holiday sounds like a lot of fun!

Does your childrens' father have parental responsibility? If so, then I believe technically you need his consent to take them out of the country for more than a few days. If you have a Residency Order you can take them for a month without permission (but if you are recently separated I am guessing you don't have an Order). If you get no response from him after your emails, ultimately you can get sanction from the family courts. As this is such a woolly area I would strongly recommend getting a bit of legal advice: you can get 30 minutes free from many solicitors. See http://www.communitylegaladvice.org.uk/index.jsp and put your location into "find a legal adviser" in the box on the left hand side

Let us know how you get on

Louise :)

Posted on: February 5, 2009 - 11:37pm
Back to the top
francesca

Hi, thanks a lot. I haven't got any orders, as any of us have started legal procedures. I will contact a lawyer and find out what to do next. Many thanks.

Posted on: February 6, 2009 - 4:25pm
Back to the top
francesca

I went to see a lawyer today. He said I can take the kids abroad without his consent. I don't even need to tell him, as long as its for up to 4 weeks and I'm returning with them. The law ask for the other parent consent if you are to take them for more than 4 weeks or if you want to leave the country with them for good.
I feel a bit better, I can now look forward to have a bit of fun with them in the sun and see my family, just a pity that I can't spend all the school holiday there just because he is been so difficult!
Francesca

Posted on: February 12, 2009 - 9:49pm
Back to the top
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi that's really interesting, I had researched it and thought you had to have a Residency Order but obviously the lawyer has the top knowledge. Glad you're feeling better!

Louise :D

Posted on: February 12, 2009 - 10:15pm
Back to the top
Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Francesca, that's great news!!

Happy holidays! Where are you going? You mention family, are you visiting them or are you holidaying all together??

Posted on: February 13, 2009 - 3:55pm
Back to the top
francesca

He came last night to get the car insurance papers and even he didn't even look at me in the face in the 5 minutes he was standing by the front door I was very polite and self controlled and told him that we both have to make an effort for the children and put them first. I told him that during all these years he had been an amazing dad and I had always been so proud that my children had such a fabulous father. I also said that he had to be careful about his actions and the way his behaviour was going to hurt the kids even more. He has agreed for me to take the kids for 5 weeks (verbally,so is not much!), so I'm feeling a bit more cheerful. I have something to look forward!!
My parents have 2 summer houses near Valencia (in Spain), the place is lovely with a huge swimmingpool and lots and lots of grass and fig trees. There are 24 house around the pool and we know all the families there, there are a few with kids of my children age and they have been friends since they were born. My brother, sister and aunty also have a house there, so it's always a wonderful place and we love been surrounded by friends and family, we have parties in the evenings (like neighbour barbaqueas in the communal areas with lots of kids and adults). The families there are Spanish, English, French... so its a great cultural experience for the kids also. I know is long time till July but is just little things like this that give me a bit of energy to carry on.

Posted on: February 14, 2009 - 4:30pm
Back to the top
ficurnow

Glad to hear you will be able to go away to see your family and have their support. It IS important to give ourselves things like this to look forward to. In July I'm taking mine to Malta on a plane for the first time ever and I'm really looking forward to the adventure! Fi x

Posted on: February 14, 2009 - 6:55pm
Back to the top
francesca

It sounds great, I have never been to Malta but just the thought of spending some quality time witht he kids in a hot country sounds like heaven. Just relaxing by the pool, eating outside and not having to get up early for work!!
Have a lovely time, we will also try our best!
F xx

Posted on: February 16, 2009 - 9:54pm
Back to the top
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

That's great that you will both have holidays to look forward to. Fi, I went to Malta last year and it was lovely. Francesca, it sounds so appealing to just go off and relax surrounded by extended family........Roll on the summer!

Louise

Posted on: February 17, 2009 - 3:05pm
Back to the top