NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS

sparklinglime

Huge good luck from me (that sounds so wrong, somehow!)

I don't make resolutions :D I seem to make them on a daily basis 8-) and even manage to not stick to them then.

Posted on: December 28, 2009 - 12:57pm

Claire-Louise

Hi Alison
Thanks for the post and good luck with the no smoking resolution. My yoga teacher thinks that people who smoke are infact people who don't breathe properly so you could try substituting the smoking for some simple breathing exercises. Ladder breathing in one that springs to mind where you start of tuning into your breath cycle and noticing it initially, then you breath in, pause , and the continue breathing in again and then allow the breath to go out naturally. Keep doing this and you can start in introduce more pauses so build up from one, two to three pauses. Then you can retun to your normal breath and then try doing the same on the out breath so breathe out, pause, then continue breathing out and then allow the breath to come in naturally. it really clears the lungs by firstly really filling them to capacity and then really clearing them out.
Do you fancy giving that a go?
good luck and Happy New year!
C-L

Posted on: December 28, 2009 - 4:11pm

hazeleyes

I'm sitting here doing it, as I was reading Claire-Louise. Thankyou for the tip, I will certainly give it a go.

Posted on: December 28, 2009 - 4:18pm

pinkgrapefruit

Hi Alisoncam,

Great idea for a thread.....need to think a bit more about what my resolution is going to be.....will keep you posted when I have decided.

Good luck with giving up smoking, just think how good you'll feel about yourself when (not if!) you manage...and the cash you'll save...and I bet your son would be really happy too...thats without even mentioning the health aspect...go for it!! We are all behind you x

Posted on: December 28, 2009 - 8:08pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

hi alisoncam

Wow that was a good suggestion from Claire-Louise about the breathing.

It's so hard to give up smoking as I well know. The NHS will give you some great help including nicotine replacement therapy and support groups, have a chat with your GP surgery. Another tip I can give you is to see how long you can delay the first cigarette of the day. Also have a think about which cigarettes would be the hardest to give up, would it be the one after your main meal or the one after a stressful event? The next thing to do is to find something to replace that. Easier said than done! Another idea is to save the money you would have spent on smoking, in a big jar, and see it mount up.

Do access whatever support you feel would help. Certainly you will get plenty on here :D

Posted on: December 29, 2009 - 10:07am

hazeleyes

Hi all
So far, so good. Half a ciggie since 8.30 this morning. It is now 2.15. I only buckled because my son was playing me up!!! I could so easily go and have one now, but I know the feeling will pass.
So, did anyone else make resolutions? My son did. To be good, to tidy his things. First day, and his have been broken numerous times already :lol: :lol:
I have taken all the decs down, (mainly to keep busy). Just have to find somewhere to house the new toys etc in son's bedroom. Uhmmm, might bury myself under the duvet instead.
Take care
Alison
x :)

Posted on: January 1, 2010 - 3:18pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hello alisoncam

I was wondering how you were getting on, I know it is not easy. Keep going and think of the good things (like the money!) Keeping busy is definitely a good idea. So does it all look different without the decorations?

I don't usually make resolutions but was very lax about the gym in the run up to Christmas so I suppose my aim is to get back into the routine.

Hope you manage to get an earylish night tonight to make up for the midnight oil last night. My eldest was out all night and the youngest was at a party (with a girl! :oops: ) but he came home in time, thank heavens

Posted on: January 1, 2010 - 5:40pm

hazeleyes

The money is definately keeping me going. :)
My elderly neighbour popped over, (me and son in our pj's). Firstly, he walked in with 2 bottles of wine, then gave me lots of lectures about what my Dad and Mum would think getting into debt with bills, (made me feel so much better, NOT). This man is in his 80's, was best friends with my Dad, who died 22 years ago, and who was very drunk when he visited his afternoon.
I confess I had a ciggie! :x I listened to this man tell me that I am letting myself go, (lounging in pj's), and that i'm in a rut! He then upset my son by saying, 'your Mum used to be able to go out and enjoy herself, and now she can't, because she has you'. At this point, I told my neighbour that he could say what he liked to me, but not to a 7 year old.
He left shortly after, and then I had to explain to my lad that J.... was being silly, and no, I couldn't go out like I used too, but my life was much better with him in it.
I hope everyone else is having a better 1st day of the year than me. Yesterday, BT, today, the neighbour, tomorrow??????

Posted on: January 1, 2010 - 7:10pm

sparklinglime

alisoncam wrote:

The money is definately keeping me going. :)
My elderly neighbour popped over, (me and son in our pj's). Firstly, he walked in with 2 bottles of wine, then gave me lots of lectures about what my Dad and Mum would think getting into debt with bills, (made me feel so much better, NOT). This man is in his 80's, was best friends with my Dad, who died 22 years ago, and who was very drunk when he visited his afternoon.
I confess I had a ciggie! :x I listened to this man tell me that I am letting myself go, (lounging in pj's), and that i'm in a rut! He then upset my son by saying, 'your Mum used to be able to go out and enjoy herself, and now she can't, because she has you'. At this point, I told my neighbour that he could say what he liked to me, but not to a 7 year old.
He left shortly after, and then I had to explain to my lad that J.... was being silly, and no, I couldn't go out like I used too, but my life was much better with him in it.
I hope everyone else is having a better 1st day of the year than me. Yesterday, BT, today, the neighbour, tomorrow??????

Oh my goodness.

How awful for you to have that said to you.

Words fail me here.

xxxx

Posted on: January 1, 2010 - 8:07pm

lindsaygii

C-L : I'm sorry, but your yoga teacher is bonkers. :) Smokers are people who are addicted to nicotine. The way they breathe has got absolutely nothing to do with it!

I 'stopped' twice with hypnotherapy (basically you pay someone to tell you something you know), cold turkey a couple of times, and fairly successfully with an inhalator (you buy them from the chemist, it's a plastic tube you suck on - looks ridiculous). The thing I would most recommend of all, though, is to read Alan Carr's book. here's a link Yeah, it costs nearly six quid, but that's only the price of 20 fags! He's basically just written a book that tells you all the reasons why you don't want to smoke, and by then end -- you don't! :)

As you see, I seem to stop a lot, then keep falling off the wagon. Sometimes years later.. :(

Good luck with it alison. It's really, really hard. I've gone back to Weight Watchers as part of my getting back to fitness project. Being an old mum is a worry - I have to keep up with that boy for another 15 years...

Posted on: January 1, 2010 - 10:18pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Thanks for that link, lindsaygii :-) You're right, it is so, so hard.

Hope you are well and have enjoyed visit to parents etc?

Posted on: January 2, 2010 - 8:50am

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hello alisoncam

I am really shocked :o at what happened with the visitor. How DARE he make those insinuations about you! And totally UNFORGIVEABLE of him to speak to your son like that. he hs no idea of what you have been through and what a fab job you have been doing, in trying cirumstances. I think you should seriously consider not letting him in if he comes round again! You can do without people like that in your life. HUH! :evil:

Chin up, look yourself in the eye in the mirror and be proud of who you are!

Posted on: January 2, 2010 - 8:55am

hazeleyes

Hi Louise and Sparkling
This man certainly doesn't realise how hard it is. I don't shout it from the roof tops, and of course, when people ask how we are, I always answer 'great'. So, if in order to make sure I have enough food on the table, and clothes on my son's back, and to ensure that he had a great Christmas, I stuggle to pay BT, then so be it. (it was their fault in the first place that I'm in this mess). I am proud of how well my son has turned out. I'm proud of how I've pulled myself back from the brink of despair when my Mum died five years ago. Sometimes I know I should stand up for myself more, (speech coming my way from lindsay I fear, haha), but I try my best, and thats all any of us can do.
Now the subject of smoking :evil: I have tried patches in the past, chewing gum etc. Two years ago, I first went on these tablets. I've been prescribed them two or three times, and I know this is my last chance on the NHS. They cost a fortune, and my GP knows I wouldn't be able to afford them, which is why she has given me another course. :) I have got to give it up this time, not only for my health issues, but I want to see my son grow. He, (by the way) is really helping me through it this morning. He rushed in a while ago with a mince pie, smarties, and a bag of crisps. (what a combination) Will have to get out of the habit of eating instead of smoking!! I will look into that book lindsay, thankyou for that. I shall also follow the breathing exercises that Claire-Louise suggests. Every little bit of help goes a long way.
Take care
Alison
x :)

Posted on: January 2, 2010 - 12:49pm

Claire-Louise

Hi Alison
That man sounds like a silly old man who was a bit pissed and did not really know what he was saying and so I would disregard the lot of it. We all know you are a fantastic, consciencious, amazing mum who has been fighting tooth and nail with BT over this issue which was their creation and I am in total awe of your tenacity and good will and humour that comes over in all your posts as well as your total ability to look out for your son and for others around you at all times and offer words of wisdom and kindness.
And on top of all that you are now trying to give up smoking which is a really difficult task, which you are doing for all the right reasons but again taking your son in consideration once again.
I think you are AMAZING and wish you ALL THE BEST in your 'quit'. Take each day as it comes. My parents have constantly smoked and given up all through my childhood and adult years but I am sure you can crack it. You are a determined one. And it sounds like your darling son is on your side and supporting you which is fantastic.
GOOD LUCK! GOOD LUCK!! GOOD LUCK!!
C-L
(And breathe!)

Posted on: January 2, 2010 - 5:50pm

hazeleyes

Hi Claire-Louise
Your post was so beautiful, and I thankyou. It brought tears to my eyes to think that's how you see me!!!! It's absolutely made my day, especially, when i've just been beating myself up over the fact that I've had one ciggie today. Not in one go I might add, puffing, putting it out etc.
It is so hard, even with the help of tablets. I have a list of things I need this year, starting with a settee, double bed, wardrobes, (the list is endless).
My son saw the ad for DFS and announced that 'anyone can go there, and DON'T have to pay until they want too'. Gosh, if only it was that simple eh :lol:
Happy New Year to you and your family C-L. I hope it is a successful and care-free one.
Take care
Alison
x :)

Posted on: January 2, 2010 - 7:09pm

harissa

Happy New Year everyone!

Alison, you might be able to get some of those furniture items off your local Freecycle. This time of year can bring a bumper crop of unwanted settees and wardrobes as people who can afford to buy new, get rid of their old ones.

2010 hasn't got off for a good start with me. I am about to embark on a trade dispute with a shop which sold me a laptop which turned out to be dodgy. In spite of the 3 month warranty, he is refusing to give me my money back even though it looks likely the machine will keep breaking down. Apparently the Consumer Credit Act has changed recently and my credit card company can't step in either. So much for my initial joy at finally having bought an essential bit of kit for my son's school homework!

On a slightly more positive note, the loss of £200 of hard saved money and the laptop it bought shouldn't be the end of my son's chances to be able to do his school work. Our local school has notified me of a new government scheme aimed at children from low-income families, ie-in receipt of free school meals. It is called Home Access and they'll be telling parents more in the next few weeks as it was due to start here in January 2010. Here is a link to info about the scheme in one area of the UK (not mine, so I don't know how different it is):
inhttp://www.ictforeducation.co.uk/English__Home_access_scheme.html

As I feared my health has suffered a major relapse, so it looks like I'm going to find myself back in the seemingly endless loop of GP appointments once again. I am so cross as that WFI back in December triggered a series of heart palpitations and I feel quite physically weak and battered. I'm supposed to be signing up to employment agencies now but I feel too ill to cope, even with running my own home.

This week is the week that I have to get my son to the police station to be dna-ed. My best efforts to get legal advice and help were thwarted by the Xmas and New Year holiday closures. It really seems there is nothing we can do to fight it, even though the subject is very much hot news at the moment and was covered on a Radio 4 program last week and the DM today:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1240136/DNA-Now-s-police-s-secret-enemy.html

The central heating system got fixed only to play up again just 2 weeks later. This will entail me having to wait in for whole days at a time for the repair men to come out, as has been the case since the system was installed in 2006. It has never worked properly.

I've managed to make an uneasy truce with the washing machine by plugging it into its own circuit breaker to prevent it taking out the electrics on half of the house which it does if I plug it directly into a wall socket. At least it works but I daren't leave it unattended.

And I'd so hoped that 2010 would be a better year, especially as life has been a total pig for the last run of years. Oh dear!

Posted on: January 3, 2010 - 1:31pm

Claire-Louise

Hi There Alison - I am glad I helped cheer you up and I am pretty sure the others on here would agree with the way I see you (the way you really are!). Harissa is right that Freecycle is definitely worth a look. I am slightly addicted to my local freecycle and have got the following from it:
sofa, curtain pole, fan, books and toys, kitchen work surface, sink, clothes for children fancy dress and normal, brand new futon in box! solid wooden coffee table, desk, electric organ and stool, DVD players, freeview box, wardrobe etc etc. It is worth joining and then you can get the adverts grouped so you get 25 ads in one email and then it doesn't block up your email system. I think it is great!

Hi There Harissa
I am sorry to here about you recent misfortunes. Have you ben in touch with Trading Standards about the faulty laptop? Otherwise is it worth trying to get in touch with the company who makes the laptop rather than the store you bought it from?
The Home Access scheme should be really good ofr those on low income and comes into play in most areas from January. There is more about it on http://www.becta.org.uk
The idea is that the government want every household to be able to have access to a computer so worth keeping and eye on and keep askng via your schools.
I hope the DNA session with your son does not prove to bee too traumatic. I saw a bit about it on the news recently where they said that depending on where you live in the country it can be easy to get names taken off the list after certain time periods and then in other areas it can be really difficult to get your name removed so you could ask them about this when you are there perhaps.
As for your health - is there anyone you can speak to about this? Have you been back to your GP? If it is affecting your ability to cope with running your house etc then it sounds like you need some support.
As for things going wrong in the house - they always seem to come together these things so I really feel for you. It sounds that you have found a some what temporary solution for the washing machine which is good - just keep an eye on it.
Good luck for 2010. Keep smiling love C-L

Posted on: January 3, 2010 - 4:46pm

sparklinglime

Oh heck, harissa. That's not a good start is it.

In my books, it's Sunday. I'm trying not to dwell on the new year thing!

I've added all the birthdays to my free calander from the old one in pink ink :D That's as focused on the new year I'm trying to be.

I really do hope that positive things follow though. Life's so hard when you're bashing your head on walls all the time.

Posted on: January 3, 2010 - 6:34pm

hazeleyes

Hi all
As a little reward for not smoking, I have treated myself to a new mouse, £1.99, (real cheap one eh). Seems really wierd, (and nasty cheap, haha). Not had a single puff since yesterday lunch time. Doing really well I think, and my son is helping me loads. Bought some hard boiled sweets too this morning!
Paid the nasty BT £30 too, so will wait and see if they let me have incoming calls now. Won't hold my breath though. That doesn't make any sense as to why they cut that, as I wasn't making any, so I guess they were just being vindictive. Uhmmmm.
Take care all
Alison
x :)

Posted on: January 4, 2010 - 12:44pm

lindsaygii

One of the great things about Alan Carr's book is you have to keep smoking till you've finished it. No, really!

Alison, I'm certainly not going to lecture you about being tougher on yourself - after your year?! Nah, I'm amazed you're even considering trying to stop smoking on top of everything else. :) You're one of the most inspirational posters on here to my mind, and if you can also pack in the fags I'll be extremely impressed. And may even try to get a grip on my current backsliding... :(

Posted on: January 4, 2010 - 8:11pm

hazeleyes

Hi lindsay
Doing really well with the cigs.The tablets are really helping, more so this time round I think. You build up for two weeks on them, and set yourself a dead line, (mine was New Years Day). Another 12 weeks on the tablets, and in that time, I should in fact be off for good! Don't even want to know what happens when I'm off them, what will I rely on then????? I actually think I'm going to buy the book too, so thanks for that title :)
My son is giving up biting his nails, so I've told him, if we both can do these things for two months, then we shall both get a special present. He has asked for a WII!!!!! (don't think so somehow, bill first).
When did you last smoke? Are you stopping and starting, or given up for good?
Think I might need to take up knitting, to keep my hands occupied. On second thoughts, last time I knitted something, I was pregnant, and thought I would knit a hat for my son. Looked more like a blinking tea-cosy :lol: :lol: :lol:
Hope everything is ok with you and your little boy. I love the stage that he is at now. Fascinated by every little thing around him.
Take care, keep warm
Alison
x :)

Posted on: January 5, 2010 - 12:52pm

sparklinglime

Hi Alison

Knitting sounds like a good idea - you could build up a supply for Christmas gifts and give them to the school for raffle prizes...

I'm very proud of you and C for doing this.

xxx

Posted on: January 5, 2010 - 9:43pm

hazeleyes

Ahhhh, thankyou Sparkling. These comments are certainly spurring me on. :) :)
I told C..... a story over christmas about my sister having lumps on her fingers when we were much smaller, because she bit her nails. (I tell him different stories all the time, and normally make them up a bit as I go along). Anyhow, a few nights later, I was checking his nails, and gasped loudly. I pretended that I could feel the LUMPS. He was horrified, and felt himself. Yes, he had them!!!!!! To be honest, at this point I felt quite guilty as he was mortified, but the trick worked, and that's how this nail biting business has stopped, so the guilt didn't stay with me long. :lol:
However, yesterday he came out of school, and announced that his friend had the LUMPS :o She too bites her nails, and he was checking them for her. (The whole class knows about our deal) This poor little girl probably went home quite worried. I have visions of the teacher calling me in today :lol: :lol:

Posted on: January 6, 2010 - 7:48am

sparklinglime

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Posted on: January 6, 2010 - 8:10am

Claire-Louise

Hi Alison
Welldone you, sounds like the giving up cigs is going really well. Good luck for you and your son with his nail biting! Good story - it will have got round the whole school before long!
C-L

Posted on: January 8, 2010 - 4:42pm

lindsaygii

I've stopped (not allowed to call it 'giving up' - Alan Carr! :) loads of times. Currently I'm not smoking, in theory, but now and then buying ten and smoking one or two in the garden before going to bed, then throwing away the rest of the ten... :( Rubbish, really. I think I like it while I'm doing it, but actually they make my head hurt in the morning. Dur.

Keep at it. One thing I do love about not smoking is going past pubs, or offices, or whatever, in the cold, or rain, and looking at that sad little bunch of desperados out there, freezing, getting their fix in -- and knowing I'm not in that gang anymore. So much better when you can just sit and enjoy whatever you're doing without a fag!

Posted on: January 8, 2010 - 9:22pm

Claire-Louise

Good for you lindsaygii, that makes tow of you so hopefully you can support each other as you go through this process. There seem to be tonnes of adverts on TV at the moment about quitting - do you have your free 'quit kit'? Not sure what that is exactly but that is what is advertised on TV and I love anything free so my ears pricked up at the sound of it.
How are you doing today?
Remember to breathe!!!! I know you didn't agree with my yoga teacher on this one. Of course you are right that the nicoteen is the adictive element to smoking which is very strong but I think there is some truth to why people start smoking in the first place is that they are getting stressed and not breathing fully and then when you inhale on a cig, you do breathe in very fully and out again which is really relaxing and if you did a full in breath and out breath without filling your lungs with all the chemicals from the cig, it would be really good for you and that is probably what your body needs at that stressful time - a full in breath. Does that make any more sense or not?
Anyway if the Alan Carr method works for you then that is great and keep it up.
My new years resolution is to spen more 'special time' with my children. I did it on Friday after school and they really enjoyed it so I will try to build it into the daily routine, after school each day and see how it goes.
Cheers C-L

Posted on: January 9, 2010 - 4:25pm

sparklinglime

That's a nice one Claire-Louise.

Now my lot are older, they don't really want to spend time with me, but we did loads when they were younger - and how precious those times were.

Think I'm on an emotional spiral this afternoon!

Posted on: January 9, 2010 - 5:55pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hi sparkling lime,

your post really struck a chord with me and set me thinking about how things change and how hard it can be, as parents when the children get older and don't seem to want the "special time" with us. I don't know if you agree with this but with teenagers it seems to be our availability they crave. In other words it is being there hovering in the background they value. What are your thoughts on this?

My friend's daughter threw a big wobbler at the age of 15 and said that her mother was always out, that they didn't spend quality time together and "it's not fair". My friend guiltily cancelled all her arrangements for the follwing week.......and the daughter went out every night ;)

The consolation is that eventually they change back again. My 20 year old loves our lunches and little chats.

Posted on: January 10, 2010 - 8:54am

sparklinglime

Louise wrote:

Hi sparkling lime,

your post really struck a chord with me and set me thinking about how things change and how hard it can be, as parents when the children get older and don't seem to want the "special time" with us. I don't know if you agree with this but with teenagers it seems to be our availability they crave. In other words it is being there hovering in the background they value. What are your thoughts on this?

My friend's daughter threw a big wobbler at the age of 15 and said that her mother was always out, that they didn't spend quality time together and "it's not fair". My friend guiltily cancelled all her arrangements for the follwing week.......and the daughter went out every night ;)

The consolation is that eventually they change back again. My 20 year old loves our lunches and little chats.

That's a very good way of putting it, actually, as in our availability. They know we're there for them too - even if they're not aware of it!!

It's this urge I have to go for a drive into the mountains - which we did regularly in the winter. We'd go up to the car park up Snowdon and build a snowman and have snowball fights (rarely enough snow on the island). Two years ago was the last time we did this. I can't justify fuel costs going alone! :lol:

Posted on: January 10, 2010 - 12:44pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Aha, I get the same feeling about films, when you have a little one you can say you are watching 101 Dalmatians with them I will never forget how much I enjoyed Power Rangers the Movie at the cinema, had been dreading it but was gripped.

Which romantic movies have you watched over the festive season, sparkling lime? I watched Now Voyager :cry: It was lovely.

Posted on: January 10, 2010 - 1:40pm

sparklinglime

I can't even remember what films I watched now! Christmas seems to have become a distant memory - already. I was watching the christmas 24 movie channel a lot of the time. They seemed to be mostly romantic or Santa looking for Mrs Santa :D

Eldest is on such a downer again today. Gets me low too.

Ah well. I've been reading my OU book all day. Start the next essay tomorrow. I'll see what mark I get in this one and then decide what to do.

Back to yelling in the morning again **sigh**

Posted on: January 11, 2010 - 12:20am

shortie2

Oft i dont believe in new year resoltuions. I dont see the point as folk usually break them within a few days. Although i should probably stick in what ave been doing for almost 6 years look for a new job.....

Posted on: January 11, 2010 - 9:25pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

hello sparkling

Hope the school preparations go well this morning. And did I hear that "E" word hoving into view (whispers........essay :o )?

Posted on: January 12, 2010 - 7:59am

Claire-Louise

Hi Sparklinglime
Good luck with the essay and good luck with the teenager behaviour. It is a really hard age to deal with and I really feel for you. i dread those teenage years and have done ever since my first was born. I don't think there is an easy answer but I think what Louise said about 'availability' makes a lot of sense. A couple of other things I can think of are drawing up contracts for you and for them with a list of 5 things you ant them to do and 5 things they want you to do (which you have to agree on) and then you each have to stick to your side of the contract despite what the other does. If it turns out they don't do their side of things then you re-asses after a set period of a week. Alternatively you could hold family meetings on a regular basis where you each get to talk about issues that are affecting you. It is a fine line between them wanting to be treated as adults and them taking the responsibilities that adults have to take - they like to have the first bit without the second and life is just not like that.
The difficult bit is not letting their mood totally affect yours but I did think that is where a family meting might be helpful to explain that is what happens because the other bit of being a teenager is the ability to only really see things from their poin of view - very much like a 2 year old in fact!
good luck with it
C-L

Posted on: January 13, 2010 - 8:45pm

hazeleyes

Last cig yesterday morning at 9.30. Really craved one last night, but resisted. (again, it was because my son was playing me up)! Wanted one this morning, but grabbed a sweet instead. Feeling proud of myself this morning. Hope I can keep it up :)

Posted on: January 14, 2010 - 11:08am

Louise

Parenting specialist

Wow I am really proud of you too, alisoncam :D it is sooooooo hard. Keep up the good work and think of all that lovely MONEY!

Posted on: January 14, 2010 - 5:19pm

hazeleyes

Still going strong here. Yes Louise, I keep thinking of the money, and what I can do with it (once bills are finally settled). Might be using most of it for a while on sweets, but hey, what do I care.
Saw your post about how to get off the phone, and I like the idea. Will let you know when I've done and tried it!!!
Go careful
Alison
x :)

Posted on: January 14, 2010 - 6:02pm

hazeleyes

Still no cigs, not even a puff. Not since Wednesday morning.
Was behind someone this morning who was smoking, and the smell of it wafting behind me was, (I have to say it, HEAVEN). It soon passed though :)
My neighbours smoke roll ups, and I've been in there this week with shopping etc, and that smell hasn't bothered me, when they've lit up.
I'm now on a big tester, a glass of wine without a cig. Only had a few mouthfuls, but so far so good. Sweets and wine, not a great mix, but what the heck.
:) :) :)

Posted on: January 15, 2010 - 6:31pm

hazeleyes

Well........ After two glasses of wine.........
I still didn't have a cig. Oh god, I so wanted one, and knew even if I had another sip, I would cave in, so I made a cup of tea, and dunked some biscuits instead. Cannot believe I'm being so strong and not giving in. Next test of course is the weekend with son. :lol: :lol:
Hope you are all ok.
Take care
Alison
x :)

Posted on: January 15, 2010 - 10:04pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Wow so many hurdles, alisoncam, I thin k you are doing so well, you are amazing!!!!!!!! The thing about the smell being heaven, gosh yes I remember that but I promise you that eventually you will hate the smell if you stay cig-free long enough.

Keep on keeping on ;)

Posted on: January 16, 2010 - 7:20am

sparklinglime

Alison, you're doing fantastically well!!

xxx

Posted on: January 16, 2010 - 6:31pm

Claire-Louise

Wow Alison
You are really testing yourself, standing behind people who are smoking, delivery shopping to smokers and having wine and you have resisted all of your temptations so WELL DONE!!!!!
On the TV advert is says the first week is the hardest so you are doing great guns. Do you know about this free quit kit you can get hold of? There is info about it here:
http://smokefree.nhs.uk/quit-tools/quit-kit/?WT.mc_id=search&gclid=CKTYqIe6qZ8CFRGX2Aodgxnk1Q
Is that of any use or interest to you or are you beyond that stage already?
keep up the resistance and you will be such a strong and healthy person at then end of it!
Love C-L

Posted on: January 16, 2010 - 6:42pm

hazeleyes

Hi all
Claire-Louise, thankyou for that link, have just ordered it. Anything free is worth looking into :)
Actually my son keeps seeing it on the TV and told me to get it, but I didn't think it was worth it, now I have started on the tablets. Looking at the link, it looks good and full of info, so I went for it.
Have to say I slipped today, had few puffs at about 4.30 and then finished it at 5.30. Shame on me!!!!!! (Ok, keep feet to yourselves, I have kicked myself several times already).
It actually tasted vile, so why did I go back for the rest?????
This might sound completely off the wall, but, bear with me here folks: This week I have been taking sleeping tablets, so have felt more able to deal with things, having got good sleep. Only have two tabs left, so thought I would miss last night, (I prefer to get more sleep when I have to get up for school). Anyhow, I tossed and turned all night, so have been quite irritable today, on edge etc. Could be I'm making excuses here, but I'm putting the lapse today down to not a lot of sleep. Is this possible do you think?
Louise, how long did it take you to conquer it? How long ago did you give up?
Sparkling, change of subject here. Well done for doing the essay. Wishing you luck on that. I'm sure you've done really well.
Treated ourselves to 2 lotto tickets, but got zilch.
Take care all, and thankyou again for all your encouragement.
Alison
x :)

Posted on: January 16, 2010 - 9:18pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hello alisoncam

Oh well I didn't need my imaginary glasses after all, you are doing really well. I definitely think that as lack of sleep will make you feel wretched, it is normal to turn to a usual prop (ie cigarettes) to get you through the day.

I first gave up years ago when I wanted to have children. I did it on a holiday (a coach trip rather like that one on the TV :lol: ) so I was out of my normal surroundings and no=one on the trip knew me as a smoker. It was dead easy. Fast forward many years past my divorce and getting involved in a new traumatic and emotionally abusive relationship when I found out I was being cheated on, I took it up again, almost as a final punishment to complete my misery. I eventually gave up six years ago after attempts to cut down etc. Nicotine is so addictive, that's the problem. What worked for me was seeing the GP practice nurse regularly, using those "puffer" substitutes for a while but then nicotine gum for a long time. What seems to help a lot of people is they identify trigger times such as after a meal (or after a stressful phone call, alisoncam! ;) ) and find a different thing to do at those times, such as a walk round the block.

As for looking after yourself, I really am going to have to get my glasses out and ask you to think seriously about having a chat with your GP if you still feel low next week, and in any case if you have only got a couple of sleeping pills left.

You're doing brilliantly with the cigs, I am very proud of you!!!!!

Posted on: January 17, 2010 - 10:05am

Claire-Louise

Hi Alison
I thinkl ack of sleepis a real torture - well they use it as a torture techique so it must be! I did not sleep well last night either and felt in a real bad mood today. Somehow once you have had a good nights sleep and then sleep badly, you notice it even more. I am areal light sleeper and found it all pretty hard going when then children were younger as I always felt I was keeping an ear out for them and then they would finally wake in the night once I had fallen into quite a deep sleep and I would be quite moody waking from that.
I have really got into camomile tea or sleepeasy tea (from tesco) and take that up to bed with me and I sleep so much better. I used to take herbal sleeping tablets but have found these teas much more effective. My mum commented on the sleepeasy tea too and how good it was. So I would really recommend them.
In terms of the smoking though they say on tv the first week is the worst but i do think it is goo to have alternative things round the house to snack on. the trick is to try to have as healthy alternatives as possible. I don't have first hand experience of it but I have spent years watching my parents going through stopping and starting smoking and they always got annoyed at putting on weight when they gave up. I wondered about carrot sticks or cucumber sticks or chopped up apple on hand for when you feel like reaching for something. It may sound odd but it is about changing habits and getting used to something else, you have come so far already that it would be great if you could carry on successfully.
I hope the quit kit is useful and Louise's suggestions about identifying what syour triggers are so you know to be aware of them and watch out for them and be prepared for them in advance.
Keep it up.
Cheers C-L

Posted on: January 17, 2010 - 4:43pm

shortie2

May of went passed it and missed it but how long is that you stopped smoking alisoncam?? your doing great...

Posted on: January 19, 2010 - 9:47pm