It is wonky, it seems, and not in my head.
I have a degenerative hip condition. There is severe damage to my left hip, and while the ball and socket seem ok there are bits of bone 'floating' in between, causing my leg to lock.
I'm being referred to a consultant. I've asked for an appointment during term time.
He doesn't think it's actually weight related!
I've lost a stone since the end of June - shows Slimfast and starvation work!
I'm in shock, at the moment.
I've cried,and then I just stare out the window...
Hi sparklinglime
That is good news that they have recognised that it is a degenerative hip condition and also good that you have been referred to a consultant.
Please try and look on the bright side, hopefully they will be able to operate and you will be using your sparkly mountain boots this time next year.
I know it is daunting, but it is also a passport to your future, it has been so dehabilitating for you.
Do you think it has been a shock as you didn't really think it was anything medical??
Gosh, yes. The GP had been so dissmissive, and with me having locked up with stress when I was homeless, I'd assumed it was something along those lines again.
It means the driving instructor thing has a reason to be on hold - if ever, now.
I truly thought it wasn't medical. Still a bit numb - yet I'm guessing it's going to take years to be seen.
Yep, thank goodness for windows, mousie.
Hi Sparklinglime
I am sure my sister had a 'floating bone'. She had hip replacements. Really sorry to hear your news, but something can be done. I'm sure you won't have to wait that long. The saying 'it never rains but it pours' is so right isn't it, but you're so strong, and even though this is a shock, you will pull through.
Close those curtains, have yourself a cuppa, and try not to worry.
Take care
Alison
x :)
A t school I remember staring out of the window day dreaming...
Hay! that was always mentioned in my school reports.
My neighbour has been called in to say there's a cancellation for her hip replacement. There we were joking this morning saying she needs to be better quick to help me! Next thing a phone call for her to go in tomorrow afternoong.
Just been driving her about so she could drop off bits of paperwork for an AGM she'll be missing.
I've told the children. They know I'm not going mad now...
Your not rambling, and thank you very much for the link.
I think the biggest shock is realising that it's not all in head!
Having been going to pre-surgery meetings with my neighbour and helping her sort things out, it's so funny to think it might be happening to me next!
GP is up front saying he's not an expert with this, but thinks it may be possible to remove the debris as they do with knees.
The thought terrifies me, but I do miss being able to do stairs!
Thanks bourne.
Hi Sparkling
I hope you are having a better day today, now the initial shock has sunk in.
Have a good afternoon
Take care
Alison
x :)
Thank you.
It's got my brother and sister thinking too. My brother has been having hip pain and he's now going to get it investigated. Our mother had something like this, but it was her knee joints that crumbled.
My neighbour has left for her hip replacement...
Hi Sparkling
I think I sort of know how you're feeling. In 2005, I was diagnosed with osteoporosis of the spine, and osteopena of the hips. My older sister has osteopena of the hips, and has had 2 hip replacements. I do try and watch my weight, and touch wood, I don't suffer with pain too much. I also had an accident 2 years ago, I was swinging my son around in the garden, and fell awkwardly on my foot. Nothing showed up on the xray, and weeks down the line, I was still on crutches. My GP referred me to a consultant (appointment came 4 months later). I have had endless MRI, radioactive xray, and after numerous visits, have been told it is stress fracture. I am able to walk on it, but it swells and is painful. They first thought the accident might have worsened the osteoporosis, but another MRI has ruled that out.
The joys of getting older eh? I WANT TO BE TWENTY ONE AGAIN). On second thoughts, nooooo. I wouldn't have my gorgeous son if that was the case!!!!
Hope your neighbours op goes ok.
Alison
x :)
I've not minded getting older - but not too pleased about this.
I have always been heavy - even when I don't look too bad, I'm heavy. I've always taken a lot of calcium and I used to do high impact sports to try and strengthen bones!
I'm sorry you have this to deal with. I used to walk for miles, and I miss that.
I need to wait to hear from the specialist now. My neighbour is in today having a new hip. She's 70 and had got to the point where she could barely walk. One year and 11 months to get to that point.
I'm 47 now.
I need a new business idea. I hate admin, but I think it's going to have to be that. It isn't going to build up to £30+k a year though to get my lot in their chosen careers.
Still in a daze. Was easier to deal with thinking it was all in my head.
I know I'm not dying. Like I said to the GP, otherwise I'm healthy, despite my size. I eat pretty healthily.
Another challenge. Just don't want to be waiting many months just to find out that possibly things won't be possible...
Snap Sparkling
I am that age too, but sadly in a few days will get to the next number!!!!
Do you have anything planned?
I did have plans this year and they went out the window! Next year, I think they'll all be at summer camp...
Hi Sparkling
Nothing planned. It is on Sunday, so for my friends, it is their family day. My son (7) always buys me something, (my money of course) :lol: :lol: . Last week he said that if he told me what he would buy me, would my mind forget he had told me. Then he proceeded to say that it was the magazine, 'Take A Break'. He knows I treat myself to it to read and relax in the bath. Bless his darling little heart!! Might get some maltesers if I'm really lucky too. :lol:
Hope you get your wine soon, you deserve it.
My son wants to go to bed and it's only 7.30. They must be working him hard this week, arrhhhhhhhhh.
Take care
Alison
x :)
My lot made me birthday cards, which I just love!
Take care
Spoke to my friend this evening, who's fiance is going to teach me. Told her how things are, and all is on hold until I see the specialist.
I need to get my thinking hat on.
Haha! I'd even started to fill the career development loan form...
You have had a run of things recently haven't you sparkling.
I hope that this week you will just give yourself some time for you. Forget the future, work, hospital appointments, exams, college courses etc etc, (phew I feel giddy just listing them all!)
When we are at peace, the answers will come...How is today for you?
I seem to be angry today. Four year and three months ago, I was walking for miles and running up (a struggle with my knee) and down sandhills with my children.
It's a shame GPs don't actually take large people seriously. Who knows, if my GP hadn't been so nasty with me back then (she told me I was disgusting having put weight on - and that was after I'd lost about three stone), things could have been investigated and I wouldn't be building stupid unrealistic dreams.
I feel totally useless today. I just thought I'd found a way to make a good living for my children. Now it's no future for me...
But it's sunny. I have my elderberry cordial and sparkling water (know it's no good for me, but needed a treat). I have the back door open and it's peaceful.
I need to be inspired.
And worrying. IF I do go into hospital, who the heck is going to help with the children? As horrid as it sounds, what if I need help? Who helps me?
Sorry. All woe is me! Nothing new there then... :D
Hi sparklingelderberry!!! Tee hee!
But it's sunny. I have my elderberry cordial and sparkling water (know it's no good for me, but needed a treat). I have the back door open and it's peaceful.
This sounds wonderful and exactly what you need right now. Please enjoy, I wish I could join you :)
It is a shame that GPs don't listen to us, whether it is regarding ourselves or our children. More often than not our intuition is usually right.
Please do not say... Now its no future for me.... I will send Benefit Busters to your door.
You are sooo capable of sooo many things, please do not think is the end of the line. It is just a change of direction for you right now.
Inspiration will come, just give yourself a bit of a break right now.
When the time comes for you to go to the hospital then your ex husband (or maybe his wife) can help with the children. it will all come together, it always does. Trust in the process.
Think I might have my lunch in the garden in this stunning weather!
I won't involve him. I just can't. He'd make me feel indebted forever.
I need inspiration so that I have a good income :D I want to be rich, yet feel earning it is the way forward and not living in hope that my premium bonds will win!
My neck has been making awful cracking noises the last few weeks...
Hopefully the peace will inspire. Told my sister, and she basically said oh dear and spoke about her cats :roll: Why expected a bit of sympathy, I have no idea!
Seeing I can't get my favoured lime cordial, maybe I should change my name!!! :D I think sparklingelderberry is very original
Hi Sparkling
Lots of hugs for you. I hope this evening you are feeling slightly better. I would have been furious with the GP. They can be so b....... rude.
As Anna says, when the time comes, there will be someone to look after the kids, and you of course. There has to be some support out there. This is going to sound daft after your post, but what about your sister?
Enjoy your evening with your kids. Tomorrow is another day, or as a friend always says, same sh...., just another day.
Take care, am thinking of you
Alison
x :)
Hello sparkling lime
I have got back from my holidays to find what has happened to you. WOW! Mixed feelings there...on the one hand how wonderful to get a proper diagnosis, on the other hand how upsetting to think "there is something wrong". I can remember feelings of shock and indignation when I have had health things go wrong in the past, a feeling of "how COULD my body let me down?" I guess it may help to remember that when there's a diagnosis there's a good chance of a cure....and your dream can still be realised, or maybe you will change your dream a bit? The main thing is to have the treatment and get as well as you can.
Sending you lots of strength
Louise :)
Thanks Louise
I'm thinking of my mum and how badly disabled she got. Her knee joints crumbled and her feet were badly affected so she could barely walk.
My friend has remembered that I'm with the WHA - while I do remember about it with glasses and dentist, I never thought of this. They'll pay up to £200 to see a specialist. So perhaps that could by-pass months of waiting.
I don't quite know what to think really, and for now, really there's no point thinking...
I need them.
Hi Sparkling
Open your wine tonight, enjoy. You so deserve it. Hope you're feeling bit more positive today.
Take care, hugs from me too
Alison
x :)
Thank you.
I'm sorry for being pathetic.
I think I've almost persuaded the children to go to the beach. It's glorious, and there's a nice bench that I can get to to sit on. My mum would sit and watch us on the beach. I know I can't manage the sand at the mo.
I must resist an ice cream though!
Hi Sparkling
The beach? How wonderful! Wish I lived near the beach, wish the weather was glorious here!!! One minute sunshine, the next looks like rain. Go and enjoy the afternoon watching the kids play. You are not pathetic, you are just on a downer, and you have good reason to be.
Have an ice-cream for me. I'm green with envy right now :mrgreen:
Take care
Alison
x
Thank you.
We didn't get to the beach - and I didn't open the wine :D . I wonder if I can auction these bottles off in an antiques fair one day. My son with special needs has now decided that Hornby is every thing and wanted to sort through that. If he won't go, then we can't go... Not as bad as it sounds, as we did do other things in the sun by the house.
Trying to persuade a child to carry the teeny lawn mower out the back door for me so I can mow the weeds! Mainly crazy paving here, with what were once flower beds. They'd been abandoned for many years as the previous tennant - a lovely gentleman - had been poorly for many years. The soil has turned into clay and I just can't dig it. I'm going to ask the gardener who helps my neighbour to start coming here. I used to love gardening
You're very kind in what you say Bourne, I feel weak as it takes more effort to do things each time... See? Whinging again.
I hope the sun is shining for you all, and that we finally get to enjoy a bit of summer.
....and you will get so you love gardening again, sparkling. I know everything is a mega-effort just now, just think of yourself as temporarily incapacitated, you wouldn't be able to do all your normal things if your leg was in pot, for example. It will do the kids good to do some of the jobs :D
I hesitate to mention the wine, in case Pansy is listening (heh heh) , but it is certainly getting to be a vintage bottle!
I got them to agree to an hour.
My daughter mowed (it's a mower someone gave to us. I used to have a brilliant petrol one, but gave it to the woman who helped me with the holiday house when we were homeless - mostly paths here), I swept and so did the 13 year old. The 10 year old was with a knife pulling out the grass from between the slaps (about a million more slabs to go). I managed to prune some brambles back to knee height :roll: , and then 13 year old had to clean out the guinea pigs.
It doesn't actually look much better :lol: Wonder if lawn mowers are in the sale yet. :D
Thank you again for your encouragment.
I can't quite decide if the pain was like this before. It makes me cry at the mo - but I think it's still the anger. I saw the woman GP I first saw four years ago in Aldi. I know she was watching me through her sunglasses, being critical, no doubt. Part of me hope that I will be able to go up to her and tell her she let my children down big-time by not listening to me.
Is it wrong to feel that way?
Gosh I so know where you are coming from....When I was 17 I went to the doctor and and one of my symptoms I was presenting with was having put on weight, other symptoms as well and she said there is nothing wrong with you and I said Ok if I am not ill I would like some support for losing weight, she said "Eat less. The inmates of Belsen were not overweight" How do you like that for a sympathetic GP to a teenage girl? My Mum put in a complaint but it was not taken further. I then went to Uni and the Uni doctor immedately diagnosed a severely underactive thyroid that had got worse in the meantime. I am still angry with that doctor :x
HOWEVER, (you knew there was going to be a "however", didn't you? ;) ) actually it will not do you any good to be eaten up by resentment and the main thing is to look after yourself and look to the future. Your pain could indeed be worse because of all the upset, especially if you are tense.
You did really well in the garden. Have a look at this link for killing off grass and weeds. http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_a_good_homemade_weed_killer
Hope your Sunday will be nice, sparkling lime :D
The tiles in the bathroom keep falling off the wall. I've spent a fortune trying to replace them - 4" ones, so a special order each time. I had to match the tiles too when I had the shower put in over the bath three and a half years ago.
Because I've spoken to the housing association about the tiles, and the fact the bath isn't fixed to the wall (water was going to the kitchen below until I parcel taped a shower curtain around the bath), they sent someone round the other day. The plan is to replace all the bathrooms next year anyway, so they said they'd replace this one now.
So I explained about wonky leg, and asked if it would be possible for me to have a shower (I know a plumber, so could possibly get it done cost). Not allowed, it seems, unless approved by Care and Repair (they were very nice).
Just phoned social services. All of a sudden I'm going to be assessed. They're sending a blue badge application and going to sort out chair raisers as I can't get out of the armchair in the living room.
So why am I in floods of tears? I can't get in the bath. I'm clean - ways around that 8-) , just thought I could have done things quietly.
My life. Honestly, I focus in the laughter as much as I can. But at times I just feel it's one long nightmare. I'm terrified and panicking at what the future holds.
Hi Sparkling
It is good you will be assessed. I'm sure you will get everything possible to help you. Social could also arrange to have shower fitted. I'm not sure how bad you are, but if you consider having a stairchair, you might have to get on the waiting list now. I remember my mum asking the social for one, and she was told it was a two year wait!!!!!!!! In the end, she bought herself. If not, she would never have left her bedroom!
Go for everything you can get girl. Even a pick-up stick if necessary.
Keep smiling, and keep your spirits up. Its hard, but you are lovely. :)
Loads of hugs for you
Alison
x :)
I have pick up sticks :D I love my pick up sticks - upstairs and down!
My friend put a hand rail going up the stairs when I first came here. GP wouldn't agree to me having any help. He put a grab rail in the downstairs loo too - both a godsend.
I even have a foldy up one in the bag I take to Scouts.
I was a lot worse really when I moved in here. Walking down from the car was horrendous, holding onto walls... Awful. But I could still get into the bath. Now my leg locks trying to step over the weather board going into the garden. This estate has so many steps!
I think I should buy a lotto ticket. Might be able to go private and sort it out sooner than two years down the line.
Thanks Alison. I'm ok again now.
I made my neighbour jacket potaote and beans for tea - it's what she fancied, so we're all having jacket potatoes!
Wow sparkling lime, I bet you couldn't believe it when they suddenly said they would send someone round. Let's hope you get some help! I know there will be mixed feelngs there, likethe time when you read the medical report on your son, but don't forget this is only temporary till they have a look at surgery etc and let's face it, it would be a boon to get a blue badge and be able to park near where you need to go, not to mention whether there might be some DLA on the horizon for while.
Take care :)
Hi sparklinglime
I think we need to look at the positives here, I got quite excited for you, although by the end of your post, it all seems to be getting on top of you.
It is good that you will get a new bathroom and hopefully the blue badge team will suggest other helpful additions to your home.
I hope you are feeling better about everything this week??
How are you this morning, sparkling lime?
I'm fine. :)
I'm with my neighbour more than here. Should be revising, but I find I can't. Each cup of tea seems to take an hour :D I don't mind really - you know me and avoidance. She's lovely, and we are having a laugh - it's not a chore, just could do with time here to do things too.
Today I don't think my leg has unlocked at all. Just cried when I got to the car to go shopping - and no choice but to go. Must have taken almost 10 minutes to get to the car, and that was with crutches. Was ok when we came home, and I walked from the car carrying the crutches!! :lol: :lol: So it did unlock at least once.
What can you do? I have no answers. :roll:
Need to see if I can make it up the stairs now. Paracetamol should take the edge of it, I hope 8-) Gawd, I moan.
Have had a letter from the social services to say I'm now on their list to be assessed. That could be a while. Having been like this since February now, and leg locking more than unlocking, I really hope it won't be too long before they call.
Oh sparkling lime that sounds awful for you, and possibly getting worse? :( I am glad you have your neighbour, I know you enjoy helping and supporting others and hopefully this will be distracting you a bit from the pain (as well as distracting you from revision :lol: )
Hope you had a reasonable night's sleep
Hi Sparlinglime
maybe its good its real and not in your head cos surely if they know what it is they can now get it sorted!! I don't really know anything about medical stuff but my friend had to have 2 new knees and she is a different woman now! Sending u a big hug!!