How Do I Answer This???????
My son (7) has just asked. 'Are you sure T.... is my dad? 'Yes, I said, why?'. 'Does he only have one ball then?' Got into a long thing about all that!!! I had already explained to him that men give something called seeds, and then ladies can have babies.
Anyhow, just out of the blue, he asks other questions. 'Is my Dads ball flat then? 'No of course not, why do you ask that?'. 'Well, if the seed is out, shouldn't the ball be flat'.
Oh my god, oh my god, I am trying so hard to answer these questions.
Sadsy, help, :lol:
Got round it tonight, his bedtime, think more of this tomorrow. :)
I get bizarre moments with mine too : )
My daughter told me this evening at the dinner table that I should get a gold fish!!!
When I asked why, it was explained to me that there was an extra chair at the table and because I don't have a girl friend I should get a gold fish, put it in a bowl and place it on the table in front of the spare chair..
?
where did that come from!
:lol:
Bubblegum, that is sooooooo cute. I love the things kids come out with, and they are so serious!!! :)
Hi all
Have decided to invest in a book about the whys and wherefores! My son doesn't have any male figures in his life, so I guess its down to me then. I did pick a little booklet up from the hospital a while ago, but I think that is a bit advanced for a 7 year old.
I remember before the summer hols, he came home from school, and told me that a year 3 boy had asked him if he was gay. I said, 'oh that's nice, asking if you're happy', and he replied, 'no, he didn't mean that gay, he meant the other one'. To say I was gobsmacked is an understatement, but I explained what gay meant, and he was satisfied. I find it unbelievable some things that are said in the playground at such a young age, but another Mum said that things will get said, especially if the child has older siblings. I guess thats true of course.
:)
I remember being told to just answer with the minumum information that satisfies them, and as simple as possible. Whether I've got away with this or not, I've no idea! Time will tell...
My eldest went camping over the weekend and I was suggesting things that he needed to take (blue pillow being the most important one :roll: ), toothpaste (yes), toothbrush (yes -yeah, right!), deodrant (yes), condoms (uh? What? No, um no, I won't be needing them!), fleece (yes)...
I do like getting them in a tizz. :D
They do ask questions though, which I think is good.
Sorry, totally gone off topic here.
Sparkling
You are such a tease, but I love it. :lol: Embarrassing your child like that, it's GREAT, :)
I have brought up two boys on my own and it has really really helped to be as open and frank with them as possible. Good idea to get a book, alisoncam. There is an excellent one for older boys (hitting puberty) I can recommend called "Living with a willy" by Nick Fisher. Havne't got a personal recommendation for a book for younger children, has anyone else?
Sparkling lime you are naughty :oops: but funny. My son lost his bag during a camping trip, it was handed to the police and when he collected it, they asked if anything was missing. He said no but went red and confided to me later that although they hadn't pinched his mobile phone, they had pinched 70p and his condom. :lol:
I figure if I can talk about it seriously and tease them that it will become part of conservation.
However, Louise, I sure I'd have blushed if my son had told me that :lol: I'd like to think I wouldn't though!
Brilliant that they can tell you these things.
Oh Sparkling and Louise
Stories of the condoms have made me laugh so much. Not at that stage with my son (7) yet. At least I hope not. :lol: Keep your eyes peeled to this forum in the coming weeks :lol:
Got to get ready to collect my angel, and hear all about his day. Took a book about Dinosaurs and a little model of one in to show the class. He keeps telling me all the names of the dinosaurs, but I keep forgetting them. My brain can't take a lot in as I've got older. Is this just me, or does it happen to everyone????
Take care
Alison
x :)
You take care too.
My daughter used to be nuts on dinosaurs! She never did the doll thing!
Take care, and I hope he's had a good day.
xxx
Hi alisoncam
Great idea about the book, let us know which one you get and if it was useful. I agree with sparklinglime and think that if you can bring this kind of stuff up in regular conversation, then although they may squirm when they hit puberty when we talk openly, they will realise that it is nothing to be ashamed of or hidden.
As for the gay comment, I think again we need to be upfront with our children, they are going to hear all sorts of things in the playground and we need to show them that we know everything and nothing can phase us, (even if it means we have to do some sneaky research onto the internet when they have gone to bed!) My daughter a couple of years ago, came home talking about EMO's, I had to google it and find out what she was talking about!!
Good Luck with the dinosaur thing!! Perhaps you need to go to bed with one of his books!!
Anna,
You've got me there, what is EMO's???? Might be doing spot of googling myself before the day is over, ;)
A friend did suggest a book, but I have forgotten the title. Will let you know as soon as I do.
I talk very openly to my son, so I hope he won't be too embarrassed to chat with me when he is older. I always answer questions as best I can, but sometimes it isn't easy, and sometimes so unexpected!!!
Take care
Alison
x :)
My little sister went through an EMO stage, she's nineteen now and out of it and into being a 'lovie' as she's doing performing arts in Manchester..
As for the gay comment, I think again we need to be upfront with our children
I think we should openly expose them to as much different and diverse things as possible. Right from the beginning my son has shown an interest in traditionally girlie things and my immediate reaction was maybe he's gay! so I read up about it, cos I though what do I do?... and basically he probably isn't, not that it matters if he is but it would if he thought I wasn't OK about it. If that makes sense. It's quite normal for children to innocently take and interest in the world about them, they get told later by the people around them what is expectable and what isn't, this is why it's a good to be open and tolerant of the disparities of the world around us in front of them so they'll grow up with as few prejudices as possible :)
and the fewer the better, as it makes for a nicer friendlier world.
If that makes sense too.
later.
Hear, hear Bubblegum! I thought for a while my eldest was gay and made sure that he knew that it was perfectly Ok whether he was or wasn't.
Sparkling lime, you're right, you bringing it up in the conversation makes it "normal" and they don't need to worry that you are not on the ball with modern life so when the time comes, they will be able to confide in you.
Alisoncam, have you revised your dinosaurs? there will be a test later heh heh......Talking of tests, good luck with your son's later on, let us know how you get on.
Hi alisoncam - FYI - Emo is short for emotional.
I think they are very similar to what I call Goths. 21st century goths, as kids like to reinvent the wheel, although I am sure there are some differences!
Hi Louise
I have to confess I just don't listen, :? . Have to admit it's got me in to spots of bother too. My son loves having friends round. Anyhow, before the summer hols, he was chatting away, as he does, and I was busy rushing around, as I do ;) . I found myself saying 'yes, yeah, ok'.
We were in the garden and in walked a friend with her mum. 'Sorry we're late'. Me, gobsmacked and confused say 'late for what?'. My son pipes up. 'Mummy, she has come to play schools, but none of the others have turned up'.
It turns out, that morning I was busy, and saying the yeses, he had been asking me if he could invite some friends over in the hols to play!!!!!!!!!
I don't know who was the most embarrassed, me or the girls mum. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Alisoncam, have you revised your dinosaurs? there will be a test later heh heh......
:lol: alisoncam, you could have agreed to anything! ;) Just wait till he is a teenager, HE will be the one not listening. Sometimes I insert an extra sentence into my burbling, if I suspect my son is not listening, something like "I wonder if you want to stay out till midnight on Saturday" THEN I can tell if he is listening :lol:
:lol: :lol:
I did it this morning with my youngest. He picked up the recycling box to take to the top of the estate and mumbled something. Well I was locking the door and said 'yes'.
He dropped the box and started jumping up and down.
He'd asked if there were spiders on the box... :roll: He doesn't like spiders :shock: Empty cardboard loo roll innards rolling about everywhere :?
I really should listen. 8-)
Yes, you should always listen to your children!
It is important that our children know that we pay attention to them when they speak to us. When you are raising you children alone and the many many questions and queries they have, it is not always achievable! However please ensure that there are times in the day when you do sit down with them and listen to everything that they have to say. Have you read our article about Special Time it reminds us how listening can raise our childs self esteem and confidence.
I am not saying alisoncam or sparklinglime, that you don't listen to your children, I just wanted to remind people of this article and the importance of listening! :)
Hi Anna
I agree fully with what you say. I always take time after school to sit and listen to what my son has to say. Its just first thing in the morning, bleary eyed, I tend to say yeah, yes, etc. It is extremely hard when you're one parent, and they are yap yap yapping, (oh no, I'm making him sound like a dog) hehe. I do tend to switch myself off after about 3 hours, and I'm guilty of this first thing!
Have a good day.
Take care
Alison
x :)
I know what you mean! And we all do it, so no guilt there. Just a prompt to take time to listen, which sounds like you do anyway!
Ummmm.....
It's difficult to know how to answer that one - although men do have millions of seeds, which might help...
I'm sure Sadsy's answer will be far more appropriate :D