Hello
Hey great to see you back.
At least you know where you stand when it comes to ex. It is better for your daughter to have one happy parent, than two unhappy ones.
It is good when the children start school, plenty of opportunities for new friends for you both. To get over the shyness perhaps you could get involved in helping with school play, or school trips, that gave me confidence anyway and the school always want parent helpers.
Volunteering with animals/dogs sounds lovely, whether it be dog walking or helping out at pdsa. Animal work is always good for shy people ;)
Look forward to talking to you more
Hello squeak2711
I hope you get some replies from other parents, local or otherwise.
I just wanted to welcome you on board and say that you are amongst friends here. You will see that there are threads about all sorts of subjects.
As for feeling shy in the playground, I know what you mean but I just wanted to tell you that one of my very closest friends was a fellow Mum in the playground, it took us a while to get our friendship off the ground but we have been friends for 10 years now, so do keep trying!
Look forward to getting to know you more :D
Hi Squeak.
Second attempt at a reply – typing away happily and it just disappeared!
It will be a big step for you and your daughter when she starts school. You will make friends at the school gate – even if it’s only to have a natter at the end of the school day. If it’s anything like the primary my children went/go to, then they’d be glad of extra help with the PTA too…
I volunteered for a while with the supported housing group who helped me when we were homeless. Helped me realise that I had a few issues within my marriage that I hadn’t been aware of! They no longer use volunteers though, which was sad – well for me!
I’ve sort of got into Scouts now.
I’m glad you had the support of your parents. Family and friends are invaluable when it comes to building a new life.
Looking forward to getting to know you.
Pansy, that should not be happening with the threads. One thing I have found is that at the top of each section are the "stickys", that is topics that always stay at the top, whether very recently added to or not. The, underneath those are the standard topics and they appear in the order of those most recently contributed to. This means that if there are a couple of "stickys" then the thread you ar elloking for might be a way down the board if others have been used more recently......
Hi Clara
That must be so horrible, not knowing where you stand and him coming and going. However, it is not unusual for this to happen as you will read if you go through some of the other threads. Maybe you can start to feel better now you have definitely split up and you can move forward with your life. The pain WILL ease over time, though it might not seem like that now. Sometimes we can get so involved with our children and our partner that there is little opportunity for making friends, which is why it is so hard if your relationship breaks down. So welcome to a new start, Clara! There are lots of online friends here and as you grow in confidence you might also want to have a look at http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/ for things in your local area
Hello again squeak,
Have a look at that link above, too. But do both stick around here as well, as it is great to have you both here! :D
Hello squeak 2711
Those are words of wisdom, and also it takes a lot of courage to be honest enough to admit that you were scared of being on your own. I remember that feeling. I was "luckier" in that I saw the split coming and I was able to think what might make things easier, particularly moneywise, and I took on a college course knowing that very soon I would be the family breadwinner. I think the shock when people break up is one of the hardest things to deal with, as shown on these boards.
Hi squeak2711
Thanks so much fior making that point; even if you are the one who decides to end the relationship then things can be difficult and painful. Also when you were saying about being unable to get out of bed, it is worth remembering that too, so that if you have times when you are down nowadays then look back and see how far you have come :D
Have a good day and never mind the rain, your little water baby will still enjoy the padding pool!
I was the one who left ex - although in hind sight I should have done so much sooner. It takes courage though... I was devastated though - so much ends when a marriage/relationship end.
I hope you have a lovely time with your parents and that the sun does shine.
You're right, sparkling lime, it is the loss of our hopes and dreams and that can be a bereavement in itself.
Did you enjoy a rain-free day, squeak 2711?
Hi squeak2711
You are right when you say the temptation to go back is very strong, especially in the early days. It is great that you had your parents support and also that you had your head screwed on enough to recognise that that it was a fear of being on your own that might have drawn you back to him, rather than undying love for the marvelous man that thought he could be!
Clara, what a difficult time you are having. Your ex is not showing you or your boys any respect. this then has a knock on effect on how YOU feel about yourself.
It is time to get realistic. Have you considered counselling? I found that talking to someone who listened to me and wasn't always trying to take advantage of me was really useful. It made me feel that I do have a valid opinion and that it was normal to have all the feelings that I had and it gave me the freedom to move on with my life.
Very few single parents choose to parent alone, we all thought when pregnant that our future was pretty much set up with the partner that we were with. But when a relationship breaks down, we have to re-evaluate the situation and move on with a different direction in mind.
Look after yourself, don't beat yourself up over your ex, enjoy your life without being controlled by anyone else. Your job is parenting your children now, not being a safety net for your ex.
How is life treating you this week?
Loads of hugs and strength.
Hi squeak2711
Welcome to One Space, you will find some friends on here, glad you found us! :D
So your daughters father threw you out of the house at 11pm at night? Poor you, what did you do? You say you have had no contact since, is that your choice or his? Sounds like that might be a good thing. ;)
Parenting alone can feel lonely, but it doesn't have to be. Is your daughter in nursery now? Do you go to any mums and toddler groups? Do you have family that live close by?
What are your interests? What do you enjoy??
I know, so many questions huh! I was the same age as you with my daughter (mine's 14 now, aghhh that makes me 36) and had a difficult time, but I promise you, that if you are looking for a change in your life, you will find it. I started volunteering at a local organisation, just to be around adults while my daughter started nursery, only one day a weekthough. I received training, expenses for lunch which was £3.50 (loads of money to me for one lunch) and a lot of support and guidance. I volunteered for 3 years and then ended up getting a job with the same place!
Have a look at the following link and see if there is anything in your local area: http://www.do-it.org.uk if this is something you would consider.
Let us know if you find anything interesting. You don't have to apply straight away, just have a root around.
Keep posting :) I am always up for a chat. :)