First Time Mum

Ms.J-Fontaine

Hi Everyone.

I figured that as I don't have the support I need at home, maybe I will find it here.
I'm 17 and about to bring a baby into the world on my own (Due July 11th).
My boyfriend, aged 20, left the moment I gave him our news, despite being in a realtionship for almost three years. No questions, just left! Not spoken to him since this but friends of his have informed me he is now in a new relationship with a girl younger than myself. Not only am I hurt he hasn't given us a thought but I also worry for his new girlfriend.
My family aren't around as i'm fostered and although i'm close to my carer, she doesn't understand.
What can I do & how do I know i'll manage?

Thank you for reading.
Hope to get to know you all soon =) x

Posted on: June 30, 2009 - 3:44pm

sparklinglime

Lovely to see you here.

I'm sure you're enjoying this heat... :(

As mad as it sounds, you will manage because really you have no choice.

You will have so much reward with firsts and with smiles, and pride in knowing that 'you' have done this and succeeded.

Sending loads of best wishes your way. Is your bag ready?

Ask as many questions as you want, and I'm sure you'll have replies. I find everyone here is so supportive kind and understanding.

Meanwhile, keep your feet up while you can, and keep turning your feet to keep your ankles from swelling... Well, it's what I was told to do and my eldest is now 17.

Looking forward to getting to know you too.

Posted on: June 30, 2009 - 3:53pm

mousie

Hi sweetheart - sorry dont know your name
Scary isn' t it! I had my first daughter when I was only 16 but I was lucky enough to have the support of my family. However having kids is definitely the best thing I have ever done in my life and although I am sad cos husband no. 2 has just left me and I have a three year old now, you dont need a man to bring up your child I promise! Not sure if its practical or emotional support you need but first and foremost do you have someone to go with you when you have your child (or someone to be with you if your having the baby at home)? If there is anything you want to know just ask and I'll try and give you an honest answer. When I went into labour I locked mysely in the loo and refused to come out I was so scared - my dad had to break the door down so dont worry you cant do much worse than that. Take care of yourself and dont worry people on here will help you x

Posted on: June 30, 2009 - 9:44pm

IfYouSeeHer

I'm 19 and going through it all on my own now as well. My daughter is 4 months old so I'm really new to this. My mum always swore that if I got pregnant before I was 20 she'd disown me but now that the little one's been born my mum can't get enough of her. I'm sure that when your little bundle of joy (because babies really are that, I know it's cliche but its true!) is born your carer will begin to understand. It is hard, no-one's going to lie to you, but I'm sure you've been through tougher times and your little one will be worth it in the end.

And on the subject of silly things to do while in labour, I swore blind I just needed to go to the toilet and ended up arguing with the midwife because she wouldn't let me go. =D

Posted on: June 30, 2009 - 11:45pm

Bubblegum

Hi,

Do you have a NAYS worker? they are usually independent from your carers and are there to help you with what ever.

I expect it is all very scary when you are 17, it was when in was in my 30's and I wasn't even the one actualy giving birth : ) but it's all worth it in the end, having children and nurturing them through the early stages of life and seeing them on their way is what we are here fore, it's all the most completely natural thing in the world.

Don't keep things inside and talk to someone, I don't know how it works exactly, it's been a while since I was involved with people in care but I'm pretty sure you are entitled to a NYAS worker : )

later.

Posted on: July 1, 2009 - 7:14am

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hello Ms J-Fonatine

Firstly welcome to One Space!

Secondly, many congrats on the forthcoming baby. Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl? have you thought of any names yet? I am sure the hot weather is not pleasant for you (I had both my babies in August and can still remember how uncomfy it is to be pregnant in a heatwave) Try to take it easy 8-)

There is a lot of emotional support available to you on these boards. If you tell me what is your nearest town I will also look around for you to see what local support is available. Ask your midwife (and your health visitor when the baby is born) about what local stuff they can recommend, especially for younger mums. Certainly you could get in touch with the National Childbirth Trust in your area. They will support you through the early days and there are coffee meetings etc to go to with your baby so you can make some new friends. Have a look at http://www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com/in-your-area to find your nearest one

Keep coming on the boards and we will be with you all the way

best wishes

Louise :D

Posted on: July 1, 2009 - 11:04am

Me and the boy

There are lots of centres for 'young people' and you can usually ak your social services or job centre where they are. They normally help up to 19 years old and your health visitor should be able to tell you of any young mum groups in your area. You will get through this :D

Posted on: July 1, 2009 - 6:47pm

Anna

Parenting specialist

Hi Ms.J-Fontaine

Hi there, you WILL cope, you WILL enjoy! :D

You will be fine, is there a young mums group in your area? Get onto the Council see if there is anything near by, or talk to your health visitor.

It must be very painful to hear from friends that your ex has met someone new, especially at this time. You say that you worry about his new girlfriend is there something you are not telling us? Is he trouble?

Posted on: July 6, 2009 - 12:22pm