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first time on board. going through divorce.


i am 42 years old, actually 41. i ended my marriage exactly one year ago, or at least separated one year ago and currently going through divorce. i have 3 lovely little children. the eldest is not long 7, the middle one will be 5 shortly and the youngest is 2. two girls and a boy. i feel a little sorry for my wee boy as he is in a house with all females. the children see their dad every 2nd weekend from a thursday to a monday morning so at least he gets some male company then. he just started school in september and is making friends soperhaps he will have a few male friends visit to play sometime soon.

my eldest girl (7) is a beautiful girl with a strong character. not too strong but a little stroppy at seems she is a teenager before her youngest is at pre-school part time and enjoys it although still a little lost at times and tearful when i leave. im not working and dont plan to return to work until my youngest starts school full time, so another couple of years yet.ive not worked in 7 years so it will be rather daunting to return to the work place and no doubt i will need to freshen up my training as a beauty therapist as i have been out of the profession all this time. probably work for myself as i cant see anyone taking on a 40 plus year old therapist and then theres the dilemma with child care costs outside school and during school holidays.

i live in a village near ashford and would love to make friends with people in my area and in time perhaps meet up on a friendship basis, men and women and create a strong circle of friends in similar positions to myself. i am not currently looking for a 'partner'. i want to concentrate on myself and the children and have the divorce well and truly behind time for the opposite sex right now and dont want to introduce children to someone new at this point, despite their dad doing so.

its hard work but so looking forward to moving on mentally and emotionally and then progressing forward into a healthy place before encountering new relationship. definately keen to meet someone new but do want to take time and have good quality time for that person with no stress or baggage to cart around on top.

look forward to making friends from ashford area.

Posted on: November 21, 2009 - 10:43pm
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello shiv

welcome! great to hear from you. it sounds as if you have really thought through your plans and are very focused on the children and keeping their security intact, that's very important, and you are even thinking ahead to future career plans. Your profession is one which is compatible with flexible working so that will help.
You're right, it is good to have a strong circle of friends and you mentioned your son being in a household of women, well if some of your new friends are male then that will be all to the good for your boy.

I am not sure how near to you all our members are, I know we have some that live in Kent. You can also contact other parents through Do stay with us though as there is so much information and support here and lots of friendship too :D Have a look around the site and jump in where you would like, you will be made very welcome

Posted on: November 22, 2009 - 7:49am

Hi Shiv
Welcome to Onespace. I hope you find the support you are looking for here from those near to you and from the rest through chatting on line. Its a very supportive bunch here with lots of similar stories so lots of advice being passed round regarding shared experiences.
I grew up in Kent/East Sussex so know your part of the world but am now in Bristol. How long have you been in Ashford?
Hope to see you back here again.

Posted on: November 22, 2009 - 6:28pm
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Shiv

Welcome to One Space

Your message sounds as though you are coping very well and you and your husband have sorted out agreeable contact for all. :) Good for you!

I think it is great that you are taking this time now, before your youngest starts full time school, to clear your mind and focus a little on yourself and your future.

This might be one place to start meeting people?

Some people find that joining a single parent group really refreshing, others would prefer to meet anybody but another single parent! Let us know you get on. Was just thinking too about supper clubs, what are your neighbours like??

Posted on: November 23, 2009 - 9:50am
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Oh just found this, that you might be interested in:

Posted on: November 23, 2009 - 9:52am