Do you feel guilty that your no longer share a relationship with the father/mother of your children? Whether it was your decision or not, do you feel that you should have been able to somehow make it work? Or do you feel positive that it is the right thing for you and your family, share your thoughts here.
Not at all. I feel that I have rescued them from him. My eldest is treating me like her hero at the moment!
It's really interesting to see that although there has been some guilt, our children seem to be happy and fulfilled, as are we! :)
No, I don't feel guilty at all. Sorry I didn't leave sooner, yes... Sad that their father chooses to see so little of them (we were married for 20 years).
Its great to hear that so many people in this group aren't carrying weights of guilt with them, as we have said before, splitting up with partners is one of the hardest things to do, especially if you have children together and have once dreamt of a future.
Even though we may have once felt guilty, obviously the feeling soon passes!!
I think "Ho Hum" just about sums it up! :roll: (think this is a ho hum sort of face)
Hi there jschs
I think it is brilliant that you have listed your guilty feelings, it makes it so much clearer, not only for yourself but hopefully for others reading these messages. I don't think any of them are ridiculous, I think all your reasons are really accurate for so many people who have separated.
They are definitely reasons to feel sad about and grieve over, but guilt? Definitely not. :)
One in four families is a single parent family
We are widespread and all over this country!! When your daughter wants to find out about her real dad, then you can support her with that, but for the time being, it is just the two of you and trust me, you do get used to it, it can actually be great fun, when we let go of all the hang ups!
Acknowledge to yourself that your daughter is happy, she doesn't need anyone other than you. So keep strong and pat yourself on the back.
I know in the past I have wished that I had more positive male role models in my daughters life, that I had more musical and artistic people in her life, even more go-getting, adventurous people in her life, but do you know what, all she has is me, she is 14 now and fantastic. We mustn't belittle ourselves believing we need someone else, someone else would be nice, but not a necessity.
What do others think?
I don't feel a bit guilty. It wasn't my fault he couldnt keep it in his pants :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
I've been really lucky with my in-laws (still call them that - and they still call me their daughter-in-law, even though he's now married!). She is his step-mum though, which has been the main difference. I'm sure his mum wouldn't have been supportive.
His dad didn't know the full story until a couple of years back (5 years since we split up), and he's been really brilliant with me.
I go there every week with the children for tea - did before the split, and they insisted we carry on going .
If I didn't take the children, I don't actually think they'd see their grandparents. I've lost both my parents.
Hi happygolucky
If you walked out, you must have had a good reason. Don't beat yourself up over it. Have you talked to anyone professionally? How old is your youngest son? Did you know there is another forum for just dads? There is a lot of help and support here for you, so you're not alone.
Take care
Alison
x :)
happygolucky"]Yes!! Tho I'm not sure if its guilt or i'm sad and still grieving. Prob both as it was me that walked out 3 yrs ago.. and have mixed feelings about children's happiness as youngest son still has issues when transitioning after visits to me back to his mum!
Hello happygolucky
It is true that transferring "between parents" can be unsettling for children and maybe there are ways to ease this. Could you give a few more details about what happens and how your boy behaves and what he says and how old he is and we might all be able to provide some suggestions :)
Not in the slightest, my son is growing up to be a lovely young man without his mothers influence :D