Hi all
It would be really interesting to share our own experiences if raised by a single parent, so that others can understand what their children might be going through, learn from what each other have lived through and gain knowledge so learnt mistakes aren't repeated by others.
Did you grow up in a single parent family? What were your experiences? Did you feel that you were missing out?
Did you find that you developed a special/closer relationship with your parent than your friends seemed to?
Did you think that your friends who lived in two parent families had more than you?
Did it make you feel different as a person?
Do you feel you lost your childhood as you felt you had to be responsible for your mum/dad?
Talk about as much or as little you like, we are all ears! :lol:
Hey Lulu
Thanks for your response. You sound really positive and well adjusted! Not an emotional wreck who was dragged up by their benefit scrounging mum!
Like you say, it sounds as if your g'parents were a godsend, not just for babysitting you, but also for that family feel?
Also it is great to hear that your Dad is now helping out, right at a time when you really need it. So I say hooray for your mum as we all know that she must have had tough times, but hooray for your dad as he has pulled through.
Thanks for sharing the fact that some children of single parents actually turn out ok!!! :lol:
PS what are you doing in eve class??
Hi travin thanks for sharing with us, it must have been very hard growing up with someone who felt so down on life, do you feel you follow in her footsteps or do you feel that you are the opposite, ever the optimist! :)
Hats off to you for attending college and working full time to support yourself and your mum, you must have been exhausted.
I didn't grow up in a single parent family, although I am raising my daughter alone, in the early days I used to be very down on life, men, money, happiness etc. But then I went to counselling and it really helped me turn my life around.
Do you feel your upbringing affected your view on relationships and men?
I am not surprised, zane, poor you, what a sad story! You had to become a "parent" yourself at such a young age and were never allowed to have your childhood. No wonder you crave this and seek it from your relationships, I would say that is totally understandable. When/if you feel in the right place to tackle this then I feel sure a counsellor could help you work on this and move forward.
Thank you so much for your post, and for being so open and honest. I really think when we are bringing up children on our own, it is good to think of it from the child's perspective and not just from our own. You have learned so much from your experiences so thank you for sharing that learning.
very best wishes
When me and my mum moved out of my dad's house we lived with my grandparents for a while. I was 2. I remember my dad asking how long we would be gone and me replying that we were never coming back. As far as I can remember I just took it in my stride. I expect counsellors would say it had some subconscious effect.
It was a fab time for me because in a way my grandparents were like parents and my mum was like my sister. When I was 9 me and my mum moved but only to the next street. So I didn't feel like I was missing out and I definately had a closer relationship to my mum and to my grandparents.
My mum taught full time so we didn't have the economic worries that many single parents face. Again having my grandparents to look after me was a God-send. My dad didn't help out financially but I have the feeling my mum preffered not to be tied to him in that way.
Quite a few of my friends were from single parent households. Certainly more than was average at that time (especially in the middle class town where we lived). Some had step parents, which I was NOT up for but for various reasons having a new partner wasn't on the agenda for my mum.
My relationship with my dad is another story. Good things: He was around which is more than some people can say. He and my mum were still friends which meant we could do Christmas and other family things together. Bad things: He often went AWOL for weeks at a time. (I would say that that has affected me. Self esteem and all that.) I wouldn't say we are close. He had MANY MANY girlfriends, some I liked some I didn't, some had really awful kids who I was expected to babysit. None lasted long.
It's weird looking back with the perspective of being a single parent myself. I realise now that moving in with my grandparents must have been a bit of a low point for my mum and that she probably hated or at least resented my dad at least some of the time and was putting up with him for my sake. I also realise how lucky we were that my grandparents were there for us. I'm sure there are loads of things that I don't know. I don't even know why they split up in the first place.
If I have learnt anything from this experience it's that it is possible to raise a good kid on your own (not wanting to blow my own trumpet but I think I turned out ok). But you need support and should take it wherever you can get it.
My dad and step mum now look after my daughter on a monday evening so I can go to an evening class. I would never have predicted that.
I'm sorry I've gone on and on. I could continue but I won't. I'm not sure if I've even answered the questions!