suneagle

Hi all I haven't been on here for a while.

I wonder if anyone can let me know what I should do and where I stand. I don't want to put myself in conflict with the law.

I have fully custody with a contact order in place to father via the courts.

The father is turning up several hours late when handover is at the house.

But today he did not turn up at to take them to their summer school. I took them. I have sent out emails and text, he refuses my phone calls.

He has not replied in anyway.

I am now waiting to see if the summer scheme, phone me to ask me to pick them up because he hasn't turned up. I think he will today, but he has indicated under his breath this arrangement is inconvenient for him especially the afternoon pickup from summer scheme. When I asked him to clarify what he had mumbled he said he would get back to me after he has thought about it. So I could be completely wrong about what I heard. However this ould not be the first time he has desiced not to have them but normally it is only when I am handing over to him and not when other people are involved.

This arrangement has been in place less than a few months through the courts and is what he requested and got as we could not make a father see his children when he does not want to.

I work full time all my family are a boat/plane journey away and I receive not a penny from him; he is self-employed and does temporary work. I have no child care apart from me. I work long hours when the children are supposed to be with him so I can be there when they are with me and pay the bills.

My question is, what do I do if he doesn't turn up and is refusing to answer any communication?

Is he legally responsible for his children? If he is leaving them is that something I need to report to the law? They are under the age of 10.

Thank you for your help

Posted on: August 4, 2014 - 3:35pm
Sally W
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

I would say that if he fails to arrive and has not given you notification of his not turning up with a good reason i.e. had to work, illness or injury, then he could be breaking the contract agreement, the area of who is responsible for the children is difficult, if he is on the birth certificate then you have joint responsibility.  I'm not legally trained so you should check with our legal expert to see if your ex is breaking the contact agreement and what he would recommend you do.

Do you have a review date for this contact arrangement?  I would recommend keeping note of the times he does and does not collect the children, so that you have some proof and to also show that it has not been a one of situation, in case you need to take him back to court to get the contact order revised.

 

Posted on: August 4, 2014 - 6:29pm

suneagle

Sally thanks, I am keeping a note. I can't afford to go back to court.

The court have ruled in his favour twice. Last time we were told that thier hands were tided as the only person they could punish was the one wanting to look after the children, not the one who didn't want them. So he has taken that as if I don't want to turn up then I don't have to.

I have had no contact today from him to say he has them, but I know if he didn't turn up then the scheme would have contacted me. No news is good news?

 

Posted on: August 4, 2014 - 7:11pm

Sally W
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Sorry he is messing you about like this suneagle, the system can be so unfair at times, thing is from that comment they can also see how flawed it is yet do nothing to put it right.

Do contact our legal expert to see if he can recommend anything.

Posted on: August 5, 2014 - 6:55am