Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Are you specific with what you spend the Child Maintenance money on?

Or does it just go into the pot with everything else?

We would like to hear your way of doing things........

Posted on: February 20, 2014 - 4:53pm
She Ra
Online

ATM it goes in The bank alongside other money.

Since jan I have it paid into a separate account and if the children need anything coat shoes etc, I use it feels much better to have the money there than saving for these items plus I see a benefit from Csa money.

also if we want a treat to go out etc it comes out that 

Posted on: February 20, 2014 - 10:56pm

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Thanks for sharing that IDT Smile So in a way it is like a little savings account?

Anyone else?

Posted on: February 21, 2014 - 11:17am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Good idea, IDT, I was never that organised, it all used to go into the pot!

Has anyone else got other ways to manage it?

Posted on: February 22, 2014 - 8:18am

JazBling

Hi Anna

My Child Maintenance goes into "one pot" (which is my current account) and I spend what I need from there for us.

Posted on: February 22, 2014 - 1:48pm

Bubblegum
DoppleMe

I get ten pounds every two weeks, I don't notice it, except when I happen to check my bank statements online and I always think 'where's.... Oh yeah'

 

Posted on: February 23, 2014 - 10:40am

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Do you think that maintenance should be kept separately? Many non resident parents feel as though they are paying for the resident parents 'going out money' do you think they should get a say on what it is spent on?

Posted on: February 24, 2014 - 10:20am

Bubblegum
DoppleMe

No!

Not realy, not unless they have good reason to think that the childs needs are not being met.

Posted on: February 25, 2014 - 10:32am

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Good point Bubblegum

Posted on: February 25, 2014 - 5:36pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I'm with Bubblegum.

I've never had a significant amount from The Git, so while it's good it's there, it wouldn't be missed if it doesn't...

Posted on: February 25, 2014 - 7:26pm

Bubblegum
DoppleMe

It could quite easily become just another tool for your ex to try and control you with anyway.

The ten quid every two weeks was used by her solicitors in court as evidence that she was contributing to their upbringing (I laughed) (though obviously not in court)... despite the fact that she was about six hundred pounds in arrears anyway, that I got payed back at something silly like fify pence a week or something.

: )

Posted on: February 26, 2014 - 10:59am

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

I agree that a fiver a week can almost not be missed, but every little helps Smile

I sometimes think if it was the other way around and my daughter lived with her father, I would find it hard not knowing what exactly it was being spent on! However being on this side of the coin (not that my ex has ever paid maintenance), any money that would have come my way would have been in the pot with gas, electric, food, transport, extra curricular activities etc etc etc! So it would be very hard to define!

Posted on: February 26, 2014 - 5:31pm

Jeano

Glad to see this discussion going on.  My postbag usually asks if there is anything officially documented about what child support covers.  My stock reply is that there isn't anything official but in my opinion, whatever the receiving parent wants it to cover.

 I don't mean supporting a wild lifestyle - although whatever floats your boat occasionally does no harm does it - but the receiving parent should decide how it is spent.  Put aside for children's specifically identified needs such as treats, school activities, sport costs, etc is great but equally fine is if it is used for everyday essentials like food, clothing, rent, heat etc.  It is all counted as meeting the children's needs.

My friend saved her child support and used it to take them on holiday so they saw something from it.  It was never enough for a holiday abroad but they always went away each year. They went without many things for the rest of the year but that was what she had chosen to use it for.

My child support was put into the general pot until my son started college at 16 , then he had it paid into his account for clothes, travel, going out etc.  It worked out cheaper to hand it over and taught him how to budget!

I was lucky to be able to afford to do this but  by this time  I was working and earning enough for child support not to be crucial to our survival.  In the early years, it was the difference between sink or swim so I understand how important regular maintenance is.

 

Posted on: February 27, 2014 - 8:36am

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Jeano, thanks for your input.

I think when our children are young, we may be living on benefits, it is very hard to put the money aside for anything, but I like what you did once you were in a position where there was a little more money coming in. Smile

Posted on: February 27, 2014 - 7:57pm

Bubblegum
DoppleMe

I don't ever stop to think, what am I spending my money on, appart from the fact that 'OH MY God! I have so little! How it impacts on the 'contribution' made by my ex... ? I don't ever think, oh I'm spending what ever, does this come from the money that my ex pays me, because realy! I have a bank account into which goes my wages, family tax credit, working tax credit, child allowance, THE TEN QUID FROM MY EX, and 'something' towards my rent from the DWP or who ever and I go about living our lives.

I'm not ging to sit about working out where the ten quid from my ex goes, or what it is spent on.

Neither am I going to give it to my children and say... hay! Here's a couple of quid from the part time, and I mean, realy! Part time! As in not even once a year... parent! Who is forced by law to contribute to your upbringing.

Sorry if I sound angry but I'm in my 40's and I've drunk some wine.

Maybe I should whip out excell and acount for every penny I spend and then show where the TEN QUID EVERY TWO WEEKS! goes : )

I supose this whole argument may be different if your ex has a realy good job and accounts for like 90% of your income.

That's not me.

I suppose I could say.. The Gas! ...Gas! I spent your ten quid on gas! Keeping the house warm, the house your children live in.

: )

Please thank me for my input, or don't I don't mind : )

Posted on: February 27, 2014 - 11:31pm

sergiozed
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Bubblegum, 

thanks for your input!  Ten quid doe not go very far in gas.... It makes me so angry when I listen to the radio and hear of government people trying to decided a definition, a definition for god sake, of what Child Poverty is! It's when we need to have a discussion like this one because, the government, the benefit system, the courts, the CSA can't be sen to upset voters by imposing a FAIT maintenance, and then enforcing it. And then they sanction you for trying to be a good parent, like we have been reading so many times on the forum. 

You deserve that glass of wine Bubblegum...!

Posted on: February 28, 2014 - 9:37am

Bubblegum
DoppleMe

Glass! ? It was a bottle, a whole bottle... But I would just like to point out, NOT! purchased with the ten quid given to me via the CSA from my ex.

: )

Posted on: February 28, 2014 - 9:48am

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I hope you enjoyed the wine :-))

Posted on: February 28, 2014 - 1:54pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Well my child support money was a whole ten quid per week! Looking at my giant of a son, I used to laugh as that only fed him for a couple of days, let alone bought him clothes, warmed the house, paid the council tax so that we weren't taken to court, paid the electricity for cooking his meals and washing his clothes. The only reason he managed to go on school trips was because my parents would help out with that.

Posted on: March 1, 2014 - 10:02am