This site is an archive of the OneSpace Forums. Return to forum index.
hi all just to give you a update on how things have been.I have realised that my wife truly does not love me anymore and i have to get over it yes i did take my wife for granted but so did she in away i just wanted to make sure all the bills were paid and worked 60hrs per week to make ends meat.I have always put my family first our son is autistic and this has been added pressure to our marriage but she does not want to try and start again so i have to move forward i love my kids with all my heart and did not want this to happen.my ex wife told me that i will be a miserable man with now family or friends and she was right to some respect i had know friends because my family came first so while i have been in some dark corners recently i am only just starting to come back to reality.I answered a advert on the net for a singer required for band i have in the past and i mean past been in a band and so i have got a audition with this band on thursday i cant wait!!!!!! it will take my mind off things that are going on at home.I have also joined a gym to get some pounds off!!!!!!! and she has said that i am having a mid life crisis but i told her i was just doing what she told me to do get a life like she has ...Anyway speak soon and thanks for this sight 
Good luck for Thursday 
I am still in the home at the moment so i am seeing the kids all the time thank god but she is becoming more hatefull towards me by the day saying that i have emotionally abused her for all these years and that she wishes she could kill me I know i have not been the best husband but she has not been the perfect wife either and she is just using this and passing on the guilt to me for what she is doing.I love her and always will but she has so much hatred inside her for me its unbelieveble.I had no friends because of giving my life to the kids and this is how a get repayed!!!!!.Any way the band has sent me a list of songs that i can choose to sing from i have picked secret smile by semisonic and where ever i lay my hat thats my home by paul young.Have to get practicing do,ray,me,fa,so. take care all out there and im glad i have a least someone to talk to even though its on the web.Paul
I can't understand the anger. I can understand the growing apart though, as I think that's what happened in my case. The anger started when the 'other' parent started to let the children down.
The Paul Young one - one of my favourites.
I have been there for the kids all the time she lately has been going out all the time in the evenings using the excuse that its because im there yet when i go to my sisters she will get my son on the phone saying am i coming home.A couple of years back she had taken 4 credit cards in my name on line and max them all out and so i had to remorgage the house to clear the £14,000 that she got us into.I Forgave her for what she done although i have always been worried what might come through the door in the post since then perhaps that has not helped me always worrying all the time but as long as my kids have a roof above there head i was happy, im not asking to much is it?I like that song as well although i may well up when i sing it!!!!!
Good luck with the audition, paulch, see it as a great experience in your new life!
Have you had some financial/legal advice? it is definitely worth you seeing a solicitor even at this early stage, click here to find one.
hi louise there is one small problem about cost because i pay almost everything in the house except food and water rates i have no money because of all my out goings i have even recently been buying stuff for the home because she said she was sick of the so called sh*t hole of a house but to be honest the house is fine its just her again making nasty comments thanks
hi louise this is also my second time married (not having much luck?) and i pay and see my other two children from my first wife every week which is very amicable now.so i have two familys two children with first wife age 16 and 13 and with my wife she has a daughter of 15 and we have our son between us who is 7 thanks I Know that it looks bad that i have been married twice and both failed but first wife did the same as this one so it must be something i do!!!!
Hi paulch. It doesn't look bad that you've been married twice. Some people just aren't so lucky. Louise or Anna can recommend a book, but for the life of me, cannot remember what the title is!! I love that song by Paul Young.
thanks hazeleyes i have good days and bad days at the moment for example dropping son of for school with wife and i could feel the eyes of her friends from work looking at or ignoring me. like it is all down to me like i said before there are two sides to everyone and i am by far not perfect but neither was she.all i keep getting at the moment is that i am a abuser and that for the last 11 years they have been hell yet 4 weeks ago she came in to me and we did adult stuff.why would she do that to a so called abuser??????thanks
So it sounds as if there is a lot to be sorted out moneywise as you formalise your separation.
No-one is perfect and there are indeed two sides to every story.
That book that hazleyes mentioned is one that invites you to look at your relationships and you may find it helpful further down the line, see it here.
Hi paulch. Well done on getting an audition, I shall keep my fingers crossed for you. I guess, to realise that your wife doesn't love you anymore, it also means that perhaps, though still hurting, you are starting to slowly come to terms with it. Not an easy thing to do. I'm glad you're starting to come out of the 'dark corners', that's a good sign. Joined a gym too? Good for you. How are the children? Are you getting regular contact?