I have parental responsibility and her mother had her for xmas last
year, as well as recently taking her a on holiday for a week to Greece -
letting me know the day before they left to which I was not happy as my
daughter had a fevor a few days before and I wasn't allowed to see her.
We separated amicably without needing to go to court or anything. I've
tried to reason with her but she is refusing out of spite and only lets
me have my daughter for longer periods when she goes out clubbing or
goes on holidays. I have had regular contact with my daughter since we split up and see her once a week on Saturdays. What can I do?
Hi Daddy-Andre, I would suggest that you contact a solicitor, they can write a letter for you requesting longer holiday periods, as hazeleyes suggested.
www.dadtalk.co.uk offer free legal advice to fathers on their forums, which may save you a visit to the solicitors.
It is often worth trying to go through Mediation before heading down the Court route, have a look at Resolution and their information on Alternatives to Court.
Hello Daddy-Andre
it sounds as if your daughter's mum wants to be in control of the amount of contact. if this ends up in court then she will NOT be in control as a family judge will make the decision. Howver, if she comes to mediation with you then sheretains some involvement. This could be the major selling point to persuade her to go to Mediation with you and forge a proper agreement.
Hi there
Im afraid I know to many mothers like this and their controlling issues are NOT in the kids interest. My partner took his ex to court for half cust and residencey (his ex said he would have no hope and bob hope) and he was awarded it. It went in his favour that he had his son when she wanted to dump him on us when it suited her own wants. Unforunately the hole thing cost £5k. It may not be that you have to go all those lenghts as you seperated amicabally. You can just let her know you mean business and its time things were set to a proper routine and the agreement stating you can both agree on holidays and special times 4 weks in advanced or something.
Your solicitor can write a letter with the contact arrangments YOU OFFER and that if she doesnt agree you will take her to court. Then think about where you go from there.
It is worth doing because when your in a new relationship it puts no end of stress on it with the ex controlling part of your life!
Good Luck
Is there no way you can both see your daughter at xmas? Even though I dont get on with my ex i invited him over for breakfast so he could see his wee girl opening her presents. That only worked when she was wee though. I dont think i could bear not to see my child on xmas day, maybe your ex feels the same. Can you not take her on holiday some other time?
I think the child should be taken care of by you and your wife. You need to talk with your ex-wife and totally point out this issue. And if not obvious effect, you need turn to the help of law.
Hi Daddy-Andre. Welcome along to One Space. It was great that you didn't need to go to the court or anything when you split, but maybe as your ex is being awkward (shall we say) perhaps its time to reconsider things. At the moment, she is calling all the shots with regard to when you can have daughter, then like you say, letting you have her longer when it suits her. I've never had to deal with issues over contact (my son doesn't see his 'father'), but others will be along at some point who can give you lots of sound advice.