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Ok so first things first: if you're one of those people who hate all mention of things Christmassy before December 24th at the earliest, then we have a thread especially for you, see it here.
This is for something quite different. We are putting together an article with help and top tips for single parents at Christmas. Many members may be facing their first Christmas as a single parent and some will not be with their children at all. So please would you post on any or all of the following topics:
1. How do you spend Christmas Day?
2. What has been most help to you with coping with the festive season?
3. If you were not with your children, how would you spend Christmas
4. Any other top tips or ways of looking at things, that have helped.
MANY, MANY THANKS! 
What on earth makes you think I want to discuss Chrismas at all??? Its OCTOBER for crying out loud!
Hi Hopeful we are doing this thread now so we can get the article ready for the 1st December. We appreciate that this is annoying for some people so that's why we provided a letting off steam thread. Feel free to ignore both threads if you don't wish to discuss it at all 
Sally those are good money-saving tips. I did home-pickled onions one year and the house stunk for weeks, never again!
My ex chose not to have the children over Christmas, so in that resepct I have been lucky. However, I was always prepared for them to go. It's not too disimilar to birthdays, and the children never minded having two birthdays, and equally I know they'd have been delighted having two Christmas days. I think it is us, the adults, who put the significance into the day.
I used to tell myself that there was plenty of programmes on the tv to get through the day. I also have a pensioner friend who will sometimes join us for dinner, so maybe I would have gone there.
As for budgeting. As my lot are all winter babies, I shopped all year round and also had a Christmas club in a local toy shop, which always worked out really well. (I have 4 children). I have always restricted the budget though. It's now £30 per child. If they've wanted something big it has either been between the four of them (PS3 a few years back), or they have money from me and put it towards what ever it is they want. I cannot and will not buy things like laptops or itouch's for them. I just can't do it.
Having said all that, my lot are now old enough to understand that I have to budget.
One thing though that I have always made them focus on is the magic of Christmas. Even when they were in their prams I'd take them into the local city to see the Christmas lights. They know the Christmas story and why, to me, we have Christmas. To me its never been about the presents.
We do a few crafty things here as gifts, although we have never mastered the fudge - it never sets!
Wow that's fantastic, sparkling, what a lot of input, thanks!! I agree it is about the magic and not the prezzies, and of course the REAL story of Christmas
I came to redeem myself: Started signing practice for Christmas - so it's not all bah humbug.
I guess I am so against the Christmas hype because it takes away from its real meaning....
Consider yourself redeemed Hopeful, i totally get why your against all the hype.
I think the signing is great, Hopeful, and brings music to those with hearing problems, what are you "doing" this year?
Quite a few of us seem to get involved with something that helps other people, whether on the day itself or the run up.
Last year, my friend's son was with his dad and she did not go down to see her family in Wales (she had not been at Christmas for years as always here with son and to be near his dad) Anyway she spent last Christmas doing a lunch and entertainment here for lonely older people, and really enjoyed it. However, this year her son's dad is not available so she has her boy for the whole time, she mentioned to her parents on the phone that her son probably wouldn't want to help out with the lonely old people and her dad shouted on the phone "WE are lonely old people!!!" and it came out that for years her parents had wanted to have them visit at Christmas but had not liked to interfere in the delicate arrangements she had had with her ex. HUMPH!!
OK people, we need your help here!! 
We want top tips from our One Spacers on how to do Christmas as a single parent!
How do you make Christmas Day special for you and your children? It can be exhausting and sometimes emotionally draining too. How do we do it?!
Are you lucky enough to spend it with family? If so, do your children open their pressies before you go?
Do you get dressed up in your best clothes or hang out in your raggies?
Do your children make you presents? Do you do a stocking? Is it from you or from Santa?
Please share your Christmas Day stories with us, so that we can share with others.
Thanks
When they were little they used to open all their presents before we went to my parents, now they are older they save some for when we get home on the evening, i think last year one of the girls even managed to save one until boxing day.
If its my year with them on exams day this is what I do
It's all about the build up
little bits of special things spaced out
Christmas Eve they get new pjs to open, we watch Xmas films have some nice treats to eat, leave carrots for rudolf we make 'Santa dust' To sprinkle before they go to bed its glitter, sugar whatever iv got it helps Santa find hos way to us, they each have a stocking they hang that at the end of their bed.
they wake and open stocking on my bed
they have new socks DVD sweets choc coins and a toy
we all go downstairs
santas normally done something special like one year he put light on our living room ceiling ( set off lights pinned up ) that covers the ceiling
they open their gifts,
at dinner we have a table present its basically because I like them to all buy a gift for their siblings but would cost to much so its like a secret Santa but not secret , we all put our names in a hat weeks in advance and pick mm name out so they each get a gift and with dinner.we think about buying something they like so in turn they have at least bought each other a gift.
each year we buy or make a new tree decoration to add to it
out side a local supermarket last year they had traditional carol singers anything that makes it special
Wow, Sally, saved a prezzie till Boxing Day!
IDT thanks for sharing. I love the idea of the table presents, that is exactly what my friend does, she has a small family though (two girls and grandma)I agree it is about the build-up. We had a advent candle one year, oh dear that ended up being a real nuisance trying to burn exactly the right amount each night.
Whose children have advent calendars? My friend made me an advent calendar one year, and behind each window was a picture or cartoon to do with little jokes or situations we had shared over the years. I loved it!
Who gets dressed up for Xmas day? one family I know all have matching Xmas jumpers!
I used to get dressed up, but that was in the days when my parents and the in-laws all came over. It did make Christmas feel more special somehow. I don't now its just me and the children...
Sparklinglime - are your parents no longer around? Sorry if I've asked you this before
x
I've lost my parents GoodEnoughMum
My Dad died in 1991, two and a half weeks before my oldest was born.
My Mum died just before Christma 1996. They were both 67.
I was so lucky as I got on so well with them both, and Christmas seemed to matter more back then... Not that my lot realise that. They love it and are already plannning it!
Hi Sparklinglime
Thanks for filling me in. Sorry to hear your parents are dead and especially your Mum dying around Christmas must make if very hard.
I do struggle with what I think Christmas is which is what I grew up with - having a lot of people around. This year will be strange just being the three of us but I am embracing it more since we've been talking on this thread and the other one.
The boys may go to my Mum's Boxing Day as well and their Dad wants to see them a bit extra too so I'm just going to focus on making Christmas Day special.
I like everyone's ideas - I hate shopping but actually going to the shops with all the lights, especially out local garden centre, can be quite Christmassy.
Thanks for all the ideas folks!
x
I think anyone who has lost someone close near Christmas has an extra challenge at that time of year, HUGS to sparkling lime.
Gem, yes it is about expectation....one of the things I always say is that it is only adults that invest 25th December with this emotional significance. Children are really happy to have a fun day, some prezzies and lots of excitement, which can involve home-made decorations, a cheap advent calendar, music, carrots for the reindeer and a Chrisitngle service. In a way we have to become marketing managers; it's how we "sell" the package to the child in a positive manner and even get involved and excited ourselves
I usually take the girls to the cinema on xmas eve to watch a cheesey xmas film, after we have a laugh about how cheesey it was and compare it to others we've seen. Its become a bit of a tradition.
We always put a carrot, mince pie and a drink out for santa and the reindear, even though I know my girls don't believe anymore they still want to do it. They both have a stocking which hangs on their door handle which is from 'santa'. when they wake they come into my room and they open them on my bed. After that we go downstairs to see what is under the tree.
I always get dressed up on christams day and the girls always have a new outfit too, the shopping trip for that is usually good fun.
The cost of christmas is always a worry. This year we have decided to have a 'secret santa' for the adults with a set amount of money we will spend. That way everyone only has to buy one gift. Food shopping I cover by saving all my clubcard points from Tesco and Sainsbury and using them towards that cost.
What a fab idea to have the secret santa for the grown ups!
I love the idea of the cheesy Christmas film. I want to dress up on the day, in fact you have inspired me to think about An Outfit Have been doing online surveys to earn extra Nectar points to help with the food shopping too.
Dreading Christmas this year as it will be my first without L. Because of this a friend is taking me to London for the week around Christmas which my family aren't very happy about as normally spend Christmas with them but really didn't fancy a normal Christmas without L being there it seemed wrong. Not really decided what to do about when to have our Christmas as we aren't seeing family till new years day which is my parents 50th wedding anniversary so seems unfair on them to try and fit L's family Christmas in on that day so who knows
Hi zippy,
Great to see you
I understand what you are saying, could you have a mini Christmas with L on your own, before or after the big day? Then maybe you could ask your family what they want to do in terms of their wedding anniversary.
That's what I was thinking about Christmas my mum and dad want to take the family out for a meal to celebrate their anniversary on new years day but my sister in law wants to keep L's presents from her side of the family for him to open on new years day which I don't think is fair really
My children get their presents from family scattered up to New Year because of everyones schedules, they don't seem to mind, it just makes Christmas last that bit longer. Hope you find a way that works for you.
Think I may of mainly sussed it out although something or someone is likely to throw a spanner in the works I'm sure but hopefully all will go to plan. Just got to sort out the emotional wreck of myself now
Iv decided on dressing the children up smart/ party clothes we will all have a new outfit
i thought it seemed a bit pointless as I won't see no one else Xmas day but then I thought that the children would feel special
so that's important to me, my 4 boys age 2,4,6,10 will all fit in the same from next so they will match I would not normaly do this.
my friends a signal mum shes taking here's to the snow dome not sure that its called, on Xmas eve to build up to it.
Zippy i hope it all goes to plan.
IDT i'm sure the kids will love it, we dress up for Christmas Day the kids like to make the dining table fancy too, they like to use the fancy glasses, the girls make place cards and put out napkins, placemats, candles, and crackers etc.
IDT - I used to have matching outfits for my lot (although daughter had a pinafore, while the boys had shorts), in lime green and navy (sounds awful, but they looked gorgeous), or all in Welsh rugby shirts, so that I could spot them when out and about. When you're on your own with four, i just found it easier.
Ooh I am loving hearing about the outfits! I am sure they will love dressing up, IDT. You are making me think about what I might wear myself, what about you, will you put on your best?
It sounds as if many of you try to think of different ways to make it a special day. I think that's a wonderful idea
Sparkling its just so special isn't it ;)
Yes i feel my kids don't have family around on Xmas so I I'm trying to create a special feeling the magic, if we layed around all day in our onesys there no special feeling! Just comfort ;) I guess it's like compensating them for what they don't have.i want their day to be fab this year, next year their with him and iv already planned what I'm doing for them ;) on Boxing Day.
yes I'm having a new outfit will be skinnys I can wear again and a Xmas top sparkly or something ;)
I just looked at the current poll: My problem with Christmas (apart from that I am working long days on Christmas and Boxing Day) is that I can't seem to keep the family together. No 1 son may or may not be around, No 2 son will be, probably, but won't join in, No 3 son can't really stand to be in the house for more than an hour, and daughter is also always out, now she's a 'proper' teenager.
So especially at Christmas I feel I have failed in my parenting that there is no proper sense of belonging for any of them and that none of them want to spend time with me really.
Can you speak with them about organising some together time over the holidays when your not working, even if it's only for a couple of hours.
I know that it is difficult with them all wanting to do there own thing. I would hold any gifts hostage until my lot were all together, sometimes you have to play dirty 
HA Sally, good idea, I agree it is hard when they just want to wander off or won't get out of bed to join in or were out so late on Christmas Eve that quite frankly you wish they WOULD stay upstairs.
I remember the Christmas when I was 15. I poured scorn on all my lovely gifts, told my family they were boring, went out for half the day and spent the rest of it in my bedroom, telling them I was so fed up that I would rather do my Geography homework than be with them. Were my parents bad parents? no, I was just a horrid 15 year old and I know I hurt my parents terribly and when I grew up I realised this and even apologised. Hope this is of some comfort for those who are struggling with this.
Having four children and a big family i have to start early with gift shopping so that i can spread the cost and save myself some stress, in the last few years i have also started making my own things, chocolates, biscuits, jams and knitted items etc and the kids get involved too with decorating and labels.