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hiya, my 3 and a half year old daughter has become very violent and aggressive towards me and i don't know what to do. she smacks, pushes, pinches, punches, kicks and even throws things at me. i put her in time out (which takes a long time) and she will calm down and say sorry, then, for example, if she asks me for something and i tell her no and explain why she can't have something, she will do it all again. im really struggling here. any tips will be appreciated
Hello Laura A,
sparkling is spot on when she says patience is key in your situation - not a great deal of comfort to you at the moment I guess! Another thing you should avoid is giving your little girl mixed messages, so doing the same thing each time she kicks up a fuss is also important, no matter what the circumstances.
I thought you might find it useful to read a thread posted by one of the other One Spacers - I've inserted a link here. If you have a poke about further in this section (Parenting Support) I'm sure you'll turn up other related posts too.
The best of luck - let us know how things are going for you when you get chance.
M x
Hi Laura A, welcome to One Space from me 
I am wondering what is going on for her to take things to the extreme and I am also wondering what is going on for you?
rudimentary mary posted a link to another thread and I want to point you in another direction too, have a look at this.
What do you think after reading these comments? Will you try new tactics? Will you consider a parenting programme?
There are many reasons why a child might misbehave, just remember at your daughters age, she really won't like the feeling.
hiya, thanks for the advice. i really appreciate it 
. she has actually stopped all the hitting after i sat down with her (after so many tries) and had a heart to heart. she was not too sure why she was doing this and after alot of apoligies, kisses and cuddles she promised she won't do it again and it worked. yay lol
she has been asking about her dad alot recently saying she wishes he was here, that she has a mummy and daddy together doing lots of fun things, taking her places and for her to be loved by him. he is not around and only held her once when she was 8 weeks and 3 days old. she remembers this memory which is heartbreaking when she talks about it. he was violent towards me in the street when he asked to meet me (she was around 4 months old and was asleep at the time in her buggy and was the last time i ever saw him after the incident)
sorry, i know i havent been on here alot but just had to get that out :|
Hi Laura A, you are more than welcome to pop in whenever you feel like it!
I am so glad to read that the hitting has stopped, it is such a horrible phase isn't it.
We have a list of books that may be useful for you to read to your daughter, go to Books for our Younger Children and see if any grab your attention.
It is painful when our children ask for their other parent, but experience has taught me that more often than not it is to catch our attention rather than because they are missing something they have ever had. What do you think?
thanks :) i am glad she got out of it quickly.
thank you, i'll have a look.
yeah that's what i was thinking actually. when her friends at nursery talk about their dad's doing nice things with them, she just wants that feeling as well. i have said to her im your mummy and your daddy and she gives me a big smile
Another tip I can pass on which has worked for my friend (estranged from her family for very good reasons) when her girls ask why they don't have any family like other people, she has always said we have chosen our OWN family, and lists the family friends they have in their lives (I am an "auntie"!)
thanks Louise :)
hi laura my little girl is 2 half she is at the moment avin total tantrum bcos i wont ler her sit on top if the kitchen work surface, she bin screamin for 10 min, she asnt bin to bad recently but she does throw er toys at me or the dog, she screams very loud, she as tantrums, she hits the poor dog,she hits er brother, sooner she back at nursery in sept the better lol
so ur little girl doesnt see er dad, ,y little girl doesnt either, shes not allowed to thru court, she as said daddy twice, i feel awful, it is heartbreakin but its not our fault they dont see their dad x
You can only do what you can do, it is about keeping things steady for the children
Hi kiera, how do you manage your daughters behaviour when she starts screaming and hitting the dog/her brother?
Hi
You're doing the right thing. The hardest thing is remaining patient. I'm sure you are, but she needs to be stopped at the first hint of it.
With my oldest, he went through an aggressive phase - possibly the same age (he's 21 now!!). My Mum suggested that I turned him away from me and made him hit the cushion on one of the chairs - it did work with him, luckily.