Hi Shell87
Welcome along and I agree with mary's comments.
If her dad is not paying any child support then go through Child Maintenance Options.
The name-changing thing....whatever her biological dad says, she can choose to change it herself when she is 16
Hi
I'm wondering how old your daughter is, and how often does she stay with her Dad?
I know that my lot, when their Father started to cancel contact as he had his then girlfriend over with her children, saying there was no bed, would have quite happily have slept on the floor or the settee as they did want to be there.
The thing I did object to though was my daughter sleeping in the same bed as her Dad when she was 12...
There were a lot of things that were said to my lot, and really it does have to be dealt with so carefully as if you're going against everything her Dad is telling her, then you are adding to the emotional conflict she is having to deal with.
I'm sorry if that sounds like an awful thing to say, but it was said to me. It made me stop and realise that I was making things harder for my children. That is when letters were sent to ex and I didn't involve my children at all.
Simple things such as 'it's a shame that you're feeling sad about this' and giving here loads of hugs and love can show you are listening to her. Its just in my case, when I didn't comment it did seem to help as they settled down to being home quickly.
Contact was changed to one night a week instead of every other weekend, which also helped my children.
I hope that she's old enough to be listened to with all that's going on in Court.
However hard it is for you, if you are able to be as positive as you can with your daughter about her Dad, however you feel, it will help her.
As for the father of my children, he met someone else and contact broke down with contact being cancelled at the very last second at times, which led to very unhappy children. Then it stopped all together, which left my lot very sad, but more settled.
Loads of hugs for your daughter, and keep strong. I hope you're not waiting too long for the court case.
Maintenance has been an ongoing thing with me. CSA deal with things.
Well as a grown man, why would he not sleep on sofa and give the child his bed?
Good point seriouslyannoyed!
Hi shell87, how are you doing? When are you next due in court?
Hello shell87,
Welcome to One Space.
It sounds as though your daughter's father is doing his best to manipulate what she says and thinks. Your comment above gives me the impression that she is only little - am I right in thinking that?
You say you are involved in an ongoing court case - can you tell me a bit more about where things are at present? What has your solicitor said about the situation?
No matter what age she is at, I agree she should have an appropriate bed if she is spending nights at your ex partners house. What has he said about why your daughter does not have a bed at his home?
Mary