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My ex relationship was abusive and I tolerated this situation for far too many years, I am now divorced and have moved on with a new a relationship and things were great, I was looking forward to sharing my life with a wonderful new man, we have booked a great wedding venue and finally my life was falling into place.
My future Hubby has received some messages about me on the dreaded Facebook,these are faceless messages from a fake profile all derogatory regarding my past and all aimed at humiliating me, I know this is probably my Ex who was an abusive bully and sexual predator, I feel this is another attempt at control and humiliation and guess what?? He is getting the reaction he would love as it has caused friction between myself and h2b, I am gutted that this person still believes he has the right to do this to me. After years of not having to put up with his bullying this has shook me to the core. I don't want to or feel as though I should not have to put up with behaviour from anyone, EVER!!! Does anyone know if it is criminal offence to send these messages, is FB legislated to protect users from these trolls??
I cannot believe that this thing has reared it's ugly head in my life again !!!
Not a happy day :(((
Awww Murray, that's so sad.
I agree with lrh, and hope that your partner can see this is plain and simple mean, and will calm down and see what's going on here.
Loads of hugs from me too.
Hi Murray72
I dont know the ins and outs of Facebook but this person certainly needs blocking. You can also contact Facebook and if it continues it can become a police matter.
I totally uinderstand how it must feel like a nasty blast from the past but what concerns me more is that it has caused problems between you and your new man. If the boot was on the other foot, and you got some nasty messages about him, would you believe them? It's really important that the two of your trust each other and work as a team on this one.
Let us know how you get on.
Thanks guys, excellent advice as always.
I am determined that I will not allow my past to dictate my future and I am going to fight tooth and nail to keep hold of the best relationship I have ever had, for the first time in my adult life I am in a loving and equal relationship.
I am still angry but I do not want that to eat away at me.
My Ex is subject to a Sexual Prevention Order so I am going to speak to the PVP dept at the Police station on Monday. I am sure he has restrictions to Internet access.
Hi Murray,
Sorry to hear of your predicament. God some ex's are just determied to cause us hassell for the rest of our lives!
I feel for both you ad your h2b as I know from past experience that no matter how much a new partner can love/trust you there are some things that an ex can do that they can still struggle with - even when they know the history of the relationship. I had a VERY tense 12 months a few years ago with my current partner after my ex saw us in the street and after he told my partner (and everyone else in the vicinity) just how "dirty" and "up for it" I am, he informed us both that he had the videos to prove it and that he will be soon making me a star by publishing them on the internet! I went through absolute terror for months at the fear and humiliation and to top it off my partner told me that if such video did surface he just wouldnt be able to handle it. I was at an absolute loss as to what I could do to save my relationship if it happened and felt like yet again the ex had taken control of my life. Luckily nothing came of it and 5 years later my current partner says he is pretty much ready and prepared for anything my ex could throw our way, so I guess in the end we CAN reclaim our lives no matter what these vile ex's try to do.
Good luck hun, I'll be thinking of you.
Littleangel.
Thank you so much for your post, much of what you have said rings true with my situation, and could have written it myself. I know I am ready to handle anything the Ex throws at me, I just hope my h2b is.
I have dealt with the past and know my ex has lost his power over me, I have faced him in court and risen above his many attempts at causing trouble previously, it just gets frustrating after 3 years of been free.
Once again thank you for the post.
Staying positive.
I am glad my post help you. I know just how hard it is to create a life for yourself when an ex like ours is hellbent on causing trouble. And as a woman to have somebody be so derogatory about you can be very humiliating and I think it takes some strength for our partners to be able to handle it.
I hope your h2b can get on board with you, I would be lying if I said me and current partner didnt still have some rows over him and we been together 5 1/2 years. The difference now is we both recognise what my ex is trying to do and after we have had a row we will go back to being all happy and in love knowing that is the only real way to get at my ex.
Hi Murray72, I am sorry to hear what you are facing, please let us know what the Police said, how Facebook are able to help you. Especially with the recent story in the news
Victim of facebook abuse wins High Court backing to reveal the identities
Of course your h2b's feathers will be ruffled if these messages are of a sexual nature. How is he today?
Hi Anna.
Things are a lot calmer now and h2b is brighter, he understands ex is been malicious.
Hopefully things will get back on track.
Thanks for the link, I understand from speaking to Police Facebook is an easy place for these internet trolls to hide and bully from a distance. Glad to see this is been challenged.
I felt so sad when reading this post :( poor u and your partner...i agree with all the replies and think obviously when you got with your partner he knew you had a past and I gather he has some kind of one too. Sadly we know that some times our past comes back and bites our bum weather it's our fault or not, sadly this is just life...I agree that your partner should block these messages or there is a setting where he can stop people he doesn't know from messaging him all together, I can see your fella might find it annoying that he has to do this but I'm sure he wants the messages to stop too. Your partner should know you well enough to not believe the messages to stop as well and just rise above them, if he replies then he's giving the sender exactly what they want- don't feed the fire and the best of luck, try not to get it get you down. There's very sad people in the world x
Murray, Glad thing are looking better for you. You cant necessarily stop your ex if he is determined to have an impact in your life but if you have a partner who understands and is able to cope with what your ex throws your way than that can make the world of difference. Be patient with h2b too as some things can be difficult for partners especially when they know how much your ex has already put you through, but eventually he will be able to shrug it all off.
Big hugs x
Hi Murray72, glad to hear that h2b is brighter, as littleangel says, he has a lot to take in and deal with himself, often men feel very challenged with this sort of situation and they have no way of retaliating.
Did the Police suggest that there was anything you could do?
I just wanted to give a bit of an update to those that have advised me.
H2b and I have sorted out all our issues regarding Malicous ex, and we were not the only recipients of these messages, so when police investigated futher it turns out that the messages were sent from his new girlfriends home and using her PC, so either it was him or her, somehow she has taken the blame for it, but once a bullying pyschopath always one, so somehow she will be the one prosecuted and not him.
Anyway to cut a long story short I heard on the grapevine 3 of her 4 Children are now in Foster Care I can assume she would not accept the risk ex posed on her Kids and now she is paying the ultimate price. (he is subject to an SPO)
As for myself I am happy to say that wedding plans are full steam ahead for October and the Cherry on the cake is I am now 9 weeks pregnant. I have never felt so happy, contented and safe in my adult life.
So apologies for not posting recently but thanks for all the advice.
Hi Murray72, thank you for the update. It sounds as though things are going very well for you.
I feel sorry for the woman that has gotten involved with your ex, they should come with health warnings shouldn't they!
Good luck with your pregnancy, don't forget us, we are here whenever you want to pop in 
firstly I would say for your partner to block this person but if you go into facebook and look under help and type in abuse it comes up with what to do - is your new partner believing these messages?
does your new partner not understand that these messages are designed to do all of what you write above
I guess what I am saying is you can't really ever get away from your past but the two of you can reach an agreement that it will never affect your future together - can you talk it over with your new partner - I understand how upsetting it must be for you in particular but your ex will win if you let him - you can never control what he does but you can control your reaction to it - sending you a hug and hope others will be along with some helpful advice