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Good morning,
it seems I have a new problem!
No2 son's girlfriend of eight months finished with him. (He'll be 17 in a couple of months). I never got to meet her at all. I think this happened just as we got back from the Christmas break.
The day before yesterday and yesterday he seemed ok, and said he was, until last night about ten o'clock he suddenly stormed out of the house, ignoring No3 son's questions about what the matter was.
I texted No3 son who replied he wasn't coming back home and was going to stay out all night and he was crying. I got (all via text - maybe the physical distance got him to communicate at all) out of him that not only had she left him (his words), also she was seeing someone else and she was talking bad stuff about my son, and 'it gets so much worse' (I couldn't find out what that was).
He was adamant he wasn't going to come home and was just going to wander about (it was quite stormy last night), even though I gave him a time and said I'd call the police if he didn't come home. I promised him peace and quiet at home, but still he didn't want to come.
When I explained to him that he was my responsibility and I had to make sure he was safe and if I didn't know he was, I'd worry and then would do rubbish today at uni, he immediately asked if I could come to get him: he had walked almost 3 miles by then along an A road! I did, and he got in the back and still cried all the way home. We just sat in the car for a while when we got back, without saying anything, until he was ready to come in.
I've promised him today off school (not good really, there's so much work for him to do), so he can recover a little bit.
But now, what do I do? How do I help him? Obviously, I know it's going to get better - been there and all that - but he won't believe me at the moment, will he?
sending a hug to you and your son x
Awww. It's so hard when their hearts get broken. Only had this with eldest.
Loads of hugs.
Hi Hopeful, my daughter has just been dumped by her first boyfriend too, she says she doesn't want to talk about it and she is ok, but if I ask her how she is, she just wells up. She has cried on my shoulder but seems to be stuck on her mobile txting her cousin and she has support from her friends.
All we can do is be there for themand give a little bit of extra TLC and understanding. I found that by saying to her that this is one of the most painful things we have to go through, seemed to help
Look after you
Aww Anna! And you know exactly how they feel, and that it's alright and will get better, but you can't tell them. I let my son have yesterday off (goes absolutely against my principles, but I thought he needed it) and he seems better. He is talking to friends, too, so hopefully this will just blow over. He says he feels 'meh' (is that a new word?), but ok.
You look after you, too! (Maybe I should write you another poem.... x)
All poems greatfully received Hopeful!
I haven't told her that it will get better actually, but I did tell that if one door closes another door opens. She has just gone ice skating with her girls and then pizza and sleepover.
I have to say that girls are much better at look after each other than boys, from what I can gather!
My daughter also uses 'meh', I take it to mean 'bleurgh/nothing/whatever and who knows' all rolled into one!!
Teenage language, a selection:
Pants = awful
Random = bizarre
Rents = parents
Pwned (pronounced "pooned") = defeated. Can be used as in "I am being pwned by this essay" OR when you have won an argument you can say "pwned" to the other person. Alternatives to "pwned" include "merked" and "treh"
Oh! I don't think I know these apart from 'pants' and 'random' (they say random all the time). No3 son and daughter talk sort of properly and No2 son grunts: 'huh' 'huhuhuh' etc. the 'meh' was on a text. 'yh' means yeah - too lazy to even type out four letters.
Mayby I need a dictionary! :-)
No I don't think so, it is just something that sort of seeps through into your consciousness in the end......
My fifteen (sixteen tomorrow!!) year old actually says lol instead of laughing!!!!!!!!!!!
Drives me nutzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Oh, my youngest does that too, sparkling, I have only just realised now you have said it. Happy Birthday to your boy!
How is your son doing, Hopeful?
He seems ok now. I think the day off and the big crying episode have done him good. :-)
It's his birthday on the 27th - he says he doesn't know what he wants to do.....
Am still considering the teenage-speak dictionary.
Yes, I am sure you're right.
There will be plenty more to add to the dicitonary as we go along 
Those words are wonderful
Hope your son is okay Hopeful.
My daughters latest word is peng - meaning handsome/gorgeous!! ha ha!
I mean, really, how are we meant to know what they mean?? I'll see if my daughter knows that one
just asked No2 son who's sitting next to me - he doesn't know 'peng'.
Teacher I work with is 'peng'
Hahahaha!!!
Ha, Hazeleyes, I like that!!! :-)
Hazeleyes.....teehee peng!!! Well I have never heard of that one, I will ask my Oracle when I see him. He went on a sleepover last night, wearing the infamous beanie hat.....and a part of jama trousers. Did not look very peng!!
Ah, but maybe his mates disagree with you? (and me?) After all, we are quite old in their book....
Yes I am definitely an oldie...and not very peng 
I am sure we ARE very peng! Old is the new young! There, I've said it! :-)
Teehee......or in my case "wrinkly" is the new "peng"
I was watching a programme last night with my daughter and was horrified to hear that many boys call girls - Gashes. Has anyone else heard of this? My daughter said it was reasonably common at her school
Will investigate and report back! Just got home to empty house, and by the time they get back I'll be out again....
Ooh not heard of that one. Have just asked son about peng and it is used up here too, I asked him what the opposie of peng is and he saig "grim"
That's me grim!!!
Noooooooo
No2 son says he's never heard of 'gashes' 
Unfortunately my son has heard of gash and says it is from the Inbetweeners 
oooh that Inbetweeners has a lot to answer for. I keep hearing that it is really good and very popular. I have only seen very brief clips and I just don't understand the hype. Anyone here 'love' the programme?
It is actually rather funny....
Never seen it. No2 son loves Misfits though...
Hi Hopeful, no he won't believe you.
I think you handled this situation really well, by the way. I am sure you are right that he found it easier to communicate from a distance. You also had a brainwave in getting him to think of YOU as a reason to come home.
Teens are more likely to talk to their friends than to us, we know that. Does he have any decent friends who can give him some support?
All you can do is be there if he needs you (tell him this) and take opportunities to praise anything you can about him to boost his confidence. Keep a watchful eye if his low mood goes on more than three or four weeks, but in the meantime don't criticise the girl (I know you didn't meet her but if it was me I would be "how dare anyone do this to my son!") and don't give him the (true) verdict that he will get over it, just acknowledge what he tells you and say you understand.