Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Ok i currently live with my partner who has informed me she will be moving out after xmas...i'm over that but my problem is i don't know what to do next...
i have been at home for almost 2 years with a stress/depression related illness i am currently receiving esa although not for much longer as the government deem me fit to work which i am appealing but dont hold out much hope as they dont seem to consider mental illnesses a problem but again i'm over that!
Because i have been at home i have been looking after my 2 year old daughter and 14 year old son. i am still employed as in my company have kept my job open but i dont receive an income. my soon to be ex-partner has been working 3 jobs to keep us afloat but obviously will take her income with her. she is going to cut down on her worl load once she has gone and claims she wont be able to afford to pay any money toward our daughter and to be honest i dont want her too.
I just dont know how i will be able to pay the rent or even put money for gas in the meter! She claims housing benefit at the moment but that doesn't cover our rent which is £1200 a month, i don't think i could bare moving the children again as we have only been here 6 months. She seems to think the council will pay the rent but i just cant face speaking to anybody there yet. So i will be incomeless with two kids in a house i cant afford! I understand childcare is so expensive that my old salary wouldn't leave much after paying it certainly not enough for rent too so i'm just confused about what to do next? i have people telling me it's not worth going back to work as i will be worse off and other people saying it's the only option...i don't want hand outs i just want to be able to support the kids and keep them in their home and school etc Any advise from people that have been or are in similar situations would help just to give me an idea of what to expect.
Many thanks, Darren.
lakendarren, welcome to One Space
I am sorry to hear about the circumstances that you find yourself in.
To get you going I was thinking perhaps visit this Benefits Checker to see what you are entitled to.
Your soon to be ex, will still be financially responsible for both your children, so have a look at CMoptions to see how much Child Maintenance the children are entitled to, I notice that you say that you don't want her to pay for your daughter, but if you are living on a low income, this money will be necessary.
It sounds as though your rent is quite high, I can hear you are resistant to the idea of moving however if this is to be a new start for the 3 of you, perhaps finding accommodation that you can afford, would be a good beginning.
How is your son coping with this news, does he know yet?
Thank you for taking the time to reply Colie, yes both of the children will be staying with me...just checked the LHA rates and they are £265.38 per week :(
Thanks Anna well my son is from a previous so she's not his mum, she says she wont be able to pay because she wont be able to afford too and to be honest i cant get into that with her it will just cause problems, i have a feeling she will move back with her family and give up her jobs. i'm better off without any involvement with her. I haven't told my son and will wait till after the xmas holiday for obvious reasons. i guess if i'm working the tax credit may help but i had a friend in a similar situation and she said she would rather stay at home and look after her son rather than work in a job she didn't enjoy and pay the bulk of her wages for someone else to look after her son, she even went as far to say that she is better off money wise being on benefits staying at home until her son is old enough to go full time at school, she doesn't get a penny from her ex. I don't know if i agree with that but i do understand where she's coming from, the thought of someone else doing what i do now with my daughter is a horrible thought...
Hello again, that works out as £1150 a month, if you could get child support it would only be an extra £50 a month to cover the rent.
You'll be entitled to 70% of childcare costs paid for and if you speak to a lone parent advisor at your local jobcentre they will be able to show you exactly how much more you would get working after covering the benefit losses, which might help you decide what to do for the best.
You'll be entitled to claim income support until your little girl is 5 so don't feel pressured into working if you're not ready.
Hi
Are child benefit or child tax credits in your name? If not will she agree to these being changed to your name? It will make a difference with regards to claiming benefits.
If you don't feel able to face this alone, and I do appreciate how daunting all of this can be, do go to the Citizens Advice Beaurau (which I can never spell) who will be able to give you advice and help with completing forms.
Do let her pay maintenance for your daughter. Even £5 a week can make a difference.
Thank you for your advice guys, i will look into it more after i get xmas out of the way. It's a great help knowing there are people like you willing to take the time out of your day to reply, many thanks, Darren.
Hello lakendarren
Just to say that it sounds like you are going to have to move to a cheaper house, sorry but that it what it looks like. Your daughter's mum will have to pay child support; even if she was on benefits this would be £5 a week!
Yes, you can be on Income Support until your daughter is 5 and this could be the way to go....or alternatively would your present employer let you go part time? You only need to work 16 hours to access Working Tax Credit. If you decide to stay at home then be aware that when your daughter is five, you will be expected to find work and indeed pressurised to do so, so if you do decide to stay at home, make really good use of the time and get some job-related training so that you are able to get a job more easily when you move back into the jobs market.
It is sad that there are so many important decisions to take when you are in a emotional place. How has this affected you in terms of your stress/depression? Do see your GP.
Hello, I'm sorry to hear you're to be a single parent. If the children stay with you, you can claim child benefit, child tax credits, housing benefit and council tax credits. google ''local housing allowance rates'' for your area but I don't think you'll get 1200 a month, I'm on a 2 bedroom rate (I think you will be a 3 bed) and I'm entitled to 400 a month. If you go back to work you will be better off as you will get working tax credits. I hope this helps a little, hopefully someone with more experience will come along to explain things better :-)