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Hi,
I am a new single mum, looking for like wise people in the coventry area.
I don't have many friends as they have taken my ex's side and it makes life very lonely.
My husband cheated on me with my best friend and is insistant that I pushed him away. He seems to have it all planned an currently is very mentally manipulative & controlling.
I feel very vulnerable when he is around as he knows I am in fear of him.
He doesn't have a very good track record & can be violent plus the fact the is a big drinker makes his temper worse.
Life seems to have ended for me. I love my little boy to pieces but being stuck at home with no friends makes me soangry and upset.
I would like to make new friends and also for my little boy to interact with other children but it is so hard when your a single mum to manage money & have a social life.
I see a counsellor already but don't have any friends to talk to. My little boy goes to my parents as i can't afford to put him in nursery.
I'm trying to claim child tax credits but thats all i can claim for. Fortunatly my ex is still paying towards the house but I can't see him paying for too much longer as we are not on speaking terms and he wants to see A whilst he's with his new girlfriend and I'm not keen.
Hello again Caroline81
Yes it does seem to be very early for A's dad to be introducing him to a new girlfriend!
Did you read the article about making new friends? Do you go to toddler groups etc? you can meet other parents and their children there, everyone is in the same situation and it is easier as there are the children to talk about. Ask your Health Visitor what is available in your area. Would you consider doing things at your local church? Even if you are not very religious there is often a ready made social life there!
You should be able to claim Income Support as well as Child Tax Credits. What is your housing situation, is it a rented house or do you have a mortgage? Click here to email our Money expert, tell them your situaiton and they will be able to tell you what to do.
Hello Caroline81
Can empathise with you being lonely and broke etc. What i did pick up on is that you said
"I feel very vulnerable when he is around as he knows I am in fear of him.
He doesn't have a very good track record & can be violent plus the fact the is a big drinker makes his temper worse".
I was wondering if you had contacted anyone about this? you could also take a look at this link for the Freedom Programme this is a free online course on the One Space site for women that have been in abusive/controlling/violent relationships.
Hope you take a look at the link and let me now if you think that it would be something useful for you!!
Hello Caroline81
You are very welcome here
Yes, it is hard to start all over again and sometimes after a separation it can feel like that. For you, you have had the double whammy of husband and best friend....this has left a big hole in your life. You have every right to feel angry and hurt about this! Have you got someone to talk to about your feelings? If not then a few sessions with a counsellor (through your GP) could help as otherwise those feelings can fester within you.
On a practical level, have you put in benefit claims? Have you had some legal advice? I presume you are going to look at divorce proceedings are you?
Is your boy at nursery? There are loads of things you can do to improve things, but you need to realise that it won't happen overnight, and also that only YOU can do it.....so many people say how lonely they are and it is a massive problem for single parents but there is not going be a knock on the door with a queue of new friends for ANY of us, we have to make things happen oourselves, read this article about Making New Friends, which has got lots of ideas about what to do.
There is certainly good online company here, join in the Chat section whenever you feel ready