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September 2012 Chit Chat

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

That weather's travelling our way... Hope it dumps a load of rain your way first Laughing

Posted on: September 23, 2012 - 8:29pm
pancakequeen
DoppleMe

Morning,

Not having a very good start to my day. A's strop continued all last night and has spilled into today. Apparantly everything that is wrong in her life is my fault. I tried to talk to her but she just yelled at me, I said that although I was happy to discuss her issues with her I wasn't going to take her abuse, this was the wrong thing to do too. She's gone off to school in a major mood and I left for work crying....aagghh...she's not even a teenager yet Yell

Posted on: September 24, 2012 - 8:46am
Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Good morning all!

pancakequeen, this used to happen with my daughter, I would spend half my day being upset that she was upset and then she would get home and all would be fine.

It sounds as though you could do with some girly time, if poss. Do you know why she is upset? Shouting is never good for anyone, we tend to do it when we are scared or feel like we are losing control and not being heard. Perhaps a kind gentle evening ahead?

So hazeleyes is it school today for C, or has the wind picked up too much??!

Well done for winning the scarecrow competition sparkling, how is the head today? I put up a list of our household costs up on the wall a couple of weeks ago, so now when my daughter talks about i-phones, cars, laptops etc, also for her to know that once she has a job (albeit part time) that she is going to be contributing to the cost of rent, wifi, gas, elec, etc etc etc! She is amazed how much things cost, but I am hoping she is realising that life aint cheap!!

Lady T, hope you get another ride in today?

Louise enjoy your day off, any posh coffees or is it all lesson planning?

I didn't go running last week, had been on 2 days training and was pooped, I emailed the trainer and now we are in discussion about whether the groupon deal is what he is actually offering. We shall see where that goes... Wednesday is my 40th Surprised Please can everyone go out today and do a sun dance as I have treated myself to go Paragliding! I have always wanted to do it and used to joke that I would for my 40th and now it is here and I have taken the bull by the horns and booked it. But it all depends on the weather Undecided

Look forward to hearing your news, catch up later

Posted on: September 24, 2012 - 10:21am
pancakequeen
DoppleMe

Hi Anna,

I think she may have felt left out as I spent the day with H, just the 2 of us, even though it was her choice to go out for the day with her friend. I'm going to try and factor in some time for just the 2 of us and see if that helps.

Posted on: September 24, 2012 - 12:41pm
saman1354
DoppleMe

hi guys

Posted on: September 24, 2012 - 1:42pm
Sally W
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi All

PQ that sounds like a great idea spending sometime together, does she have something she particularly likes doing?

Anna you go girl "paragliding" rather you than me though just the thought turns my legs to jelly...  Fingers crossed then on Wednesday for good weather, you may want to leave the champers alone til after the jump Tongue Out

Louise hope all is going well with your prep for you parenting group, can empathise with all that planning, i'm running a parenting group at the moment for parents that have children care and have to do masses of prep each week.

Hi saman1354 and welcome to One Space Smile

Glad to hear that C is feeling better hazeleyes

Sparkling i hope those migranes quit bothering you soon.

Why is that if you get up late your running late for the rest of the day!! we had a powercut during the night and was still off when i got up late and had to make packed lunch and everything else by candle light, luckily the camping stove came in handy as i was able to boil water to make a cup of tea, but then i have been miss tardy pants all day - as you can guess i hate being late!!

Hope you all have a great week! 

 

Posted on: September 24, 2012 - 7:02pm
pancakequeen
DoppleMe

Hi Sally,

I hate getting up late, it puts me out for the rest of the day.

Its really difficult knowing what to do with A as she's growing up and doesn't always want to do the things she used to do. We'll probably spend time doing something girlie, like painting nails or doing hair.

Anna, your birthday treat sounds like great fun, hope the weather stays fine for you. My mum and dad went paragliding on a recent trip to new zealand and they loved it.

Posted on: September 24, 2012 - 7:23pm
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Work was okay for me, half day. Picked C up, he'd had a blinding headache all afternoon, his lips were bright red (sure sign he isn't well) He hadn't gone to welfare, or told the teacher, as 'he didn't want to interrupt the lesson'. Did that make me cross? Yes. He was also upset as he'd been told to stand up as he was on the 'bad reading list'. He read over the weekend, which I noted in his book, but obviously not read anything last week, due to him being ill. The teacher was cross with him!! Guess who is ruddy cross with the teacher??? Anyhow, C said he didn't feel so good this morning, so didn't tell me, as he didn't want me losing more money by having to stay at home with him. Life stinks sometimes doesn't it? I am saying no school tomorrow, and I will get him checked out by my GP. I know the flu can take up to 10 days to fully recover, so this of course could be it. Feeling guilty of course, as we do, when our kids hide things from us! Have texted a friend, hoping that come tomorrow and C is off, she'll be able to have him. Over an hour now, and heard nothing. Neighbour rang, and again I told her that I'm truely stuck if I need someone, and AGAIN there is nothing back from her. Totally, totally fed up right now.

Anna, paragliding?? Wow, that sounds great, but not something I could do Surprised If I'm not on line tomorrow or Wednesday, just want to wish you a WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY. Enjoy every minute of your day. Best Wishes xx

pq, hope things are sorted now between you and daughter. She's just being a typical teen, though that doesn't help I know. Sorry.

Sally, nice to see you here, even if you are Miss Tardy today Wink

Hope you've had a good day off Louise.

Sparkling, how's things in your neck of the woods? Hope all is okay with you and yours. xx

Posted on: September 24, 2012 - 7:53pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

We have paragliders our way.  It's always fascinated me - but happy to watch.  I really hope the sun shines and the weather's calm.  Have a wonderful time.

I hope you have a good time with A pq.  In this house I watch Glee and Supernatural which is our quality time!

I hope you're electricity wasn't off too long Sally

Posted on: September 24, 2012 - 8:12pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hazeleyes, sending loads of hugs your way.  I did leave youngest when he was poorly to go and do the wages - but then I could be home in five minutes...  And he knew he could go next door if he needed to (as I'd let my neighbour know).

I wish I knew what the answer was.

I still say the age should have stayed at 16 before having to seek work.  If you have no help it really is awful the situation you're in.  And to think single parents now have to seek work from when the youngest is 5!  No sense at all.

xxxxxxx

Posted on: September 24, 2012 - 8:17pm
pancakequeen
DoppleMe

Hi hazeleys, sorry C is still not well, flu can really take it out of you, especially when you're a child.

A and I have made up now. H saw me cry as I left the childminders and told her, she text me as soon as she got home and said sorry.

Posted on: September 24, 2012 - 10:14pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

(Looks up from urgent Ark-building project) It has rained solidly here for 24 hours Cry Hope the nails don't go rusty! Tongue Out

Hello to one and all

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR ANNA, FOR TOMORROW!!!! I know you are having a few well-deserved days off so enjoy!

PQ you have got over your spat with A, unfortunately there will be more to come as she is starting to get to that age. Special Time is a great idea.

Poor C, hazeleyes and poor you to have to worry about him like this. Hope you had a decent night and are ready to face whatever the day brings.

Sally that was awful doing the packed lunches by candlelight! Hope you got your power on by the time you got home

How are you today, sparkling? Lady T?

Yes I had a posh coffee yesterday, am so predictable. I also put a colour on my hair (have to look my best for possible Ark photocall) and was told by eldest that I wouldn't like a particular Tv programme because "it is not mindless enough for you" Soon put him in his place! Tongue Out they get a bit big for their boots at Uni, methinks.

Have a good day everyone.

Posted on: September 25, 2012 - 8:34am
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Friend was able to have C. I rang Dr and asked that he call me, which he did at lunchtime. Told him what had been going on, and he told me to take him along at 4.30, with a specimen. A thorough examination, told he had a temperature (I wasn't aware, so felt awful) Dr kept checking chest, and I knew something wasn't right. He has detected a heart murmur!! He's on antibiotics, strict instructions no school, if temperature the same on Friday, he needs to see him straightaway. If okay, C has to go back next Tuesday for another thorough examination. Dr said, see what next week brings, and then we can discuss things. Obviously couldn't in front of C, although once he heard the word heart, he started to panic, so told Dr 'No, C worries over the slightest ailment' Rang school, hoping someone would be there. Head answered, and told him cannot come in, explained everything, and he said, C is your priority right now (which of course he is) So, that's my day. Thumping head, going round and round it all, but trying not to worry until next weeks visit. C asked lots of questions on way home, 'was it serious, do I need an operation' and all I could say was, 'look at my face, do I look worried' when all I wanted to do was cry. So, I've said, it's nothing serious, once the antibiotics kick in, we'll just go back and see what Dr says. If we need to go to hospital, then again, everything will be fine.

 

Posted on: September 25, 2012 - 7:53pm
pancakequeen
DoppleMe

Hi Hazeleys,

Good job you took C to the Dr. Whatever happens now he is involved and is looking after him for you. Hopefully it will be nothing, but if it needs looking into further you're better off knowing and being able to do something about it. Sending you positive thoughts xx

Posted on: September 25, 2012 - 8:47pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

xxxx

Posted on: September 25, 2012 - 10:51pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Dear Hazeleyes, the doctor will get a specialist involved if there is any cause for concern and they will do proper tests like a cardiogram. The vast majority of heart murmurs are completely harmless and many, many children will have these detected during routine doctors' visits. However, of course your doctor has to err on the side of caution and that is why he wants to see C again on Tuesday, or before if he is not responding to the antibiotics. Sounds to me that the doctor wants to do the very best for C and that's fantastic. Of course that does not stop you worrying, however much I reassure you. But please do keep reassuring C, however hard it is, as he does have these health anxieties. Take care of yourself and hope the anti bs do their magic Kiss

Hello to one and all and hope you are Ok today, some of our highways and byways up here are closed off with the floods. I expect eldest will try to use that as a reason not to go back to work Wink

 

Posted on: September 26, 2012 - 9:00am
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi all. C is doing okay, and wants me to watch Harry Potter, aarrgghh. Need to nip to corner shop as running out of electric, but will only be gone a matter of mins. As expected he's been asking about the murmur, so I'm reassuring him.

Hope the floods ease off soon Louise. Did eldest go to work?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNA. I know you're off for a few days, so enjoy.

Posted on: September 26, 2012 - 1:25pm
rudimentary mary
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello All,

Am back on the boards while Anna has a few well deserved days off for her 'big' birthday (don't worry Anna, my turn soon!)

hazeleyes, am sorry to hear about C. Please try not to worry too much - sounds like you have a good GP, which is a bonus; there are only two doctors at our practice that I'll see now, and I think there must be 15/16 who work there! Hoping C recovers very soon, that there's no need for a follow up and that you've survived what must be your umpteenth viewing of Harry...

A is playing with a really annoying robot at present, and I'm aware that I'm scowling as I type, so I shall stop (no need to further encourage the emerging wrinkles!) She also claims she can't find some of her Sylvanian animals; I imagine I'll have to locate them in a short while - and no doubt they will be somewhere I suggested she look half an hour ago *Deep calming breaths* At least I managed to get her to the hairdressers earlier. She was adamant she didn't need her hair cutting, but would 'like it dying pink with yellow tips'. I think not - not at 8 years old...

Hope everyone has got through Wednesday relatively unscathed - Louise, let me know how the ark building is going (and if there's enough room to squeeeze in two little 'uns)

Mary

Posted on: September 26, 2012 - 4:46pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I hope the sun shone for Anna... Smile

Posted on: September 26, 2012 - 4:55pm
rudimentary mary
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Me too. It has been pretty miserable weatherwise here all day - though nowhere near as bad as yesterday.

How's your day been, sparkling?

Posted on: September 26, 2012 - 5:02pm
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi R Mary. Nice to 'see' you. You're such a spoil sport over your daughter's hair, hehe.

Snuggled up in bed and watched Harry Potter. Ok, I nodded off for a moment or two, then my text went off, drat!!! So, I stayed awake, and C was delighted I did so Smile

Posted on: September 26, 2012 - 6:56pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Nothing wrong with pink hair... Not sure about the yellow tips though Cool

My daughter's 18 and I still have to battle with her to get her hair cut.  Sorry, I mean persuade...  The hairdresser was very good and gave her a fringe - which she was not impressed about - as it makes her more approachable Laughing

Posted on: September 26, 2012 - 7:48pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hope C is feeling better hazeleyes.  Loads of hugs. xx

Posted on: September 26, 2012 - 7:49pm
pancakequeen
DoppleMe

Happy birthday Anna, hope you got to do your paraglide today.

Hi Mary, lovely to 'see' you again. My A 'lost' her bus pass at the weekend, she asured me she had looked everywhere for it, I then turned the house upside down looking for it, but it was no where to be found. On monday morning I thought I'd just check her blazer pocket and what do you think I found........aghhh!!!

Hope C is much better today hazeleyes, lousie is right about heart murmors, most of them are found incidently and are nothing to worry about, I think your GP is being very thorough, which is how it should be.

I hope you haven't floated away louise, there hasn't been any flooding where I live so I feel a bit disconnected to what is happening elsewhere in the country.

I have had to retype most of my post as my kitten keeps walking on the keyboard...sorry for any spelling mistakes !!

Posted on: September 26, 2012 - 9:46pm
mark66

Are there any single dads wanting any advice or just a chat?

 

Posted on: September 26, 2012 - 10:14pm
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi mark66. Welcome along. There are single dads on here yes. Have you checked out the single dad section?

Posted on: September 27, 2012 - 8:01am
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Good morning all. Well, C's temperature didn't go up yesterday, and though quiet, he's seemed okay. On Monday he was picked to play the leading role for the assembly on Friday. Bless him, he was so excited as you can imagine. On Tuesday, after being told he couldn't go to school, C was upset, and even told the GP about the play!! So, last night, I said to him, that as his temperature was okay, I would leave it entirely up to him as to whether to go to school or not, and he could be in the play. Rehearsals are today. Also said, only he could say how he was actually feeling. To my surprise, he said, he feels exactly the same (which is what he'd been saying last Sunday too) He decided he wouldn't go to school.

Also, don't know if any of this is connected, but weeks ago, he told me he keeps getting stabbing pains in his chest, and at either side. To be honest, I didn't take much notice, as they pass quickly, and don't last for long, matter of minutes. I completely forgot to mention this to GP, as I didn't even think about it. Only on Tuesday, once home, did I recall anything. During a phone call, I'm sure I mentioned it to a friend. Anyhow, I put the pains down to growing pains, indigestion. Now, of course, I'm wondering if this could all be connected? When we see the GP, I shall of course tell him. Feel so stupid, that I didn't act on it before!!!

Posted on: September 27, 2012 - 8:11am
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi hazeleyes, you are not stupid, children are ALWAYS getting this aches and pains and complaining about them. See what the GP says.

Anna hope you had a lovely day Smile

PQ it sounds as if your kitten is still very mischievous!

Hi Mark66, you are welcome in the chatroom

Mary I think your daughter's hair would be very original like that! I once used that hair mascara stuff, to disguse my "Mallen streak" (in the days before I needed an all-over treatment Embarassed) then when it rained.......very embarassing, dark brown liquid running down my forehead.

Sparkling are you having a better week?

Thinking of Hopeful who had her second chemo yesterday

Flooding eased here, have final free facial massage today, hurrah!

Posted on: September 27, 2012 - 8:42am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Enjoy the facial.  I do enjoy a facial - mind you many years since I had one!  I can just picture you walking in the rain, Louise! 

I've hardly seen eldest, so its a better week, thank you.  Just not sure how long for!

Hazeleyes, you have nothing to feel bad about.  As Louise says, they're forever complaining about aches and pains.  The youngest, honestly, is always complaining about something.  Loads of hugs.

 

Posted on: September 27, 2012 - 10:09am
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

I'll be more reassured once Tuesday is here.

Glad you've not seen much of your eldest Sparkling, given you both space from each other, which can only be a good thing right?

Posted on: September 27, 2012 - 4:06pm
rudimentary mary
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

I seems to have been here, there and everywhere today...how's everyone else's Thursday been?

Lots & LOTS of water where I am, so the traffic has been a nightmare as a result.There are a great many frustrated people not getting where they want to quickly enough on the roads!

sparkling, how are things at yours? Still all quiet on the eldest front?!

hazeleyes and Hopeful - sending postive vibes to both of you.

A is at her dad's tonight, so it will be quiet at our house. Another busy day tomorrow, but after that it's the weekend Smile

Posted on: September 27, 2012 - 5:43pm
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Thankyou mary. Hope you have a peaceful night with A at her Dads. Do you have plans when she is away, or just a night in?

Posted on: September 27, 2012 - 7:28pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Just had a marmite sandwich... my lunch really!

Had the scout AGM.  Glad that's out of the way.  The parents were really good and do seem to be concerned about the future of the place.

It took me two and a half hours to get the printer to work.  So we now have a printer - at least of this laptop.  Yeahhhh

Posted on: September 27, 2012 - 9:45pm
mark66

Some how I keep apparently writing double entries on this site?

Posted on: September 27, 2012 - 10:02pm
mark66

Hi everyone

I feel that by accident I have jumped into someone else's chat - sorry about that. I am new to this site and think that I got a bit lost. I am not simply trying to find other dads, any like minded parents of any gender are welcome to chat with me.

Cheers Mark66

Posted on: September 27, 2012 - 9:57pm
mark66

Thank you - it appears that there are a lot of bitter/angry people on here - I assumed that children came first (probably got that wrong with many other parents) - well my son comes first :)

Mark66

Posted on: September 27, 2012 - 10:53pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Good morning, how are we all today?

Mark66 all members are welcome here, this is where we share our day to day stuff Smile

Posted on: September 28, 2012 - 7:45am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hi Mark66

It does depend which thread you're reading and at what someone's going through at the time...

On the whole we're all lovely Laughing and there are Dad's here as well as Mum's.  Good to see  you here.

Posted on: September 28, 2012 - 8:33am
pancakequeen
DoppleMe

Hi Mark66,

I don't think we're angry/bitter people, we have been through or are still going through difficult times. For some of us this is the only place to let out our frustrations and anger and bitterness and not feel judged for it. Glad to hear you put your son first, how old is he?

I've been really tired this week, I'm sure someone snuck in an extra day without me noticing!! Glad its the weekend. My mum and dad are coming down to stay. Its the first time I've spent longer than a couple of hours with them since 'the holiday'. Really looking forward to getting reconnected again.

Hope evryone has had a good week and has something nice to look forward to over the weekend.

Posted on: September 28, 2012 - 8:56am
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Good morning all. Glad you sorted the printer Sparkling (another job out of the way)

Mark, like Sparkling says, it depends what thread you're reading. Of course some people are angry and feel bitter about certain things, but we all put our children first.

Sun is shining here. C is still in bed, but should be waking soon. Washing to be done. Need to do some shopping too (boring)

Hope you all have a good day.

Posted on: September 28, 2012 - 9:01am
mark66

Hi all

I guess that many of the comments written here are able to be read by many children and also by the `other parent` and this concerns me. I would assume that most people that write on a site like this have been through big problems (I know my son and I have).

The point that I am trying to make is that not all parents do put their children first, for anyone to state that it is obvious (that they think that all parents do) is very patronising and probably very wrong!

I am a dad that has had to fight very hard to protect my son and it is very rare that a court takes a child away from a mum and places the child with his dad - but this is my case. I am not able to go into details.

I will take a look at the `dads` section as well, but not finding it very easy to find my way around on here.

On the whole I am finding this site very interesting, but still a bit concerned why some of the parents don't use official channels to get to the bottom of their respective situations.

M66

Posted on: September 28, 2012 - 10:19am
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

It's not too bad to find your way around after a while.  I tend to go back to discussions on the left hand side and look down the columns.

My lot know I post on "a" forum, but would never have the interest to read through it.  Adult stuff bores them - and I include the 20 year old (sadly) here Smile

I find that a lot of people who post on here will ask a question and the parent specialists give brilliant advise and direct them to the official channels, and the leave happy...  Others I find seem to have been frustrated and failed by official channels.

 

Posted on: September 28, 2012 - 11:55am
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Speaking for myself, I wouldn't give a hoot if the absent parent was reading what I wrote. As for children reading the posts, it's the parents job to make sure they aren't surely!! My ten year old knows that I'm on a single parent forum, and he's not remotely interested in it, unless there's something nice said about him of course Smile

 

Posted on: September 28, 2012 - 12:35pm
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Deep breaths Cool

Posted on: September 28, 2012 - 12:38pm
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Sitting here paying some bills off, not liking it at all Frown

Posted on: September 28, 2012 - 12:40pm
pancakequeen
DoppleMe

Bill paying....yuk!

How's C today hazeleyes?

Posted on: September 28, 2012 - 1:20pm
sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Just had the "old" car MOTd.  Took the Kindle along for company - I was sorry when the car was ready... 

Posted on: September 28, 2012 - 3:36pm
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Yes pq, yuk!! C seems much better thankyou, though his appetite is still not fully back. Doesn't feel hungry, but once it's put in front of him, then he'll eat!

Posted on: September 28, 2012 - 3:53pm
hazeleyes
DoppleMe

My kindle and I Laughing

Posted on: September 28, 2012 - 3:54pm
mark66

Hi hazeleyes,

Your point about the parent being responsible for what the child sees/reads is a fair point, but my point is that when two parents do not have the same values and concerns about what the child reads then there is a concern - did that make sence?

As for the absent parent and not worrying what they see/read - well again, if the absent parent knows that the other parent has written something on a forum (or anywhere) and then quotes that to the child - that surely is not at all helpful for the child. Trust me, I know what I am talking about. My son had been used as a pawn by his mother in the past and it completely backfired and the courts (and other professional people) decided that my son should not live with his mother and she is a highly qualified person in a caring profession!

Anyway, my son is much happier now and in a much better place Laughing

M66

Posted on: September 28, 2012 - 4:31pm