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school holiday meltdown

greenegoddess

 

I feel like I need to have a rant about how hard the school holidays are when you are parenting alone, on benefits with no family for support.... but I'm too tired to even do that.  Is anyone else  feeling a bit stressed out x

Posted on: August 1, 2010 - 3:32am
greenegoddess

school holiday meltdown

Posted on: August 1, 2010 - 3:33am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

I agree, and not only do we have to entertain them, they EAT so much more and there are not even the free school meals that some of us rely on to at least fill them up once a day. It is clear that whoever designed the benefit system has never actually had to live with it.

As a resolution, I used to have a savings pot and put £2 a week in it, which helped towards Christmas and the big summer holidays. However there were many weeks when nothing went in it, and some came out. Needs must when you are about to have the electricity cut off! but anyway that is the theory behind the plan.....

As for now, how old are your children, green goddess? Tell us a bit more about your situation and there are a few of us who can chip with some support and suggestions.

Posted on: August 1, 2010 - 8:21am

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi Green goddess. I totally agree too. When there is no money, it is difficult to know what to do. Even if somewhere is free, you've got to have money for either public transport or petrol. Plus, like Louise has mentioned it costs more too in holidays to feed them, not just them, but if friends are over.

I so love the holidays and getting time to spend with my 7 year old, but at the same time, it is a ruddy nightmare.

Alison

x

Posted on: August 1, 2010 - 9:09am

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I had planned an activity this week - but the puncture and new tyre have put an end to that Cry  Never mind.

Food is an issue here, especially as my 14 year old sees it as his mission to clear the fridge and cupboards as quickly as possible.  Not sure if this is anything to do with his special needs, but he must eat twice as much as the others - and is like a bean pole!

Thank goodness for the games console.  It's a godsend, however much I'm not happy with them being on it.  It's rained every day here, so far, I believe.

Posted on: August 1, 2010 - 10:35am

Bubblegum
DoppleMe

Rain here too across the sea from you sparklinglime and I too am glad for computer games, despite the negative connotations attached to them by the press, we don't have a console but PC's and a massive box of Lego too and apart from the few times when we have left the house that is what they have been doing, playing LEGO Star Wars™ or LEGO Harry Potter™ or LEGO Batman™ or LEGO Indiana Jones™, or actually playing with actual Lego :)

Thank the gods for Lego and computer games.. and pens and paper too.

Here is a rare article going on about positive things to do with video games.

Posted on: August 1, 2010 - 12:12pm

Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi greenegoddess

Welcome back!  We have not seen you for a long time Laughing

So you are feeling exhausted?  One of my favourite tactics was decide to have a 'Film Day' this meant that we would spend all day watching films, eating rubbish and not doing any washing up or tidying up until the next day, ahhhh those were the days!

What is stressing you out the most? 

Money? - Have you looked at Your Local, to see if there is anything low cost or free going on in your area? (I know, you have to find lunch and travel money, but you might get some inspiration)

Adult company? - Hopefully we can support you here with a few chuckles Laughing, or perhaps you could join Meet a Mum from the Netmums site? Do you know any of your daughters friends parents that you could get together with?

Lack of inspiration/feeling as though you have to constantly entertain your child? Have a read of our Family Fun section.

Remember it is not our job to entertain our children, it is for them to find their own entertainment, sure we can play with them and take them on days out, but they must learn to entertain themselves too.

You need to give yourself a break, what would you like to do??

Posted on: August 2, 2010 - 3:19pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

It is my benefit day today, and after paying off the bills, took C for haircut, food shopping, I'm left with the grand total of £40. I haven't bought veg or anything yet, just freezer stuff really. Prices seem to have gone up, and I'm ruddy fed up with it all. So once again, I shall be saying to C, I'm so sorry, but we haven't the money to do anything. Yes I can sit in and play games with him, or go in the garden for a picnic etc.

He is going to look back on his childhood and have no memories of holidays etc, that is what is so sad I think. He'll also grow up with me always having to tell him that I have to watch the pennies.

I met a neighbour in the shops, and she asked me if I was going abroad for the holidays????????? Oh yes, I've got spare cash stashed in the loft, durrhhhh.

Posted on: August 2, 2010 - 3:31pm

Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi alisoncam, there are so many children that don't get holidays abroad or otherwise, but many of them also don't have a parent who is conscious of that, the fact that you spend time playing with him and having picnics, are truly precious holiday memories for him, he will remember it fondly when he gets older.

Don't belittle what you do with him, I think you are on the ball and give him what you can.

My daughter was just as happy camping in the garden than when I finally had the money to take her to Majorca.  I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to produce these amazing things, but our children gain just as much from our time and effort than a swanky all singing, all inclusive holiday in Mauritius!

Posted on: August 2, 2010 - 3:46pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi alisoncam

I agree everything has gone up. I have been to the supermarket today and cannot believe the cost. It is things like washing powder, loo roll and deodorant that push the bill up.

Now then, holidays. I do know of a place where single parents can get a free four day break at a Haven caravan park with some money for train fares, in term time, though so you have to get the school's permission, and it would be 2011 not this summer BUT you need to apply through what they call a "welfare agent". Do you know of anyone who would act as this for you? It can be a health visitor, social worker, Women's Centre, even someone at school as long as they will fill in a form to go with your application and will receive the travel money before the holiday, cheque payable to them and then give you the money. If you can think of anyone, ask them if they would be prepared to do it soon, because the applications for Summer 2011 start in November this year. Get your thinking cap on!!

By the way, the organisation I am talking about will not grant holidays to families with disabled children unless the family has applied for funding from the Family Fund and been turned down, am just mentioning that for other people.

Posted on: August 2, 2010 - 3:46pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

That is fantastic to know Louise. I'm sure my GP could do this for me, or I would ask the Headmaster. Can't see why he wouldn't. Just the mere thought of this gives me something to look forward too for next year, thankyou. Do you have the link or anything that I can go too?

I do understand what you're saying Anna, it's not so much about holidays abroad or anything, just the fact I'm constantly saying, can't do this, can't do that. Today, he saw how much I had, and then slowly but surely, he saw how it disappeared. It was like, now you see it, now you don't, hehe. We passed the shop which sells the uniforms etc, and I picked up a PE bag for him. £4 for a bit of material with the logo on. Oh well, one item down, (counting on fingers for how many more to go).

Could it be I'm just miserable today, and not seeing the brighter things in life!!!

Thankyou again for the info. Smile

Posted on: August 2, 2010 - 4:01pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I think the memories will be the time he's had with you.  They don't need holidays or big trips out to make the memories.  I think they value time at home too.

To be fair, I am lucky in living here - I know.  However, the amount of visitors about now makes it a nightmare to go anywhere.  One car driving up the wrong way of the one way in town, cars in the wrong lanes of roundabouts - three near misses this morning.  But then we're used to the tourists...  Don't have to like them though...

 

Posted on: August 2, 2010 - 4:04pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

heh heh sparkling, I used to live in a seaside town (my eldest was born there) and wow we hated the invaders for those summer weeks. I used to love the early mornings there, before the day trippers arrived and whilst the staying visitors were still scoffing their bacon and eggs. And also walking down to the sea at night after they had all gone home....although once I did this, rather heavily pregnant and suddenly got some contractions, didn't know what to do so I went and laid on a seafront bench until they went off. I must have looked funny! The GP said later that I had done the right thing.

alisoncam, I can't post the link here as the site is for the AGENT to go on and not the person wanting the holiday, the organisation are very strict about that. What I will do is send you an email about it, OK?

I agree with sparkling, C's best memories will be of you and the love and happiness you share, not of exotic trips!

Posted on: August 3, 2010 - 9:04am

Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi alisoncam

I do sooo know what you mean, I remember the days well!  I never thought it would change, however as my daughter got older and I was able to earn more, although money is still always tight, it has got a lot better.  Have you seen our list of Holidays that has been compiled by single parents?

 

Posted on: August 3, 2010 - 4:22pm

HelenT

Hi all,

I know this post has been inactive for a while but I just wanted to add that freecycle is a website where everything is given away for free, including stuff like camping gear. It might be worth a look to get a holiday for next to nothing.

HelenT

Posted on: August 30, 2010 - 11:41am