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he says hes going to tell SW he wants us back as a family... n ask for their help to be one...thats what i am meaning.... i would never put him b4 my kids hun i would always check with SW that it was ok... he is not getting round me as kids are my top priority xx if he wants to be a family he will need to do a lot of work with SW i don't think hes up to the job.... and i think its too little too late xx
So glad you will check with SW, I know how difficult it is when they promise good and you want to believe him xx
You are really so very strong bluedaisy, what a very strong answer despite you being so tired
he will promise the world but its no stopping him sitting in a pub... and hes saying that that girl was his pals girlfriend but hes been with her... he can go and jump lol x
I am so glad you are recognising it bluedaisy yes he is saying all sorts of things and every time different, good for you bluedaisy we all cheer for you xx
yip he told sw that girl was his cousin so who was she lol rofl hes been seeing her..... abusive guys eh?? i fgot told because of all this my wee girl at 1 might need to go on a supervision order there is a referal at the the childrens panel the now fingers crossed she doesn't as i feel like killing him thru it x
O no, who wants a supervison order bluedaisy ? Because he is messing about ? who made the referral to the childrens panel on what basis ? xx
How old are your girls bluedaisy ? Usually when there is a referral, it will first be investigated if it is needed, so let's keep fingers crossed
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Hello bluedaisy
When we truly love someone we want the best for them, we are kind to them, we take care of them. Your girls' dad is not doing any of these things, he is sending abusive and manipulative messages. The SW will not believe he "wants to be a family" but it is important that you stick to your guns now and demonstrate that you want to keep your children safe. It's equally important that you work with the system as a supervision order is put in place when parents are not seeming to be co-operative and it is an interim step to a care order, ie your child going into care.
Have a look at this website (click) which supports families with Social Services involvement.
the supervision order is because he isn't complying with social work... if i say i am away form him they are not beleiving me as i have took him back before... there was breaks of 6 months and 9 months... this is the third time social work have intervened... this time they wanted to know what had changed since social work got involved (we moved area same local authority but different dept they helped us get back into a relationship and thats how i had my 2nd daughter) and banned my ex from my house... hes did all this cause he blames me for them doing this where he should have stuck together with me against them.... but i think its too late now hes did all this...
Tell them you have done the freedom programme, that you now understand the mechanics and now will prioritise the children and do not want to get involved with him anymore, that you will follow the group one, that you need their support to help you with this and that you will seek support groups. It is never too late until it is done. If they see you are serious they might still help you. Read more books about it and go online. Seek therapy, it will all go to your advantage ...
i been doing loads of stuff... i am still keeping my girls safe i am adamant hes to follow social works rules i keep telling him that he will need to work with social work if hes wanting any contact with the girls.... i am adamant and i am sticking to my guns hun x
Well done you !!! Convince them you know what you are doing and you will do anything to protect your girls and they will help you, but tell them that if they think you need it, you will do therapy and this will go in your favour x
Yes, that is the thing, to convince them beyond doubt and offer to do whatever they think will prove this to them.
Thank you everyone.... had a wonderful driving lesson today :) my oldes is out playing and my youngest in bed having a good day all round xx im just waitng on my uni books and im going to start as soon as they come xxx
That sounds like a really positive day, bluedaisy
So glad you are feeling better bluedaisy :)
Whatever you decide, always check with the domestic violence helpline, Womens Aid, your support worker anyone else before making any decision. He has never looked out for you and your needs, he is not going to start now