pink lilly

So I work 5/7 days whilst being a single mother.  Ive been a single. Mother since my child was born 4uyears ago. 

I explained to a friend yesterday,  that when my son is witj his dad this weekend, I may just sleep - as in to catch up and regain some energy.  Similarly like other single parents,  I do not stop!!!!

My friend called me lazy!! It's really annoyed me. Im thinking ... do you. Know how hard.my life is? Do you know that the last time I managed to hang around,  lay on or sleep for a few extra hours was years ago. ( my childs contact is relatively new). 

Please somebody twlly me that you understand my long to simply sleep haha. 

Im mad because he clearly doesn't empathise with me. Maybe it's best to distance myself from friends who are. Less . understanding and more towards people who do :)

Any thoughts?  

Posted on: February 8, 2014 - 11:05pm
Skyflower
DoppleMe

You are doing an amazing job. You are working, raising a child, doing housework mail and administration, hardly any me time and you are very low on energy because you have to work so hard 

be so very proud of yourself of how you are coping with it all, you are doing great and deserve as much sleep as you want, a chill out and a relaxing bath whatever you like in your spare time. Friends support each other. You are a fab mum !! 

Posted on: February 9, 2014 - 1:39am

She Ra

Hello pink Lilly 

IMO your friends reaction is down to her lack of understanding I'm assuming  if she got me time shed run into town shopping or go meet friends for luch? Is that what she thin sort of saying? Because that's what she'd do and she probably can not understand why someone would spend their free time sleeping and I think as she clearly dont get it her only reaction could be that your lazy which clearly IS NOT the case.

If she/ he is a good friend other than this I would not distance from them however if they are unsupportive In more ways than this then remember we don't need unsupportive people in our lives and I would drop them like a hot potatoe.

I would think about your friend life, have they ever been a working and single parent? Do they get lots of help from family and their partner etc ? So think if they have never been in your situation then they won't understand.

My children are with their dad this weekend pink lilly and I went to sleep last night at 7.30 and woke up after 12 hours sleep this morning :o I'm still in bed now, 

we sleep because we need to honey not because we're lazy zzzzzzz

Posted on: February 9, 2014 - 9:27am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Ooh I am hopping mad here on your behalf, pink lilly! People who have never been parents have no idea how tiring it is, and when you do it alone, wow, it's gold medal material. If you finally manage to claw a bit of time back, you should do whatever helps you, whether that's sleeping, pottering, pampering.

Maybe your friend would babysit for you once a week so that you can go out and do all the things she "thinks you should be doing"? (HAHA)

I had a friend who told me I was lazy for having my shopping delivered. This was a woman who worked at a very easy job, with no children living at home and with nothing else in her life either such as the voluntary work, the church commitments and actual interests and hobbies that I have. None of their business! is what I say Laughing

Posted on: February 9, 2014 - 9:42am

pink lilly

Thanks all. She definitely doesn't understand as she hasn't been in my situation before.  Ill keep her as a friend but at a distance.  I need more support understanding friends at this moment in time.

Posted on: February 9, 2014 - 6:39pm

Skyflower
DoppleMe

 Pink Lilly, on here there are a lot of people that will support you, at least that is my experience.

Your friend can't help it that she has not had that experience but even if she hasn't had that experience, it is not too hard to imagine what someone else is going through and it isn't hard to imagine that if your friend choses for her leisure time to sleep, that she must be in a tough situation. No one would chose that unless you are very needing it. 

Glad you feel a bit better about it :)

Posted on: February 9, 2014 - 7:06pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I think it sad that we are made to feel 'lazy' over this.  Until people walk in our shoes, they won't understand,sadly.  

I'm having a problem now as my hours have been cut at work.  I feel guilty!  But I think that goes back to the careless comments that have been made - that you've just been on the receiving end of - over the years.

I hope you are able to catch up with some sleep.

 

Posted on: February 9, 2014 - 7:35pm

debsdelight

My little one was up at 7.30 am and has just gone to bed -slept for two hrs today so i have been on duty 11 1/2 hrs i am exhausted have a shoulder injury so in pain but have still had to cook, clean, wash, iron and look after madam.

 

Posted on: February 9, 2014 - 9:58pm

pink lilly

i think its amazing what single parents go through, and its absolutley right that nobody will ever full yunderstand unless theyve been in our shoes.

As you said skyflower, it isnt hard mind to show a bit of empathy.

But there we are

Posted on: February 10, 2014 - 9:15am

Skyflower
DoppleMe

hug for you ((((huggg))))

Posted on: February 10, 2014 - 9:18am