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Right this is gonna be another rant from me. (warning it's really long!!!)Apologies, just trying to paint the scene haha. I will try and make it seperate points.
My Son rips off his bib every meal time so he needs changed after every meal. I keep putting it back on but his mood gets worse until i give up.So he is covered in food as is the highchair and floor. Everytime I try to change him at the minute he refuses to lie on his back to get his bum changed. I've tried giving him a minute or 10, distracting him with toys or whatever he is trying to reach for, letting him hold the nappy/wipes.Tried repeatedly picking him up and placing him back on the mat/bed/my knee. He gets worse and worse until he's histerical! So i have to either stand him up or let him go comando until he's in a better mood.
I feel like i'm always trying to clean but the housework piles up anyway somehow. LO has to go in jumperoo while i clean because He needs constantly supervised while on the floor.(no interest in his toys, detects EVERYTHING he shouldn't go for )However he just whines the entire time ! So i feel bad and try to feed him (still bf) but he likes crawling around my bed, he goes all 4 edges to investigate. and i have to pull him back because he has and will fall. So eventually i give up and take him back down to the jumperoo, the whining continues. Just all day he whines.
I have started losing my temper quite a bit which i absolutely hate. I'm really trying to follow attachment parenting but i've lost it a few times while fighting about getting his nappy 5 times a day, or trying to stop the whining! I end up shouting (like full voice boom! to the point my throat hurts =(), or putting him in his cot and leaving the room (which causes him to start crying hysterically) and I've threw my phone a few times now, twice that i think he has seen. Just everything has built up and i needed a release. I know it's not his fault i feel so terrible. I just get as frustated as him and I feel alone.I've found myself just leaving the room and crying on the floor a lot. Today I had my parents over. I found myself crying while they were here which i didn't mean. My dad heard my voice go as i left the room They kept him amused while i tackled as much housework as i could ! Feeling helpless the full time.They saw me struggling and watched him while i left and went swimming for a half hour. That really helped.
Our days basically go.-Breakfast->cleaning up->milk feed->trying to get him to nap-> attempting to finish the cleaning i started-> trying another milk feed/nap-> lunch-> cleaning up-> milk feed -> nap together ( 1-2 hours) -> dinner-> play time together->6-7 start getting ready for bed -> 8.30-10 finally get him to bed-> clean up-> express milk-> me time-> bed . we don't always nap.
In between fighting about changing his bum/clothes.
I feel like i'm constantly cleaning,cooking and not getting to spend proper time with him! If we go to the shops it messes timing up and i fall behind with meals.I never really learned to cook and have been tryin to find healthy recipes. (he can't have cows milk products) I don't feel human anymore. Just a robot. If i have time to myself I'm behind on something. Like my me time is spent trying to find recipes and make a plan of meals so i can organize i grocery list. It takes days!!!
I have tried just leaving the housework and spending the day properly with him.Wonderful but omg the next day it's a landslide of housework. I don't want anyone over until it's clean but if people come over it creates a new landslide because i fall behind. I want to leave the house and see friends but i tried and he barely had any milk and i ended up crying my eyes out the minute we got home through the stress of the day! It's just me and bub, 24/7 . I don't feel like myself anymore. Like I don't matter as a person.
Just realized how much i've rambled here. apologies. I'm just burned out =(
Hello, I think many parents might experience this. My daughter had constant reflux as a young baby so had to wear a constant bid, she hated it and removed it every time no matter how often I replaced it so I ended up changing her clothes 4-6 times a day but now she is 1 and a half getting her changed (nappy or clothes) is still a struggle and takes ages- I try to reward her but she has no intreast- she simply hates clothes and nappies, sometimes it takes another person to hold her down (which she finds funny) she also pulls her nappy and clothes off herself- it can get very sttessful just to simply change her bum as sometimes she just gets up and runs off or hits me, clearly I can't put her on timeout nappy less incase she wees or poos- just hang in there, it's prob just a phase -
being a parent is very stressful as you feel like your whole life is based around this helpless child and you seem to lose yourself - do you have any family member to take your buba for a few hours or over night so you can have some "you" time? how about nursery, even if its just once a week?
Mmy daughter also has allergies and I have some good recipes if u want to exchange emails...I really sorry I can't offer more advice but just wanted to let you know your not alone with this problem
Thanks for the post Tinkerbell2, I was thinking of you while I was replying to Wee Froggy and thinking you would be able to give some sympathy and some good advice!
Re recipes, we don't permit private email details on here but you could start a new thread about this??
Great idea- I'm going to look thou my cook book later and start up a new thread :)
Hello Wee Froggy
Oh you sound so tired and over-worked, poor you!
It is very hard work with a baby and when you are parenting alone, there is no other adult to give you a break. You do mention your parents and I was thinking you could confide in them and see if they could help out with regular breaks. As for the whining, my goodness it is wearing when they do that. Sometimes I used to put music on just for a short break from the whining! Our instinct is to pick a child up who is making a noise and I agree with that...within reason, after all you do have to do SOME things alone. You could also think of a better fastening for his bibs so he can't rip them off? And as for the nappy changing, what used to work for me was singing. Your baby does not need you to be Leona Lewis, I used to sing silly words to Tv theme titles. I also used to get hold of both his ankles with one hand (putting one finger between his feet), once he was on his back so that his feet were out the way and a headstand was his only escape option.
I do understand that when you go out and about then you feel your son does not feed properly and this is really stressful for you. Do have a word with your Health Visitor about your son's feeding routine so see what she thinks and if she has any helpful suggestions. Click here for some dairy free recipes. Don't forget that when weaning, babies can eat most mashed up fruit and veg and eventually have those as finger food. Personally I feel it is important to try to get out EVERY DAY even if only for a short walk, or go to the swings, or feed the ducks or have a ride on the bus. Have a look here to find your nearest Children's Centre.....contact them and find out what is going on. You don't have to go out for the whole day, just a couple of hours. Talk to other parents, share a smile and a cup of tea. Contact Home Start and see if they have a local project (they provide volunteers to be an extra auntie to a family)
The thing about the housework, of course you need to keep the floor clean if your little one is crawling around. But truly this does not take long every day. No-one expects you to have a model home when you have a small child. As for friends, if they also have a child, offer to care for theirs and get them to return the favour once a week. If they don't have little ones, get them to come round and give you a hand with the washing up., run the hoover round. You said your boy likes his jumperoo, I am presuming this is a baby bouncer? You could also think of using a playpen (travel cots make good ones) My eldest used to hate his but the fact of the matter is that you need SOMEWHERE safe to put him while you whistle round, and then it will only take half the time as you are not anxious about watching him.
I know it is hard to start doing all these things all of a sudden but at the moment it sounds as if you are drowning, so do please give these ideas a go. If you give them a serious try and just feel worse, then do see you doctor as they can check you for post-natal depression.
Sending you a big hug, and keep posting as there is a lot of support here.