hovermad

Hi

I'm sick with worry right now. My ex-wife's latest relationship has ended which has left her emotionally raw. We have great shared access agreement with our 2 young kids (they live with her and I usually have them at least 10 nights a month), but my ex has decided that she has too many bad memories in this area and is going to move away, uprooting the kids, to be closer to her friends for emotional support.

 

Sadly, the friends in question are not a great influence, and my ex suffers from depression and regularly takes anti-depressants, alcohol, drugs and smokes and is consequently not emotionally in a great place right now with the split as well.

 

I don't want a hellish custody fight as my kids need their mum too, but my ex is not taking sound advice from anyone and I really don't know what the best way forward is.

 

Anyone know or suggest what I can do?

 

Thanks

Posted on: November 26, 2013 - 6:57pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello hovermad

This site is funded for parents who have the majority care of the children but I can give you some quick information about this matter.

I am thinking there is nothing legal in place about time with the children and therefore in that instance she can just move wherever she wants in the Uk (she would need permission from you to take the children to live abroad)

You need some legal advice but you "could" take out a Prohibited Steps Order to stop her moving, but you would have to show in court that it was a really bad idea for her to move and she would have to put the case for why she wants to. Expensive way to try and solve it, and if the move is not that far and you would be able to visit easily then success is doubtful. If you have concerns about the childrens' safety because of her alcohol/drug use then you need to address this anyway, whether she moves or not....if not, then these would probably not be grounds for a Steps order.

Do see a solicitor, even if just for a free half-hour of advice

Posted on: November 27, 2013 - 7:50am

hovermad

Thank you Louise.

At present, I'm really trying hard to get some of her friends 'together' to persuade my ex to get proper medical help. I don't want to use that as a reason for using legal matters as I don't want to ruin the fact that we have, until this point, alwYs tried to do what's best for the kids.

I was just hoping that as we have an agreement of shared residency (written agreement between us - they spend more time with her as she is closer to the school and she doesn't work), that I would have some rights is saying whether she could uproot the kids.

I am going to take more re formal legal advice as well regarding temporary custody due to the alcohol / drugs / anti-depressants, but it will be very difficult to prove. Her new ex would back me up, but that would probably come across as ulterior motives, but something has to be done to put the welfare of the kids first.

 

Do you have any advice on who I should go to get free legal advice and a child services dept to get advice?

Thanks

Posted on: November 27, 2013 - 9:25am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

It is indeed better to do it by co-operation rather than thropugh the courts. A written agreement between you sounds helpful,you didn't mention that you had it in writing. This strengthens your position considerably.

Most solicitors will give a 30 min interview free (check when you book) If you look at this page (click) you can put in your location and find a list of firms in your area, who deal in Family Law.

Posted on: November 27, 2013 - 2:54pm

hovermad

Thanks Louise. Will do.

Posted on: November 27, 2013 - 3:07pm