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Oh mi god, have you heard the news, about people being able to check up on the adults that spend time around our children? Single mothers should be aware as we are especially vulnerable! I think that anyone who has kids and feels uncomfortable about leaving their children with their new partner just shouldn’t! They should find out more about them, if there is any uncertainty then they are with the wrong man.
It said on my local radio that the reason that our local police didn’t partake in this pilot project is because at the moment they know where 97% of these sex offenders are at the moment, but they felt that if this law was to come about then they would go underground and would be more difficult to trace and find.
I agree with this, I think it is crazy, there was a story in the city where I live about a man who had sex with a woman he met at a club, it later turned out that she was underage and he is now on the sex offenders register, this is bonkers, what was she doing in a club for over 18’s anyway and how does that make him a sex offender?
Aaargh, it makes me so angry, I could rant for hours.
Does anyone out there feel the same as me? I also hate the thought of my brothers personal lives being interrogated by any woman. If that woman hasn’t taken time out to get to know them, then why should they do any babysitting???
Very cross owl!
My fear is for the people who live next door to registered paedophiles.
A few years ago my previous neighbour's record came to be public knowledge. People went crazy and tried to burn the house down. The house regularly got stoned and egged and my windows got broken too as I lived next door. On one occasion an angry mob gathered outside but when the police failed to turn up I had to deal with the situation myself. Would you believe one of the women argued it didn't matter if she burnt my kids too because "as least the paedos would be dead"!!
Eventually the house DID burn down and fortunately no one was killed. It was a truly horrible time and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I know that seeing that level of human ugliness has irrepairably damaged my son's psychological wellbeing.
I intended contacting wiseowl directly, but have been unable to.
My ex wife left the children and myself for what police and Social Services say is a Schedule 1 sex offender,paedophile.
I do of course have the papers to prove this, which I can send by email. If anyone is from Aberdeen w,where it comes from, or Essex, where it now lives. And needs to see the papers, let me know .
By the way , when friends learned what she haD LEFT US FOR , THEY DESERTED US! DID,NT WANT TO HEAR OF IT.
sO WE HAVE BEEN LONELY, ADDED TO ALL ELSE. RAY (whoops!)
P s, the children dont see their mother,so are in no danger.
Hi Ray
Poor you, it sounds as if you have had a hell of a time, great to hear that your children are now safe. I am sorry to hear that your 'friends' have deserted you. Not very supportive of them.
Its not very often that you hear of female paedophiles, but someone recently told me that the number is close to half of all paedophiles are women, its just that because they are often mothers or childminders, it isn't so obvious and often the children don't have another adult that they can trust. Absolutely awful.
Its strange to think that your ex is out there as a registered offender, did she do time??
wiseowl, his wife left him and the kids to be with a registered paedophile, he wasn't saying that she was a paedophile.
Clare :)
Oops well spotted Clarebear!
God that is so distressing, why are we so naive sometimes? We can be so blind when we are in "love".
Ray best of luck with the future, apologies for slip up earlier.
She could be one,maybe she is worse in a way. She gave it the girls mobile numbers, so it could and did make obscene calls to them ! police did nothing, I am told because it gives them info on other criminals. (but when i "objected " to it, verbally abusing my 8 year old daughter, i was arrested and fined ! ?
My Solicitor Sue, who dealt with my getting custody(not that their mother was bothered) Has invited me to N Z ,where she now is< If anyone wants to come.
P S, I find it upsetting that she (and other women) want these creatures (Google ted bundy) yet Iam still alone.
Hi Ray
You really have been through a really very difficult time, very extreme, do you have people locally that support you? It sounds as if your solicitor has been good, but what about mens groups?? Friends? Family?
I am guessing that you are a good guy, you are selflessly raising your girls and have had a real fight on your hands over the years. Your time will come when you get to meet a good woman. Are you working at the moment? Do you get much adult company??
When you say that your solicitor has invited you to NZ, does that mean New Zealand?? Is that a romance blossoming?? Are you planning to go??
Is there a way that we can recieve emails when a new post is posted?
No, we have had no support whatsoever. For the short time that the children saw their mother after she left, the children were on the at risk reg.As soon as they decided they did,nt wnt to see her, they were taken off. And social services reused any support. Friends all abandoned us!
My Solicior has someone.
No I have no adult company.
"friends" abandoned us, did,nt want to hear about what my ex had done.
have a cousin i can phone occasionally.
Both of my parents died unexpectedly last year, no family
I'm so sorry that you've lost your parents, and I'm sorry that your friends walked away.
Although I haven't been through anything like you have, friends walked away from me too. Things were pretty wierd. I came to the conclusion that they were unable to cope with the divorce thing. I have about three friends. I did have four, but my best friend died. My parents died a few years back.
It's remarkable what strength our children give us.
Heck, I was thinking the same as Anna was about the solicitor (sorry).
Best wishes
Hello Ray
That sounds a very lonely place to be and I am wondering what I can suggest to give you some support? You could try going to our main login page and cleck on Advice Finder on the right hand side to see if there are any useful agencies in your area. Also it occurs to me that you are in the situation of "starting again" and it is a bit like moving to a new area. Have a look at the thread entitled "finding friends for the child after moving to another city" in the Parenting Support section of the boards for some idea about building a new social network. You may think that netmums is just for mums but no! it is for dads too, here's the link http://www.netmums.com/home/home/
I know that many of us lone parents are also LONELY parents. it is important to buikd a good support network around you- for you and your kids. As sparkly says, sometimes people can't cope with the enormity of what has happened.....yes, I know, well how on earth do they expect YOU to cope with it? but they don't understand. For now, your job is to be a dad and see what you can sort for you and your family
best wishes
Louise :)
Hi Ray
Yes there is a way to be notified of new messages to you.
Go to User Control Panel (top left, just below Home button)
Go to Board Preferences
Click on Notify me upon replies by default.
Hope this helps, take care. :)
Oh mi god, have you heard the news, about people being able to check up on the adults that spend time around our children? Single mothers should be aware as we are especially vulnerable! I think that anyone who has kids and feels uncomfortable about leaving their children with their new partner just shouldn’t! They should find out more about them, if there is any uncertainty then they are with the wrong man.
Aaargh, it makes me so angry, I could rant for hours.
Does anyone out there feel the same as me? I also hate the thought of my brothers personal lives being interrogated by any woman. If that woman hasn’t taken time out to get to know them, then why should they do any babysitting???
Very cross wiseowl!
I don't understand which bit of this makes you angry?
If you started seeing someone new and they offered to babysit for you. Everything looks fine but you just don't know them well enough or for long enough it would be enough to put your mind at rest and if they have nothing to hide they should respect you for being so responcible.
Yet it does not wave a flag above their head telling the whole neighbourhood that he 'might be'
Mud sticks and can do lots of damage. yet this way the whole thing is private.
I think it is a good thing.
as a bloke I have always found it hard that people are suspecting me, just for being a bloke, it reminds me of that book I did at school 1984