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Thanx Anna. : )
I just worry about it all sometimes.
The best way to make children good is to make them happy. (Oscar Wilde said that)
Thanks sparkling, it is a bit weird reading it all back, I am proud of me too!! 
bubblegum, I think as long as we keep communication open, perhaps occasionally ask our children how they feel about the other parent, show them that it is safe to talk about the other parent - sometimes I will say 'ahhh, your dad used to love this song' or something similar - then they will be rounded. My daughter knows that I 'loved' her dad and he hurt me. Hopefully quite a good life lesson, in the long run. 
justmeplus2, sorry I hope you don't feel as though your thread has been hijacked?
Have you been in contact with a solicitor? Are you still thinking along those lines?
Hi, not at all its good to here other issues and resolutions.
I am going to try sending him a letter/email explaining that we need to put in place a routine which will benefit our son and suggest contact every other weekend with possibly one also during the week.
I will not tell him what i know about the weekend as then he may put pressure on our son telling him not to say anything to me in future. I will make clear suggestions and also expectaions i.e. he is not to play out unsupervised and if my ex is going out our son either stays with relatives (i.e. his grandma and grandad) or my ex brings him home but under no circumstances is he to be left with adults he his not familiar with.
I shall also make a point that if any of these points are not adhered to i will stop contact due to my concerns over sons safety / welfare and seek legal advice. This way i will have proof that i have tried to be reasonable should things go to court.
He has just text me to say his uncle has died but again this may be him playing his games to try and get me to feel sorry for him. But, due to this i shall hold off from sending for a couple of days as it can wait as i shall be looking after our son this weekend. He was not close to this uncle so i dont think he will be upset but out of respect i shall wait.
Hi justmeplus2
That all sounds as if you are ready to put some boundaries in place. Did you look through that link that Anna provided, which helps parents consider the arrangements for children? If not, here it is again
Thats great news justmeplus2, your message sounds really clear, concise and well thought out, respectful yet firm.
Are you and your boy going to do anything special this weekend?
Hi Anne, well i sent the email this evening as weekend is approaching, to say it went down like a lead balloon is an understatement.
He has hit the roof at my suggestion of alternate weekends and one day during the week, i have received endless vile texts from calling me to telling me he might as well do a way with himself and i will be the one who has to explain (a threat he always makes).
I have since suggested mediation but he told me exactly what to do with that, i have not responded as i think he is being unreasonable. I have set out a clear routine and if he is not happy with it given him another suggestion via mediation and he does not want to know. What else can i do?
He did say he was going to come round but i told him if he did i would ring the police.
Do you think because i am standing up to this bully which i never have done before he is finding it difficult? I dont want to anger him but it seems to be doing exactly that.
My niece is staying this weekend who is similar age to my son so they can play together. My son loves it when she stays. We are going to the pictures on Saturday and then for a Pizza afterwards. My son is really looking forward to it.
Hello justmeplus2
Sounds like you handled things in an excellent way, well done you! Yes I do think he is flummoxed because you are dealing with him in a different way, not responding to emotional blackmail or to threats and you have now done all you can and need to stick to it and stay calm. You have shown yourself to be eminently reasonable, suggesting contact times and suggesting mediation.
That sounds lovely that your son will have a playmate over the weekend, try and get a bit of time out for yourself as well, if you have the two of them as well as the baby!
Hi justmeplus2, I know you don't want to anger him, but there is little you can do other than give in to everything he wants. He will fight whatever you say.
You now have to just stick to your guns, you know what is best for your little ones and for yourself and you need to stick to that path, regardless of how he kicks against it. Which he will continue to do, if he thinks he can.
Well done for letting him know now that you aren't afraid to call the police - good move. You are setting up some boundaries, just ensure you keep them in place.
Hope you had a great weekend 
I'm sure she's proud of you too Anna.